the.big.bang.theory.s06e20.hdtv.x264 lol

7/28/2019 The.big.Bang.theory.S06E20.HDTV.x264 LOL

1/32

100:00:02,484 --> 00:00:05,286I was reading about thisjellyfish that never dies.

200:00:05,287 --> 00:00:07,155Instead, it revertsto its asexual state

300:00:07,157 --> 00:00:08,706and then grows up again.

400:00:08,708 --> 00:00:10,575We thought my 90-year-oldgrandfather had reverted

500:00:10,577 --> 00:00:12,326to an asexual state,but the lawsuit

600:00:12,328 --> 00:00:15,696from his Jamaican caregiverproved us all wrong.

700:00:15,698 --> 00:00:17,965My point is, immortality is not

800:00:17,967 --> 00:00:19,700only a possibility, it is real.

900:00:19,702 --> 00:00:22,003Only if you're thisjellyfish which periodically

1000:00:22,005 --> 00:00:25,173reverts to a mass ofundifferentiated protoplasm.

1100:00:25,175 --> 00:00:26,757If I could keep

my Gmail account,

1200:00:26,759 --> 00:00:28,810I'd be okay with that.

1300:00:29,895 --> 00:00:31,813- Hello, fellas.- Hey.


2/32

1400:00:31,815 --> 00:00:34,265Remember when we were tryingto figure out what that smell

1500:00:34,267 --> 00:00:36,050coming from ProfessorTupperman's office was?

1600:00:36,052 --> 00:00:37,051Yeah?

1700:00:37,053 --> 00:00:39,437Turns out it was Tupperman.

1800:00:40,689 --> 00:00:42,490Dead at his desk for two weeks.

19

00:00:43,391 --> 00:00:44,609Oh, my God.That's terrible.

2000:00:44,611 --> 00:00:46,560In lieu of flowers,the department chair

2100:00:46,562 --> 00:00:50,581is asking that everyone donatea bottle of Febreze.

2200:00:51,733 --> 00:00:53,751If we're going to changethe topic from jellyfish,

2300:00:53,753 --> 00:00:55,286I'd be okay with brine shrimp

2400:00:55,288 --> 00:00:57,538or the history of the unicycle.

2500:00:58,373 --> 00:01:01,042Show a little compassion--a man died.

2600:01:01,044 --> 00:01:02,910And turned into a puddle of goo.


3/32

2700:01:02,912 --> 00:01:04,345Now, we can either

2800:01:04,347 --> 00:01:07,849sit around and cryover spilt professor, or...

2900:01:07,851 --> 00:01:09,684we can rejoice in the knowledge

3000:01:09,686 --> 00:01:12,386that a tenured positionhas just opened up.

3100:01:12,388 --> 00:01:13,437I choose to do

3200:01:13,439 --> 00:01:15,473

the latter.

3300:01:15,475 --> 00:01:18,759Excuse me, the whole tenuresystem is ridiculous.

3400:01:18,761 --> 00:01:20,111A guaranteed job for life

3500:01:20,113 --> 00:01:22,697

only encourages the facultyto become complacent.

3600:01:22,699 --> 00:01:24,031If we reallywant science

3700:01:24,033 --> 00:01:25,950to advance, people should have

38

00:01:25,952 --> 00:01:28,069chips implanted in their skulls

3900:01:28,071 --> 00:01:31,405that explode when they saysomething stupid.

4000:01:33,041 --> 00:01:34,942


4/32

Well, I believe peopledo their best work

4100:01:34,944 --> 00:01:36,961when they feelsafe and secure.

4200:01:41,667 --> 00:01:43,968If you need my nose,you'll find it firmly lodged

4300:01:43,970 --> 00:01:46,954up the rectum of thetenure committee.

4400:01:48,006 --> 00:01:50,725You Ph.D's gonna gosuck up like Kripke?

45

00:01:50,727 --> 00:01:51,759No.

4600:01:51,761 --> 00:01:52,927I mean, I'll apply,

4700:01:52,929 --> 00:01:55,263but I'm not gonna stoopto playing politics.

48

00:01:55,265 --> 00:01:57,265Yeah, me neither.It should be about the work.

4900:01:57,267 --> 00:01:58,399And if I can't get tenure,

5000:01:58,401 --> 00:02:00,484I'd like to see youor Sheldon get it.

