2014 NOPT National 2014 NOPT National Conference Conference

Thursday 16th OctoberThursday 16th OctoberLuther King House Luther King House

Manchester M14 5JPManchester M14 5JP

Dr Pamela TrevithickDr Pamela TrevithickVisiting Professor in Social Work, Buckinghamshire Visiting Professor in Social Work, Buckinghamshire

New University/New University/GAPS Project ManagerGAPS Project Manager

The importance of the concept ‘use of self’ and its importance in relationship-based practice

Relationships Matter

The importance of The importance of relationship-based relationship-based

practicepractice

Trevithick, P. (2003) Trevithick, P. (2003) ‘Effective relationship-‘Effective relationship-based practice: a based practice: a theoretical exploration’, theoretical exploration’, Journal of Social Work Journal of Social Work Practice, Practice, 17(2): 173-18617(2): 173-186

Relationship-based practice supports the Relationship-based practice supports the view that the relationships we create are view that the relationships we create are fundamental to understanding and action, fundamental to understanding and action, and it is this understanding - and the and it is this understanding - and the meaning given to experience - that shapes meaning given to experience - that shapes the way we work with people. The aware the way we work with people. The aware and unaware emotions and feelings that and unaware emotions and feelings that all parties bring to an encounter – and the all parties bring to an encounter – and the impact of wider social factors - constitute impact of wider social factors - constitute a central element of the understanding a central element of the understanding that is achieved and the actions based on that is achieved and the actions based on that understandingthat understanding.

A definition of A definition of relationship-based relationship-based

practice practice

‘Relationship experiences have a dominant influence on the brain . . . Interpersonal experience thus plays a special organising role in determining the development of brain structure early in life and the ongoing emergence of brain function throughout the lifespan’ (Siegal 2012: 33)

 ‘The very nature of humanity arises from relationships . . . essentially everything that’s important about life as a human being you learn in context of relationships’ (Perry 2003)

The importance of relationships: the contribution of neuroscience 

Successful relationships can open Successful relationships can open up new possibilities and horizons up new possibilities and horizons

for peoplefor people

Five positive outcomes have been Five positive outcomes have been identified by the Stone Center in identified by the Stone Center in Boston, USA, founded by Jean Baker Boston, USA, founded by Jean Baker Miller:Miller: an increase in zest and vitality an increase in empowerment to act an enlarged picture of ourselves and others an increase in self-worth (i.e. greater confidence and competence) a growing desire for more rather than less connection and contact with others (Miller 1986: 3)

The ‘professional use The ‘professional use of self’of self’

England (1986) – the England (1986) – the ‘use of self’‘use of self’

The concept of the ‘use of self’ has a long-established place in social work thinking. It has, curiously, both a central and a marginal place. It is central because accounts of social work have consistently recognized the importance of the worker’s behaviour and relationship with the client, especially in accounts of social casework. It is marginal because, despite this recognition, the process has been one generally seen as inaccessible to analysis or proper discussion. . . . in social work it is not possible to make a division between the actor and his [sic] knowledge - that the knowledge is realized only by the worker. So for the social worker the nature of this ‘use of self’ is an issue too central, too essential, to be given only a marginal theoretical status; it is a problem which must be solved. . . . social work is distinct because its workers are necessarily themselves wholly involved and because their professional focus is upon the shifting and varied complexity of people’s ‘whole’ lives, not upon narrowly defined and functional matters.(England 1986: 40-41)

‘The ‘use of self both as a barometer of events and a therapeutic tool is essential for good practice. Supervision helps keep this key tool sharp and sensitive. If social workers are not to feel angry or fearful, lost or overwhelmed, helpless or despairing, punitive or hostile with cases that are emotionally taxing, there is a great need to reflect on matters with others.’(Howe 2008: 187)

Reflecting with others rather than self-reflection

The importance of self The importance of self knowledgeknowledge

It can:1. enhance our capacity to understand others: The capacity to be in touch with the service user’s feelings is related to the worker’s ability to acknowledge his or her own. Before a worker can understand the power of emotions in the life of the client, it is necessary to discover its importance in the worker’s own experience. (Schulman 1999: 156)

