WARNING:THISBOOKCONTAINSSEXUALCONTENT

ACHE(NAKED,BOOK5)

byKellyFavor

ACHE.2013,allrightsreserved.

Foralongtimeitwassimplydark.Thedeepest,darkestblacknessCaelyncouldeverhaveimaginedandyet itwasdarker even than that.Caelynknew shedbeen in a terrible accident.Thatmuch, sheknewforsure.Everythingelsewaskindofamystery.

Fadingin,thedarknessliftedslightly,likeacurtainrising,butshewasstillinsomekindoffog.

Hurryup,Jake.Hurryup.Afamiliarvoice,butCaelyncouldntspeak.Shecouldntreallyevensee.Forsomereason,though,shecouldstillhear.

Asomewhatpanickedvoice.Theyrehurtbad.

Justgrabthebag,andthegun.Anythingelsethatcouldgethimorusintrouble.

WhataboutElijah?

ThecopsandEMTsareontheirway,Jake.Cantyouhearthesirens?

Fuck,Icantbelieveyou

Justgivemethedamnbag,Jake,andshutup.

Andthenthecurtainofdarknessloweredoncemore,blockingouttheworld.

Fadingin.

Therewasntasmuchfearastheremighthavebeen.Itwasalltooconfusing.

Everythingwasdifferenttherewasnothingtoreallydoorevenfeel.Itwasall justhappening,asifshewasbeingallowedtohearcertainclipsoftape,andthenotherpartsofthetapewereturneddownsoshecouldntlisten.

Itwasimpossibletomakesenseofitall,andCaelynwasntreallytryingto.

PleaseletElijahbeokay.

Thereweresirensnow,loudinherears,andvoices,too.Commotion.

Christ,lookatthis.Weregoingtoneedtogetthechopperouthere.

Youthink?

Shesinbadshape.

Andhim?

Hesshot,butitsherheadImworriedabout.Braintrauma.

Timepassed,notquicklyorslowlyshewassimplyawarethatitwaspassing.

Eventually she became conscious of the sound of a very loud engine, ofmovement, of hushed, lowtones.Thingsweregettingmoremuddled.

SheonceagainthoughtofElijah.Thethoughtofhimbroughtaboutasenseofloss,asensethatthiswaswrong,andsheshouldbewithhimrightnow.

Idontwanttogothroughthisalone,Elijah.

Fadeout.

***

Whenshefadedinagain,shecouldsee.

Itwashazyandfaraway,asifshewaswatchingtheworldthroughabackwardstelescope.Shecouldseeaceilingoverhead,whooshingpasther.Andtherewerepeoplecarryingherorno,rollingheronsomekindofcontraption.

Imlyingonahospitalbed,shethought.Theyrepushingmedownahallway.

Thefacesaboveherlookeddownwithalotofconcern.

Oneofthemgrewsurprised.Hey,Ithinkshesawake.Sheslookingatme.

Another face turned down and studied her aswell. Probably just a reflex.Her eyes arent focused.Caelyn,canyouspeak?Canyouhearus?

Shewantedtorespond.OfcourseIcanhearyouImnotdeaf.

But thewordswouldnt come out. It was like someone had frozen her lips into position, given herNovocainuntilshecouldntevenfeelherselfenoughtorespond.

See,shestotallygone.Typicalbraintrauma.WeneedtogetherintheCAT

scan,fast.

Andthenshewasgoneoncemore.

***

Caitlynwasaloneinthedarknessagain.Shewaswaitingforsomething,notquitesurewhoorwhatsheevenwas.Therewerenowords,nothoughts,nofeelings,nosensationswhatsoever.

Butshewasstillthere.Itwaspeaceful.

Andthen,slowly,shehadherfirstthought.

Imisshimsomuch.

Butwhodidshemiss?

Shecouldntquiterememberthatpart.

Therewasalonging,adeep,deephole.Aloss.

Pleasedontleaveme

Elijah.

Thatnamebroughtherbacktoherself.Elijah.Wherewashe?Howcouldshefindhiminthedarkness?

Andthen,thedarknessbegantodissipate,likethenightslowlyturningintomorning,theraysofthesunwarmingandlightingtheworld.Aloudringingbuzzedherentirehead,assheslowlyforcedhereyesopenoncemore.

Theeffortofopeninghereyeswasimmense.Liftingaboulderseemedlikeitwouldhavebeeneasierthanopeninghereyesatthatmoment.

Shewasinahospitalroom,butittookalittlewhiletoregisterit.Somethingwasbroken.

Whiteroom,tubes,coldwhitesheets,andaterrible,fiercepainvibratedthroughoutherentirebody.Thepainwassofierce,actually,thatatfirstshedidntevenrecognizeitaspain.Itwasjustlikestaticfromaradiostation,blaring,untilsherealizedtherewasnonoise.

Andthatswhensherealizedshewasinterrible,horribleagony.

Shetriedtomoanbuttherewasntmuchcomingfromhernumb,curiouslylifelesslips.

Hereyeballsrolledtowardsthedoorwaytoherroom.

Beep.Beep.Beep.Beep.

Sheheardthesteadybeepingsound,andanotherseparatewhooshingsound,likeapump.

Shewasstaringatthedoorwayforsomereason,althoughitwasemptyinthehallway.Occasionally,shesawsomeonewalkbyanurse,adoctornobodylookedinonher.

Andthen,afterwhatseemedlikehours,someonestartedtoenterherroom.

Itwasntadoctororanurse.Itwasapatient.

Sheknewthatbecausethepatientwaswearingahospitalgown,anddragginganIVastheycameintotheroom.

Thepersonsfacewassofamiliar,andyetitwasstrangelybruisedandcutandswollen.

Iknowhim,shethought.Iknowhim.

Thepaininherbodywasrecedingslightly,asshestareduncomprehendinglyatthebeatenandbruisedpersonthatlimpedtowardsherbed.

Hiseyesstaredwithhorrorather.

Hey,youdontlooksogreatyourself,shethought.

Caelynhewhisperedthroughswollenlips.Caelyn,no.No.

Andthensherealizeditwashim.

Thenamewason the tipofher tongue.Sheknewhewasher love.Sheknewhewasherangel,hersavior.

Shetriedtosmileforhim.

ELIJAH.

Thatsright,shethought.ItsElijah.Whoelsewasthere?Whoelsecouldtherebe?

Caelynwasnt even sure how she knewhim, orwhat their historywas. She simply knew theyweremeanttobetogether.

Inthedarkness,theydbeenseparated,buthedcomeforherandnowthingswouldbeokay.

Hisfacewasdeeplypainedashewalkedcloser toherbedside.TheIVbagswungon itsstandashenearlylosthisbalance.Andthenherightedhimself,grimacing,andreachedouthishandtotakehers.

She could feel his warmth and his love through the soft touch of his skin. Her pain went awaycompletelyinthatmomentasheheldherhand,andherheartswelledwithgratitude.

Iknowyoucanhearme,Caelyn.Yourelookingatme,arentyoukid?Youseeme?Justnod.Orblinktwice.Givemeasign.

Shetriedtogiveasign,butnothingwasworking.Evenhereyeswerentunderhercontrol.Theyrolledin her head, first one way and then the next. She moaned a little in frustration. But then she keptmoaning,rhythmically,anditwasntuptoherthemoansjustkeptcoming.

Whats wrong, Caelyn? Are you hurting? he asked, bending down to try and listen to her moreclosely.Tellmewhatswrong,hesaid.

She could hear the agony in his voice, and she knew he was walking only out of sheer will anddetermination.Hisbreathingwasraggedandshallow.

Meanwhile,Caelyn could hear herselfmoaning as if from a great distance, the sounds coming fromdeepwithinherchest,likewavesthatbuiltandbuiltwithsoundandthenfadedoutagain.

Elijahshookhishead.

Excuseme,whatareyoudoing?someonecalledoutfrombehindhim.

Elijahturnedslowly.Thisismygirlfriend,hesaid.

Yourenotsupposedtobeinhere.Whatfloordidyoucomefrom?thewomanasked,hervoicefullofsuspicion.

Listentohermoan.Shesinalotofpain.Sheneedsmedicine.

Arentyouthegunshotvictim?Youresupposedtobeupstairsinbed.

Idontgiveashitaboutmyself.Justgethersomedamnmedicine,hegrowled.

Now Caelyn could see the nurse as she approached and glared at Elijah. You shouldnt even bestandinguprightnow.Iveheardallaboutyourcaseyourethegunshotwound,andyoucrashedyourcar.

ElijahsattentionwasturnedfullyonCaelyn.Helickedhiscrackedlips.Hisfacewasshadesofpurpleandblueandblackfromthebruisingandswelling.

Shetriedtogivehimasign,totryandtellhimsheknewwhathewasdoingonherbehalf,butitwasimpossible.Hereyeswandered,totallyoutofhercontrol.Finally,hereyesrolledbackinherheadandeverythingwentblackoncemore.

Shecouldstillhear,though.

Lookather,Elijahsaid.

Youneedtoleave,Sir.Rightnow.

Lookathereyes.Sheneedshelp!Sheneedshelp!

DoI?

Maybeshedidneedhelp.Herowninnervoicewasbeginningtofade,fade,fade.

AndshewasstartingtomovefurtherawayfromElijah,althoughsheresistedthepull.Itseemedasifaninvisible current was pulling her through the darkness, and Elijah was fading away along witheverythingelse.

Theotherstuffshedidntcareabout.Onlyhim.Onlyonly

Dontgo

Dont

Elijah.

***

Shehadbeguntodream.Thestrangethingwas,sheknewshewasdreaming.

Andunlikenormaldreamsshedhadmostofherlife,thesedreamsmadetotalanduttersense.

Theypooledintothedarkness,swirlsofcolorthatsproutedintoexistence.Theswirlsofcolorstartedtoformshapesandthentheshapesbegantoformimages.Trees.

Beautifultrees,withdifferentcoloredfallleaves,asbrightasanytreesshedeverseen.

Caelyncouldntbelievethevividnessofthosecolors.Andthesmells.Shecouldsmelltheleaves,andthegrass,andeventheair,asagustofwindblew.

Shewaslookingatherparentshouse.

HermotherandfatherandDeenawerehurrying intoherdadscar.The threeof themlookedpained,withpuffy,tear-streakedfaces.

Deena,however,seemedtobemilkingitforallitwasworth.Shesobbedintohermotherscoat,astheymadetheirwaytothecar.ItsokayDeeDee,hermothersaid.

Itsgoingtobeokay.

No,Deenawailed.Shesgoingtodie,Iknowit.Moresobbing.

Shesgoingtolive.ShellfightCaelynsalwaysbeenafighter,Godknows.

Theygotinthecar.

Andthen,asifshedchangedthechannel,Caelynwaswatchinganewscenealtogether.

Adoctorwastalkingtoherparentsinahospitalwaitingarea.Thedoctorwasatall,thinwomanwithgrayish blond hair and brittle hands. Caelyn came inwith a very serious head injury from her caraccident,butwethoughtwehadtheswellingundercontrol,thedoctorexplained.

Andthenwhathappened?Whywassheinsurgery?Caelynsmotherasked.

Shesuddenlyspikedafever,andwhenwegaveheranotherscan,wefoundthatherbrainhadbegunswellingandtherewasabloodclotthathadformed.Wehadtogoinandtakeouttheclot,whichwedid.

Soshesokay,herdadsaid,hisvoiceshaking.

Thedoctorsighed.Shesinstablebutcriticalcondition.Wevehadtoplaceherinamedicallyinducedcomawhilewewaitforhertemperatureandswellingtosubside.

Soisshegoingtolive?herfatherasked.Whatareherchances?

Imnotgoingtogiveyouadefinitiveanswer,Mr.Murphy.Isimplydontknow.WhatIdoknowisthatweve givenCaelyn a great chance.We removed the clot, we addressed the swelling, and nowwerehopingshelldotherestandrecover.Wehavetowaitandsee,Imafraid.

Herfathershookhishead.

Thesceneappeared tobreakapart,and thecolorsswirledfora long time.When thecolors reformedshapes,theyshowedCaelynadifferenthospitalroom.

Elijahwas lying inbed,acurtainaroundhim.Therewasa shortpoliceofficer talking tohim,whileElijahdrankGingerAlefromastraw.

Soyoudidntseethepersonthatshotyou,Mr.Daniels?

Elijahshookhishead.Nope.

Andyouhavenoideawhysomeonewouldevenwanttoshootyou,thecopsaidsarcastically,asifknowingthatElijahwouldntgivehimaproperanswer.

Well,Imightnotbethemostpopularguyinmyneighborhood.

Thecopcockedhishead.Whysthat?Youseemlikesuchaniceguy.

BecauseIliketoplayCelineDionatthehighestvolumemystereosystemcango.ButnoteveryonelikesCelineasmuchasIdo.

Notsureshesmycupoftea,either.

Well,then,youremorelikemyneighbors.

Youre tellingmeyou thinksomeone trackedyoudownandshotyou inaBostonalleywaybecauseyoulistentoCelineDiontooloudlyinyourapartment.

Itsasgoodaguessasany,Elijahshrugged.Thenheputthestrawinhismouthandsipped.

Listen,Iunderstandyouhavethisdumbcode,thecopsaid.

Code?

Yeah,youdontwanttoratsomeoneout.Youdontwanttocomeofflikeasnitch.Butwhoevershotyoudeservestogotojail.

