synthesis weekly april 8-15, 2013
DESCRIPTION
Vol 19 Issue 32TRANSCRIPT
pg. 10 Shockingly Smug
3 player teams. Sign up with bartender. Starts at 7PM
8-BALL TOURNAMENT Sign-up BPM Starts at 7PM
LIVE JAZZ BPM
ROCK SHOWCASE Cammies Present BPM
FUNK/ JAM SHOWCASE Cammies Present BPM
9-BALL TOURNAMENT Sign-up at noon Starts at 1 PM
BLUES SHOWCASE Cammies Present 9PM
THURSDAY Cammies World/Reggae/Celtic Showcase 9PM The Dancehall Ease Up & AZ Redsmoke Following Cammies Showcase
FRIDAY Cammies Rap Showcase BPM
FEVER Fridays with DJ Marvel Following Rap Showcase
Harvestival Entertainment Presents Dead Winter Carpenters Lonesome Locomotive On the Bus Lighting Production 9PM
INSIDE THIS WEEK'S ISSUE s nthesis
GIDDYUP It seems like Band of Horses is everybody's favorite band, and guess what? Your favorite band is coming to town. Jeremy Gerrard cracks the cranium oflead singer/ songwriter Ben Bridwell in the Synthesis preview of their April 16th show at the Senator. Bridwell talks about ghosts and cites Dinosaur Jr. as one of many influences. It's going to totally blow all your hipster minds.
KNIGHT OF WANDS If you've been following along, welcome to the next episode of Knight of Wands. Graveyard adventures, witches, virgins, stabbings, itchy arms, gooey dead bodies, magic and mystery- what doesn't Justin Ferrin's fantasy adventure serial have to offer? If you're late to the party, don't worry, they're still available online at synthesisweekly.com. Get some.
YOU'RE STYLIN', BRO This week the Synthesis is taking it to the street. Jen Cartier says, "Chico has great style;' and we agree. We want to check out your face, your outfit, and find out what makes your style so fresh.
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IMMACULATE INFECTION
PUT A FORK IN IT
COMICAL RUMINATIONS
OFF MY LAWN!
HOWL
PEDAL PUSHERS
SCENE REPORT
05
06
07
16
16
17
20
LETTER FROM THE EDITOR Sara Calvosa [email protected]
po-lar-ize: to divide into sharply opposing factions, political groups, etc. I learned something last week. I learned that a lot of people in Chico have the same sense of humor that I do, and I learned that a lot of people don't read things before slapping down their opinions. Just a few words setting up our April Fool's joke on the Life in Chico Facebook page sent a ton of people in a swirling tailspin of hatred, intolerance, and vehement negativity. They launched their opinions like Angry Birds over the interwebs, assholes aflame with anger about nothing. Don't get me wrong; it's not the presence of opinion. It's the lazy way they go about forming it. So bollocks to those guys, they look super dumb, and hurray for the people that read it, you're thumbs up in my book. Jokes rule!
Speaking of big jokes, Toby Schindelbeck petitioned the City Council to consider a resolution supporting the 2nd Amendment last week. And much like Schindelbeck's run for council, the majority told him to stick it. Dan Kelley - a retired old police so & so - even pulled a rockin' grandstand move in front of the council, asking everybody to rise in support of the 2nd Amendment and then promptly patting himself on the back for his ability to command a room before he went back to mumbling incoherently.
But rather than allow themselves to be backed into the polarizing corner of doom, where you either side with the granted constitutional right of the people to bear arms or you're a goddamned freedom -hating communist, Vice Mayor (and possible living incarnation of King Tut) Scott Gruendl offered up an elegant solution. "I've taken the oath of office nine times .. .! think our affirmation of our oath of office is something that we are confronted with on a regular basis and the 2nd Amendment is part of that, but it's not the only part of that;' he said. "I appreciate the request that is before us today but it's more than just the 2nd Amendment, so I would move that we reaffirm our oath of office but that we<l reaffirm our oath of office in its entirety, to protect the constitution and ALL of its amendments:' Then, Ann Schwab and her jaunty scarf seconded Vice Mayor Gruendl's proposal. Everybody hear hear'ed it, and the motion to ignore Toby Schindelbeck was passed. May he go quietly into the night.
Note: I misspelled Councilmember Sporkensen's name last week. I appreciate the email correction and his super great sense of humor.
APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2013 3 I
I
Re: Wireless Wanderers, April 1st issue Of course. Thank you. Onion-esque satire is always welcome (or was in pre-0 days, when they had balls).
Obert Quinn, via synthesisweekly.com
Well played Bryan Fox, via Facebook (Life In Chico)
It's interesting how many people will comment on something without actually reading the article. Tina Karr Glover, via Facebook (Life In Chico)
Typical Synthesis, always publishing mindless idiotic stories. Don't give the City Council more attention. Brooke Johnson, via Facebook (Life In Chico)
best non quote "These people need our help, not our condemnation and intolerance;' councilmember Tami Ritter would have said, had she responded to our request for commenf'. . .lol Daniel Klevesahl, via Facebook (Life In Chico)
Is this what qualifies for humor in the new" family friendly" Synthesis? Pathetic. Renee Waiti, via Facebook (Life In Chico)
my initial reaction was to yell 'what the f-bomb?!; this was the only thing to kind of get me today. good job. Kitty Holt, via Facebook (Life In Chico)
Sara: OK ... Pretty funny;-) Well done. One minor error, Sorenson should have been spelled Sorensen ... I just love the ending "For more information, and to see if you qualify for a free iPad, call 530-894-2300" .... Using the CN&R's phone number is just priceless;-) I wonder how many calls they got?
Mark (Chico City Councilmember Mark Sorensen) via email
Thanks for putting CN&R's phone number at the end of your article! We'll be sure to forward all five of your readers to your office's number. Melissa Daugherty (Managing Editor, Chico News and Review) via Facebook (Synthesis Weekly)
Re: No Teacher Left Behind, April 1st issue I demand to know the true identity of this commie! He must be brought before the Commission for the Preservation of Inequality for State Sponsored Educators (PISSED)! Actually, I just want to buy him/her a drink. :) Nice work. Matt Olson via synthesisweekly.com
4 APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2013
CROSSWORD
••••D••••••DDDDDD ••••o•••••••••o•• ••••o•••••••••o•• •DDDDDDD•D••DDDDD ••••o•o••o••••o•• •D••••DDDDDDDDDD• •o••••o••o••••o•• ~ooo••o••o••••o•• •o••••o•~····~DDD ~DDD~DD•D•••••D•• •o••o•••~DDDDDDD• ••••o•••o•••••••• ••••D•~DDDDD••••• ••••o•••o•••••••• ~DDDD••~DDDD••••• ACROSS DOWN
2. Rock
4. Performed on Letterman 'The
7. Bridwell's previous band, Carissa's
9. All the Time
10. Infinite
12. Opened for Iron and __
13. Covered Cee Le's ' __
15. Formed by former member Mat Brooke, Grand __
16. Opened for Snow __
17. Music video for this song premiered exclusively on IMDb
18. Cease to
1. 'Slow Hands of Time'
3. Nominated for Best __ Album Grammy
5. Toured for first time in South in 2012
6. In soundtrack of Twilight Saga: Eclipse, 'Life on __ '
8. Band of
11. Formed in
14. 2010 nominated
Crossword created by Bethany Johnson
FE I
synthesis For 19 years The Synthesis goal has
remained to provide a forum for entertainment, music, humor, community
awareness, opinions, and change.