5100:02:00,486 --> 00:02:02,436Raj, don't danglefalse hope

5200:02:02,438 --> 00:02:04,906in front of Leonard like that.

53


5/32

00:02:04,908 --> 00:02:06,640Excuse me, but I think I'm

5400:02:06,642 --> 00:02:08,576just as qualified as you are.

5500:02:12,581 --> 00:02:16,167 Our whole universewas in a hot, dense state

5600:02:16,169 --> 00:02:19,503 Then nearly 14 billion yearsago expansion started... Wait!

5700:02:19,505 --> 00:02:21,155 The Earth began to cool

5800:02:21,157 --> 00:02:23,674 The autotrophs began to drool,

Neanderthals developed tools

5900:02:23,676 --> 00:02:26,360 We built the Wall We built the pyramids

6000:02:26,362 --> 00:02:29,030 Math, Science, History,unraveling the mystery

61

00:02:29,032 --> 00:02:30,932 That all startedwith a big bang

6200:02:30,934 --> 00:02:32,883 Bang!

6300:02:32,908 --> 00:02:36,908 The Big Bang Theory 6x20 The Closet ReconfigurationOriginal Air Date on April 4, 2013

6400:02:36,933 --> 00:02:41,933== sync, corrected by elderman ==

6500:02:41,989 --> 00:02:44,459So "tenured" meansa job for life?


6/32

6600:02:44,460 --> 00:02:46,076Yup.And you can't get fired

6700:02:46,078 --> 00:02:47,078even if you're bad at it?

6800:02:47,079 --> 00:02:48,546Mm, not really.

6900:02:48,548 --> 00:02:50,965Wow, sounds a lot like beinga pretty waitress

7000:02:50,967 --> 00:02:52,750at the Cheesecake Factory.

7100:02:54,035 --> 00:02:56,921

While I disagreewith the premise of tenure,

7200:02:56,923 --> 00:02:58,205if they gave it to me,

7300:02:58,207 --> 00:02:59,840it wouldn't diminish my output.

7400:02:59,842 --> 00:03:01,809

You know, I'm like the sun.

7500:03:01,811 --> 00:03:04,011Can't turn this off.

7600:03:05,146 --> 00:03:08,732Are Rajesh and Leonardcompeting for it as well?

7700:03:08,734 --> 00:03:09,883

Mm-hmm.

7800:03:09,885 --> 00:03:11,569Do they know theydon't stand a chance

7900:03:11,571 --> 00:03:13,037'cause you're so great?


7/32

8000:03:13,039 --> 00:03:15,139Well put.

8100:03:16,074 --> 00:03:18,158You know, I must sayI go back and forth

8200:03:18,160 --> 00:03:19,944on this boyfriend-girlfriendthing, but those moments

8300:03:19,946 --> 00:03:22,780when you worship mereally keep you in the running.

8400:03:26,401 --> 00:03:28,335It would be nice to havethe increased income.

8500:03:28,337 --> 00:03:29,837Stop taking moneyfrom my parents.

8600:03:29,839 --> 00:03:32,756Money from family does comewith strings attached.

8700:03:32,758 --> 00:03:34,708

You have no idea.

8800:03:34,710 --> 00:03:37,378They buy me a new BMWfor my birthday

8900:03:37,380 --> 00:03:39,096but can I get seat warmers?

9000:03:39,098 --> 00:03:40,798

No.

9100:03:41,616 --> 00:03:42,933"Rajesh, if youwant a warm butt,

9200:03:42,935 --> 00:03:44,251you're gonna have


8/32

to pay for it yourself."

9300:03:44,253 --> 00:03:46,186Well, maybe I will, old man!

9400:03:49,307 --> 00:03:53,477I think that'senough wine for now.

9500:03:53,479 --> 00:03:55,362I just keep thinkingabout how cool it would be

9600:03:55,364 --> 00:03:56,997if I called my mom and told her

9700:03:56,999 --> 00:03:59,149that I got tenure at Caltech.

9800:03:59,151 --> 00:04:00,367She'd be proud, huh?

9900:04:00,369 --> 00:04:01,435Oh, very.

10000:04:01,437 --> 00:04:03,937Assuming she takes my call.

101

00:04:05,206 --> 00:04:08,309My primary concernwith being granted tenure

10200:04:08,311 --> 00:04:11,512is living with an insanelyjealous roommate after the fact.