2. 2. enhance our capacity to understand enhance our capacity to understand ourselves and how we come acrossourselves and how we come across

3. help us to understand how service users ‘use help us to understand how service users ‘use themselves’ and the extent to which they can themselves’ and the extent to which they can use their self-knowledge to understand othersuse their self-knowledge to understand others

‘Things that we are conscious about make up the explicit aspects of the self. These are what we refer to by the term self-aware and constitute what we call our self-concepts . . . . The implicit aspects of the self, by contrast, are all other aspects of who we are that are not immediately available to consciousness, either because they are by their nature inaccessible, or because they are accessible but not being accessed at the moment.’(LeDoux 2002: 27-28)

A conundrum: our A conundrum: our explicit self-awareself-aware self and our self and our

implicitimplicit selfself

The nature of the emotional states among human beings can be hidden so considerable emphasis needs to be placed on the emotional message that is conveyed in non-verbal cues, particularly in people’s facial expression – as Seigal notes:

The study of emotion suggests that nonverbal behaviour is a primary mode in which emotion is communicated. Facial expression, eye gaze, tone of voice, bodily motion, and the timing and intensity of response are all fundamental to emotional messages. (Seigal 2012: 146)

Seigal goes further to state:‘we are hard-wired to have meaning and emotion shaped by the perception of eye contact and facial expression. We are also hard-wired to express emotion through the face.’ (Siegal 2012: 176).

Non-verbal cues

We need to use all our senses We need to use all our senses to aid understanding and to to aid understanding and to

gather evidencegather evidence

It is essential to look for evidence that It is essential to look for evidence that confirmsconfirms your hypothesis – but also evidence your hypothesis – but also evidence that that refutesrefutes what you think to be happening. what you think to be happening. In every encounter we need to use all the In every encounter we need to use all the five senses:five senses:

sightsight hearinghearing touch e.g. offering a handshake as a touch e.g. offering a handshake as a form ofform of communications/comforting others communications/comforting others through touchthrough touch smellsmell tastetaste

The importance of:The importance of:giving words to feeling felt but not giving words to feeling felt but not namednamed

Positive relationships are Positive relationships are conveyed in the conveyed in the ‘professional ‘professional

use of self’use of self’a)a) facial expressionfacial expressionb)b) tone of voice/intensity/rhythm/speed and tone of voice/intensity/rhythm/speed and

quality of speechquality of speechc)c) choice of words/vocabulary/articulationchoice of words/vocabulary/articulationd)d) other gestures we adopt other gestures we adopt e)e) mode of dressmode of dressf)f) actions/behaviour – as evident in our actions/behaviour – as evident in our

reliability, consistency and punctualityreliability, consistency and punctuality

The ‘use of self’ calls for practitioners to be The ‘use of self’ calls for practitioners to be aware of ‘aware of ‘how we come acrosshow we come across’ - and how to ’ - and how to adapt our approach to take account of non-adapt our approach to take account of non-verbal forms of communication – in ourselves verbal forms of communication – in ourselves and in others in way that aid communication and in others in way that aid communication and engagementand engagement

a. default facial a. default facial expressionexpression

LeDoux: ‘LeDoux: ‘the expression of emotion on a the expression of emotion on a human face is a potent emotional human face is a potent emotional stimulus’. stimulus’. LeDoux cites a research study LeDoux cites a research study which indicated:which indicated:‘‘that exposure of human subjects to that exposure of human subjects to fearful or angry faces potently activates fearful or angry faces potently activates the amygdala’ the amygdala’ (LeDoux(LeDoux 2002: 220)2002: 220)

That is, expressions that are interpreted as That is, expressions that are interpreted as hostilehostile (although perhaps not purposely (although perhaps not purposely intended) can trigger a person’s intended) can trigger a person’s fightfight, , flightflight or or freezefreeze reaction – which from that moment reaction – which from that moment will change the nature of the communication will change the nature of the communication unless addressedunless addressed