PUBLISHER Kathy Barrett
MANAGING EDITOR Sara Calvosa
EDITOR Nolan Ford
nolan@synthesis .net
DESIGNERS Michaela Warthen
Paige Cloke Tanner Ulsh
DELIVERIES Joey Murphy Molly Roberts
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Arielle Mullen, Bob Howard, Bryan Lex, Danny Cohen, David Neuschatz, Dillon Carroll, Evan Billman, Guy Starvist, Howl, Jack Knight, Jen Cartier, Josie Hall, Jeremy Gerrard, Kenneth
Kelly, Koz McKev, Ky Junkins, Matt Olson, Molly Lex, Ryan Hawkley, Steve Swim, Tommy Diestel
PHOTOGRAPHY Jessica Sid
Vincent Latham
CALENDAR Bethany Johnson
NERD Dain Sandoval
dain@synthesis .net
ACCOUNTING Ben Kirby
DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS Karen Potter
OWNER Bill Fishkin
The Synthesis is both owned and published by Apartment 8 Productions. All things published in these pages are the property of Apartment 8 Productions and may not be reproduced, copied or used in any other way, shape or form without the written consent of Apartment 8 Productions. One copy (maybe two) of the Synthesis is available free to residents in Butte, Tehama and Shasta counties. Anyone caught removing papers will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law (and our law!). All opinions expressed throughout the Synthesis are those of the author and are not necessarily the same opinions as Apartment 8 Productions and the Synthesis. The Synthesis welcomes, wants, and will even desperately beg for letters because we care what you think. We can be reached via snail mail at the Synthesis, 210 W. 6th St., Chico, California, 95928. Email [email protected]. Please sign all of your letters with your real name, address and preferably a phone number. We may also edit your submission for content and space.
210 West 6th Street Chico Ca 95928
530.899.7708 [email protected]
SYNTH ESISWE E KLY.COM
IMMACULATE INFECTION Bob Howard [email protected]
Pulling On Superman's Cape There are probably more professional dancers than there are
professional singers. Trish told me that tonight, and I believe
her. She proposed to me that many, many more people should
be instructed in the art of dance. I agree with that too. Her
argument involves employment opportunities, but I am more of
the opinion that wea all benefit from being able to move fluidly
with grace, poise, and balance. Most of us have to drink plenty
to get there but that approach comes with its own penalties and
drawbacks.
We live across from the Masonic Temple. There's nothing too
impressive or unusual about that. I lived above a Masonic Lodge
when I was down south. My roommate was working on learning how to roller-blade down in the Mason's parking lot when he
lost control, ended up careening into a wall, and then pitched
over it. That would have probably been bad enough - he
ended up laid out on his back in the gravel - but then the wall
toppled over and smashed up his face. The wall bordering the
parking lot of an esoteric group of stone workers fell over onto my friend's face. As terrible as that was for him, that has always
struck me as really funny.
The grass is eight feet tall and this pattern of rain-sun-rain-sun
repeat is making it so you can sit and watch that grass grow at a
rate of nearly six inches per hour. The television's reception right
now is about to drive me off of my rocker. I've almost had it.
The local weather-person is at it again, anthropomorphizing the goddamn weather. It isn't "good weather;' or "bad weather," it's
just weather. Tell me the temperature; tell me if it's going to rain. I'm not interested in the editorial comments on the weather's
relative aesthetic qualities. Anyway, we've had so little rain this
winter, and now spring, that it's hard for me to understand how anyone classifies dry weather as "good:' It's California, and it's a
weird night.
I really don't know what's going on. My teeth ache, David
Letterman is lambasting the government, and I'm drinking a wine that could generously be described as, "smells like feet:'
It's not that bad. I mean, I've had a lot worse. Overall I'm feeling
pretty good, maybe even a five on a scale of ten.
In a roundabout way I'm trying to say "don't mess around with the Masons:' We're witnessing the results of going toe-to-toe
with them, and it's not pretty. We're not directly involved -
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we're smarter than
that. My friend
whose face got smashed didn't
sue the Masons because he's a smart
guy. Don't poke a
sleeping dog with a
stick. Not everyone
understands this.
I'm afraid there
are those of us out
here that never got
enough attention
as a kid, and any
attention we did get
was negative. This
makes for puzzling,
drama-loving adults - the kind of people who will go ahead and poke a sleeping dog
in the belly, or pick a fight with the Masons.
APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2013 5
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Apocalypse Peach Every so often, I inherit a Lucky Peach magazine. It makes my heart purr. Lucky Peach is the Ramones of the food mag industry; less
heady than Gastronomica (which has stolen
my heart for different reasons) and more
qualified to instruct readers than Food Network Magazine or Rachel Ray Everyday. In the
end, it's the scrappy take on food that makes
readers of
that peach so
damned lucky.
The Peach's playful mix
of irreverence
and humble
awe over the
things we put
in our mouths is charting
new territory, and they're
doing it with
pulpy style.
Winter 2013
was the
''Apocalypse Issue:' In it, I
found handy tips on purposefully aging canned
goods years past their expiration dates to
achieve new and exciting flavor characteristics,
how to make Canadian Spam, and Ted
Nugent's take on the type of person best suited for post-apocalypse survival. "He is a man's
man with an indefatigable gung-ho warrior
attitude ... six foot, two inches ... an expert with
all weaponry ... known for writing the ultimate
love song of all time. Think "Wang Dang Sweet Poon tang." Well, then.
Some people are still obsessed with fantasies of
a zombie apocalypse, but more important than
that is the sad, yet somehow intriguing reality
that we are in the midst of global extinctions
that many of us prefer to ignore.
In Peter Meehan's Lucky Peach article,
"Seafarming at The End of The World;' he
talks to a new kind of seaman (not semen,
you pervs) about strategies for vertical oyster
farming, kelp production, and sustainability.
One of the first things to die off in the ocean
when temperatures rise are the oysters. They
are also an indicator species for healthy ocean
habitats. Wild oysters are becoming a thing of
the past. They're dying out in droves.
It's not only oysters. My fish guy told me I couldn't get
anchovies for my
last Supper Club because, "they're
just not catching
em:' Guess
what makes
that happen?
Warmer water
temperatures.
I was forced
to use capers
in mycaesar
dressing for
some semblance
of that anchovy flavor, and fried
smelt for another
application I
would have
preferred that signature anchovy flavor for.
Are we the real zombies? Ruining our
environment because our ravenous appetites
won't allow us to stop, even if we lose our souls and a few limbs as we ramble through life's
alleyways scumming for sustenance?
Who cares? Those of us who have a heart
connection to food (my heart is actually made
of duck confit) and who believe in preservation
of species for the benefit of the earth and our
hedonistic desires care. I want bees to survive
for the sake of the plants they pollinate, and
because I want to eat. I want to enjoy their sweet honey. I want fruit, almonds, tomatoes
- all those things bees pollinate. And I want
them to buzz around my yard reminding me of
the way things all work together, until the cows
come home.
SYN TH ESISWE E KLY.COM
COMICAL RUMINATIONS Zooey Mae [email protected]
Candy Crushing It! I think if someone were to do an analysis of all
the columns I've written for Synthesis in the
last five years, the most frequently occurring
topics would be pillow forts, whiskey, and my
incapacitating seasonal allergies. I don't mean to beat a dead horse, but you guys; they're really,
really bad. As in, call-into-work-sick bad.
Last week,
after spending
the night
sweating out
Daiya Mac
&Cheese
with Tapatio
and sneezing
approximately
every 15 seconds, I
found myself
waking up
with eyes
almost
swollen shut
and my voice
nearly gone.
I had the face
of Norman
Reedus after being stung in the eyes by jellyfish,
and the voice of Kathleen Turner after a bender. I don't know if this season is especially awful,
or I'm just getting whinier by the day (which is
entirely possible). I spent the day in a Benadryl
induced coma, only surfacing to fumble my way
to the bathroom and then collapse back in bed.
In any case, when seasonal afilictions get you down it's a good idea to focus on the positive,
like antihistamines being sold on campus for
a fraction of the price, or the return of Game
of Thrones. I watched the season premiere last
night. Was I the only one who felt like nothing
substantial happened? I know there were a lot
of characters to catch up with, but really the
only entertaining part came during Daenerys'
storyline. I'm confident the season will pick
up quickly, but in case you're like me and want some more GoT news sooner than later,
Geekologie is reporting that HBO has licensed
the rights to a Game of Thrones-themed beer.
They've gifted this to the Ommegang Brewery
in upstate New York and have announced that
the beer will have flavors of pils, honey, aroma malts, red wheat, grains of paradise, lemon
peel, and will boast 6.5% alcohol by volume.
Personally I'm hoping they release a Khal Drogo Dark Ale that's full-bodied and aggressive, or a
Joffrey Pale Ale that tastes like Pabst mixed with Zima and,
has people
storming
the streets
demanding
its recall.