Iagree.AndIhopeyoucanfindthem,somehow.MaybetheyllrealizeIwasrightaboutCelineDionsawesomenessandturnthemselvesin.

Thecopsmiled.Well,ifyouwontworkwithme,Isupposetheresnothingelsetosay,Mr.Daniels.

AmIintroublewithmyparoleboard?

Idontseehow.Youdidnthaveanythingillegal inyourpossessionat thetimeof theaccident,andtheresnocrimeinbeingshot.

Couldhavefooledme,withthewayyoureinterrogatingmeaboutit.

Thecopmadeaface.Youjustbetterhopewedontfindsomething.Orifyourgirlfriendwakesupandtellsusadifferentstory

AtthementionofCaelyn,Elijahgrewpaleandforcedhimselftositupinbed.

Hiseyeswerebulgingandthecordsofmusclestoodoutinhisforearmsashesatthere,staringattheofficer.Whatdoyoumean,IFshewakesup?

The cop licked his lips and glanced around. Youmeannobodys told you anything yet about hercondition?

Tellme,Elijahsaid.Tellme.Please.Whatshappeningtoher?

Thecopscratchedhisthickheadofcurlyhair.Jeez,thisistough.HelookedatElijahandlickedhislipsagain.Imsorrytotellyoushesinacoma.

No.Elijahtrembled.Dontyoufuckinglietome.

Imnotlying,son

Anddontcallmeson.Elijahsarmswereshakingsobadlythathefellbackwardsintobed.Dontcallmethat.

Listen,Ididntwanttobetheguytotellyou.

Shecantbeinacoma.

Imrealsorry.

Canyoufindoutanythingelse?Elijahasked,hiseyesstaringattheceiling.

Canyouasksomeonetocometalktome,adoctororsomeone?Ijustneedtoknow.Ineedtoknow.

Look,IllseewhatIcando.ThecopstartedtowalkthroughthecurtainthatseparatedElijahfromtheotherpatientsinhisroom.Butthentheofficerseemedtothinkbetterofit,andheturnedaroundagain.Hey,IbetIcouldfindoutmoreaboutyourgirlfriendscondition.

Youcould?Elijahasked,hisvoicehopefulnow.

Yeah.Allyougottadoisjogyourmemoryaboutwhoputthatbulletinyourstomach.YoudothatandIllhaveherdoctorcomeinhereandpersonallyupdateyouonhercondition.

Elijahlaughedweakly.Sureyouwill.Sure.

Thecolorsbeganswirlingagain,bleedingintooneanother.

Theybledintothedarkness,andsoonthecolorsweregonealtogether.

***

Thistime,hereyespoppedopen,andshecouldcontrolthem.

Awhite roomswam into focus. Itwaswhite andcold and therewere tubes andpumpsand shewaslyingoncrispwhitesheets.

Therewereotherpeoplearoundher.

Theyweretalking.Atfirst,shedidntevenrealizewhattheyweresaying,becausenothingquitemadesense.

Finally,hereyeslookedovertothethreepeoplestandingbesidethedoor.Theywereveryfamiliar.Sheknewallthreeofthem.Theolderwomanhadthesaddestwayabouther,lookedasthoughaslightwindcouldbreakherapartcompletely.And then theoldermanwasonly interested inkeeping thewomanfromfallingapart.

Theyounggirlhadaveryangrylookonherface,andCaelyninstantlyreactedtoher.

Iknowher.Idontlikeher.Shescruelandmean.

The three of themwere like ghosts.Theywere speaking but at first itwas almost like they spoke aforeignlanguage.

Theybuzzedlikebees.Buzzzzz.buzzz

nevergoingtowakeup,theyoungergirlsaid.

Donttalklikethat,Deena,theolderwomansaid.

Whentheolderwomansaidthegirlsname,Caelynfinallyrememberedthattheywereherfamily.Shecouldntrememberallthedifferentthingsthathadgoneonbetweenthemrecently,itwasallablur.

Therecentpastfeltlikeithadoccurredthousandsofyearsago.Infact,shedidntknowwhatwasrecentpast.

Shewasstrugglingjusttomakesenseofthepresent.

They say that every hour that goes by without her waking up, the worse her chances are, saidCaelynsfather.

ButIamawake,Caelynthought.

Only,someonesmissing.Idontevencareaboutthesethreepeople.Icareabouthim.

Who?

Him.

Shed forgotten and remembered him before, she knew that. Shed been in some kind of terribleaccident,andshewashurt.Maybeshedevendiedandcomebacktolife.

wecangodowntothecafeteriaandgetsomethingtoeat,Caelynsmomsaid.

CantwejustleaveandgotoApplebees?Theresonerightnearhere,Deenawhined.

Deena,thecafeteriaisfine.Wedontwanttobegonefortwohours.

Whynot?Itsnotlikeshesgoinganywhere.

Herfatherandmotherexchangedglances.Fine,herfathersaid.

No,hermotherreplied.WerenotleavingtogotoApplebees.Thatsabsurd.

MydaughtersinacomaandImnotgoinganywhere.

Yourdaughter?Shesmineaswell.

Dont fight overwhose daughter she is,Deena said angrily, its like some pathetic scene from aLifetimemovie.Besides,neitherofyouwereevenspeakingtoher.

Thethreeofthemcontinuedarguinglikethatastheyleftthehospitalroomandwentintothehallway.

Whentheyweregone,theroomdescendedbackintorelativesilence.Caelynwasrelievedtheydleft.Hereyestookintheroommorefullynow,andsheconcentratedontryingtospeak.

Ineedtosaysomething.IneedtoknowifIevencansaysomething.

That thought frightened her. What if she remained locked in her body without ever being able tocommunicateherawarenesstotherestoftheworld?

Theywouldassumeshewasavegetable,braindead.Theywouldtreatherassuch.

Caelynfoughttotryandmoveamuscle.Firstherfeet,thenherhands,andfailingthat,sheblinked.Theblinkreassuredherthatshecouldatleastmovesomethingsomewhereonherbody.

Next,shetriedtomoveherlips.

Ijustneedtobeabletospeak,evenawhisperwilldo.

AndthenshethoughtaboutElijah.Elijah.Hispicturefloatedtothesurfaceofherstrugglingmind,likeamagiceightball.

TryAgainLater.

Butshecouldnt,noshehadtodothisnow.WhatifElijahthoughtshewasbraindeadtoo?Whatifhegaveuponher?

Hellnevergiveuponme.

Buteventuallysheknewhewould.Itwasimpossibleforanyonetostandbyapersontheynolongerthoughtevenexisted.

Thefearcausedsweatbeadstobreakoutonherforehead.Alow,low,moanescapedherlips.

Just then,anursewalked into the roomwithabasinandawashcloth.ThenursewasntevenpayingattentiontoCaelyn.Shewasshortandsquat,withfieryredhairthatwasnearlyorange.Shehadpaleskinandfreckles,butCaelynthoughtshelookedfriendly.

SomethingaboutthewomansmotionscomfortedCaelyn.

Gotyouawashcloth,dear, thewomansaid, lookingatCaelynschartassheslung thebasindownnearby.Youalwayslikegettinganicecoolclothonyourface,dontyou?

Caelyndidntactuallyrecallevergettingawashclothonherfacefromthiswoman,butitsoundednice.Shewatchedasthenursefilledthebasinwithwaterandthendippedtheclothinit,wrungmostofthewateroutandthencametoCaelynsside.

Oh,my,youvegotyoureyesopentoday,dear.Thenursesmiledbrightlyather.

Caelynopenedhermouthandalowmoanescaped.

Thenursesteppedbackinshock,hermouthregisteringwidesurprise.ShestaredatCaelyn.Areyoureallyawake?Canyouhearme?

Caelyn tried tonodormakeamovement,butnothingwascooperating.Although, suddenly, throughsheerforceofeffort,shedidfeelherbigtoeflinch.Butitwastoosmallamovementtogainthenursesattention.

Itsokay,youcantalktome.Iwontbite,Ipromise.ThenursecamecloseragainandpattedCaelynsforeheadwiththecloth.Itdidfeelnice,andCaelynfelthermouthtrembleintoasmile.

Why, Idobelieveyoureseeingme.Thenurse lookedperplexed.Ihave to tell someone,becausethisisverybignews.Doyouknowthat?

Caelyntriedtosayyes.Allthatcameoutwasanothermoan.Evenhermoaningwasbarelyaudible.

Thenurseturnedandwaddledquicklyoutoftheroom.

Caelynwaited.

Imreallyawakethistime,shethought.Sheblinkedtwice.Thiswasthelongestshedbeenawakeinawhileshewasntsurehowlong.

Shedidfeelexhausted,however.Shewasalreadywantingtogobacktosleep.

Butsheknewthatifshedidthat,itcouldbebad.Thatnursehadgoneforhelp,andifCaelynwantedanybodytobelievethatshewasaliveandconscious,sheneededtoatleastkeephereyesopen.

Butwitheachpassingsecond,Caelynfoundherselfstrugglingtoremainawake.

Sleepwastuggingather,beckoning.

Hereyeseventuallyclosed,butshesnappedthemopenagain.

Finally,theredhairednursereturnedwithanotherwomanwhoseemedveryannoyed,likeshedbeenpulledoutofdoingsomethingveryimportanttodosomethingshethoughtwasunimportant.

You understand that often times a comatose patient will open their eyes, evenmake noises, and itdoesntmeanthattheyreactuallyawakeandaware,theuptightwomansaid.

Idoknowthat,theredheadednursesaid.Butthisisdifferent.

Theannoyedwomanhadshortdarkhairandamoleaboveherlip.ShesighedwithimpatienceandwenttoCaelynsbedside,peeringdownather.Caelyn?Doyouhearme?ShesnappedherfingersinfrontofCaelynsfaceandthentotheside.

Caelyns gaze followed her fingers to the new areawhere she snapped. The nurses eyes narrowed.Thenshemovedherhandandsnappedagain.Caelynseyesfollowedherhand.Well,youwererighttobringmeinhere,Helen.

CaelynrealizedthatHelenmusthavebeenthenameoftheredheadednurse.

TheuptightnursetookalittlepenlightoutandflasheditinCaelynseyes,movingitbackandforth.

Shesfollowing,Helencriedoutjoyfully.

Thatdoesntnecessarilymeanshesoutofhercoma.Weneedtodomoreextensivetesting.

Theuptightnurseleft,andHelenstayedbyCaelynsside,strokingherhair.

Shesalittlebitofajerk,Helenwhispered,grinning.Butshesprettygoodatherjob.

Afewminuteslateradoctorenteredtheroom.Hewasveryyounghelookedjustoutofhighschool.Hi,ImDr.AmitRamachandran,hesaid.

ImHelen,theNursingAssistant.

Hi,Helen,hesaid,hardlylookingather.HewasstudyingCaelynwithhislarge,browneyes.Hisdarkhairwasslickedback,butafewstrandshungoverhisforehead.So,itseemslikewerethinkingthatMs.Murphyisstartingtoawakenfromhercoma.Isthatright?

Yes,Inoticedshewaswatchingme,andsheseemedtobevocalizingabitwhenIspoketoher,asif

shewastryingtocommunicatewithme.

Uhhuh.AmitcamecloserandleanedtowardsCaelyn.Canyouhearme,Caelyn?Sayyes, ifyoucan.

She was exhausted. Her eyes wanted to close, but she knew that it was important she stay awake.Otherwisetheydreallybelieveshewasstillinhercoma.Shetriedtosayyes,butitwassodifficulttoevenmakeanoise.Shetried, though.Musteringthelastofherenergy,sheattemptedtopushout thewordyes.

Allthatcameoutwasamurmur,asigh.

Butthedoctorseyebrowsrosewhenshemadehernoise.

Helensmiledknowingly.Itoldyou,shesawake.

AmitlookedbackatCaelyn,hisexpressionmoreintensenow.Caelyn,wereheretohelpyou.YoureatBostonCityHospital,inourcriticalcareunit.Youvebeeninacomaforthelastfewdays,butyouhavethebestdoctorsintheworldlookingafteryou.

Andnurses,Helenadded.

Excuseme?

Yousaidthatshehadthebestdoctorsintheworld.Shealsohassomeofthebestnursesintheworldlookingafterher.

Amitslipspuckeredintosomethingresemblingasmile.Yes,Caelyn,thebestmedicalprofessionalsintheworldareheretomakesureyouhaveafullrecoveryaspossible.Howdoesthatsound,Caelyn?Isthatgood?

Shewantedtonodherhead,butsheonlyblinked.Shejustneededtosleepnow.

Theybelievedhertheyknewshedawokenfromhercoma.

Ineedtorunafewtests,Caelyn,Amitsaid.Imsurethatyoureconfusedandtired,andperhapsalittlescaredthatsomeofyourmotorfunctionshavenotyetreturned.

Thisisallperfectlyokay.Youreintheverybeginningstagesofthisthing.Youhadatraumaticbraininjuryandyourevery lucky tobealive.Sonowitsgoing to takesometimeandeffort tobegin thehealingprocess.Doyouunderstandme?

Shewantedhimtojuststoptalking,butitwascomfortingtohearhimsaythosethings.Shetriedtosayyes.Andoncemore,allthatcamefromherlipswasawhisperofamoan.

Helenclappedherhands.Shestryingtoansweryou!

Amitclaspedhishandsbehindhisback.Shecertainlyseemedtobetryingtospeak.Heglanceddownatherhands.Canyoumoveafingerforme,Caelyn?