A great deal is communicated through A great deal is communicated through our facial expression, particularly eye our facial expression, particularly eye contact. Some examples of our default contact. Some examples of our default facial expression include: facial expression include:

A warm and inviting face A warm and inviting face

A calm and comforting face A calm and comforting face

A face that’s had to read A face that’s had to read

A face that conveys disinterest A face that conveys disinterest

A sad face A sad face

A worried face (e.g. such as a frown) A worried face (e.g. such as a frown) etcetc..

a. default facial a. default facial expressionexpression

b. default vocal b. default vocal expressionexpressionExamples of differences in tone of voice, mode of speech, the speed that we use to communicate:

speaking with a hurried tone

speaking with a dreary, boring, monosyllabic, non- committal or disinterested tone

speaking with a warm, caring, inviting, inclusive tone

speaking with an excited, interested, animated tone

speaking with changes in tone in order to emphasise certain points

Importance of cultural sensitivity . . .

our choice of words can have a profound impact

people’s class, race, gender, age and other identities tend to shape communication among different groups. It is essential not to work from a stereotypical view of people

failure to understand cultural differences – and

differences in power and status - can lead to misunderstandings/ communication breakdown

c. default choice of c. default choice of words/vocabulary words/vocabulary

There are gestures or repetitive mannerisms we adopt of which we are unaware. The most obvious examples include:

fidgeting/tapping clicking pens looking away failing to keep eye contact when needed the overuse certain words or phrases, such as: ‘right’ ‘ok’ ‘you know what I mean’

The most effective way to identify these gestures is through the use of a video recording - or by asking a colleague for honest but caring and sensitive feedback

d. default gestures we d. default gestures we adoptadopt

A fifth area where the professional use of self is important relates to how we dress and communicated through our appearance – that is, what we intend or may be interpreted in how we dress.

For example, how much skin we reveal can interfere with the communication. Thoughtfulness and sensitivity is needed in this area e.g. power dressing.

‘The way we dress communicates symbolically something of ourselves, and will have symbolic meaning for clients (and colleagues) depending on age, culture, class and context’ (Lishman 2009: 29)

e. default mode of e. default mode of dressdress

A sixth area:Being reliable and consistent can lead to a lowering of defences because it can mean that the emotional energy taken up through feeling worried or apprehensive about our arrival and how we might respond can be freed up and used instead to address concerns

Punctuality often conveys to others their importance and the commitment given to the encounter or the work at hand

f. Reliability, consistency and f. Reliability, consistency and punctualitypunctuality

in the welcome we offer and the mood we create in those first few minutes

in the space we leave between words – where worries and fantasies often live

in trying to access whatever expectations or fantasies may be present by giving them words and helping to dissolve their sting

in the emotional nature of the words we use to communicate and in the whole person demeanour we adopt

in the explanations we offer about ourselves (e.g. my frown) and through the judicious use of self-disclosure that we use to deepen the communication and understanding

How we come How we come acrossacross

in the way we add process information to the dialogue – what we’ve covered, validations, recognising the difficulties and qualities that has been demonstrated in the encounter

in the way that we ensure that when we leave, our final words communicate the impression we wanted to create

in the way that we follow-up the encounter and some issues covered in a letter, text, phone call, card (coloured envelope). It’s important to note that as human beings, we all yearn to be understood and remembered so again, this follow-up communication should embrace an emotional dimension and a sense of the meaning that has been shared

How we come How we come acrossacross

The term ‘best self’ attempts to integrate what we know with who we are (knowing that with knowing how) - the knowledge, skills, experience and qualities we bring to an encounter – and also a recognition of the limits of our capacities in certain situations.

It describes how we communicate our humanness and compassion in our emotional dialogue with others – and the extent to which we can ‘be ourselves’ in ways that are honest, open, emotionally available and spontaneous but also disciplined in ways that address the purpose of the work to be undertaken.