In other beer news,
there is now
a beer pong
arcade game
with real
red cups,
real ping
pong ball
and ... no beer. Yeah,
I know, I
don't get it either. Foodbeast reports: "It's called Beer
Pong Master, and it's made by the dudes at Bay
Tek Games. It's all very fluid - swipe a credit
card or insert a coin, pick 1-4 players, and be
on your way. Normal beer pong mechanics
are in play here, but you have a set amount of
time to sink as many balls in the still-lit cups as
possible:' I don't know about you guys, but I feel
no desire to play this game. However, I never
really felt any strong push to play the game in real life either, so maybe I'm just not the target
demographic. I'll stick to drinking wine out of
a sippy cup and playing Candy Crush on my
phone. (Seriously, I can't stop playing Candy
Crush).
Sugar Rush!
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Affordable menus. Exceptional taste. We can't wait to serve you!
Eat. Drink. Be Merry. Locally. phone: 530.222.4895 facebook.com/blushcatering
APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2013 7
Listening to Band of Horses will make you hip, but they aren't just for hipsters.
They're for anyone who appreciates the subtleties of musical freshness. Their lyrics are provocative without being overly cerebral, and their music balances effortlessly on the side of simplicity; they're genuine, not dramatic. That's why millions of people have proudly pledged their allegiance. With venues like the Fillmore, the Fox Theater, Ryman Auditorium, Coachella, and Jazz Fest becoming familiar sites of packed audiences, the Carolina-based five-piece shows every sign of more success to come.
Less than ten years ago Band of Horses released their first album, which was followed by the unforgettable Cease to Begin. The first two records were like beautiful strangers you swore you'd met before. Infinite Arms then followed in 2010 to widespread critical acclaim. Released just this past fall, Mirage Rock represents the band's fourth studio record, produced by the well-known Glyn Johns (much to the chagrin of some BOH faithfuls). Although
I a
it has yet to reach the acclaim of
its predecessor, Mirage Rock has been receiv
ing global attention, and this big band will be stopping in little Chico on Wednesday to pro-
APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2013
mote it. Lead singer/songwriter, Ben Bridwell, graciously spoke with Synthesis in prep for the show. The interview takes you behind the mind of the man who stands at the front of Band of Horses.
(Author's note: the smoothness of the conversation and the
modest authenticity of Bridwell's responses are impossible to
capture here; it was surreal
and I wanted to give him
a hug.)
Let's start at the beginning; "The Funeral:' Who's the "you" in
"I'm coming up only to hold 'you' under:'? I tend to substitute 'T' and "you" and "we,, and "us,,,
and so on, and I think I tend to dance
around who those people are; sometimes even within the same song. But particularly that song, I think the "you" there could be the listener. But sometimes - and it might be the case here - the "you" is me and I just don't want
to say'T'
Anything you want to add about that interchangeability of pronoun reference? Honestly, sometimes it's phonetic garbage that just sustains the meter of the song, and sometimes it's totally deliberate. I might seem like I'm trying to complicate this, but I really don't understand it myself and I'm kinda glad I don't.
It's okay not to understand things. Then I'm doing great!
What song would most appropriately be played at your own funeral? Man, that is tough! Well, I'd say "Happy Birthday:' I like going with the opposite.
Fast-forwarding a little, let's target "Older" from Infinite Arms. Can you remember the
catalyst for that song? Dude! Actually, Ryan Monroe - our keyboardist, guitarist, badass extraordinaire - wrote that song. I think about that song often. I'm glad I don't know the catalyst for it though, so I can't ruin this one for you.
Let's talk about ghosts. They're mentioned a few different times on Cease to Begin. Well, "Is There a Ghost?" goes
back to when I was
SYN TH ESISWEE KLY.COM
doing home recording, and I tend to get this paranoia or hypersensitivity when I'm writing and recording a song. The slightest noise will set me off. But anyway, the ghost there is actually my icemaker. With "No One's Gonna Love You;' I think that's just the kind of person or thing or memory that haunts you through
Archers of Loaf in there. I cut my teeth on those as a teenager. That's in my bones just as much as Neil Young and the Rolling Stones. And even the solo stuff of Ronnie Lane (Faces). But I could really only hit the tip of the iceberg ifI told you all the artists I borrow from.
Into the present now, Mirage Rock seems more nonchalant than usual. I don't mean that in a bad way really. Am I right, and what caused that to happen? Absolutely. There's a lot of reasons, but I think it's a
combination of bringing in Glyn Johns and because we
time.
Do you believe in ghosts? I've never seen one, but it's hard for me
to say that something does or does not exist. I've personally never had an encounter, but I wouldn't rule it out, that's
for sure.
"There's still some dysfunction just
like any band, but it works for us.
There's lots of love now, and that
didn't have time to overthink it and over-edit. It was a liberating process, for better or worse.
Now that you've gone through different approaches to recording, how do you envision the production process of the next LP?
What strides do you believe you and the band have made as you approach your tenth year? Listening and watching some of our really early performances, I was still struggling to find my voice. There was some amateur shit going on that kinda makes me cringe to revisit it. I think the most major strides are in the musicianship of the band, but more importantly in the overall vibe. You know, bands have to become a family and all that cliche shit, but in our family there's so much love involved that problems and egos are easily fixed. There's still some dysfunction just like any band, but it works for us. There's lots oflove now,
and that makes it more fun.
Can you explain how you eventually "found your voice?" Totally! Reverb [laughs]. Reverb and delay. Same thing with guitar playing. I was so nervous, and I'd never sung or written songs prior to Band of Horses, so those effects aided my lack of talent and really gave me a security blanket to go out and do it. And when the crowds responded well, that kind of shaped the sound of the band. It lead to atmospheric stuff, which probably lead to songs like "The Funeral:'
Considering your musical life to the present, who are the influences that we don't know about? Who are the ones that we can't pick out easily? Oh great question, man. I hear 'em all the time. There's
plenty ofDinosour Jr., Pavement, Grandaddy, and
makes it more fun."
Now what about your non-musical influences? What shapes your music that isn't already music? Ah, great one. I'd say conversations, definitely-my wife, someone at the grocery store, and certainly Ryan Monroe and best friend Chris Williams. Anybody, really. Conversations, man.
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I would imagine doing something different from what we did with Glyn. I don't want it to be too easy. I'd like to have the option of overthinking and over-editing, if possible. I'd like to have someone there to blow the whistle, so to speak. I don't think producing it ourselves is the direction we'd go in, but it's too early to speak out loud about it. I fear the repercussions.
Lastly, what song do you wish you'd written? There's a million of 'em. But a song I totally adore? How about "These Arms of Mine"?
Love it.
Band of Horses will perform alongside
support act The Olms next Tuesday, April 16th at the Senator Theatre. If tickets haven't sold out yet, they can
be purchased in advance for $27.50 at
www.senatortheatrechico.com. The show starts at BPM and welcomes fans of all ages.
by Jeremy Gerrard
APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2013 9 I
"It's freezing out here and my parents must be freaking out, can't the
bodies wait?" I look over at Jessica who 's shivering her ass off in a cotton T-shirt and running
shorts. At the very least, I should take her back to my car.
"Alright, let 's go." I drape my jacket over her shoulders and we start walking out of the cemetery.
"What's your name?" Her voice is still a little shaky, but it sounds more like chills than fear.
"Brandon," I reply as we pass a five-foot obelisk.
"Thank you again, Brandon."
"You're welcome. Mind walking a little faster? The sooner I bum these bodies, the sooner I'll get you home."
"Bum them?! Won't that interfere with the investigation?"
'Tm not a cop," I chuckle.
"Then why did you rescue me?"
"Money." Speaking of which, I bet Elyse has some highend goods on her. Madame Rakoczi pays top dollar for the things I find while hunting.
After that exchange she's quiet; I guess she's disappointed. Tough shit. I stop walking to open the iron gate. Before I get it open, I feel something pointy pressing against my back- a knife ifl'm lucky, a wand ifl'm not. I did not see this coming. First off, where the hell did she stash that? I tried not to notice since she looked like jailbait, but those were some little shorts. Second, I already plugged the witch.