Caelynswallowed.Thiswastorture,wasntit?Justkeepinghereyesopenwaslikerunningthelastmileofamarathon,andherethismanwastellinghertoactuallymoveanentirefinger!Butsheputhermindtoit.

Justmoveyourfinger,Caelyn.Itseasy.Ababycandoit.

She focused all her attention on her left hand, the one thatwas visible to the doctor.And itwas asthoughanenormousweight,aboulder,hadfallenonherhand,crushingitbeneathitsweight.

Justmakealittlemovementforthedoctor,thatsit,andthenyoucanstop.

Sweatbrokeoutonherforehead.Herpulsewaspickingup,evidencedbythebeepingfromthemonitorstartingtoincrease.

Helennoticedit.Shesstraining,Helensaid.

AmitglancedatthemonitorandthenbacktoCaelyn.Justonefingerandwellstopfornow.

Shecouldfeelherselftremblinginsidefromthestrainofit.Butwiththepromiseofbeingabletostoppushing so hard if she accomplished what was asked of her, Caelyn made the extra effort and puteverythingshehadtowardsmovingherindexfingeroffthebed.

Justwhenshethoughtshewouldhavetogiveup,justwhenshewascertainthatnothingwouldmoveafter all, her index finger started to rise. Before she knew it, Caelyn had lifted her finger so that itseemedtobepointingtowardsherfeet.

Beautifullydone,Amitsaid.

Herfingerdroppedtothebed,andsheclosedhereyes.

Ithinkthatwasreallyhardforher,Helensaid.

Yes, and a lot of itwill be hard in the coming days, the doctor replied. Excuseme, I should godiscusshercasewiththeattendingphysician.

Caelynwasjusthappytofinallybeabletorest.

Justrest,thatsallIwant,shethought.

Butitwasntreallytruethatrestwasallshewanted.Therewassomethingno,someoneelse.

Elijah.

Hisnamewaslikeaprayer.Elijah.

***

Wakingupwasdifferentnow.

Hereyespoppedopentofindhalfadozendoctorscircledaroundherbed,watchingher.Oneofthem,anoldermanwithwhitehair,remindedherofAlbertEinstein.Hesteppedforwardandspokedirectlytoher.

HiCaelyn,mynameisDoctorGoldfarb.Itsgoodtoseeyouawake.Canyouhearandunderstandme?Youcananswerverballyorjustnodifthatseasierrightnow.

Caelynswallowed.Shewasconfused,tryingtorememberwhereshewasandhowshedgottenthere.

Then,afteralittlestruggletorecallthedetails,itfloodedbacktoher.

Iminthehospital.IwasinacomaandnowImcomingoutofit.

AndwhataboutElijah?Hedcometovisitoncethatsheknewof,butshehadntseenhimsince.

Caelyn?Dr.Goldfarbsaid.Canyouunderstandme?

Shetriedtospeakandfounditdifficult,soshetriedtonodherheadinstead.Ittookafewseconds,butthenshefoundherheadslowlymovingupanddown.Ittookalotofenergytomakeithappen.

Verygood,Caelyn,theolddoctorsaid.Hehadahabitofrubbinghisoilynoseasifhehadtosneezeandwastryingtoholditback.

Dr.Goldfarbbegantoexplaintoherthatshedbeeninacoma,whichshealreadyknew.Thenhestartedtellingheraboutthenatureoftraumaticbraininjuries,andhowtheywereverydifficulttorecoverfrom.Hementioned something about the Glasgow Coma Scale and some other scale and test, none ofwhichmeantanythingtoher.

Buttheotherdoctorswerenoddingalongwithwhateverhewassaying,soshesupposeditmusthavebeenimportant.

Weregoingtohavetostartwithyourrehabilitationimmediately,Caelyn,

Goldfarbsaid,rubbinghisnoseandthenwipinghishandonhislabcoat.Studieshavefoundthatthebiggestgainscomeinthefirstdaysandweeksfollowinganinjurysuchasyours.Wewanttofacilitateasmuchhealingimmediatelyasishumanlypossible.Doesthatmakesense?

Shenodded.

Yourfamilyisveryexcitedaboutthefactthatyouvewokenup,soweregoingtobelettingthemintoseeyouinjustamoment.Wouldyoulikethat?

Goldfarbwaited expectantly for her to nodher approval. Shedidnt nod, and the doctors exchangedglances.

Seemsconfused,someonemuttered.

Probablyjusttired,Goldfarbreplied.

Imnottired,Caelynthought.Well,Iamtired.Butthatsnotit.ItsnotmymotherandfatherandnotDeenathatIwanttosee.

IneedElijah.Whereishe?Whyisnthehere?

Sheopenedhermouthandhervoicecameoutslowlyandveryweakly,likeanoldcreakydoorthatwasjustfallingopenafteryearsofnotbeingused.

EhEh.li.

Thedoctorsmovedforward,allat thesametime, inorder tohearhermoreclearly. Itwouldvebeenfunnyifshehadntbeenfightingsohardjusttosayasimpleword.

Eli..jah.

What?Goldfarbsaid,steppingcloserandleaningnexttohermouth.Donttryandproject,Caelyn.Youcanwhisperitintomyear.

HeturnedhishairyeartowardshermouthandCaelynsummonedadeepbreath.

Elijah,shetriedtoyell,onlyitreallydidcomeoutasawhisper.Andaftershedsaidhisname,shecollapsedinonherself,onceagainfeelinglikeshedbeenrunningforhours.

ShesaidElijah,Dr.Goldfarbannounced,straighteningandfacingtheotherdoctors.

Oneoftheotherdoctorsraisedtheirhand.Maybethatstheanameofarelative.

No,thatsthenameoftheguyshewaswithwhenshehadheraccident,afemaledoctorsaid.Iwasinhisroomacoupleofdaysago.Gunshotwound,minorheadtrauma.

Washereleased?Goldfarbasked.

I believe hewas released after a few days, as the bullet did very little internal damageno organinvolvement.

Well,wecanseeaboutcontactinghim,Dr.Goldfarbreplied.

Ithinkhesbeeninthewaitingroomrightnow,anotherdoctorsaid.

Everyoneturnedtothatdoctor.

Dr.Goldfarblookedintentlyatthephysician.Howlonghashebeeninthewaitingroom?

Inoticedhimearlierandaskedabouthim,becauseIthoughtitseemedstrange.

Hesbeeninthewaitingroomeverydayforhours,sittingthere,Isuppose,untilshewokeup.

Caelyncouldntbelieveit.Elijahhadbeentherewaitingforherallalong.

Emotionswelledupinsideherchestandshefeltadamnburstandthenthereweretearsstreamingdown

hercheeks.

Shescrying,someonesaid.

Dr.Goldfarbcametowardsher,hisfaceamaskofconcern.Dontworry,Caelyn,itsgoingtobeokay.Youresafehere.

Elijah,shewhispered.Itwasdifficulttodo,butsheneededthemtoknowhowimportanthetrulywastoher.

Dr.Goldfarbstraightened,rubbinghisnosebrieflybeforedeciding.Okay,wellhavethisElijahpersonbroughttoherroomrightaway.

Doctor,Ibelievetheresanissuewiththeparents

Shesofage,Doctor

They all gathered closely together andbegan conferring.ButGoldfarb smileddownatCaelynwhentheywerefinished.Wellbebackinamoment,hesaid,andpattedherhand.Youjustrest.

Shedidntwanttorest.ShewantedElijah.

Caelynfelttheurgetoscream,tothrashaboutandhaveatantrum.IfElijahwasinthehospitalwaitingtoseeher,thentheyhadtobringhimin.Itwasntfairtoleavehiminthewaitingroom,especiallynotwhenshedaskedforhim.

ThedoctorslefttheroomandCaelynwaited,tearsstillstreamingdownhercheeks.

Afterwhatseemedlikehours,someoneapproachedtheroom.CaelynheardfootstepscomingcloserandherheartbeatbegantospeedupinanticipationofElijahcominginandseeingherawake.

Shecouldntwaittolookintohiseyesandsmile,lethimknowthatshewasawareofthesacrificeshedmade.Shewantedtoshowhimthatshelovedhimnomatterwhathappened.

HaveIeverevenadmittedthatIlovehim?Shewondered.

Well,IlltellhimnowifIcan.

OnlyitwasntElijahthatwalkedintotheroom.ItwashermotherandfatherandDeena.

Theyworeanxiousexpressionsontheirfaces.HermothersawCaelynandburstintotears.

Deenatriedtoconsoleher,butDeenasfacewaspinchedandherskinblotchywithanger.

Ofcourse,Caelyn thoughtDeenahatedwhensomeoneelsewasgettingattention.Mom, itsokay.Itsgoingtobefine,Deenaconsoled.

Mybaby,hermothercriedout,andthenranandthrewherarmsaroundCaelyn.

SheburiedherheadinCaelynsshoulderandsobbedintotheclothofherhospitalgown.

Caelyns eyes shifted down towatch, but she could only see the top of hermothers headthe finehairs,thescalpbeneathandthenhermotherlookedupatCaelynthroughrunnymascara.

Yourereallyawake,shesniffed.Baby,yourealive.

Caelynlickedherlips.

Ithinkshesgoingtotalk,Caelynsfathersaid.

Herparentswatchedherwithbatedbreath,whileDeenarolledhereyesskywardandmadeafacelikeshedjustbeenforcedtoeataspoonfulofdirt.

Elijah,Caelynsaid.

What?Hermotherflinchedbackwardsasifshedbeenslapped.

Caelynsfatherwasmortified.Hisjawtrembled.

Deenalookedpositivelytriumphant.ShejustsaidElijah.Canyoubelieveshesaskingforhim?Aftereverythingthatshappened?

Butwhy?Why? hermother said. I cant understandwhy shewould say his name, out of all thethingsshecouldsaytome.

Maybeshehatesyou,Deenasaid.

CaelynsmotherandfatherlookedatDeena,whojustshrugged.

Shedoesnthateyou,Caelynsfathersaid,rubbinghermothersshoulders.

Sheshurt,confusedshejustcameoutofacoma.Sheshardlyinanyframeofmindtoknowwhatshessaying.

Ithinksheknows,Deenasaid.

Caelyntookabreathandforcedmoreairfromherlungsandintoherthroat.

ELIJAH,shesaidagain,andthistimeshepracticallyyelledhisname.

Icantlistentothis,hermothersaid.

Elijah,Caelynreplied.Themonitorforherheartratewasbeepingfasterandfaster.Elijah.Shetookanotherbreath.Elijah!

Deenapulledouthercellphone.Willsomeoneshutherup?

Anurseenteredtheroom.Iseverythingokay?

No,itsnot,Caelynsmothersaid.Quitefrankly,weneedtoexplaintothestaffherethattheresadangerousyoungmanthatmydaughterkeepsaskingtosee.

ThenurselookedtoCaelyn.Shesaskingforsomeone?Isntshecomatose?

No,shesoutofhercoma.

Andcrazierthanever,Deenamuttered.

ELIJAH!Caelynyelled.Herheartwasracing.Sweatbeadsdrippeddownherforehead.Shedneverexpendedsomuchenergyoversuchasmallthingasspeakingsomeonesname.

Itseemedlikeshemightactuallydiefromtalking,thatshowharditwas.

Butangerwasawonderfulfuel.

ThenursetookinthesceneandturnedherattentiontoCaelynsfamily.Canyouallstepoutsidewithmeforamoment,please?

Thefourofthemwalkedout,leavingCaelynalone,straining,tearscomingfromthecornersofhereyes.

Sometimewentby,andthenCaelynsmothercameinalone.Shelookedolder,frailersomehow,asifshedagedadecadeinthelastfewdays.ShewalkedtoCaelynsbedsideandstaredcoldlydownather.Weregoinghomenow,Caelyn.Obviouslyyoudontwant toseeusat themoment.Butyouremydaughter and Ill do everything in my power to protect you. I explained to the nurse that Elijah isdangerousandthatyourenotcapableyetofbeingfullyunderstood.Assuch,werestill inchargeofyourcare,anditsmydecisionthathenotbeallowedtovisitwithyou.

Caelynbegantoshakeasshewatchedhermothersunforgivingface.

Howdareyou?Shewantedtoscream.HowdareyoumakethatdecisionwhenyouknowhowbadlyIwanttoseehim?

Butshecouldntactuallysayanyofthat.Hermouthstrainedtospeak.Shemoaned,herlipsshudderingassheattemptedtoformafullsentence.

Hermotherpattedhershoulder.Ithinkyoushouldjusttryandrest,Caelyn.

Wellcomebacktomorrow.Everythingsgoingtobefine.Illmakesureofit.

***

Thetimepassedslowly.Acrawlwasmuchtoofasttodescribethenatureoftimepassingwhilelyinginahospitalbed.

EvenwhenCaelynwassleeping,timedidntseemtomoveinthesamewayasithadpreviously.

Andwhenshewokeup,itbecameevenmoretortuous.Secondstickedby,andherroomwassosilent.SometimesanursewouldcomeintofiddlewithCaelynsIV.

Shealsohadafeedingtube,andtheyoftentoldher that lifewouldbemuchmorepleasantwhenshestartedeatingsolids.

Thefrustrationwasbuilding.Shestartedmakingnoiseandmovingherhandinsteadofjustherfinger,eventhougheverylittlethingshedidtookatremendousamountofenergyawayfromher.