10300:04:11,514 --> 00:04:14,248I might need to sleepwith a gun under my pillow.

10400:04:14,250 --> 00:04:16,800Or a chainsaw.

10500:04:16,802 --> 00:04:20,220Or you take advantage of yournewfound economic stability


9/32

10600:04:20,222 --> 00:04:21,472and move out...

10700:04:21,474 --> 00:04:23,290buy a house...

10800:04:23,292 --> 00:04:24,958get married...

10900:04:24,960 --> 00:04:27,461start a family.

11000:04:28,296 --> 00:04:29,763Yeah, or...

11100:04:29,765 --> 00:04:31,899the chainsaw.

11200:04:34,019 --> 00:04:36,854And I will returnto New Delhi in triumph

11300:04:36,856 --> 00:04:39,940atop a bejeweled white elephant!

11400:04:39,942 --> 00:04:42,326And you knowwhat will be

11500:04:42,328 --> 00:04:43,360on that elephant's back?

11600:04:43,362 --> 00:04:45,479A seat warmer.

11700:04:46,731 --> 00:04:50,668"No, Father, you may nothave a ride!"

11800:04:51,819 --> 00:04:53,454I'm gonna make some coffee.

11900:04:55,573 --> 00:04:57,908So, who do you have to schmoozeto get this deal?


10/32

12000:04:57,910 --> 00:04:59,543I'm not gonna schmooze anybody.

12100:04:59,545 --> 00:05:01,462I'm gonna let my workspeak for itself.

12200:05:01,464 --> 00:05:02,630That's great.

12300:05:02,632 --> 00:05:04,098That shows a lot of integrity.

12400:05:04,100 --> 00:05:06,133Thank you.

12500:05:06,135 --> 00:05:08,552I'm a naive idiot, right?

12600:05:08,554 --> 00:05:10,804Oh, good, you heard me.

12700:05:11,806 --> 00:05:13,223You know, if youreally want tenure,

12800:05:13,225 --> 00:05:15,609maybe you should cozy up to

the people making the decision.

12900:05:15,611 --> 00:05:18,729Sheldon Cooperdoes not do "cozy."

13000:05:18,731 --> 00:05:22,316You don't say.

13100:05:22,318 --> 00:05:24,034

But I supposeit wouldn't hurt

13200:05:24,036 --> 00:05:25,653to know who'son the committee.

13300:05:25,655 --> 00:05:27,187


11/32

Let's see...

13400:05:27,189 --> 00:05:29,022Oh, Janine Davis.

13500:05:29,024 --> 00:05:30,190Oh, dear.

13600:05:30,192 --> 00:05:31,825Is that a problem?

13700:05:31,827 --> 00:05:34,161Well...

13800:05:34,163 --> 00:05:35,245Yeah, even you.

13900:05:35,247 --> 00:05:36,880

You're a slave.

14000:05:40,502 --> 00:05:42,870I'm a what?

14100:05:44,439 --> 00:05:47,474I'm not sure;it could go either way.

14200:05:57,051 --> 00:05:59,720

Hey. Mrs. Davis.

14300:05:59,722 --> 00:06:00,654Hey.Hey.

14400:06:00,656 --> 00:06:03,190Dr. Hofstadter.Yeah.

145

00:06:03,192 --> 00:06:05,109Just thought I'd come downand start getting ready

14600:06:05,111 --> 00:06:06,276for swimsuit season.

14700:06:08,030 --> 00:06:09,730


12/32

Good for you.Eh.

14800:06:09,732 --> 00:06:10,781Not that you need it.

14900:06:10,783 --> 00:06:12,499I bet you look greatin a swimsuit.

15000:06:14,068 --> 00:06:16,069Thank you.

15100:06:16,071 --> 00:06:18,405I've got what my father usedto call "furniture disease."

15200:06:18,407 --> 00:06:20,040My chest is falling

into my drawers.

15300:06:26,765 --> 00:06:29,016I'm not, uh, familiarwith this model.

15400:06:29,018 --> 00:06:30,684How do I make it start?

15500:06:30,686 --> 00:06:33,053

You push start.

15600:06:33,055 --> 00:06:35,305Right.

15700:06:42,697 --> 00:06:44,531This one might be broken.