"After the last dozen hunters I expected someone older, more experienced." So SHE'S Elyse.
I 10 APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2013
"Says Miss Teen California. You've aged well. What 's your secret, Elyse?" I assumed that the older woman was my mark, not the scarred girl on the ground. Looks like I shot the wrong woman back there.
"Oh, you know. Wheatgrass shots, yoga, blood of the innocent," she states wryly.
"The Bathory approach, I should've known."
Part III of IV Story by Justin Ferrin Art by Nik Burman
"How will you complete the ritual, seeing as how I shot your virgin?" I ask, attempting to fish for information.
She laughs, 'Thanks for the offer but I already have one lined up, Brandon." Damn, I walked into that one.
"Then who did I shoot?"
"That was my apprentice. She was doing repairs to Virgil 's body. The proper preparation makes a resurrection go so much smoother." She grabs me by the shirt and spins me around, walking back toward the bodies.
"Good thing I shot her."
"It certainly is. She didn't know it, but her death was needed to complete the spell. Your timing was impeccable." I let out a sigh. Elyse has been in control of this situation from the get-go.
"Not that I mind, but why am I alive?"
"Virgil and I will want something to play with."
"Sorry lady, I charge extra for couples."
"Enough small talk. The moon will soon peak and Virgil will rise." Ifl don't figure out a plan quickly, not only will I be toast but Virgil will be alive again ... and that can' t happen. Like a convict getting out of federal prison, a wizard returning from the other side will have learned a heap of new tricks. Overpowering her physically wouldn' t be hard. If that 's a wand, this could go sideways fast. Breaking it is my best shot. I thrust myself back at her. I feel a deep, sharp pain in my lower back. I gasp - that was definitely a knife.
"What a shame. Virgil and I were going to have fun playing with you." Intent on her goal, Elyse walks by without giving me any further consideration. I roll over on my side so that I can watch her. That bitch is still wearing my jacket.
SYN TH ESISWE E KLY.COM
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APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2013
synthesis please drink responsibly! .. Mon-Fri happy hour Daily Happy Hour Mon-Fri 2-6PM MONSTER MONDAY 11-2PM from 4-7PM Sl.SO PBR or Coors Pints SPECIALS 6PM-CLOSE S2.SO Dom & Sierra PBR S2.2S Everyday! S2 Kami Shooters Nevada Drafts 1/2 OFF POOL S6 Pulled pork sand w/ 3-6PM S3.SO Dbl Wells Pool League, 3 player fries or salad 6PM - close teams. Sign up with
SB Dom Pitcher bartender. Starts 7PM. S9 SN Pitcher All ages until IOPM MON 2 DOLLAR TUESDAY! Daily Happy Hour Mon-Fri 2-6PM DO LLAR DAZE 6-9pm Food & Drink specials! from 4-7PM Sl.SO PBR or Coors Pints SI Beer SI Wells 11AM-2PM S2.SO SN & PBR S2.2S Everyday! 52 Kami Shooters S2 Doubles Dom Drafts 1/2 OFF POOL 2-close S2.SO wells & Chicken Strip Sand only Dom Drafts S3.SO Dbl GAME NIG HT! S6 before 6 PM Wells & Kami shots SI PBR all night
All ages until IOPM TUE WING WEDNESDAY! Daily Happy Hour Mon-Fri 2-6PM Jr Grad Burger w/ fries or S2 for 3 Wings from 4-7PM SI.SO PBR or Coors Pints salad S3.99 S2.50 SN Pint All Day Full Bar in Back Room S2 Kami Shooters
Weds, Fri & Sat Nights' 1/2 OFF POOL 8-Close Pitcher Specials BPM-Close PBR S2.2S Everyday! S6/S9/Sl2 S3.SO Jim Beam, Captain 8 Ball Tournament
Morgan and Jameson Sign-up 6PM. Starts 7PM. FREE Pool after IOPM WED 11-2PM S2.SO Dom Daily Happy Hour Mon-Fri 2-6PM Baby Back Ribs S!0 .99 & Sierra Nevada Drafts from 4-7PM SI.SO PBR or Coors Pints Philly Cheesesleak S7 3-6PM PBR S2.2S Everyday' 52 Kami Shooters BPM-Close S4 leas S3.SO Dbl Wells 1/2 OFF POOL 8-close !Opm S2 Red Bull Party S3 Soccer Moms JAZZ NIGHT- Martini Starters SS Smirnff Blasters Specials S3 All pints SS DBL Roaring Vodka All ages until IOPM S4 Long Island Teas THU
S3 14oz Slushies Hour 11-2PM Daily Happy Hour Mon-Fri 2-6PM 10 oz. Tri-Tip Steak w/ S4 20oz Slushies S2.SO Dom & from 4-7PM Sl.SO PBR or Coors Pints Fries or Salad & Garlic Add shot for SI Sierra Nevada Drafts Full Bar in Back Room 52 Kami Shooters Bread SB.99 5 flavors fo choose from 3-6PM Weds, Fri & Sat Nights! Bpm-Close S4 Jager CABIN FEVER WHISKEY S3.SO Dbl Wells PBR S2.2S Everyday! 1/2 OFF POOL SS DBL Vodka Red Bull PROMO JO-close B-Close All ages until lOPM JO-Close S3 Cabin Fever Cocktails S2 .SO Dom & Sierra Jr Grad Burger w/ fries or
Nevada Drafts salad S3.99 FRI S3 14oz Slushies Open llAM Daily Happy Hour Bartenders Choice Baby Back Ribs with $4 20oz Slushies Bloody Mary Bar from 4-7PM Salad, Fries & garlic Add shot for SI Noon-6PM Full Bar in Back Room Bread SI0.99 5 flavors to choose from SB Dom Pitcher Weds, Fri & Sat Nights ! 9 Ball Tournament. Bpm-Close BACARDI PROMO S9 SN Pitcher PBR S2.2S Everyday' Sign-up at noon . Starts S4 Single/S6 Double 11-close BPM-Close !PM. Jack or Captain S4.50 Dbl Cabin Fever S6.SO DBL calls S2 Sierra Nevada Cocktails All ages until lOPM SS Patron SAT
IOAM-2PM Daily Happy Hour FREE POOL S4.99 Grad, Garden/ SS Bollles of Champagne from 4-7PM I hr. with every SB turkey Burger w/ fries/ with enfree PBR S2.2S Everyday! purchase salad S4.SO Bloody Mary All ages until IOPM SS.SO Absolut Peppar Bloody Marys S3 Well Bloody Marys S4 Call SS Top shelf
S6 Grey Goose SUN
I 12 APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2013 SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
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Happy Hour 11-6PM Go Downlo BEAR-E-OKE OPEN MIC - COMEDY CLOSED Available For Private S2 Marqis CLOSED select bottles & drafts Parties. S3 Cuervo Marqis S2.7S BURGER MADNESS! MUG NIGHT 7-IUO S2.SO Corona's
Bear Burger with fries 40oz beer S2.SO or S3 Make your reservation & Sierra Drafts or salad for SS.29. S4 Peach Tea Lemonade today! Mon-Sat 3PM-6PM Sl llam-!Opm. S2 Coconut Kami Dom draft, S2 SN draft,
S3 CueNo Sunrise SI.SO wells
S2 All Day Go Downlo BEAR WEAR! KARAOKE 9-CLOSE S3 Tea of the Day and S2 2S PBR Progressive Night! S2 Select Sierra Nevada 1/2 off while wearing Bartender Special S2.7S Well & Dom. 8-IOPM SI Sierra Pale or Dom Drafts Bear Wear. S4 Dbl. Cherry Bourbon All day - Every day Ale, Domestics & well 52 Kamis -any fhvor MUG CLUB 4-IOPM and Coke cocktails up lOPM-close
S3 Peach Smirnoff Sex 25¢ per hour-close on the Beach Mon-Sat free pool 6-8PM S3 Chocolate White Russian
All 16 oz Teas or AMF S3 Go Downlo TRIKE RACES! SMASHED SPELLING BEE S3 Tea of the Day S2.2S PBR Buck Night Happy Hour 4-8PM All Day Post time @ !Opm. S3 SO Sky Vodka S2.7S Well & Dom. 8-close SS House Martinis
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Sl WELLS CHAMPAGNE and dom draft SI off Call liquor Sl TEAS up 25C per hour until and bottled beer
dose
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Knightro ON TAP SS Barfendeis Choice SS COVER Screwdriver Bartender Special All day - Every day S2 SN draft, SI.SO wells, Vineyard of Dobbins, CA. Sl Jello Shots S4 Dbl. Gret Hound Power Hour 8-9PM S-7PM 7-IOPM S3 Rumpy, Jager LATE NIGHT EATS' BEAR 52 Gin and Tonic BACARDI PROMO 1/2 off Liquor & Drafts and Fireball BURGER AND FRIES FOR 11-close 9-Close S3 Skyy
ONLY S499! S4.SO Dbl Cabin Fever Cocktails & Pale Ale Mon-Sat !Opm - lam. Cocktails Drafts S9.7S Pale Pitchers
S4 World Famous Bloody Call To Rent For Private BURGER MADNESS! TRIVIA 8PM Champagne Brunch CLOSED CLOSED CLOSED Joe Party Bear Burger with fries IOAM-2PM SS Premium bloody; or salad for SS.29. S2.SO Mimosas/Bloody Happy Hour prices until your choice of vodka Go Downlo llam-!Opm. Mary's or Mariah's 8PM
S2 Watermelon Kami S3 Alabama Slammer
Saturday April 13th 5-7pm featuring: Lucero Vineyards
Come enjoy many locally produced tapas & wines paired to perfection with our
complimentary tastings from local wine makers on Saturdays in February & March.