Shelayinbed,sweating,movingherhandandmoaning,occasionallysayingElijahsname.

Thenursescooedandsoothedher,tellingherthatitwasallrightandnottobesoupset.

Lateatnight,thingsgotfrightening.

WhatifthisisasmuchasIcanevertalk?Shewondered.Herthoughtsweredarkandtheroomaroundherreflectedthedarknesssomehow.Everythingwasgreenish,tintedanddistorted.

WhatifImneverallowedtoseeElijahagain?Theyrekeepinghimfromme

keepingusfromoneanother.JustwhenIneedhimthemost,hesnothere.

Shethoughtofhim,ofhissmile,andhiskindeyes,thewayhelookedatherthewayhekissedher.

ShethoughtofElijahandthetearscamedown,andshemoanedlikeabeatenanimal.

***

Thenextmorning,oneofhernursescameintocheckhervitals,smilinghappily.

Hellobeautiful,Iseeyoureawakebrightandearly,thewomansaid.

Caelynliftedherhandandbeganflappingit,thebestshecoulddotoshowherexasperation.Shetookadeepbreathandliftedherheadslightly.Elijah.

Thenursestoppedinhertracks.Theyoungmanwhoyouwereintheaccidentwith?shesaid.

Caelynswallowed,droppedherheadtothepillowandnoddedinreliefthatshedmadeherselfclear.

Wereunderinstructionnottoletanyonebutyourparentsandsisterintoseeyou.

Caelynwantedtoroarherdisapprovalbut itwasimpossible.Herhandscurledintofistsandshebeatthemagainstthebed.

Listen, you need to calm down.You cant getworked up like this.Were going to give you someAtivantorelaxyoualittle,Caelyn.

Shelickedherlips,anxiousnow.Please,shewhispered.Help.

Buthervoicewasntstrong,andthenursewasdeterminedtoviewherassomekindofpathetic,braindeadbasketcase.

Amomentlater,thenursewasgivinghersomethingthroughherIVitmusthavebeenAtivan.

Notlongafter,Caelynfellasleepagain.

Whensheawoke,theredheadednursewasbacktheonewhohadinitiallydiscoveredthatCaelynhadcomeoutofhercoma.Shewashumming,carryingthebasinwiththewashcloth.

Helen,Caelynsaid.

Helendroppedherbasinwithalittleyelp.OhmyGod!

Helen,Caelynsaidagain,tryingtokeepthepowerinhervoice.

Youknowmyname,sweetie?

Caelynclosedhereyesbrieflyandnodded,thenopenedhereyes.Sheneededtokeepherstrength,asexhaustingasthewholethingwas.Help,shesaidsoftly.

Whatsthat?Helenasked,walkingcloserandleaningin.Sayitagain,honey.

Help.Me.

ShelookedatCaelynwithwideeyes.OfcourseIllhelpyou.Butwhatswrong?Canyoutellme?

Caelynbreatheddeeply fora fewmoments.Thiswasexhausting,andshewas runningoutofenergyoncemore,whichwasfrustratinginandofitself.Shecouldntunderstandhowitcouldbesohardtodosuchsimplethings,butitwas.

Finally,shehadtheenergytospeakagain.Elijah.Please.Please.

Yourfriend?Theboyinthewaitingroom?

Caelyn gasped for air, nodding, her eyes desperate andwide. If the nurse rejected her plea like theothers,shedidntknowwhatsheddo.

ButHelensimplynoddedcurtly.Illberightback.Holdtight,darling.

Andthenshebrisklymovedoutoftheroom,walkingwithapurpose.

Afewminuteswentby,andeachsecondwasliketorture,waitingtoseeifHelenhadmerelygonetoasksomeauthorityfigureifElijahcouldvisit.IfHelenhaddonethat,Caelynknewitwasbeover.

Nobodywasgoingtolethimvisitherintheconditionshewasin,notaslongasherparentswereinchargeofhercare.

But just when shed truly begun to lose hope of anyone coming back at all, there were voices andfootstepsapproaching.

Icouldgetinbigtrouble,youknow.Soplease

Igetit.Illneversayaword,thefamiliarvoicereplied.

I cant be in there with you, Helen said. If someone asks, Ill say you snuck in there againsteveryoneswishes.Includingmine.

Thankyouforgettingme,hesaid.Thankyousomuch.

Hurryup,anddontstaytoolong.

Afewsecondslater,Elijahturnedthecornerintoherroom.Caelyncouldntbelievehereyes,andthetearscamequicklytothem,embarrassingher.

ThankGod,youreawake,hesaid,rushingtoherbedside.Assoonashecroucheddownbesideher,shecouldsmellhim.Hisscentwasunmistakable,comforting,likeafavoriteshirt,likeabeautifuldaythatwouldneverfadefrommemory.

Hishandcoveredherhandandsqueezed.

Elijah,shewhispered,stillsmiling.Herheartwassoaringinherchest,andshewantedtojumpintohisarms.

Pleasejusttakemeoutofthishellhole.Takemewithyou,Elijah.Breakmefree.

Elijahhadtearsinhiseyestoo.Heswallowed.IIthoughtmaybeIdlostyouforever.

No,shesaid.Nnever.

Hegrithisteeth.Thenheleanedinandkissedhercheeksoftly.Shecouldsmellandfeelhisskin,andifshecouldhave,shedhavetoldhimnevertomove.

Juststayclose,likethis,shethought.Justkeepyourlipsonmyskin.

Imnevergoingtoletanythinghappentoyouagain,hesaid.Icantbelievethisisallmyfault.Helookeddownandshookhishead,hisbodycoiledwithrageandfrustration.

Hewaswearingablackt-shirtandjeans,andheseemedalmostfine,excepthehadbruisesbig,darkdiscolorationsofpurpleandgreenandredalonghisarmsandneckandunderbotheyes.Hehadstitchesalongthreeorfourcutsonhisfaceoneonhischeek,anotheronhischin,andanotherstillacrosshisforehead.Othersmallercutswerehealingwithoutstitches.

HestilllookedbeautifulasevertoCaelyn.Ifanything,thecutsandbruisesaddedanewdimensiontohishandsomeness.NowshethoughtElijahlookedslightlywiser.

Hiseyesstudiedhers.Youretired,hesaid.

Shenoddedslowly.

Youdonthavetostayawake,then.Rest.

No,shewhispered.

BecauseImhere?heasked.

Shesighed.Yesss...

Hetookherhandinbothofhisandkissedherknuckles.Ishouldstayherealldaybyyourside,hetoldher.ThatswhatIwanttodo.ButIcantstay,becauseifIdo,Illgetthatnurseintrouble.AndtheymightkickmeoutofthewholehospitalandthenIllnevergettoseeyou.

Herheartpoundedinfearthathewasleavingagainsosoon.Shegrabbedhishandtightlywithherown,holdingonfordearlife.

No,shesaid.

Caelyn,IllcomebackassoonasIcan,hetoldher.IllwaituntilIseeanopening,whennooneswatching,andIllcomevisit.

Ohoh.kay.Thelastsyllablenearlykilledhertosay.Shewastotallyandutterlyspent.

Hekissedheragain,thistimeonthelips,andshekissedhimbackasbestshecould,relishingthesmellandtasteofhim.Shetastedsaltandcinnamon.

Caelynwasdriftingagain.

Somehow, she was together with Elijah and everything was fine. They were laughing, walking theperfectsandybeachofSiestaKey.

Itwassorealthatshethoughtitmustbehappening.

Thefeelofthesandbetweenhertoes.Thedolphinsswimmingintheocean,thelightofthesunglintingofftheirfins.

Anotherpartofherknewthatitwasntreal.

ButsomedaysomedayElijahandIaregoingtogotothatbeachandwalktogether.Somedaysoon.

***

Shewasignoringherparentsandsister.

Theydcome intoher roommakingnoise, chattingawayandwakingheroutofadeepandpeacefulsleepwhereshedbeendreamingaboutElijah.Thathadbeenmuchpreferabletowhatshedawokento,andshejustwantedtogoback.

Deenaputinherheadphonesandsatdowninachair,listeningtosomethingonheriPod.Meanwhile,Caelynsmotherandfathercametoherbedsideandspoketoherasthoughshewasaninfant.

Hello,mygirl,hermothersaid,strokingherhair.

Caelynrolledhereyesandturnedherheadaway,butshecouldntgetawayverywell.

Sheseemsagitated,herfathersaid.

Well,thedoctormentionedthatasaverycommonsymptomwithaTBI.

Yeah,IguessImstillhavingtroublebelievingit.Imeanbraindamage?Isitpossible?

Clearlyshesveryconfused,hermothersaidinanannoyedtone.Shecanhardlyevenspeak.

Caelynwasgoingtotellhermotheroff,butshelackedtheenergytodoso.IfElijahcamebacklaterinthe day, shewanted to save her enthusiasm and effort for interactingwith him, not people that onlywantedtobringherdown.

Itkillsmetoseeherthisway,herfathersaid,chokingonthewords.

Wellgethertoagoodrehabilitationfacilityandtheyregoingtogetherbacktohealth.

Caelyn,weregoingtomakesureyouretakengoodcareof,herdadsaid,speakinglouderthanheneededto.

Shepuffedoutherlipsandblewwithannoyance.Theyreallyhadnoclue.Theyactuallythoughtshewas severely brain damaged.Maybe shewas somewhat damaged, but every hour she felt hermindcomingbackmoreandmore.

Iftheywerentgoingtotakethetimetofigureitout,thatwasjustfinewithher.

Letthemassumetheveryworst.

Wejustneedtokeephimoutofhere,hermothermurmured.

Listen,thatsnotwhatweshouldbefocusingon,Caelynsdadreplied.

Youvegotthisbeeinyourbonnetabouthim

NowCaelynsmothersvoicegrewloud.Becausehenearlykilledmydaughter.

Ourdaughter.

Thepointis,hesstilloutinthewaitingroom,hangingaroundlikesomelunaticstalker.

Wecantverywellstophimfromsittinginawaitingroomifthatswhathewantstodo.

Caelyngroanedinfrustration.

Honey,whatswrong?hermotherasked.

Caelynignoredherquestion,keepingherheadturnedaway.Afteramoment,therewasabriefknockonthedoor.

Hi,there,awomansvoicecalledout.

Areyouanurse?Caelynsfatherasked.

Actually,Iworkinthephysicaltherapydepartmentofthehospital,andImheretomeetwithCaelyntoday.

Oh, Caelyns dad said, his voice becoming excited. We were just talking about rehabilitation,werentwe?

MynamesMonroe.

Oh,thatsaprettyname,Caelynsfathersaid.

Caelyn heard hermothermake an annoyed sound. My daughters basically still very confused andalmosttotallynon-communicative.

Imjustgoingtosayhiandmaybeaskherafewquestions,seewhereshesat.

Caelynkeptherheadturnedaway.Shehadnointerestinmeetinganyonenewrightnow,oransweringquestions.ShewasntgoingtoansweranyonebutElijahfromnowon.

HiCaelyn,thegirlchirpedfromnearby.Canyouturnyourheadtowardme?

Shesnonresponsive,asyoucansee,Caelynsmothercontinued.

ThatmadeCaelynangryenoughtoturnherheadandlookrightatMonroe,whowasapetiteblondgirlwithpaleskinandabright,widesmile.Herhazeleyeswere largeand immediately friendly.Seemsresponsivetome,Monroesaidbrightly.

Caelyngrinnedather.Thanks,shewhispered.

Shesawherparentsexchangeglancesfromthecornerofhereye.Itwasalmostas thoughtheyweredisappointedshecouldspeakandunderstand.

So,youvebeenthroughtheringer,huh?theblondgirlsaid,comingcloserandpeeringatCaelynsface.SheglanceddownatCaelynsbody.Canyoumoveyourfingersandtoes,wigglethemforme?

Caelynsighed.Shehadntwantedthis,notnow.Ifshestartedtryingtomove,soonshedbefastasleepagainandthenshedhavewastedherchancetobealertandawakeincaseElijahreturnedlateron.

Butshedidntwanttogiveherparentsmorereasontoclaimshewasaconfused,braindeadvictim.

Soshetriedherbesttowiggleherfingersandtoes.

Shewasableto,inafashion.Afiveyearoldwouldhavebeenembarrassedathowpoorlyshedidit.Butthepointwas,shedidmoveherhandsandfeetalittlebit.

Wow,thatsawesome!Idgiveyouahighfive,butthatmightbeaskingabitmuch,Monroesaid.

Caelynnoddedweakly.

Shehasntdoneanythinglikethatinthetimewevebeenhere,Caelynsdadsaid.Whysshedoingitnow?

MonroelookedfromCaelyntoherparentsandbackagain.Caelynfeltherownfacegrowinghotwithannoyanceandbitterness.Hereyesnarrowedandsheturnedherheadaway.

Well,Monroesaid,itcouldbealotofthings.Thisisaverytrickytime,whenapatientfirstcomesoutofacoma.Shesprobablyconfused,sad,worried,andverytired.Ittakesalotofeffortforhertodosimpletasks,butthatdoesntmeanshecantdothem.AndfromwhatImseeing,Caelyndoeshavealotofverbalfunction.Whetheritsallintact,wecantknowyet.Butwellworktofindout.

CaelynturnedandlookedatMonroeagain.Thankyou.

Youreverywelcome.ShebrushedastrandofhairfromCaelynsface.AndyoutellmewhatIcandotohelpyou.Okay?Ifyouneedanything

Elijah,shesaid,hervoicemorecontrolledandpowerfulnow.