15800:06:44,533 --> 00:06:46,316You have to move.

15900:06:46,318 --> 00:06:48,869Got it.

16000:06:48,871 --> 00:06:50,437Oh.

161


13/32

00:06:50,439 --> 00:06:52,823There.

16200:06:57,996 --> 00:06:59,446Oh, yeah!

16300:07:00,281 --> 00:07:03,083Yeah, now I'm feeling it.

16400:07:04,252 --> 00:07:05,803Oh, this is great.

16500:07:05,805 --> 00:07:08,422I could do thisfor the rest of my life.

16600:07:08,424 --> 00:07:09,840Hey, speaking...

16700:07:09,842 --> 00:07:12,826speaking of things you dofor the rest of your life...

16800:07:12,828 --> 00:07:16,296uh, did I read that you'reon that-that tenure committee?

16900:07:16,298 --> 00:07:17,631Yep.

17000:07:17,633 --> 00:07:19,800I got to get a home gym.

17100:07:21,519 --> 00:07:24,738Well, I'm sure you havea lot of good applicants, I just

17200:07:24,740 --> 00:07:27,741wanted to say hi and...

17300:07:27,743 --> 00:07:29,610let you know that I'll be...

17400:07:29,612 --> 00:07:31,144throwing my hat in the...

175


14/32

00:07:33,482 --> 00:07:35,699...ring.

17600:07:35,701 --> 00:07:37,553All right, I'll keepan eye out for that.

17700:07:37,578 --> 00:07:38,169Yeah.

17800:07:38,170 --> 00:07:41,071Hey, Hofstadter.

17900:07:41,073 --> 00:07:43,090Funny seeing you herefor the first time in...

18000:07:43,092 --> 00:07:45,509ever.

18100:07:45,511 --> 00:07:48,679Go... away.

18200:07:49,547 --> 00:07:51,048Janine the Machine,let's do this!

18300:07:51,050 --> 00:07:52,332Hey, Barry.

18400:07:53,718 --> 00:07:55,018Well, look at that.

18500:07:55,020 --> 00:07:57,521Burned a whole calorie.

18600:07:57,523 --> 00:07:59,056I guess you got here

18700:07:59,058 --> 00:08:02,059early to burn off thatbanana bread I baked you.

18800:08:02,061 --> 00:08:03,677Yeah, it was delicious.Thank you.


15/32

18900:08:03,679 --> 00:08:04,695No, my pleasure.

19000:08:04,697 --> 00:08:06,680Oh, if you... if youlike banana bread...

19100:08:06,682 --> 00:08:08,949I've got a-a great recipe.

19200:08:08,951 --> 00:08:11,451The trickis in... in fresh ground...

19300:08:11,453 --> 00:08:14,571I'll e-mail it to you.

19400:08:14,573 --> 00:08:15,622

All right, I'm warm.

19500:08:15,624 --> 00:08:17,291Ready to kick it up a notch?

19600:08:17,293 --> 00:08:19,693Let's go.

19700:08:19,695 --> 00:08:21,295That's enough cardio for me.

19800:08:21,297 --> 00:08:24,548I'm just... gonna stretch outbefore I hit the weights.

19900:08:28,670 --> 00:08:30,804You okay?

20000:08:31,673 --> 00:08:34,207Call someone!

20100:08:38,680 --> 00:08:41,532Good day, Mrs. Davis.

20200:08:41,534 --> 00:08:42,933This is Dr. RajeshKoothrappali


16/32

20300:08:42,935 --> 00:08:45,402from the astrophysicsdepartment.

20400:08:45,404 --> 00:08:46,887Don't be alarmed,

20500:08:46,889 --> 00:08:49,556I'm not really in space.

20600:08:52,243 --> 00:08:55,245Anyhoo...

20700:08:55,247 --> 00:08:56,730I'd like to takethis opportunity

20800:08:56,732 --> 00:08:58,231

to tell you about myself,

20900:08:58,233 --> 00:09:00,667so sit back, relax and enjoy

21000:09:00,669 --> 00:09:03,337the following 90-minute video.

21100:09:03,339 --> 00:09:05,389Oh, come on.

21200:09:07,158 --> 00:09:08,458Born in New Delhi,

21300:09:08,460 --> 00:09:11,261the third sonof an itinerant gynecologist,

21400:09:11,263 --> 00:09:14,498I showed early

signs of genius.