~- Live classical piano!
VI N EYA R DS
FACEBOOK.COM/CHICOCA • SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2013 13
TOWN& LOUNG&
Black Fong@ BPM
! , ~Iii thursdav S10 champagne bottles DJ2K 9pm-close
dive bar disco fridav
Out ol Nowhere Hard Rock/Metal 9PM
!,~,-.~ saturdav
Three Fingers Whiskev 9PM
I 14 APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2013
WEDNESDAY, APRIL lQTH
8MONDAY The Bear: Bear-E-oke! 9PM. Cafe Flo: Jazz Happy Hour with Carey Robinson Trio. 5-7PM. Followed by Bradley & Lorna with special guests Ben Teitz. 7-9PM. DownLo: Pool League - 3 player teams, sign up with bartender. ?PM. Last Call Lounge: Karaoke. 8PM. Maltese: Open Mic Night -Comedy. Signups @ 8, Starts @ 9. Mug Night 7-11:30PM. Woodstock's: Spelling Bee For the Grown Ups. 6:30-7:30PM.
9TUESDAY lOOth Monkey Cafe & Books: Dreamwork Circle - Share dreams & explore techniques for discovering their secrets. 6:30-8PM. $10. The Bear: Bear Wear! 1/2 off while wearing Bear Wear. Mug Club 4-10 PM. Cafe Flo: Open Mic with Aaron. 7-9PM. Crazy Horse Saloon: Allrequest karaoke. 21 +. DownLo: Game night with DJ DannyK. ?PM The Hub: Hot Chico Salsa - Beg. Int. $8; Beg. II $5; Just Latin
Smashed Spelling Bee
THE MALTESE Did you win the spelling bee back in grade school? Congrats. For all those who lost, you DO realize that there's a lot ofluck involved in this competition, right? Well, if you're feeling lucky this Wednesday, then head down to the Maltese for a spelling bee with a different kind of buzz. Participants must have a drink in hand at all times and are asked to take a swig at random by the moderator. Show up before 9PM to sign up for a chance to win the $25 bar tab prize. First word kicks off at 9:30PM.
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • Dancing $2. LaSalle's: '90's Night. 21 +. Maltese: Karaoke 9PM-Close. Monstro's: The Deep Wile (exmems Hook and the Daggers), TBA. 8PM. $5. All ages. Studio Inn Lounge: Karaoke 8:30PM-1AM. The Tackle Box: Karaoke 9PM. Woodstock's: Trivia Challenge. Call @ 4PM on date to reserve a table. 6:30 PM.
10 WEDNESDAY 1 OOth Monkey Cafe & Books: Open Mic. Singers, songwriters, musicians, vocalists and comedians. All ages welcome. ?PM. The Bear: Trike Races. Wintshirts and Bear Bucks. Post time lOPM. Mug club 4-lOPM. Cafe Flo: Jazz Happy Hour with Carey Robinson Trio. 5-?PM. Followed by Way Out West with the Blue Merles. 7:30-9:30PM. Crazy Horse Saloon: Wild dance lessons, mechanical bull, Crazy Horse Girls, DJ Hot Rod Ent. 8-lOPM. Chico Women's Club: West African Dance with Imelda Mata. Live drumming. 5:30-?PM. $10. Chico Women's Club: Ecstatic Dance. Live music played by the TranceFormation Band. 7: 15-8:30.
THURSDAY, APRIL 11rH
• • • • • • • • • • • • • DownLo: 8 Ball Tournament. Signups 6PM, Starts ?PM. Duffy's: Dance night! DJ Spenny and Jeff Howse. 9PM. Feather Falls Casino: Dance Club. Dress to impress! 9:30PM. $5 cover includes one drink. LaSalle's: Genna & Jesse, The Rugs. 9PM. $3. Maltese: Smashed Spelling Bee. 8PM. Tackle Box: Beginner Swing Dancing Lessons. 7-9PM. Towne Lounge: Black Fong. 9PM. VIP Ultra Lounge (Inside The Beach): Laurie Dana. 7-9PM. Woodstock's: Trivia Night plus Happy Hour. Call @ 4PM on date to reserve a table. 8PM.
11 THURSDAY Butte Creek Country Club: Chico Guild Fundraiser "Scholarship Fanfare Plus" - Benefits North State Symphony. Fine dining, raffle, silent auction, and fine music. 6-lOPM. $75/$30. Cafe Coda: Cammies In die/ Experimental Showcase: Clouds on Strings, French Reform, Pageant Dads, & West by Swan. 8PM. $5. Cafe Flo: Improv Jam - Workshop with Michael 5-7PM. Followed by Blues Unplugged.
The Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain LAXSON AUDITORIUM The Ukulele Orchestra is more than just a musical spectacle. They're also pretty hilarious. The group has a classic, aloof Monty Python-esque stage presence that takes their entertainment to the next level. The group features eight ukulele players with a bit of guitar thrown in to ground the sonic experience with some lower-frequency tones. Some of the cover songs they're likely to hit in the performance include Stevie Wonder's "For Once In My Life" as well as "Pinball Wizard" by The Who. The performance begins at 7:30PM with tickets running at $27 for adults and $18 for kids. • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
7-lOPM. DownLo: Chico Jazz Collective every Thursday. 8PM. Downtown Chico: Thursday Night Market: ReBellyon, Rewind, Chuck's Place, Wayne Houchin. 6-9PM. Graduate: Red Bull Movie Night. lOPM. Grana: Live Jazz w/ John Seid 5:30-8:30PM. Has Beans: Open Mic Night. 7-lOPM. Sign-ups start@ 6PM. Lakeview Restaurant (Oroville): Carey Robinson Jazz. 6-9PM. LaSalle's: Cammies Americana/ Country Showcase: The Blue Merles, Broken Rodeo, Gordy Ohliger, Low Flying Birds, & Three Fingers Whiskey. 5:30PM. FREE. Laxson Auditorium: The Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain - Taking the Uke Where it Has Never Gone. 7:30PM. $32/$27 /$25/$18. Lost On Main: Cammies World/ Celtic/Reggae Showcase: Dylan's Dharma, Ha'Penny Bridge, Los Caballitos de La Candon , & Soul Union. 9PM. $5. Followed by Dancehall featuring Ease Up & AZ redsmoke. $2. Maltese: Karaoke 9PM-Close. Panama's: Eclectic NightsBuck Night & DJ Eclectic
SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
FRIDAY, APRIL 12rH
Poetry Reading THE BOOKSTORE In celebration of National Poetry Month, The Bookstore will be hosting a poetry reading this Friday. The event will feature the talents of several local poets including Bob Garner, who will also be hosting the night's festivities. If you're looking for a cozy, mellow night out on the town, then this is the place to be. The reading begins at 6:30PM and refreshments will be served. Bring the kids. Bring grandma. Bring a pad of paper and a pen, for you're likely to be inspired.