Working from our best self encourages us to never promise more than we can deliver

Working from our Working from our ‘best ‘best self’ self’ - - being reliable being reliable

and consistentand consistent

1 creating a rapport 1 creating a rapport /relationship/relationship2 interpersonal skills/our ‘use 2 interpersonal skills/our ‘use of self’/of self’/3 3 welcoming skills welcoming skills 4 communication/language 4 communication/language skillsskills5 non-verbal communication 5 non-verbal communication skillsskills6 6 observation skillsobservation skills7 active 7 active listening skills/noting listening skills/noting emotionalemotional content/what is said/not said content/what is said/not said8 8 memory skills memory skills 9 9 engagement skills engagement skills 10 emotional attunement skills10 emotional attunement skills11 11 demonstrating sympathy demonstrating sympathy 12 demonstrating empathy12 demonstrating empathy13 13 using intuition/intuitive using intuition/intuitive reasoning reasoning 14 14 information information gathering/collecting gathering/collecting baseline data baseline data 15 15 open questionsopen questions16 16 closed questionsclosed questions17 17 whatwhat questions questions18 18 why why questionsquestions19 19 circular questionscircular questions20 20 hypothetical questionshypothetical questions21 21 paraphrasingparaphrasing22 22 clarifyingclarifying23 23 summarizingsummarizing24 24 giving feedback thoughtfullygiving feedback thoughtfully25 inviting feedback openly25 inviting feedback openly26 appropriate use of self –26 appropriate use of self –disclosuredisclosure227 prompting/7 prompting/probingprobing

28 allowing/using silences28 allowing/using silences2929 ending ending meetings/interviews/contactmeetings/interviews/contact30 providing help30 providing help3131 providing practical hands-on providing practical hands-on assistanceassistance3232 providing emotional supportproviding emotional support33 33 giving advice (cautiously)giving advice (cautiously)34 providing information34 providing information35 providing explanations35 providing explanations36 providing encouragement36 providing encouragement37 offering affirmation/praise37 offering affirmation/praise38 providing reassurance38 providing reassurance39 using persuasion/toward 39 using persuasion/toward being directivebeing directive40 demonstrating 40 demonstrating leadership/initiativeleadership/initiative• breaking ‘bad news’breaking ‘bad news’42 modelling and social skills 42 modelling and social skills trainingtraining43 reframing43 reframing44 offering interpretations44 offering interpretations45 recognising/skilled adapting 45 recognising/skilled adapting to needto need46 counselling skills46 counselling skills47 containing the anxiety of 47 containing the anxiety of othersothers• self-care/managing our own self-care/managing our own emotionsemotions• negotiating skillsnegotiating skills4141 contracting skillscontracting skills4242 networking skills (formal and networking skills (formal and informal)informal)4343 working in partnership with working in partnership with othersothers53 mediation skills 53 mediation skills 54 advocacy skills54 advocacy skills• assertiveness skillsassertiveness skills• challenging/confrontational challenging/confrontational skillsskills

57 dealing with 57 dealing with hostility/aggressionhostility/aggression58 managing potentially violent 58 managing potentially violent encountersencounters59 managing professional 59 managing professional boundaries/boundaries/ confidentialityconfidentiality6060 conveying a sense of conveying a sense of authority/confidenceauthority/confidence professional accountabilityprofessional accountability61 recording/form filling skills61 recording/form filling skills62 note taking/62 note taking/minute-taking minute-taking skillsskills63 report writing skills63 report writing skills64 letter writing skills64 letter writing skills65 computer skills/IT skills65 computer skills/IT skills66 telephone skills 66 telephone skills 67 skilled use of mobile 67 skilled use of mobile phones/text phones/text messagingmessaging68 presentation skills68 presentation skills69 chairing/facilitation skills69 chairing/facilitation skills70 using supervision creatively70 using supervision creatively71 organizational /administrative 71 organizational /administrative skillsskills72 reading/comprehension skills72 reading/comprehension skills7373 analytic/critical thinking skills analytic/critical thinking skills to unravelto unravel complexitycomplexity7474 reflection/reflexivityreflection/reflexivity7575 skilled use of interventions skilled use of interventions targeted at targeted at structural barriersstructural barriers76 courtroom skills76 courtroom skills7777 skilled use of diplomacyskilled use of diplomacy7878 skilled use of touch (e.g. skilled use of touch (e.g. shaking hands)shaking hands)7979 skilled use of humourskilled use of humour8080 skilled us of social mediaskilled us of social media