21500:09:14,500 --> 00:09:17,868At the age of five,I discovered a celestial object

21600:09:17,870 --> 00:09:21,305which later turned out


17/32

to be the moon.

21700:09:24,627 --> 00:09:25,926Mrs. Davis?Mrs. Davis? Mrs. Davis?

21800:09:25,928 --> 00:09:28,145Mrs. Davis?

21900:09:28,147 --> 00:09:30,647God, they're everywhere.

22000:09:30,649 --> 00:09:32,699Come in.

22100:09:34,035 --> 00:09:35,903Dr. Cooper,how can I help you?

22200:09:35,905 --> 00:09:38,071Yes, hello. I'm fine. Um...

22300:09:39,908 --> 00:09:42,576I understand you may havea bad impression of me,

22400:09:42,578 --> 00:09:44,745so I bought you a gift.

22500:09:44,747 --> 00:09:46,780Uh, Dr. Cooper,that's not necessary.

22600:09:46,782 --> 00:09:47,948It's too late.

22700:09:49,050 --> 00:09:50,550Get ready to like me.

22800:09:52,420 --> 00:09:55,272Roots?

22900:09:56,674 --> 00:10:01,511The tragic historyof slavery in America.

230


18/32

00:10:01,513 --> 00:10:04,014Fun for the whole family.

23100:10:05,967 --> 00:10:08,652Why would you thinkthis is an appropriate gift?

23200:10:08,654 --> 00:10:10,988Um...

23300:10:10,990 --> 00:10:13,273Well...

23400:10:15,910 --> 00:10:18,111You are black, right?

23500:10:20,114 --> 00:10:22,516This meeting has come to an end.

23600:10:22,518 --> 00:10:24,818Because you want to startwatching it right now.

23700:10:24,820 --> 00:10:26,370Copy that.

23800:10:27,221 --> 00:10:29,589Let's see.

23900:10:29,591 --> 00:10:33,043Up nexton the tenure committee is...

24000:10:33,045 --> 00:10:35,145Professor Wu.

24100:10:35,147 --> 00:10:38,765Well, get ready for the completeworks of Jackie Chan.

24200:10:48,437 --> 00:10:50,438Gentlemen.

24300:10:50,440 --> 00:10:51,956Where haveyou been?


19/32

24400:10:51,958 --> 00:10:54,092Nurse's office.

24500:10:55,244 --> 00:10:56,194Asthma attack?

24600:10:56,196 --> 00:10:58,112Asthma, heart--some kind of attack.

24700:10:58,114 --> 00:10:59,748I'm fine, though.

24800:11:00,750 --> 00:11:01,949You guys going

24900:11:01,951 --> 00:11:03,117to Professor Tupperman's

memorial?

25000:11:03,119 --> 00:11:04,135I don't know.Probably not.

25100:11:04,137 --> 00:11:05,220Barely knew him.

25200:11:05,222 --> 00:11:06,504

Yeah, you wouldn't want to look

25300:11:06,506 --> 00:11:08,623like you guys are brown-nosingthe tenure committee,

25400:11:08,625 --> 00:11:10,124who will all be there.

25500:11:12,178 --> 00:11:15,313

Oh, yeah, that's whatI was hoping for-- meerkats.

25600:11:21,821 --> 00:11:25,356I won't be able to make ourdate night this Thursday, so...

25700:11:25,358 --> 00:11:27,308


20/32

bad news for you.

25800:11:28,194 --> 00:11:30,195You better have agood excuse this time,

25900:11:30,197 --> 00:11:32,363because "trimming Q-tipsto fit your ears right"

26000:11:32,365 --> 00:11:34,148is obvious nonsense.

26100:11:35,000 --> 00:11:36,401First of all,

26200:11:36,403 --> 00:11:38,870when you say things like that,people think you're crazy.

26300:11:38,872 --> 00:11:42,490Second, the reasonI'm cancelling is because

26400:11:42,492 --> 00:11:45,493I have to attend a memorialservice for Professor Tupperman.

26500:11:45,495 --> 00:11:47,829

It sounds like a longand tedious evening.

26600:11:47,831 --> 00:11:49,330Eh, it will be.