FRIDAY, APRIL 12rH
Ray Ku rzweil LAXSON AUDITORIUM With the current exponential trends in technology, what will the future look like? Ray Kurzweil predicts the future by looking at the past. He recalls, "When I was a student at MIT, we all shared a computer that took up half a building .. .it cost tens of millions of dollars. The computer in your cell phone today is a million times cheaper and a thousand times more powerful. That's a billion-fold increase:' Come see him lay out his vision for the future at 7 :30PM this Friday. Tickets are $27 for adults and $ 18 for kids.
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • spinning favorites of today and yesterday on the patio. 9PM. Quackers: Karaoke Night with Andy. 9PM-1AM. Towne Lounge: Dive Bar Disco. 9PM. $1. VIP Ultra Lounge: Acoustic Performance w/ Bradley Relf. 7-9PM. No cover.
12 FRIDAY 1 OOth Monkey Cafe & Books: Writing Group - Write, & share. 3:30-5PM. The Beach: DJ 2K & Mack Morris. 9PM-close. $2, $10 VIP. Cafe Coda: Cammies Jazz Showcase: Bogg, Chico Jazz Collective, Christine LaPado-Breglia Trio, Eric Peter, & First Monday Jazz Series. 7PM. $5. Cafe Flo: Flo Sessions: Zombie Kitten, Natt Pendry & Mathew Strife. 7-lOPM. Chico Theater Company: Wayne Houchin "INSANITY" -Street magic. 7:30PM. Adult $15, Child $10. DownLo: Cammies Rock Showcase: Furlough Fridays, The Hambones. 6PM. $5. Cammies Funk/Jam Showcase: Alli Battaglia & The Musical Brewing Co., Black Fong, Gravybrain, Jeff Pershing Band, & Swamp Zen. 8PM. $5.
Duffy's: Pub Scouts. 4-7PM. El Rey Theatre: Aaron Carter w/ Chrystian. Doors 8PM, Show 8:30PM. $15 adv, $18 door. Kelly's Tavern (Oroville): Karaoke with Mora Sounds. 7-1 lPM. LaSalle's: Chico Scene Presents The Rave Scene. 8PM. Lakeview Restaurant (Oroville): Carey Robinson Jazz. 6-9PM. Laxson Auditorium: Ray Kurzweil - Author, Scientist, Inventor, & Futurist. 7:30PM. $32/$27 /$25/$18. Lost On Main: Cammies Rap Showcase: Big Slim, Lynguistix, Resonators, TyBox. 8PM. $5. Followed by Fever Fridays with DJ Marvel. Dress to impress! Maltese: Fabulous Friday LGBTQA +Dance Party. 9PM. Peeking: Cammies Electronic Showcase: Billy the Robot, A.LO., Simple Science, Eyere Eyes, & DJ Becca. 9:30PM.$2 before lOPM, $3 after $10PM. Quackers: Live DJ. 9PM. T-Bar: Live music 7-8:30PM. Tackle Box: Live music w/ Terra Bella (formerly Chaparral). 9PM. Tortilla Flats: Latin Nights. Espanol & English DJ dancing with DJ (El, Kora) de Chico. Towne Lounge: Out of Nowhere
- Hard Rock/Metal. 9PM.
13SATURDAY 1 OOth Monkey Cafe & Books: Knitting Circle. 2-4PM. Cafe Coda: Cammies Hard Rock/ Metal Showcase: Cold Blue Mountain, A Holy Ghost Revival, Into the Open Earth, & Teeph. 8PM. $5. Cafe Flo: Bryan Anthony Phoenix, Sandra Dolores, & Mandolin May. 7- lOPM. Cal Skate: Adults Only Skate Night. 9-11:30PM. $6. 18+ Chico Theater Company: Wayne Houchin "INSANITY" -Street magic. 7:30PM. Adult $15, Child $10. DownLo: Cammies Blues Showcase: Big Mo & The Full Moon Band, Second Hand Smoke. 9PM. $5. Farwood Bar & Grill (Orland): Live music with Jeff King -Rock/Pop. 8:30-10:30PM. Harlen Adams Theatre: Catfish Row - Concert version of Porgy & Bess. 7:30PM. $15/$13/$6. LaSalle's: 1980NOW! 8PM. Lost On Main: Harvestival Entertainment Presents - Dead Winter Carpenters (Roots Americana Rock), Lonesome Locomotive, plus On the Bus Lighting Production. $10. Maltese: Maltese: Cammies Folk/ Acoustic Showcase: Aubrey
FACEBOOK.COM/CHICOCA • SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
Debauchery, Bunnymilk, En-velope Peasant & the Scientific Orchestra, Evin Wolverton, Fera, John Paul Gutierrez, Kyle Williams, Lish Bills, MaMuse, Pat Hull, & The Railflowers. 3:30PM. FREE Monstros: Cammies Punk Showcase: Icko Sicko, Badger, The Oisters, Impulse, Nothing Left, Zabaleen, The Pushers, Fight Music, Born Into This, Brass Hysteria, Season of the Witch, Big Tree Fall Down, Michellin Embers, Frankie Dop-pler's Nuclear Sunrise, Mom & Dad, & Master Lady. 7PM. $5. Quackers: Live DJ. 8:30PM-1AM. No cover. Tackle Box: Live music with Chris Gardner (California's# 1 Country Band). 9PM. Towne Lounge: Three Fingers Whiskey. 9PM.
14SUNDAY Crazy Horse Saloon: Sunday Fun day. LaSalle's: Karaoke. 8PM. Maltese: Live Jazz with Bogg. Followed by Trivia 8PM. Senator Theatre: The Expendables. Doors 6:30PM, Show 7:30PM. $15 adv., $18 door. The Tackle Box: Karaoke with DJ Shelley. 8PM.
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APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2013 ts I
OFF MY LAWN! Jaime O'Neill [email protected]
Bullshit Left, Bullshit Right In Santa Cruz, where self-styled intellectuals cluster when they want to give up thinking and simply embrace whatever fashionable substitutes for thinking are in the air, a local club owner recently canceled an appearance by singer/songwriter, Michelle Shocked. Ms. Shocked, who has a long history of political activism, previously had made a comment that offended the gay community. Bill Welch, the aforementioned Santa Cruz club owner, cancelled her upcom-ing gig at his joint, saying, "We will not be bashing Michelle Shocked. Rather, we will celebrate
don't automatically "celebrate'' whenever the word "diversity" is uttered? You must be a bigot. You don't snap to attention when someone says "liberty"? Surely you must be a godless communist.
Then there's that "healing" bullshit, a word employed with little thought, and even less
meaning. Here, Mr. Welch uses it to proclaim how swaddled in psychic health the entire Santa Cruz community is while extending a passive-aggressive swipe of his hand to the woman he wishes to diss, condescending to her with his ever-so
music, diversity, and send some healing Santa Cruz energy herwaY:'
Don't you just hate that? I do. It is so selfrighteous, so deeply offensive to thought.
"Implicit in those words
is a smug moral superior
ity that puts all of its con
structs beyond question
kind healing "energy:'
You can hear this crap most any day right here in Chico. You can hear it on KZFR, where the good "us" is or criticism."
Implicit in those words is a smug moral superiority that puts all of its constructs beyond question or criticism. George Orwell once cautioned us to be wary of abstract language. When words stray far from the concrete, when they do not evoke tangible images, when they demand unthinking assent, someone is choosing those words to manipulate or obfuscate. On the left wing of the political spectrum, the word "diversity" is the equivalent of the way words like "patriotism'' or "liberty" get tossed around on the right. These are concepts beyond question, though they can cover a wide range of meaning. Words like these are bludgeons. What, you
I t6 APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2013
opposed to the unhealthy
"them;' expressed in the lexicon of clubby group speak like "sustainability;' "multiculturalism;' or "critical thinking:' Over on KPAY, you hear the reverse side of that coin, with the word "real" used to modify the word "American;' the word "liberal" as shorthand for "bad;' and the word "urban'' employed as a euphemism for "black:'
Bullshit to the left; bullshit to the right. But it's thought-denying bullshit no matter the direction it's coming from.