Excuseme?thegirlasked.

Oh,forgoodnesssakehermotherpracticallyyelled.

Now,calmdown,Caelynsdadreplied.

Deenahadfinallytakenherheadphonesoff.Didshejustaskforhimagain?

Thatslikeallsheknowshowtosaynow.Brokenrecord,anyone?

MonroestaredatDeenawithashockedexpression.Sorry,Imunawareofwhothispersonis.ShesbeenaskingforElijah?

Hestheguywhodidthattoher,Deenasaid,pointingatCaelyn.

Monroesjawdroppedopen.HehegaveheraTBI?

Well,IdontknowwhataTBIisbut,yeah,hebasicallyturnedherintoavegetable.Thatswhymymomgetssoupsetwhenshehearshisname.

Monroeputahandonherhip.Didthemanbeather?IthoughtIdreadthatshewasinacaraccident.

Caelynsmothershookherhead.No,hedidntbeather.Buthewasinvolvedincriminalactivityandhedroveintoastreetpole.Heshouldhavebeenarrestedforsomething,buttheyhaventchargedhimyetandhesstillloiteringaroundthehospital,stalkingourdaughter.

Wow, thatsverystrange,Monroe said. By theway, she toldDeena, TBI stands for traumaticbraininjury.

Whatever,Deenasaid.Imgoingtogotothecafeteria,okayMom?Deenawalkedout,puttingherphonetoherearandalreadystartingtotalktosomeoneloudlyassheleft.

SothisElijahpersonthatshesaskingfor,yourecertainthatitsbadforhertoseehim?Monroesaid.Becausenormallyinthistypeofcircumstance,Iwouldmakesuretobringthepersonaround.Itsveryimportant that someonewhos had this kind of injury be around people that give them comfort andmotivatethem.

No,no,no,Caelynsmothersaid,shakingherhead.Hesaconvict.Hesliterallyoutonparole,andhesviolentanddangerous.

Buthesinthishospital?

Yes,hesitsinthatwaitingroom,almostasiftotauntusthatwecantstophim.

Monroesighed.Listen,ImnotawareofalltheintricaciesofCaelynssituation.

ButIveseenlotsofscenarioswherepeoplewhodontgetalongatallareforcedtospendtimetogetherinthehospital.

Wellthisisntoneofthosescenarios.

MonroemetCaelynsmothersgazewitha firmness thatwasa little surprising, coming fromsuchasunny,innocentperson.Ithinkthisactuallyisoneofthosescenarios,Mrs.Murphy.

***

Tocallitawkwardwasanunderstatement.

Monroehadexplained toCaelynsmother that itwas time to letElijah into thehospital room.ShedtoldCaelynsparents innouncertain terms that theirdaughterwasexpressingfirmly thatshewantedElijah to visit. Unless they proved to a court that Caelyn was no longer mentally competent, theycouldntstandinthewayofherhavinghimintheroom.

Notlongafter,Elijahcamebackforgood.

Caelynsfamilybasicallyignoredhim.Well,Deenadidntignorehimexactly

shemadeherlittlejabsandcommentstotryandgetunderhisskin.

Elijahdidntseemtocare.

Fromthemomenthewasallowedintoherroom,hewasfocusedcompletelyonCaelyn.Immediately,hewasatherside.Areyouokay?heasked.

Shenoddedgratefully,squeezinghishandwhenheplaceditonhers.

Tired,shewhispered.

Dontoverdoit,Elijahsaid,smiling.Weregoingtohaveplentyoftimetogether,sojusttakeiteasy,kid.

Immediately she felt her entire body relaxing in a way that hadnt happened until now. A smile ofcompleteandutterhappinesscameoverherface.

Everyone in the roomsaw it, includingMonroe,whowalkedover and looked atElijah. Youreherperson,shesaidtohim.

Imherperson?hereplied.

WhensomeonegoesthroughanordeallikewhatCaelynsbeenthrough,theyneedsomeonetoleanonsomeone to motivate them and give them strength when they feel they cant walk another step.Youreherperson.

Henodded.Ihopeso.

Itsabigresponsibility,Elijah.Ihopeyoutakeitseriously.

Ofcourse.HestudiedMonroesfaceasiftryingtoseewhatherhiddenmotivesmightbe.IstheresomereasonwhyyouthinkIwouldnttakeitseriously?

ImjustmakingsureyougetthatCaelynneedsyoutobestrongandstableanddependable.Nofunnybusiness.

Elijahalmostgrinned,andCaelyncouldtellhewasoffendedbywhatMonroewasimplyingabouthischaracter.Butheseemedtogetcontrolofhistemper.Nofunnybusiness,heagreed.

Deenasnorted.Goodluckwiththat,shemuttered.

Butstrangely,afterthat,CaelynwassurprisedtofindthattherewasverylittleoutwardconflictbetweenElijahandherfamily.

Infact,theyalmostseemedtobeworkingtogetherasateam.

Overthenextfewdays,eachofthemmaintainedacertainschedule,andwhenElijahwouldgototakealongbreak,grababitetoeatatthehospitalcafeteriaorsomethingherparentsandDeenawouldshowupandtakeoverforawhile.

Itwasnt that theysataroundanddiscusseddoing it thatwayit justseemed tohappennaturally.Arhythmdeveloped.

Itwas clear that somethinghad shiftedonceCaelynhadmadeherwishesknown to everyone.Onceshed shown that nobody could forceElijahout of her hospital room, everything seemed to fall intoplace.

Elijahwasherpersonhewastheonewhostayedalmostconstantlybyherside.

Themomentvisitinghoursstartedinthemorning,hewasthere,walkingintoherroomwithasmileanda cupof coffee.After a fewdays hadgoneby and shed begun eating anddrinkingonher own, healwaysbroughtasecondcupofcoffeeforheraswell.

Hedstayallmorning,workingwithherontheexercisesthatthehospitalstaffgavehertodoinordertobuildherstrength.Elijahwasataskmaster,andhehadalarmssetonhisphonetoremindthemtodotherequiredexerciseseveryhalfhour.

Thefunoneswerewordgameslittlegoofythingstohelpgethermouthworkingfasterandremindingthosecircuitsbetweenhermindandherbodytobegintothrowoffthecobwebs.

Soon, shewas able tohold a normal conversation, althoughher voicewas stillweak and shewouldoftenbetiredafterafewminutesoftalking.

Thehardexercisesweregettinguptoasittingposition,lyingbackdown,thenpullingherselfupagain.

Fromsitting, shehad to stand, thenmove toachair, thenstand, thensit.Shedid the repetitions likesomeoneworkingoutatthegym,andtheywereashardasanygymexercisesshedeverdone.

Justacoupleofminutesofsittingandstandingoverandoveragainwereenoughtowipeherout.

Eventuallyshedidslowlapsaroundthecircularhallway,movingaroundthenursesstationwithElijahguidingher.Ittookheraboutfifteenminutetodoasinglelapinthebeginning.

ButhavingElijahwithherwhileshewentthroughhellandbacksomehowmadeitallalittlebiteasier.

Thereweremomentsshegottestywithhim,though.

Onemorningshedwokenupwithacoldontopofeverythingelse.

Heysleepyhead,Elijahsaidasheenteredthehospitalroomcarryinghisusualtwocupsofcoffee.Hesetthesmallcupdowninfrontofher,andshemadeaface.

Nothanks,shemuttered,pushingitawayandturningontoherside.

Imadeitjustthewayyoulikeit.

Itsmellsburnt.

Ithinkitsmellslikeitsmellseveryday.Imdrinkingthesamestuff.

Sheturnedoveragainandglaredathim.Stopbeingsofake,Elijah.

Heraisedhiseyebrowsatherashesippedhiscoffee,sittingonaplasticchairnearherbed.Fake?Ihavenoideawhatyouretalkingabout.

Thatchippervoiceyoureusing.Itssonotyou.

Hesmirked.Okay,kid.

Its not okay, actually, she said. Dont you think we should both admit that my situation totallysucks?Shesneezedandthenslappedherhandonthebed.Ineedatissue.Dammit.Shesniffed,thensneezedagain.

Chuckling,Elijahwentandgrabbedaboxoftissuesfromnearbyandbroughtittoher.Youwokeuponthewrongsideofthebed.

Imsick.

Youthinkyouhaveafever?Heleanedoverandputhiswarmhandonherforehead.Youdontfeelhotoranything.

Mysinusesareallblocked,shewhined.

Thatsucks,hesaid.

Youdontevencare.SheknewshewasbeingajerktoElijah,butsomehowshecouldntstopherself.Nobodygetsit.Everyonethinksthisiseasy,butitsnot.

Caelyn,nobodythinksitseasyforyou.

Theybothfellsilent.Shelayinbedandblewhernose,crumplingtissuesupandtossingthemintothewastepaperbasketnearherbed.Afewjustbouncedandfellonthefloorinstead.Hernosewasstuffyandherheadachedworsethanusual.

Elijahsatandcalmlydrankhiscoffee.

Andthenthealarmonhisphonewentoff,andhestoodup.Okay,kid.Youreadytogetstarted?

Shelookedupathimwithsomethingapproachingrage.Imnotdoingthat,Elijah.Imnotdoingthosestupidfuckingexercisesrightnow.

Caelyn,wehaveto

Youdonthavetodoanything.Idoitall.

Fine,hesaid,stillthepictureofcalm.Youhavetodothis.Otherwiseyourenotgoingtoimproveandheal.RememberwhatMonroetoldus?

Idontcare.Hereyesnarrowed.Justleavemethehellalone.Imsofuckingsickofthis!ShethrewtheboxofKleenexathimanditbouncedoffhiselbow.

Theystaredatoneanotherforalongmoment,bothstunnedatwhatshedjustdone.AndthenElijahsliptwitchedandhestartedlaughing.Iknowthatwasntsupposedtobefunny,hesaid.

ThenCaelynrealizedhowsillyshewasacting,andshestartedlaughingwithhim.

Bothofthemwereturningred,laughingharderandharder.Soon,neitherofthemcouldstop.Itwasasiftheywerelaughingtogetherinsteadofsobbing.

Elijahwentoverandhuggedher,kissinghercheek.Yourehysterical,youknowthat?

IthinkImgoingcrazy.

Itsokayifyoudo.Temporarily,anyway.

Whatifitspermanent?

Itsnot.Ipromise.Hesmiledather,rubbinghisthumbacrosshercheek.

Shesighed.Okay,letsstarttheexercises.

Somehow,Elijahalwaysfoundawaytomakewhatwashappeningokay.Hefoundawaytomakeherlaugh,toforceasmiletoherface,evenwhensomeseriousdoctorwastellingheraboutallthepossiblelongtermeffectsofhavingatraumaticbraininjury.

Herefusedtoletherwallowindespair,andasaresult,shewasimprovingquickly.

Thedoctors said theydnever seen a patient comeout of a comaand recover as quickly as shewasrecovering.

Duringoneofthefinaltreatmentteammeetings,DoctorGoldfarb,theneurologistinchargeoftheteam,saiditsimply.

Caelyns been an absolutely model patient. Shes inspired everyone whos worked with her. Dr.Goldfarbbrieflyrubbedthetipofhisnoseandthenlookedaroundtoseeifanyonehadanythingtoaddbeforecontinuing.WethinkthatthetimehascometotalkaboutdischargingCaelyn,andhowtoplanforhercontinuingrehabilitation.

Aroundthetablesattherestoftheteam,whichincludedMonroeandAmitRamachandranandoneoftheothernurses.Caelyn,ElijahandCaelynsmotherandfatherwerealsointheroomtohearwhatthenextstepswere.

Thisisfabulous,Caelynsdadsaid.Hewipedhiseyes.Imean,wheneverythingfirsthappened,wefeltlikeherlifewasover.Thewayshelookedthatfirstdaywesawherhisvoicebrokeoffashechokedbacktears.

CaelynsqueezedElijahshand.ShewassittingnexttoElijah,leaningagainsthimandtryingherbesttostaycomposed.Justsittingupinachairforthislongwasamajoradventureforher,butsheknewshehadtostaystrong.

Shewanted togetoutof thehospitalandshedidntwant tohave togo toan inpatient rehabilitationcenter. If she couldnt even sit up straight for a fewminutes at a time, thatmight sway the teamsdecision.

Elijahsqueezedherhandandgaveheraquickglanceofreassurance.Shelovedthefeelofhisstrong,solidbodynexttohers.Hewaslikearock,literallyandfiguratively.

Sowhatsnext?Caelynsmotheraskedthedoctor.Itseemslikeagoodideaforhertodoinpatienttreatmentatafacility.

Dr.GoldfarbandRamachandranexchangedglances.Amitshiftedinhischairbeforeanswering.MissMurphy, its not completely up to us.We canmake recommendations of course, butwe cannot tell

Caelynthatshemustdothisorthat.

Someofitsuptoher.

Butwewanttohearyourrecommendation,dontwe?sheasked,lookingaround.

Everyonenodded.

Well,Amitsaid,aninpatientprogramcouldbebeneficial,butitcanbecostly.

Insurance doesnt always cover everything.Also, some people do better at homewhere they can bemorerelaxedandsurroundedbyfriendsandfamily.

Itdependsonthesupportsthatareinplace,Monroeadded.

Werehappytobringherhome,ifthatswhatsheneeds,Caelynsmothersaid.