26700:11:49,332 --> 00:11:51,883Honestly, if I must endurea long and tedious evening,

268

00:11:51,885 --> 00:11:54,352I'd rather it bewith you on date night.

26900:11:54,354 --> 00:11:56,438But I have no choice.

27000:11:56,440 --> 00:11:58,940


21/32

The tenure committee'sgoing to be there.

27100:11:58,942 --> 00:12:01,843Oh! Well, in that case,perhaps I should come along.

27200:12:01,845 --> 00:12:04,679Well, now that I think about it,that would be most helpful.

27300:12:04,681 --> 00:12:05,814Of course it would.

27400:12:05,816 --> 00:12:07,849I'm well-versed inacademic politics,

27500:12:07,851 --> 00:12:09,451

and as a respected scientist,

27600:12:09,453 --> 00:12:11,870I can only raise yourstock as a candidate.

27700:12:11,872 --> 00:12:14,873Actually, I meantyou could drive me.

278

00:12:16,992 --> 00:12:20,361But if it makes you happy,that other stuff, too.

27900:12:22,832 --> 00:12:25,133Do anythinginteresting today?

28000:12:25,135 --> 00:12:27,135Oh, not really.

28100:12:27,137 --> 00:12:28,553I was out shopping with Amy.

28200:12:28,555 --> 00:12:30,605She wanted meto help her find something

283


22/32

00:12:30,607 --> 00:12:31,706for this memorial thing.

28400:12:31,708 --> 00:12:33,174Wait--Sheldon's going to be there?

28500:12:33,176 --> 00:12:35,209We all promisedwe weren't going to go.

28600:12:35,211 --> 00:12:36,711Oh, what a jerk.

28700:12:36,713 --> 00:12:37,829I know.

28800:12:37,831 --> 00:12:39,931I was hoping to go

without anyone finding out.

28900:12:41,484 --> 00:12:43,234Well, since Amy's going,do you want me there?

29000:12:43,236 --> 00:12:44,402You know, to support you?

29100:12:44,404 --> 00:12:45,687

Oh...

29200:12:45,689 --> 00:12:47,238that's nice,but it-it's just gonna be

29300:12:47,240 --> 00:12:48,890a room full of boring old men

29400:12:48,892 --> 00:12:50,692

and I'm not surehow much help you'd be.

29500:12:50,694 --> 00:12:52,226Okay.

29600:12:52,228 --> 00:12:54,529I'm just gonna tie my shoe


23/32

while you think about that.

29700:13:02,004 --> 00:13:03,499Oh, yeah. No.Thanks, that would

29800:13:03,500 --> 00:13:05,499be great help.

29900:13:06,584 --> 00:13:07,951You realizeyou might kill some of them.

30000:13:07,953 --> 00:13:10,421Oh, then you all can get tenure.

30100:13:13,208 --> 00:13:14,658Come on, Daddy.

30200:13:14,660 --> 00:13:18,829All the other scientistshave seat warmers.

30300:13:18,831 --> 00:13:20,848This is so humiliating.

30400:13:20,850 --> 00:13:23,634I've got to get tenure.

30500:13:23,636 --> 00:13:25,335Okay, l-let's meet halfway.

30600:13:25,337 --> 00:13:28,505How about I cut my cleaninglady down to twice a week?

30700:13:29,566 --> 00:13:33,568Looks like we're both goingto be living like animals.

30800:13:36,071 --> 00:13:38,524Let's go over our emotionalresponses one last time.

30900:13:38,525 --> 00:13:39,957Okay.


24/32

31000:13:39,959 --> 00:13:43,527Professor Tupperman is dead,and that makes us...?

31100:13:43,529 --> 00:13:45,996Sad.

31200:13:45,998 --> 00:13:48,082The fact that thereare so many people

31300:13:48,084 --> 00:13:49,249here tonight doesn't make us

31400:13:49,251 --> 00:13:50,718cranky and claustrophobic.

31500:13:50,720 --> 00:13:51,702

It makes us...?

31600:13:51,704 --> 00:13:54,054Glad.

31700:13:54,056 --> 00:13:57,474Giving Mrs. Davis the box setof Roots was...?

31800:13:57,476 --> 00:13:59,710

Bad.

31900:13:59,712 --> 00:14:01,712However...No.

32000:14:01,714 --> 00:14:03,314Fine. Bad.