HOWL [email protected]
Wellspring Of Gaming I got turned on to this DIYvideogame at the office this week called Ballpoint Universe. The totally awesome, spacious, and subtle soundtrack was composed by Nicholas Minniti, a 2008 Chico State Graduate with a degree in Music Industry & Technology.
Ballpoint Universe is one part sidescroller platform game, most other parts sidescrolling space shooter. You walk around talking to villagers and learning the lore of the game until you find a villager with a mission. Then it's up into your spaceship to shoot down hella bad guys.
The real point of this game lies within the title; every single thing you see in the game has been hand-drawn with ballpoint pen on white lined paper, cut out, and then scanned into the computer. I know it sounds kind of cool, but when you're actually in the world moving around you realize it's REALLY fucking cool. It's a huge, fun, pop-up book stretch-ing backward and forward, up and down in three dimensions, with every paper-thin piece of scenery swaying gently in the virtual breeze.
The bulk of the game is in the space-shooter levels, which I found super hard. However, after a couple of hours playing I got way better, and the levels revealed even more artistic genius.
There's a forest level filled with floating tree saplings (that will kill you), cute owls (that will kill you), and tree saplings with guns. You gotta watch out for those ones, 'cause they'll try to kill you. There's a ruined castle level where huge hand-drawn chunks of castle form a floating, rotating maze for you
to navigate while ships with guns try to kill you.
Nearly every space shooter mission has a cool, paper-cutout boss with multiple moving paper parts for you to shoot at. Some of them are stupid hard, flying in hella fast from the edge of the screen to slice your paper starship with a huge paper sword. Other bosses are much more relaxed about you shooting at them; I think those were just made to be looked at.
The spaceship is its own ever-changing creation. The more you explore and the more shit you destroy, the more modifications you add to your ship. In the beginning you fly a modest pyramid-shaped thing with
little paper triangles floating around it serving as wings. As the gaming hours add up, your ship becomes a strange and beauti-ful origami destroyer.
This game is a wellspring of inspiration and creativ-ity, and it's
quite addictive. I'm not sure if it's officially out yet or not, but the free demo is at bp.donthackmywebsite.com. The link is safe, I promise.
Howl is a biweekly arts primer whose intention is to showcase the artists of our wonderful area. Email me with information about your project (all media welcome!), and you'll get published.
Photo grabbed from www.arachnidgames. com/blog/
SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
PEDAL PUSHERS Erica Noel [email protected]
Dear Automobile Drivers Bless your hearts.
Now I can say whatever I want and you can't
be offended because I have blessed your poor, black, smog-filled, gasoline-reliant hearts.
I'm not sure how most of you passed your driving tests. I mean really, are you kidding
me? Let me break something down for you:
The gas pedal is on the right, the brakes
are on the left. NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. Side view mirrors are to be used,
they aren't just for decoration.
You drivers might be wondering why I am
writing to you, this being a cycling column
after all. I am directing this week's column to
you because nearly every time I ride my bike through downtown, I am almost killed. No,
its not because I have terrible cycling skills.
It's because all of you trying to find a parking
spot or leaving one seem to have tunnel vision
and I happen to fall just outside of that tunnel.
Your parking emergency should not send me
to the emergency room. I ride in the right lane
because that's where I am supposed to ride,
but even sharing that side of the road is getting
treacherous.
This week, I was talking with a friend who
has a child attending Chico Junior High.
While picking up her son, she witnessed the
aftermath of a hit-and-run. A confused cyclist and his friends tried, in vain, to make sense
of the situation. The car who hit him not only
drove off without taking responsibility, but also
royally fucked up his bike. This was outside a
school. Kids bike along our streets every day. In
her three years as a Chico resident, my friend has seen four hit-and-runs. Her son's best
friend had his leg broken by an errant driver.
It's time you cars start slowing down and take a
minute to realize that you are sharing the road with adults and children alike; all of whom are
trying to get from point A to point B in one
piece.
I have witnessed three car/bike accidents in
the past year and all three times the cyclists
were obeying traffic laws. I know way too many
people who have sustained major injuries from bad drivers right here in "silver-rated" Chico.
What would Ed have thought of this?
It's time this business stops.
We cyclists are just trying to get to work, enjoy the weather, run errands, make it to class on
time and - what's that other thing? Oh yeah,
do something good for the environment. It may sound cheesy, but that's the thing - we are
kind of a cheesy bunch. We are lovers oflife,
enjoyers of this amazing planet, pedal-pushing, planet-saving, bike-lane-loving, wind-in-our
hair enjoying folks, and we just want to do the
thing we love safely. While you are fighting
traffic, we are taking in the scenery. And yeah, sometimes we think we're better than those of
you stuck in your death traps, but that doesn't
mean you need to try and kill us. I'm over it.
Drive better, or I'm going to start taking a cue from "Premium Rush" and my chain will not
only lock up my bike, but will also double as a
weapon of mass destruction directed at your
side view mirrors. I mean, it seems like you
aren't using them anyway.
•
SHARE THE
ROAD
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APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2013 11 I
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STREET STYLE
What do you do for a living? I actually have five jobs. I am a custom jeweler working mainly with met-als I am a longarm machine quilter, a certified Doula, a photographer and a childcare provider. But I still find time to do my favorite thing, which is to travel the world.
Tell me something fun/interesting/ horrifying. I saw first-hand the awakening of freedom in Romania at the age of 16.
I went through an 8.0 earthquake in 2007, while in Peru. I've eaten dried worms in a hut in South Africa. I was snowed in for 36 hrs at the Amsterdam airport. An all time favorite was when I backpacked through Italy, England and France with my camera. Most sobering was when I walked the beaches of Normandy and cried with gratefulness for the sacrifices that were made by those who fought for freedom.
by Jen Cartier
SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
Reutews-The Next Day David Bowie
The Next Day Columbia by Guy Starvist
There's no pretense of innovation on David Bowie's newest album - his first in over ten years. He even recycled the cover from 1977 's Heroes. The title track, a defiant rocker that kicks off the record, could be a Heroes outtake with its mimicked Brian Eno production and echoes of Robert Fripp's signature guitar. The rest of the album might just as well be from the '80s, either as radio-friendly singles or as the soundtrack to a more sinister version of Labyrinth. However, this void of originality is refreshing. Bowie's long been one of music's premier innovators, but here he sounds like he's having fun - a lot of fun - and it's contagious. He delivers plenty of catchy songs with daring arrangements, strange noises, and of course some epic saxophone action. He still croons, at times nonsensically, like the vampiric Romeo or Goblin King we know him as.
Some bits may seem cheesy and/or boring at first (like a lot of the ' 80s and most of the ' 90s music he put out), but after a few listens they're all memorable. Overall, The Next Day is satisfying for how simple and unashamed it is. It doesn't come off as an aging rock star desperately try-ing to hang onto fame. There's no sense that he 's mocking himself, nor trying to cash in on his legacy. Every track feels natural and honest, and those are two qualities that always work for any artist.
BIV & the Mnemonics The Place Self-Released by Jeremy Gerrard
Masterful songwriting comes natural to BIV & the Mnemonics. The Pace is precious evidence. Like its predecessor The Blue Orange, each track proves that widely accessible music need not be stripped of innovation. It ' ll take longer than it should for the country to realize it, but The Pace rejuvenates the predictable genre of Americana. It's hard to say how, but it does. Maybe it's the serenely atmospheric harmonies. Maybe it 's the unpredictable segues. Perhaps it's their chord progressions, which somehow achieve melodies without the aid of individual notes. Maybe it's the countryfied blues licks that float on the backs of those progressions. And of course there's the lyrics-so genuine they make you feel like a coward.