MyhusbandandIvetalkedaboutit,andIdbewillingtotakealeaveofabsencefromworktohelpCaelynrecover.

CaelynfeltherentirebodygrowtenseandshesqueezedElijahshandagain.

Wasntanybodyevergoingtoaskherwhatshewanted?Didanyoneevencare,ordidtheystillconsiderherbraindeadandcomatose?

ButthenMonroemadeeyecontact,andshemusthaveseenitinCaelynseyes,becauseMonroelookedto Caelyns mother and father when she spoke. Its also important to find out what your daughterwishestodo.

Yes,ofcourse,Caelynsmothersaidstiffly.Wewanttotalktoheraboutit.

Itsjustbeenhardtofindtherighttime.

Everyone turnedand lookedatCaelynasshe tookadeepbreath tocontrolherspeakingvoice.Evennow,aftershedmadesomuchprogress,Caelynwasstillsensitivetothefactthathervoicesometimesshookandtrembledaftershedbeenusingitforalittlewhile.Andifshegrewtenseorfrustrated,theeffectwasmagnifiedtenfold.

IwanttobewithElijah,shesaidsimply,soastoleavenodoubt.

Hermothers eyeswerewounded and she shook her head. Thats just unacceptable.He lives in anapartment, and he has absolutely no resources, noway to provide youwith the kind of support youneed.

Hesbeendoinggreatsofar,Caelyntoldher.HeswhatIneedtogetbetter.Iwontdoitwithouthim.

Herparentsfaceswerebetrayedandbitterlyangry.

Thereasonyouvebeendoingsowell,herdadsaid,isbecausethehospitalstaffanddoctorshavebeenamazingandtheyvebeenincredibleathelpingyougetbetter.

Now, we know this is a touchy decision, Dr. Goldfarb said, trying to calm everyone down. Butremember,everyoneherewantswhatsbestforCaelyn.

ImanadultandIcanmakemyowndecisions,Caelynsaid,sittingstraighterandlookingfromonepersonto thenext,makingsure toshoweachof themhowseriousshewas.JustbecauseIvehadaseriousinjurydoesntmeanImincapableofdecidingwhereIwanttolive.

Areyousureaboutthat?hermotherasked.

Caelynturnedherheadandstaredathermother.Yes,Iam.

Because everything Ive read about TBIs says that the patients often dont understand their ownlimitationsasaresultofthebraininjurytheyvesuffered.

Caelynlaughed,andhervoiceshookalittleassheresponded.SoyouresayingyouresayingthatIwanttolivewithElijahbecauseofmyTBI?

I think your mothers trying to simply voice a valid concern, Caelyn, Doctor Goldfarb said. Herubbedhisnoseandsniffed.

Itsnotvalid,though,Caelyntoldhim.HowdoessheexplainmemovinginwithElijahbeforeIevergotinjured?

Caelynsmothersnorted.Andthenyoumovedout,sowhoknowswhatyouwerethinking.AllIknownowisthathisapartmentisnoplaceforyoutorecover.

Elijahsjawtwitched.Idliketosaysomething.

Ofcourse,DoctorRamachandransaid.Pleasegoahead.

I want whats best for Caelyn as much as anybody. And maybe if you get right down to it, myapartmentisnttheidealplaceforhertorecuperate.ThatswhyIvefoundahousetorentneartotherehabilitationclinicthatsbeenmentionedasthebestinthearea.

Idontbelieveit,Caelynsfathersaid,standingup.

Dad,pleaseCaelynsaid.

No,hesaliar.Hesaliarandhestryingtohurtyou.Herfathersfacewasalmostpurple.Haveweforgottenthattheonlyreasonyoureeveninthissituationisbecausehedrovehiscarintoatelephonepole?

Itwasanaccident,Caelynsaid.

I swear toGod, her father saidmaking a fist and shaking it at Elijah. If I wasnt a law abidingperson,IdIdhurtyouforwhatyoudidtoher.

Elijah just sat and watched him. Elijahs body was totally relaxed, calm, and he betrayed no fear.Thatshowyoufeel,hesaid.

Damnright,herdadsaid,andthenhestormedoutofthemeeting.

Caelynsmotherputherheadinherhands.Sothatsitthen?shesaid,lookingupateveryone.Wecantstopthisfromhappening?

Dr.Goldfarb raisedhis hands. Maam, if youwant to try and argue thatCaelyns not competent tomakeherownhealthcaredecisions,thatswellwithinyourrights.ButImafraidthatsamatterforthecourts,andcantbedecidedhere.

Doyouthinkshescompetent?Mentally?Caelynsmothersaid.Becausetomyeyes,shescertainlynotinanycondition.

Dr. Goldfarb sighed. Based on our testing, Caelyns retained her intellectual capacity. She doesntappeartobesufferingthekindsofsymptomsassociatedwithcognitiveimpairment,nordoessheappeartohavesignificantemotionalissues.SoIcantsaythattheteamagreeswithyourassessment.

Thankyou,Caelynsaidsoftly.

However,Icompletelyunderstandyourmotherandfathersconcerns.MostpeoplerecoveringfromaTBI succeed in very stable, supportive environments.Does Elijahs apartmentor a rental home, ifsuchaplaceisavailableofferyouthatkindofenvironment?

Yes,Caelynsaid.

Elijahnodded.Wewanttoatleasttry.Ifitsnotworking,werewillingtolistentotheadviceofthestaffattheclinic

Noyourenot,Caelynsmothersaid,standingupnow.AndImnotgoingtoinvolvemyselfinthispatheticexcuseforaplan.Youtwohavemadeupyourmindsandwelljusthavetoacceptit.

Mrs.Murphy,Elijahsaid,pleasedontgo.Caelynneedsyouguys.

Ifshelosesus,youhaveonlyyourselftoblame,Caelynsmothertoldhim.

Because until you came along, Caelyn was the perfect student, perfect sibling, and a wonderfuldaughter.Nowlookather.Andthensheturnedandleft.

CaelyngrippedElijahshandtightlyashestrokedherhair.Dontlethergettoyou,hesaid.Shesjustscared,thatsall.

Ihatethemsomuch.Ireallydo.

Dr.RamachandranandDr.Goldfarbbothlookedincreasinglyuncomfortable.

Weregoingtohelpyoutoplanyourrecoverynomatterwhatyourlivingchoicesare,Dr.Goldfarbtoldher.

Dr.Ramachandrannodded.Sometimesthingscangetmessywhenatragedyoccurs.

Thingswerealreadymessybeforetheaccident,Caelynsaid.

Elijahshookhishead.Itsgoingtobefine.Dontletanybodytakeyourfocusoffofgettinghealthy.

Shelookedathim.Hewasstillrecoveringhimself.Shesawitinthewayhesometimesgrimacedandputhishandonhisstomachwhenhewashelpinghertostandorsit.Shecouldstillseethefaintoutlinesofscratchesonhisface,andtherewerethreelargecutsthathadstitches,whichwerehealingevennow.

Andyet,Elijahhadneveroncecomplainedortriedtoshiftattentionontohimself.

Allheeverdidwasthinkofherandhelpher.Dayandnight,hewasdedicatedtoherwellbeing.

Thankyouforbeingamazing,shewhispered.Icouldntdothiswithoutyou.

Luckyforyou,youdonthaveto,hegrinned.

***

BeforeCaelynknewit,shewasbeingdischarged.

Shecouldntbelievethatshewasfinallyoutofthehospital.

It felt like forever that shedbeen in that place, as if her previous life hadnt even existed.But nowshedbeenreleased,andthefreedomwassomethinglikewhatElijahmusthavefeltwhenhedgottenoutofjail.

Ashedrovehertotheirnewhome,asmalltwo-bedroomhouseneartherehabcenter,Caelynstaredoutthewindowatthepassingscenery.

Wheredyougetthenewcar?sheasked.

Hewasdrivingherhomeinanold,batteredpickuptruck.Theseatsinsidewerefrayedandtherewereoldcigaretteburnsonthefloorofthecab.

Elijahlaughed.Idontthinkyouwanttoknow,hesaid.

Didyouroldcargettotaledintheaccident?

Henodded.Iwenttoseeitinthejunkyard.ItwassmashedsobadthatIcouldntbelieveanyonehadsurvived,letalonebothofus.

Caelynlookedathim.Hewasfocusedontheroad,nosignofstressoranxietyonhisface.Elijah,whathappenedthatday?Whoshotyou?

Hepausedalongmomentbeforeresponding.Ididntseewhereitcamefrom,

hetoldher.Icaughtmybrotherinthehallwayofthatbuildingandmadehimtakemetohiscartoget

thebagofcashthathehadonhim.Thecashthatheowedmefromwhenhebrokeintomyplace.

Didhetryandfightyou?

Elijah shookhis head. Maybe itwas a setup.Maybehewas expecting it, because aswegot to theparkinglot,IheardshotsfiredandthenIforcedhimintohiscar,grabbedthebagandtookoff.IdidntevenrealizeIwasshotuntilIwashalfwaytomyowncar.

Caelyn swallowed,hermouth suddenlydry. Just thinkingabout the accidentmadeherphysically ill.Sherememberedthedarkstainspreadingacrosshisstomach.

Thesoundofthecarasithitthepole.Thewindshieldfoldinginonitself.

Shecameback to thepresentasElijah tooka left turn,andsheflinched, imagininganoncomingcarplowingintothem,butthecarsloweddownatthelight.

Elijahglancedather.Youokay?

Yeah,shesaid,herheartracingandherhandsshakingfromthefearresponse.

IthinkImstillnotallthewaybacktonormalyet.

Noshit,hesaid,deadpan.

Elijah!shelaughed,slappinghimlightlyonhismuscularshoulder.Whatsthatsupposedtomean?

Itmeansyoujustgotoutofthehospitalandyouvegotalotofrehabtodobeforeyouregoingtofeelonehundredpercent.

Andyoureanexpertnow?

Ivereaduponit,hesaid,moreserioussuddenly.

Oh,youhave,haveyou?

Ihave.Yeah.Andweneedtotakeapractical,realisticapproachtoyourrecovery.Nowalittlegrinstartedaroundthecornersofhismouth.

Caelynshookherheadandsighed.Soyoumusthavespentalotofmoneyonthistruckandtherentalhouse.ButIknowitwasntfromthatcashyougotfromyourbrotherbeforetheaccident.

Howdoyouknowthat?hesaid,seemingunconcerned.

Because,aftertheaccident,Iheardyourbrotherandfathertakingthestuffoutofthecar.Theyknewwewerehurtandalltheydidwasrobus.

Elijahglancedather.Youwereinacoma,Caelyn.

Iwasnt.Notyet,anyway.Iheardthemtalkingabouthowtheyneededtotakeitallback.Andthenthe

copsneverfoundanythinginyourcar,whichwaswhyyouwereneverchargedwithacrime.

Elijahsighed.Yourewaytoosmartforyourowngood,kid.

Sohowdidyouaffordallofthisstuff?

Therewas a longpausebeforehe reluctantly answered. Well, Ivebeenworking a little sidegig atnight.

Youmeanyouleftthehospitaleverydayateightoclockandwenttowork?

Whendidyousleep?

CantsayIvesleptallthatmuch.Butitsfine,Ihadplentyofmotivationtostayawake.

Hestillhadntansweredher.

Whatjobwereyoudoingthatlateatnight?shesaid.Tellmethetruth.

Elijah downshifted as traffic slowed. Caelyn, Im not like you. I cant makemoney doing normalwork.

Her hands twisted together as she began to brace herself forwhat hewas about to tell her. So if itwasntanormaljob,thenwhatkindofjobwasit?

Freelancing,hereplied.

Thatdoesntmeananythingtome.

Youwantmetoreallyspellitoutforyou?heasked.Thenhelookedather.

Youreallywanttohavethisconversationrightnow?

Yes.Shecontinuedtostareathim,evenashewasbacktowatchingtheroadagain.

Fine,Illtellyou.Helickedhislipsandthenwipedhismouthwiththebackofhishand.Imwhattheycallastrongarmrobberastickupman.

Youre robbing people? She couldnt believe her ears. A pain shot through her stomach and sheleanedover,grimacing.Youreusingagun?

Idontrobinnocentpeople,hesaid.Irobothercriminals.Drugdealers,criminals,gangmembers.

Shelookedathim,asenseofunrealitywashingoverher.Yourejoking,Elijah.

Pleasetellmeyourejoking.

Heshookhishead.Imnotjoking.

Youhavetostop.Youhavetostopnow.

His shoulders tightened. This ishow I survive,Caelyn. Itshow Ipaid for this truckand thehouseweregoingtolivein.

Idont care.She slammedher fist against thedoorof the truck, causingapowerful thud to soundthroughoutthecabin.YouhavetostoporImleavingandnevercomingback.

Elijah glanced over at her. These people that I robtheyre the worst people on earth. They hurtinnocentpeoplethatliveintheseneighborhoods,theyselldrugs,beatpeopleupandallIdoisgivethematasteoftheirownmedicine.

Imnotgoingtoarguewithyouaboutit.

Hemadeaface.Ineedtomakemoney.

Thengetajob!shescreamedathim.

Hiseyeswidenedmomentarily.Ihearyou,hesaid.

Sheleanedbackagainsttheseat,shockedathowloudlyshedbeenabletoyell.

Hervoicehadbeensoweakthelastfewdays,andyetjustthenshedscreamedloudenoughtoblowoutsomeoneseardrums.