32100:14:04,182 --> 00:14:06,517

Unbelievable.

32200:14:06,519 --> 00:14:08,268You have some nerveshowing up here

32300:14:08,270 --> 00:14:10,104just to schmooze


25/32

with the tenure committee.

32400:14:10,106 --> 00:14:11,188You're here.

32500:14:11,190 --> 00:14:12,606Excuse me.

32600:14:12,608 --> 00:14:14,775I'm here to pay my respectsto Professor... Tupperware,

32700:14:14,777 --> 00:14:16,110or whatever his name is.

32800:14:16,112 --> 00:14:17,328So am I.

329

00:14:17,330 --> 00:14:20,164His passing makesme feel... bad.

33000:14:23,451 --> 00:14:26,670Well, well, well, Sheldon,fancy meeting you here.

33100:14:26,672 --> 00:14:28,539I guess the train storein Glendale

33200:14:28,541 --> 00:14:30,624wasn't having a cotillionafter all.

33300:14:31,793 --> 00:14:34,328And you-- you saidyou weren't coming here, either.

33400:14:34,330 --> 00:14:38,098

I have a thick accent.You don't know what I said.

33500:14:38,100 --> 00:14:40,134I'd like to knowwhy Penny's here.

33600:14:40,136 --> 00:14:42,919


26/32

I'm here to supportmy man, just like you.

33700:14:42,921 --> 00:14:44,471What are you going to do?

33800:14:44,473 --> 00:14:47,191Take people's drink ordersand get them wrong?

33900:14:48,043 --> 00:14:50,227Do it.

34000:15:04,108 --> 00:15:06,610What? Did she do it yet?

34100:15:09,113 --> 00:15:11,832She plans on flirting withmembers of the tenure committee

34200:15:11,834 --> 00:15:13,884to furtherLeonard's cause.

34300:15:13,886 --> 00:15:16,303Well, that's a finehow-do-you-do.

34400:15:16,305 --> 00:15:18,672

Don't just stand there.Take your breasts out.

34500:15:22,143 --> 00:15:24,762Ooh, meerkat fight!

34600:15:25,981 --> 00:15:27,731You're allwasting your time.

347

00:15:27,733 --> 00:15:29,933Sheldon is the mostqualified for the job,

34800:15:29,935 --> 00:15:33,687and no amount of gravity-defyingbosom's going to change that.

349


27/32

00:15:34,989 --> 00:15:36,306Seriously, is that tape?

35000:15:36,308 --> 00:15:38,442Like, how are theystaying up like that?

35100:15:38,444 --> 00:15:40,444Way to hit 'emwith both barrels.

35200:15:43,615 --> 00:15:45,949You two should beashamed of yourselves.

35300:15:45,951 --> 00:15:48,502Using women to advanceyour cause with sexuality,

354

00:15:48,504 --> 00:15:50,671and whatever Amy plans on doing.

35500:15:52,156 --> 00:15:53,064Are you implying

35600:15:53,065 --> 00:15:55,599that my girlfriend hasno sexuality to exploit?

357

00:15:55,647 --> 00:15:56,401Yes!

35800:15:56,426 --> 00:15:58,129Okay, becausethat was not clear.

35900:15:58,130 --> 00:15:59,296Sheldon!

360

00:16:01,850 --> 00:16:03,383What?

36100:16:03,385 --> 00:16:04,852That was ambiguous.

36200:16:04,854 --> 00:16:07,554Well, now it's biguous.


28/32

What are you gonna do about it?

36300:16:07,556 --> 00:16:08,639Um...

36400:16:08,641 --> 00:16:09,940You could talk some smackabout his mother.

36500:16:09,942 --> 00:16:11,859Well, yes, of course,he wouldn't like that at all.

36600:16:11,861 --> 00:16:14,144Last night,

36700:16:14,146 --> 00:16:16,313I was feeling in needof sexual release

36800:16:16,315 --> 00:16:18,849when I happenedto come across your mother.

36900:16:20,318 --> 00:16:22,536Okay, okay.

37000:16:22,538 --> 00:16:24,037Guys, what are we doing here?

37100:16:24,039 --> 00:16:25,205I don't know what you're doing,

37200:16:25,207 --> 00:16:26,657but I was about to insinuate

37300:16:26,659 --> 00:16:30,127that I had coituswith Raj's mother for a dollar.