The second track, "Critically Cool," showcases everything mentioned above. "Rolling Deep into the Backwoods" follows with an infectious two-chord progression and a suspenseful backbeat that smoothly erupts into full swing, complete with celebratory horn lines and velvety harmonies. "Manifest Destiny" combines a foreboding verse with raucous choruses and bridges. After a strong pair of folk-y tunes, "Rella" breaks through, culminating in an outro that sounds like a more inventively arranged "While My Guitar Gently Weeps." The closer to the 47-minute LP is "Long Arm of the Law." If you had a beer, laid down in a field, and the clouds started waltzing, that 's what they'd be dancing to. This all makes for a truly impressive record, but its best facet is certainly the pace. It's worth your time to see what I mean.
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APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2013 19
20 APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2013
SCENE REPORT by David Neuschatz • photos by Nik Burman
Dash Rip Rock , Wed. April 3 @ La Salles
My Wednesday night was bittersweet. The Synthesizers - the Synthesis softball team - took their second loss in a row, and in doing so caused me to miss The Hambones. As I hastily walked through the door they were packing up, and I couldn't help but feel an emptiness in my gut. Luckily, some New Orleans alt-country/rock legends took the stage no more than 15 minutes later. The power trio Dash Rip Rock took hold of the crowd with their humorous brand of straightforward, white-knuckle delta-rock.
The selfproclaimed (with tougue firmly planted in cheek) "fastest band in the world," is fearlessly lead by the sardonic balladeer Bill "Master of Disaster on the Telecaster" Davis. At one point during the middle of a song, David pulled out a second guitar - dubbed "the Alliga-tar" for it 's gator skin - and used it to play slide on his telecaster. It was the most innovative guitar styling I'd seen since Jeremy Gerrard hopped on Byron Dunning 's shoulders midsong during the Amblers performance at the 1078 Gallery, creating the tallest musician in the world who proceeded to have dueling guitar solos with itself.
Dash Rip Rock are touring in support of their 18th LP, Black Liquor. They played a few tracks from the new album such as "Beck Moi Tchew," a Cajun cussword-laden tune whose title translates to "bite my ass." A couple great tracks that got a particularly lively, leather-clad older couple on the bar 's parquet dance floor were "Pussywhipped" and "Leave Me Alone to My Bottle." DRR
broke into barbershop harmonies twice, which was a welcomed deviation from the path of melted faces left in their wake. Another song titled "Let 's All Smoke Some Pot" played to the tune of Danny and the Juniors ' "At the Hop," apparently garnered them significant radio play in the ' 90s. The subject matter of their songs usually pertained to the seedy underbelly of Louisiana culture, including topics such as women, booze,
and New Orleans. But what else would you expect from the only band to purportedly have been showcased at SXSW every year since the festival 's commencement.
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Cinderella: Act I Scene II by Kenny "Squints" Kelly
The Synthesis softball team, The Synthesizers, took a 12-6 loss last Wednesday at the hands of Ump Yours.
Though winless, our confidence remains steadfast. No underdog story begins with the ragtag bunch mopping the floor with their opponents. How compelling would it be if Cinderella put on the glass slipper in Act I, Scene II? No, Cinderella's gotta mop some actual floors, scrub
some toilets, and scrape some bunions off her sister's disgusting feet first.
Centerfielder, David "Maverick" N euschatz didn't let a few dropped fly balls get him down. In the late innings, he toughened up and caught the shit out of a ball blasted to deep center. Although the batter was automatically out on a rule violation, Maverick still danced like Cinderella at the ball.
ADOPT ME! Finnegan loves peo
ple even more than
he loves tennis balls,
so come down and
let him wiggle his way
into your heart!
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NOW HEAR THIS! STAFF PICKS
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Kathy ''Some Days Are Better Than Others" - Matthew Cooper
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ARIES Wednesday morning features the new moon in Aries. What would you like to do that you've never
done before? Are you honoring the things that have been on your heart? Most Aries move on impulse. It would be wise to plan a strategy that looks further into the future. The Venus and Mars con
junction in Aries is good for falling in love or exploring a new person romantically. Mercury enters Aries Saturday night, prompting quick thinking and clearer com
munication.
TAURUS Pay attention to personal karma What has been hidden in secret will eventually be made known. Your secrets have your attention. It's important to be careful not to be a part of your own undoing. Prayer is one of the best ways to negotiate your current 12 house transits. On the lighter side, you may enjoy the pleasures of the bed more. Take time to get enough sleep. Help other people who are isolated in some way. The moon will be in Taurus Wednesday night
until daybreak Saturday.
GEMINI The week begins socially active for you. You'll know who your real friends are by Wednesday. Prepare for the future. Get together with progressively-minded people. Find a way to create new solutions. Thinking beyond the grid and finding new sources of energy is crucial. You have greater good fortune and a willingness to help change things for the better. Saturday and Sunday feature the moon in Gemini. You should be at
the top of your game.
CANCER You are the commander, the captain, the general, the boss, the
leader, and the responsible party. You enjoy working with a positive emotional flow. You are an expert on instilling good feelings. Compliments, gifts, and rewards are some of your tools for motivation. Thursday and Friday are your best days for going out and socializing. Otherwise this is a time to keep your nose to the grindstone, focus on work and career, and
make things happen.
LEO Forgive others for a longer life. Develop a more philosophical approach to your problems. Good fortune is all around you. You are able to help others become wealthy too. Pay attention to your studies. Mark each and every experience as important. Try different routes when going to a familiar place or pick a new destination. The new moon will make you luckier and happier. Take courage and be confident. When the purpose is unselfish love, how can there be any mistakes?
VIRGO Good things come from places and people that we might not necessarily want to relate to. Keeping a clear, non-judgmental mind will allow you the most opportunities for joyful discoveries. There is often sadness or anger when we need to let go of something or someone that weve been attached to. The new moon rules mysteries, transformation, and telepathic thoughts. It also rules an awakened libido, births, and deaths.
Give up something to get something better.
LIBRA You are conscious of your own potential. You are having trouble deciding whether you should move forward or back off. Love is infinite and love is work If you are afraid of work, you are afraid of love. Romance and infatuation are mostly temporary states. Even in good partnerships, it's easy to settle into routine. The new moon rules marriage, engagements, contracts, and open enemies. Yes, it's unfortunately true that even though you are nice, not everyone sees you that way.
SCORPIO Get organized Get rid of things. Learn to simplify and do things more efficiently. The freedom you do have is not to be taken for granted. Smile more often and you may attract some new friends. Be ready and able to help others with a charitable cause. Take care of your health by drinking more water and by getting enough sleep. The new moon rules small pets, uncles and aunts, and finding a way to make the life of the community flow more smoothly.
SAGITTARIUS Living large seems to be your specialty these days. You're in the mood for celebrations of any kind. There is a sense of enthusi
asm in the air. Fire signs feed and bask in the light and activities of other fire signs. There is a sense of spontaneity as well as a contagious enthusiasm. The new moon rules creative expression, children, fathers, and being the class clown. It's good to be generous with your wealth and spread the joy to others.
CAPRICORN Family and domestic issues are at the top of your agenda. Pay attention to memories and your personal history. Parents are confronted with a number of new issues and situations with every generation. It's best not to criticize others for not having the proper information. Teaching and learning both require patience. The new moon rules your heritage, parents, grandparents, and your foundation for living. Thursday and Friday look joyful and cre
ative.
AQUARIUS Stay on your toes and be aware. You have a lot of information to digest during this period Pay attention to all forms of commu
nication. This may also be a time where you consider going back to school. Look up siblings, cousins, and friends that you grew up with. The new moon rules being a bigger part of your local environment, learning to be a better neighbor, and being able to travel at the drop of a hat. It's also a good time to develop talents that involve working with your hands.
PISCES You can't serve two masters -
God and money. Addiction to materialism is the downfall of Western culture. Anything that makes us want to separate rather than unite may need to come under question. You need a good foundation for positive living and good relationships. The money will come. Sometimes you need to be generous or give a little away to a charitable cause first. Sing spiritual songs. Compliment others and take care of a sore throat or neck ache.
Koz McKev is on You Tube, on cable 11 BCTV, is heard on 90.lFM KZFR Chico, and also available by appointment for personal horoscopes. Call (530)891-5147 or e-mail [email protected]
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