Promisemeyoullstopcommittingcrimes,shesaidsoftly.

Therewasalongsilence.Theypulleduptothecurb.Thisisit,Elijahtoldher.

Thisisournewhome.

Notifyoudontpromiseme,shetoldhim.

He turned the ignition and the trucks engine slowly chugged to a halt. Then he looked at her. Hisexpressionwasunreadable,calmandcold.Finally,hecrackedawearysmile.Okay,youwin.Ipromisetostopcommittingcrimes.Imalawabidingcitizenfromthispointforward.

Shestudiedhisfaceforclues.Areyousure?

ImsurethatIlldowhateverittakestomakeyouhappy.

***

Elijahcookedheradinnerofsteakandgreenbeans,sautedwithbacon.TheysatonthecouchinfrontoftheTV.Theywereinthelivingroomofthenewhouseeatingtogether,tryingtogetbacktoanormallife.

Caelyngrewsteadilymoretired.

Somethingwrongwiththefood?Elijahasked,glancingfromhisalmostfinishedplate tohersteak,whichhadmaybethreequartersleft.

Nothingwrong.Ittastesgreat,Caelyntoldhim.Shesatbackandletoutadeepsighthatseemedtocomefromthebottomofhersoul.Imjustso,sotired.

Elijahputhisforkandknifedown.Thenheshiftedonthecouchsothathewasturnedtowardher.Hisdarkeyeslockedonhers,simultaneouslyintenseandcaringinawaythatelectrifiedhersoul.

Itsokaytobetired,hetoldher.Thenheleanedforwardandstrokedherhairgently.

ButIneedtotakeashower.

Howaboutabath?hesaid.

Yeah,thatwouldbenice.

Hestoodup.Okay.Thenhestartedoutoftheroom.

Elijah,waitwhereareyougoing?

Elijahlookedoverhisshoulder.Imgoingtorunyouabath.Justsittight,kid.

Shesmiledashelefttheroom.Shecouldntbelievehowamazinghewas,howsweetandprotectiveandkind.

Thenshethoughtaboutwhathedtoldheraboutrobbingfrombadguystogetmoney.Howcouldshecome to grips with the fact that he was capable of such kindness and softness, but also capable ofhorriblethings?

Therewasnoclearanswer.Hewasbothof thosepeople.Shedseenhimthreatenamanwithagun,shedwatchedhimbeatsomeonehalftodeath.Hedgottenherinacaraccidentthathadnearlytakenherlife.

Those things should have given her plenty of reason to want to run the other direction.Most girlswouldvewalkedawayfromhimatthefirstsignofillegalactivity.

WhenElijahhadliedabouthisnametoacoponthewaytoFloridathatwouldhavesealedthedealforanynormalperson.

ButitwasntlikethatforCaelyn.

What is itabouthim?Howcan I staywithhim,knowinghowdangeroushis life is, knowing that hemightnoteverbeabletogiveuphisoldways?

ShedidntknowexactlywhatitwasthatmadeitimpossibleforhertoevenconsiderbreakingupwithElijah.Butshedidknowthathistouchwastheonlythingshetrulyneeded,thatthesmileonhisfacewaslikewater,andhislipswerelikefood,hisbreathwasherairtobreathe.

WithoutElijah,lifewasgrayanddullandwithoutbeauty.

Whenshewaswithhim,lifeseemedtoholdeverypossibility.

Shewasstillthinkingaboutthosestrangepuzzlepiecesthatmadeuptheirlifetogether,whenElijahre-enteredtheroom.Comeon,letsgetyouinthetub.Hecametothecouchandheldouthishandsforhertograb.

Shetookholdofhimandhehelpedherslowlytoherfeet.

Shemoaned,becausestandingupwasstilloneofthehardestmovementsforher.

Everythingwasweak,andherlegsshook.

Comeon,leanonme,hetoldher,wrappinganarmaroundherwaist.Sheputherarmaroundhimandleanedagainsthim,sothathetookmostofherweightastheyshuffledtothebathroom.

Whenheopenedthedoor,shewasshockedtofindglowingcandlesscatteredallaroundthedarkenedbathroom.Therewerecandlesonthesinkcountertopsandalongtheedgeofthetub.

Theroomwasalreadysteamyfromthehotwaterrunning.

Doyouneedhelpgettingin?heasked.

Ido,shesaid,embarrassed.Sorry.

Dontbesorry,youretoobeautifultobesorry.Heputafingerunderherchinandtiltedherfaceuptolookathim.

IwishIwasntsodependentonyouforhelp.

Yourethemostamazingwomanintheworld,hesaid.EverydayIcameintothathospitalroomandwatchedyoufighthisvoicechokedalittle,andheswallowed.

Iveneverseenanyonefightsohard.

Shesmiled,unbearablytouchedbyhiswordsandemotion.Thankyouforsayingthat.

Andthenheleanedinandhislipspressedsoftlyagainsthers.Ithadbeenalong,longtimesincetheydhadaproperkiss.Sure,theydkissedbrieflyinthehospital,butthathadbeendifferent.

Shedbeensick,inpainanddiscomfort,confused,struggling.

Butnowtheywerealonetogether,andherbodyresponded.

Everythinginsidehercriedoutforhim.Hislipsweresoft,butfirmandinsistent.

Hetastedofmintandhesmelledamazing.Caelynsbodytingled.

Andthenhepulledbackandstaredintohereyes.IneedtoapologizeforwhatIdidtoyou.Imtheone

No,shesaid.Pleasedontsayit.Idontblameyou.

Hestopped,thoughtforamoment,andthennodded.Okay.

Helpmetakemyclothesoff,shesaid,hervoiceshaking,butnotbecauseofweakness.Nowhervoicewasshakingforreasonsthathadnothingtodowithherinjury.

Elijahslowlypulledhershirtup,revealingherbellyandthenherbreasts,ashepulleditoverherhead.Whenhershirtwasoff,hemovedclosetoherandkissedheragain,deeplyonthemouth.

Shekissedhimback,moaninginpleasure.

Heunsnappedherbraandletitfalltothefloor.

Thenhekissedheragainonthemouth,beforekissingherneckandshoulder.Sheslungherarmsoverhisshoulderssothatshecouldleanagainsthisrockhardbody.

Thelightfromthecandlesbathedhiminsoftincandescence.Youlooklikeanangel,shesaid,smilingathim.

Hegrinnedbackather.Imdefinitelynotanangel.

Areyousure?

Maybeyoumademeintoone.Heunsnappedherpantsandthenslowlypulledthemdownherlegs.

Okay,maybeyourenotanangel,sheshivered,asherevealedherpanties.

Yeah,probablynot.Hestartedtoslideherpantiesdownherlegs.

Shewasnaked,andshedidntmindatall.Elijahwrappedherinhisstrong,warmarmsandkissedheragain. She kissed him back, their tongues intertwined, and she wanted him so badly that all of herconcernswereerased.

Itwaspureneed,nothingless.

ButitwasElijahwhobrokeoff.God,youvegotnoideawhatIwanttodotoyou.

Showme,then,shesaid.

Heshookhishead.Youneedtorelaxandwarmupthosemuscles.

Okay.Shesighed,and lethimhelpherover to the tub. It tookafewseconds tofigureouthowhecouldhelphergetintoit.Sheneededhimtoholdherunderherarmsassheloweredherselfintothehotwater.

Whenshefinallygotinsidethetub,theheatimmediatelyrelaxedherentirebodyallatonce,closinghereyes.Thatfeelsamazing,shesaid,dippingherhairbackintothewater.

Sheopenedhereyesandwatchedthecandlesflickering.Imgoingtowashyourhair,Elijahsaid.

Shelookedathim,laughing.What?

Youheardme.Imgoingtowashyourhair.Rightnow.

Dontbesilly.

Imnotbeingsilly.Imcompletelyserious.Letmehelpyou.

Caelynrealizedthatsheactuallywantedhimtowashherhair.Somethingabouthimtakingcareofherthisway,washingherbody,tendingtoher,wassosoothingandcomforting.

Therewasnothingtobeashamedof.

Elijahpickeduptheshampoobottleandpouredaglobintohishands,thenbeganmassagingitintoherscalp.Itfeltamazing.Hishandswerelikemagic,knowingjusthowtotouchher.

Sheshiveredwithpleasure.

Howsthatfeel?heasked,butthehumorinhisvoicetoldherthathealreadyknewhowitfelt.

Amazing, she sighed, lettinghis handsdo theirwork.Shehadnt felt thismuchpleasure since theaccident.Itwaslikehavingbeenstarvedofanythingbutbreadandwaterforayearandthengoingtothebesticecreamshopintheworld,sittingdownandtakingthefirstbitesofahotfudgesundae.

Chillsranupanddownherspine,givinghergoosebumps,whilethehotwatersoothedandsoftenedhertightmuscles.Aroundher,candlescasttheirflickeringlight,bathingtheroominanotherworldlyglow.

Elijahtookasmallplasticcupfromtheedgeofthetubanddippeditintothewater,thenpoureditoverherheadtowashthesoapoff.

Hesatnearherandwatchedasshelayandrelaxedinthebathforthenextfewminutes,untilfinallythewaterstartedtocooloffandshebecamealittlechilled.

IthinkImdone,shetoldhim.Helpmeout?

Ofcourse.

Standingupagainwasnteasy,andtherewassomeembarrassment,ofcourse,athavingtobehelpedoutofthebathtub.

ButElijahnevergaveanysignthathewasatallbotheredbyanyofit.

Hewrappedanice,bigtowelaroundherandusheredherintothebedroom.

Therewasaqueen-sizedbedwithahuge,warmcomforteronit.Comeon,getunderthecovers,hesaid.Youlldryoffeasier.Illgetunderwithyou.

Caelynwasabletositdownontheedgeofthebedbyherself,andthenshelaybackandslidbeneaththeblankets,towelstillwrappedaroundherassheshivered.Herwethairwascoldanddrippingonto

thepillow.

Elijah took off his sneakers and then slid under the covers behind her, wrapping his powerful armsaroundherandgrippinghertightly.

IthinkIminheaven,shesaid,smilingcontentedly.

Youandmeboth.

Theylayclosetogetherforatime.

Youvebeensoamazing,Elijah,shesaid.

Hepressedhislipsagainstthebackofherneck.Ijustdidwhatanyonewouldhavedone.

No,shesaid.Youwerewithmeeverysecond.Andthenyouwentandrentedthishouse,andgotitallreadyforme.Youthoughtofeverything.

Ihavealottomakeupfor,hetoldher.Ivegotaguiltyconscience.

Becauseoftheaccident?

Amongotherthings.Helaughed.Mynaughtylistisawfullylong,Caelyn.

ItllbealongtimebeforeSantaputsanythingbutcoalinmystocking.

Youremakingagoodstartatgettingbetter,shesaid.

Hekissedherneckagain,drawinghercloserstill,pressinghischestandstomachagainstherback.AmIhurtingyou?

No,itfeelsnice.Safe.

Good.Hisbreathwashotagainstthebackofherneck.

Sheleanedherheadbackandthenturnedslightlytolookathim.Imissedbeinglikethiswithyou,shetoldhim.

Suddenly,hislipswereonhers,hotandwetashistongueenteredhermouthwithpassionandneed.

Thekisselectrifiedher, andshepurposely lether toweldrop fromaroundherbody.Shedidntwanttheretobeanythingbetweenthemanymore.

Elijahpressedhimselfupagainstherfrombehindashekissedhermorefervently.

Shemoanedsoftlyashistonguecontinuedtoglideinandoutofhermouth.Hishandsranupanddownherbareskinastheycontinuedtokissforalongtime.

Everythingwasslow,andsoft,becauseElijahdidntseemtowanttorushanythingormaybehedidntwanttohurther.Shewasntsurewhyhewastakingeverythingsoslow,butshewaslovingit.

Hishandswere everywhereonher, and shewantedhim todowhateverhepleased toher.Soon,hishandwasbetweenherlegs,andshegaspedasthepleasurecontinuedtogrowandgrowandgrow.SheliedonherbackandletElijahworkhismagiconher,andsoonshewascryingout.

Hekissedheragain,allowinghertotaketimetocalmdownfromtheexcitement.

Shewasbreathingheavily,herchestrisingandfalling.Imoutofshape,shelaughed.

Youve been through a lot, hewhispered, stroking her hair.His eyes looked at herwith completeattentionandwhatfelttoCaelynliketotaldevotion.

Buthowcanhecaresomuchaboutme?Shewondered.IsitpossiblethatImjustimaginingallofthisamIgoingtowakeuponedayandfindoutthatIwaswrongabouthim?

Shedidntseehowitcouldhappen.Elijahhadprovenhimselfoverandoveragain.

Andthefactwas,shewantedhimmorethanever.Shedidntcarethatshewastired,andaching,andstillrecoveringfromtheaccident.Caelynreachedoutandgrabbedhisjeans,unzippinghisflywithoutevensayingawordaboutit.

Atfirst,Elijahlookedsurprised,butthenadifferentlookcameacrosshisface,asshebegantouseherhandonhim.

Areyousure?heaskedher.

Caelynsmiledwickedlyathim.Imnotthatoutofshape,shesaid.Andthensheslidherselfdowntohim,andbegantousemorethanjustherhand.

***

The nextmorning, they had to get up early to shower, dress, and eat. Then they got in the car andheadedoverforCaelynsfirstdayofrehabatthenearbyclinic.