  

A lexicon of 80 generalist A lexicon of 80 generalist skills/interventionsskills/interventions

  

The relationship-based practice is central to the The relationship-based practice is central to the work of work of GAPSGAPS – a social work membership – a social work membership organisation set up in the 1970s to promote organisation set up in the 1970s to promote therapeutic approaches, and psychosocial and therapeutic approaches, and psychosocial and systemic thinking in social work. Membership of systemic thinking in social work. Membership of GAPS cost GAPS cost £28.00 £28.00 pa for which subscribers receive pa for which subscribers receive 4 copies of the 4 copies of the Journal of Social Work Practice.Journal of Social Work Practice.

Information about events, papers and articles can be Information about events, papers and articles can be accessed accessed freefree from the from the GAPSGAPS website website http://www.gaps.org.uk http://www.gaps.org.uk or by emailing or by emailing GAPSGAPS info@gaps.org.uk Pamela Trevithick is the Pamela Trevithick is the GAPS GAPS Coordinator Coordinator

trevithick4gaps@btinternet.comtrevithick4gaps@btinternet.com

England, H. (1986) England, H. (1986) Social Work as Art: Making Sense of Good Practice. Social Work as Art: Making Sense of Good Practice. London: Allen & Unwin. London: Allen & Unwin.

Lishman, J. (2009) Lishman, J. (2009) Communication in Social Work, 2nd edn. Basingstoke: Communication in Social Work, 2nd edn. Basingstoke: Macmillan/BASW. Macmillan/BASW.

Munro, E. (2011b) Munro, E. (2011b) The Munro Review of Child Protection: Final Report – A The Munro Review of Child Protection: Final Report – A Child-Centred SystemChild-Centred System. London: The Stationery Office. . London: The Stationery Office. https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/munro-review-of-child-protection-final-report-a-child-centred-system [Accessed 19 Feb. 2014] [Accessed 19 Feb. 2014]

Miller, J. B. (1986) Miller, J. B. (1986) What do we mean by relationships? Work in Progress What do we mean by relationships? Work in Progress #22. #22. Wellesley, MA: Stone CenterWellesley, MA: Stone Center. .

Siegel, D. J. (2012) Siegel, D. J. (2012) The Developing Mind: Toward a Neurobiology of The Developing Mind: Toward a Neurobiology of Interpersonal Experience. Interpersonal Experience. 22ndnd edn edn. . New York: Guilford Press. New York: Guilford Press.

Trevithick, P. (2003) ‘Effective relationship-based practice: a theoretical Trevithick, P. (2003) ‘Effective relationship-based practice: a theoretical exploration’, exploration’, Journal of Social Work Practice, Journal of Social Work Practice, Vol. 17: 173-186.Vol. 17: 173-186.

Trevithick, P. (2011) ‘Understanding defences and defensive behaviour in Trevithick, P. (2011) ‘Understanding defences and defensive behaviour in social work’, social work’, Journal of Social Work Practice, Journal of Social Work Practice, Vol. 25 (4): 389-412.Vol. 25 (4): 389-412.

Trevithick, P. (2012) Trevithick, P. (2012) Social Work Skills and Knowledge: A Practice Social Work Skills and Knowledge: A Practice Handbook. Handbook. 33rdrd edn. edn. Maidenhead: Open University Press.Maidenhead: Open University Press.

Trevithick, P. (2014) ‘Humanising managerialism: reclaiming emotional reasoning, intuition, the relationship, and knowledge and skills in social work’, Journal of Social Work Practice Journal of Social Work Practice (forthcoming)(forthcoming)

Turnell, A. (2012) ‘Signs of safety: a comprehensive briefing paper’, Turnell, A. (2012) ‘Signs of safety: a comprehensive briefing paper’, Resolutions Consultancy, Perth. Available at: Resolutions Consultancy, Perth. Available at: www.signsofsafety.net

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