37400:16:31,463 --> 00:16:32,963Oh, you dowhat you want,

37500:16:32,965 --> 00:16:35,382but I don't want to losemy friends over tenure.


29/32

37600:16:35,384 --> 00:16:36,500Friends are forever.

37700:16:36,502 --> 00:16:37,668So is tenure.

37800:16:37,670 --> 00:16:39,269Walk!

37900:16:40,505 --> 00:16:44,224I'm just gonna go home andlet my work speak for itself.

38000:16:44,226 --> 00:16:46,477You're right.This is beneath me.

381

00:16:46,479 --> 00:16:49,513Like your mother was last night.

38200:16:50,715 --> 00:16:52,683How about it, Sheldon?

38300:16:52,685 --> 00:16:56,219What do you thinkI should do?

384

00:16:56,221 --> 00:16:59,323Well, you'll always bean academic success,

38500:16:59,325 --> 00:17:00,724but...

38600:17:00,726 --> 00:17:02,025I seriously question

387

00:17:02,027 --> 00:17:04,227whether you'll makeany more friends.

38800:17:06,564 --> 00:17:08,832I don't want any more,but let's go.

389


30/32

00:17:10,285 --> 00:17:12,920Are you kidding? I would"wove" to baby-sit for you.

39000:17:12,922 --> 00:17:15,172I could not askyou to do that.

39100:17:15,174 --> 00:17:16,573Nonsense.Children "wove" me.

39200:17:16,575 --> 00:17:19,676Something about me just makesthem "waugh" and "waugh."

39300:17:26,885 --> 00:17:29,520No. We cannot loseto that jerk.

39400:17:29,522 --> 00:17:31,555Yeah, screw it.

39500:17:31,557 --> 00:17:32,773I'm going in.

39600:17:32,775 --> 00:17:34,257You... Wait. Hold on.

397

00:17:34,259 --> 00:17:36,193I believe "Screw it,I'm going in" is what

39800:17:36,195 --> 00:17:37,978I said to yourmother last night.

39900:17:40,198 --> 00:17:42,950Don't worry, I didn'treally say that.

40000:17:42,952 --> 00:17:44,701I-I find the concept

40100:17:44,703 --> 00:17:46,987of coitus ridiculousand off-putting.


31/32

40200:17:49,190 --> 00:17:51,825Should have taken my breasts outwhile I had the chance.

40300:18:01,466 --> 00:18:04,000Mrs. Davis?

40400:18:04,836 --> 00:18:06,420Mrs. Davis?

40500:18:06,422 --> 00:18:08,505Mrs. Davis?

40600:18:08,507 --> 00:18:10,373I know you're in there.

40700:18:10,375 --> 00:18:13,360I saw your car

in the parking lot.

40800:18:13,362 --> 00:18:15,545What?

40900:18:15,547 --> 00:18:18,381I just found outthat you recommended myself,

41000:18:18,383 --> 00:18:20,517

Dr. Hofstadterand Dr. Koothrappali

41100:18:20,519 --> 00:18:22,719to be on the short listfor tenure.

41200:18:22,721 --> 00:18:23,920Well, despite your quirks,

413

00:18:23,922 --> 00:18:26,556the three of youare very accomplished

41400:18:26,558 --> 00:18:28,208in your respective fields.

41500:18:28,210 --> 00:18:31,895


32/32

I don't know what you meanby "quirks," but, um...

41600:18:33,030 --> 00:18:34,411...I do wantto express my gratitude.

41700:18:34,412 --> 00:18:35,628You didn't bringanother gift, did you?

41800:18:35,653 --> 00:18:37,653No, no.

41900:18:37,736 --> 00:18:39,402No, I learned my lesson.

42000:18:39,404 --> 00:18:41,104I understand

that was inappropriate.

42100:18:41,106 --> 00:18:42,322Good.

42200:18:42,324 --> 00:18:44,658Anyway, thank you.

42300:18:44,660 --> 00:18:47,077You're welcome.

42400:18:53,668 --> 00:18:56,553I'm gonna pretendthat didn't happen.

42500:18:56,555 --> 00:18:58,054Yeah, right on, sister.

42600:18:58,056 --> 00:19:03,056== sync, corrected by elderman ==

the.big.bang.theory.s06e20.hdtv.x264 lol

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