TheHowardLeonardPhysicalRehabilitationCenterwasalargebuildingwithitsownparkinglotsetofffromthehospitalitwasaffiliatedwith.Thelotwasalreadymostlyfullwhentheyarrivedjustbeforenineoclock.

Getasclosetothedoorasyoucan,shetoldElijah,asheseemedaboutreadytoturnintoaparkingspotthatwasafewrowsfurtherbackthenshewouldhaveliked.

Elijah turned towardher. Comeon,now.Youre supposed tobegettingexerciseandwalkingmore.Thatswhywerehere.

Yes,shesaid,herstomachtightening.ThatswhyImheretodomyrehab.

ButitsmyfirstdayandImprobablygoingtofeellikeImdying,sothelastthingIwanttodorightnowiswalkanextrafewstepstotheentrance.

Okay,okay,Ihearyou.Justrelax.

Ill relaxwhen thisday isoverwith.Shedidntmean tobesnippywithhim,butshed reada fewthingsontheinternetthathadmadehernervousaboutrehab.

Supposedlyitcouldbereallyhorribleatfirst,becausetheytrulypushedyoutoyourlimits.

Elijahfoundacloserparkingspotandthentheygotoutofthecarandmadetheirwayslowlyinside.Elijahannouncedherpresencetothereceptionist,andthentheysatinthewaitingroomandkilledtime.

Caelyn read an InTouchmagazine from thepreviousyear, flipping thepageswithout really readinganything.Shewassurprisinglynervous,asifshewasabouttocompeteintheOlympicsorsomething.

Butterfliesinherstomach,sweatypalms,andadrymouthElijahseemedtosenseheranxiety,andhejustplayedaroundonhiscellphonewithouttryingtotalktoher.

Finally,thedoortothewaitingroomopenedandamanwalkedoutandcalledhername.

Imrighthere,shesaid,wavingtohim,asElijahgotuptohelphertoherfeet.

Themanrushedtohersideandbeganassistingherinstandingup,andElijahtookastepbacktowatch.

Okay,easydoesit,thestockyguysaid,hisblondhairfallinginfrontofhisfaceashebenthiskneesandheldherhands.Bendthoseknees,Caelyn.Verynice.

Shebitherlowerlipandthenfinallystoodupstraight.Herlegswerealreadyshakingandshefeltweek.Imnothavingagreatmorning,shesaid.

You did awesome, the man told her. He was a few inches shorter than Elijah, but much moremuscular,almostlikeabodybuilder.Hehadaneckthesizeofatreetrunk,andhisarmsandlegswerepracticallybustingoutofhishospitaluniform.ImKnox,bytheway.

Nicetomeetyou,shesaid.

ImElijah,herboyfriend,Elijahsaid,staringatKnoxandthenputtinghishandout.

Oh,yeah?Sweet.KnoxshookElijahshandbriskly.HelookedawayfromElijahandbacktoCaelyn.Knoxseyeswereintenseandhehadahyperenergytohimthatwasinfectious.

Iguessitstime,shesighed.

Dontworry,thisisntgoingtobeanythingyoucanthandle,Knoxtoldher.

Ireadsomehorrorstoriesonline,sheadmitted,laughingself-consciously.

Ohno,neverdothatagain,Knoxsaid,throwinghisheadbackandswingingitsidetoside,hisblondlockswhippingagainsthisface.Please,promisemeyourenotgoingtotortureyourselfwithinternetsearches.Theresjustsomuchbadinfooutthere.

Okay,Iwont,shelaughed,feelingalittlemoreateasenow.

Elijahwasjuststaringatthefloor,hisarmsfolded.

So,areyoureadytogetgoing?Notimelikethepresent,Knoxsaid.

Imready,shesaid,nodding,andstartingtowalkslowlytowardthedoortotherehabfacility.

AsElijahstarted togowithher,Knoxstoppedhim.Oh,wedontnormallyhavefriendsandfamilymembersattendingthesessions,hesaid.

Well Imgoingwith her,Elijah said, his shoulders hunching andhis foreheadwrinkling as he gotstubborn.

Itotallygetit,man,Knoxsaid.Butthethingis,IhaveajobtodointhereandsodoesCaelyn.Butyourejustgoingtobeinthewayandyoullactasadistraction.

Illmakesurenottobeadistraction,Elijahsaidlightly,butCaelyncouldtellhewasactuallytickedoff.

ShelookedatKnox,whoseemedmorethanhappytogetintoitwithElijahifheneededto.

Caelyndidntintendtoletitgoanyfurther.Youknow,Imkindofnervousanditwouldhelpmeifhecamein.Isthatokay?sheasked.

KnoxgaveElijahanotherlonglook.Sure,Isupposeso.Itsjustnotideal.

Weregoing tobeworkingreally intenselyand itsbestnot tohave familymembersor friends in theroomwhileyouredoingtherapy.

Its not the kind of therapywhere she lays on a couch and tells you about her childhood, though,Elijahsaid,hissmirklessthanfriendly.

No,itsnotthatkindoftherapy,Knoxsaid.Butitsstillpersonal.

Yeah,Ithinkshellbejustfine,Elijahsaid.

Okay,comealong.Bemyguest.Knoxled thewayasElijahwalkedCaelyn throughthedoorsandintotherehabclinic.

Theywalkeddowna longhallwayand thenemerged intoa fairly large room that remindedherof agym.Thedifferencewasmainlyinthedifferentkindsofequipment,andofcourse,theclientele.

Therewerepeopleinwheelchairs,peopleoncrutches,walkers,usingcanes.

Theyweredoingallkindsofexercises,fromliftingweightstosittingonfitnessballs,orsimplytryingtowalk.Afewpeopleweresweatingonstationarybikes,whileonepersonwasrunningonthetreadmillwithaprostheticleg.

Caelynlookedaroundattheactivity,overwhelmedbyitall.Shecouldntimaginedoinganythingthatdemandingformorethanaminuteortwo.

Elijah grabbed her hand and gave a reassuring squeeze. Think I could beat that guy in a race? hewhisperedinherear,noddingtothemanonthetreadmill.

Shesmiledgratefullyathim.Probablynot.Hesprettyspeedy.

Knoxclappedhishandstogether,lookingatCaelynandElijahwithaseriousbutfriendlyexpressiononhis largehead.Okay, letsget into this thing.Werehere todophysical therapy,and itsnotalwayseasy.IvespokenwithMonroe,whoworkedwithyouoveratBostonCity.Shegavemetherundownandwevedrawnupagreatplanforyou.

Caelynnodded,sighing.Imreadytotryit,shesaid,hopingtosoundmoreconfidentthanshefelt.

Were going to start outwith some simple exercises to get a baseline, okayCaelyn?Knox asked,grabbingaclipboardandwalkingwithbrisk,militaryefficiencyovertoabenchnearby.

Caelyn andElijahwalked over to the benchwhere hewaswaiting. Soon,Knoxwas puttingCaelynthroughasetofexercises,andeachandeveryoneofthemwereexhausting.

Afterjustfifteenminutes,shefeltlikeshewasgoingtopuke.

I feel light headed, she said, after hed had her do some shoulder presseswith three-pound dumbbells.

Knoxcametohersideandputahandonherbackandrubbeditlightly.Youredoinggreat,kid.Youreallyare.

CaelynlookeduptoseeElijahgettingupfromthechairhedbeensittinginandwalkingovertoKnox.Ithinkyouandmeneedtotalk,hesaid,histonecasual.

Knoxglancedathim.Notnow,he said, lookingbackatCaelyn. Listen,Caelyn,youcando this.Yourejustscaredisall,whichisnatural.

Hey,Elijahgrowled.IsaidIwanttotalktoyou.

KnoxstraightenedandstaredatElijah.Yousee,thisiswhyIsaiditwasntagoodideatohaveyouinhere.

Caelyn was concerned about what Elijah was going to say to Knox. And she was also concerned,becauseKnoxdidntseemlikethekindofguywhowouldunderstandthatElijahmeantbusiness.Elijahcouldbedangerousifhewasprovoked.

Elijah,shesaid,itsokay.Imfine.

Ijustwanttotalkwithyourtraineritlltaketwoseconds.

Imnotatrainer,Imaphysicaltherapist.

Whatever.Comeon,Elijahsaid,andstartedwalkingoutoftheroom.

KnoxturnedtoCaelyn.Doesyourboyfriendalwaysactlikethis?

Sometimes,sheadmitted.Justdontarguewithhim.

KnoxrolledhiseyesandthenstruttedafterElijah.Caelynwasworriedthatsomethingbadwasgoingtohappena fightwouldbe theworst.At the same time, shewas so tired that shewasglad tohaveabreakfromrehab.

Shesatonthebenchandslowlyherpulseratefell,andherbreathingwentbacktonormal.Thesweatstartedtodryonherforehead.

AndthenElijahcamebackinsidetheroom,followedbyKnox,wholookedsomewhatperplexed.Therewas something different in his attitude, and hewasnt strutting quite asmuch.When he got back towhereCaelynwassitting,Knoxgaveabriefsmile.Howyoufeeling?Youokay?

Yeah,Imbetter.

Elijahwalkedoverandsatdownonachairafewfeetawayandyawned,pullingouthisphone.

Okay,letsdoafewmoreexercises,Knoxsaid.Hewasntlookingather,andheseemedsubdued.

Everythingokay?sheasked.

Yup, everythings good. He looked at his watch and started her on a new exercise. But Caelyncouldnthelpbutnoticethathedidntpushherquiteashard,andhenevertouchedherfortherestofthetimeshewasworkingwithhimthatday.

WhenKnoxletthemgo,CaelynwavedandKnoxjustturnedhisbackandwalkedtheotherway.

Oncetheydleftthebuilding,CaelynlookedatElijah.Whatdidyousaytohim?

Towho?Knox?

Hewasactingallweirdafterhecamebackinsideafteryourtalk.

Theygot inElijahs truck.WhenElijahshuthisdoor,hegrinnedather.Youdidntevennotice thatyougotinthetruckandshutthedoorwithoutmyhelp.

She stoppedand thought about it. Youre right, I did.She smiled. I guess rehab reallydoeshelp,huh?

Elijahstartedthecarandpulledoutoftheparkinglot,whistlingsoftlyastheyleft.

Imstarving,hesaid.

Youneveransweredmyquestion.

Heglancedather.Wejusthadalittleman-to-manchat.Nobiggie.

Yeah,andwhatdidyousaytohim?

Itoldhimthatifheeverrubsyourbackagain,hellneedrehabforfivebrokenfingers.

Elijah,pleasetellmeyourejoking.

Imjoking.

Areyou?

Elijahshookhishead.YoutoldmetosayIwasjoking,soIdid.

Listen,youcantthreatenpeoplelikethat.Knoxdidntdoanythingwrong.

Hewasgettingtouchyfeelywithyou.

Hesaphysicaltherapist.Thatshisjob.

Elijahgrinned.Itsallgood.Weairedshitoutandnoweverythingsclearascanbe.

Caelynsighed,puttingherfingerstohertempleandrubbing.Shewasgettingaheadache.Promisemeyouwontdoanythinglikethatagain.Youneedtocalmdown.

Icantpromisethat.Ifsomeguygetsoutoflinewithyou,hesgoingtoanswertome.

She didnt say anything else. Of course hewas being totally crazy aboutKnox, but then again, thephysical therapist had perhaps crossed a line, even if just barely.AndCaelyn couldnt help but feelprotectedwithsomeonelikeElijahwatchingoverher.

AfterwhathadhappenedwithJayson,shekindoflikedElijahsoverprotectiveattitude.

TheywerejustabouttopullintotheirdrivewaywhenElijahletoutawhisperedburstofanger.Whatthefuck

Thetruckslowedtoahalt.

Sittingintheirdrivewaywasadarksedanwithtintedwindows.

Whosthat?Caelynaskednervously.

Itsmydad.

Whatareyougoingtodo?

Idontknow.Hestaredforalongmoment.

Just then, thesedansdriversidedooropened,andElijahs fathergotoutof thecar.HewaswearingwhatlookedlikeanIrishcaponhishead,butstillworethesameoldleatherjacketandcowboyboots.Henoddedintheirdirection.

Fuckit,Elijahsaid,andturnedintothedriveway.

Arewesafe?sheasked.

Ithinkso.

TheyparkedthecarandthenElijahgotoutfirst,approachinghisdadandhavingwordsbeforeCaelyncouldevenputonefootoutsidethetruck.

Shetriedtohurrybecauseshewantedtoknowwhatwasgoingon.ShewasafraidElijahwouldlosehistemper,ormaybeElijahsfatherwouldlosehiseitherway,shedidntlikeitonebit.

Caelynhobbledovertowherethetwomenwerestanding.

I thinkweshould talk inside,Gabewassayingassheapproached.Thenhe turned toCaelyn.Imgladtoseeyouupandabout.

Nothankstoyou,Elijahrepliedstiffly.

Hisfatherseyesnarrowedashelookedathissononcemore.Iwasnttheonewhocrashedyourcar.

Butyouweretheonewhotookthegunandthemoneyoutofthecarinsteadoftryingtohelpus.

Inside,Gabereplied,hischinjuttingoutashelookedaround.Youvegotneighborsonallsides.Idontthinktheyneedtohearourprivatebusiness.

Ivegotnothingtosaytoyou.

Maybenot,butIvegotsomethingtosayandyouwilllisten.

AsangryasshedseenElijahget,Gabehadadark,intenseenergytohimthatseemedfarmore