robert w bly - world's best-kept copywriting secrets

8/6/2019 Robert W Bly - World's Best-Kept Copywriting Secrets

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WORLDSBEST -KEPT

COPYWRITINGSECRETS

by Robert W. Bly

22 East Quackenbush Avenue, 3rd Floor, Dumont, NJ 07628

(201) 385-1220, Fax (201) 385-1138

e-mail: [email protected], web: www.bly.com

Special Report $29.00


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TableofContents

Section1 HowtoPrepareforaCopywritingAssignment ............. 3

Section2 TheFundamentalsofPersuasiveWriting ......................... 6

Section3 FeaturesbeforeBenefits ..................................................... 23

Section4 HowtoWriteaGoodAdvertisement .............................. 28

Section5 TheMagicofFalseLogic..................................................... 35

Section6 HowtoWriteSubjectLinesThatGetYour

EmailOpenedandRead .................................................. 38

Section7 ReachYourProspectsonaDeeperLevel:

TheBFDFormulaforUncoveringYourCustomers

CoreBuyingComplex ........................................................ 40

Section8 TipsonUsingTestimonials .............................................. 44


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Section1

HowtoPrepareforaCopywritingAssignment

Businesstobusinesscopypersuadesreadersbygivingthemuseful

informationabouttheproductsbeingadvertised. Themorefactsyouincludein

yourcopy,thebetter.

Whenyouhaveafilefulloffactsatyourfingertips,writinggoodcopyiseasy.

Yousimplyselectthemostrelevantfactsanddescribetheminaclear,concise,

directfashion.

Butwhencopywritersdontbothertodigforfacts,theyfallbackonfancy

phrasesandpuffedupexpressionstofilltheemptyspaceonthepage. Thewords

soundnice,buttheydontsellbecausethecopydoesntinform.

HeresafourstepprocedureIusetogettheinformationIneedtowrite

persuasive,factfilledcopyformyclients. Thistechniqueshouldbehelpfulto

copywriters,accountexecutives,andadmanagersalike.

Step#1:Getallpreviouslypublishedmaterialontheproduct.

Foranexistingproduct,theresamountainofliteratureyoucansendtothe

copywriterasbackgroundinformation. Thismaterialincludes:

Tearsheetsofpreviousads Brochures Catalogs

Article

reprints

Technicalpapers Copiesofspeeches Audiovisualscripts Presskits


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SwipefilesofcompetitorsadsandliteratureDidIhearsomeonesaytheycantsendmeprintedmaterialbecausetheir

productisnew? Nonsense. Thebirthofeverynewproductisaccompaniedby

moundsofpaperworkyoucangivethecopywriter. Thesepapersinclude:

Internalmemos Lettersoftechnicalinformation Productspecifications Engineeringdrawings Businessandmarketingplans

Reports

ProposalsBystudyingthismaterial,thecopywritershouldhave80percentofthe

informationheneedstowritethecopy. Andhecangettheother20percentby

pickingupthephoneandaskingquestions. Steps#24outlinethequestionshe

shouldaskabouttheproduct,theaudience,andtheobjectiveofthecopy.

Step#2:Askquestionsabouttheproduct.

Whatareitsfeaturesandbenefits?(Makeacompletelist.) Whichbenefitisthemostimportant? Howistheproductdifferentfromthecompetitions? (Whichfeaturesareexclusive? Whicharebetterthanthecompetitions?)

Iftheproductisntdifferent,whatattributescanbestressedthathaventbeenstressedbythecompetition?

Whattechnologiesdoestheproductcompeteagainst? Whataretheapplicationsoftheproduct? Whatindustriescanusetheproduct? Whatproblemsdoestheproductsolveinthemarketplace? Howistheproductpositionedinthemarketplace?


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Howdoestheproductwork? Howreliableistheproduct? Howefficient? Howeconomical? Whohasboughttheproductandwhatdotheysayaboutit? Whatmaterials,sizesandmodelsisitavailablein? Howquicklydoesthemanufacturerdelivertheproduct? Whatserviceandsupportdoesthemanufactureroffer? Istheproductguaranteed?

Step

#3:

Ask

questions

about

your

audience.

Whowillbuytheproduct?(Whatmarketsisitsoldto?) Whatisthecustomersmainconcern?(Price,delivery,performance,reliability,servicemaintenance,quality,efficiency)

Whatisthecharacterofthebuyer? Whatmotivatesthebuyer? Howmanydifferentbuyinginfluencesmustthecopyappealto?Twotipsongettingtoknowyouraudience:

Ifyouarewritinganad,readissuesofthemagazineinwhichtheadwillappear.

Ifyouarewritingdirectmail,findoutwhatmailinglistswillbeusedandstudythelistdescriptions.

Step#4:Determinetheobjectiveofyourcopy.

Thisobjectivemaybeoneormoreofthefollowing:

Togenerateinquiries Togeneratesales Toanswerinquiries Toqualifyprospects


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Totransmitproductinformation Tobuildbrandrecognitionandpreference Tobuildcompanyimage

Beforeyouwritecopy,studytheproduct itsfeatures,benefits,past

performance,applications,andmarkets. Diggingforthefactswillpayoff,

becauseinbusinesstobusinessadvertising,specificssell.

Section2

The

Fundamentals

of

Persuasive

Writing

Whatarethecharacteristicsthatmakecopyeffective?Whydoesonead

makealastingimpressionandsellmerchandise,whileanotherfallsflatand

doesntgenerateenoughrevenuetopayitsowncost?

Virtuallyallpersuasivecopycontainstheeightelementsdescribedinthisarticle.

Thesuccessfulad:

1. Gainsattention2. Focusesonthecustomer3. Stressesbenefits4. Differentiatesyoufromthecompetition5. Provesitscase6. Establishescredibility7.

Builds

value

8. CloseswithacalltoactionAlladsdonothavealleightcharacteristicsinequalproportions.Depending

ontheproduct,someoftheseelementswillbedominantinyourad;

otherssubordinate.


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Letstaketelephoneserviceasanexample.IfyouareAT&T,MCI,or

Sprint,youhavealongtrackrecordofsuccessandawellestablishedreputation.

Therefore,youwillbenaturallystronginelementsfiveandsix(provingyourcase

andestablishingyourcredibility).

Anewtelephoneservicesprovider,ontheotherhand,doesnothavea

trackrecordorreputation;therefore,thesetwoelementswillnotbethedominant

themesinthecopy.Instead,thestrongestelementmightbenumberthree(benefits

theserviceofferscustomers)orperhapsnumberfour(differentiationinservice

resultingfromsuperiortechnology).

Each

product

or

service

has

natural

strengths

and

weaknesses.

The

strengthsareemphasizedandtheweaknessesdeemphasized.Butalleight

elementsmustbepresenttosomedegree,ortheadwontwork.

Herearetheeightelementsofpersuasiondiscussedinabitmoredetail,

withexamplesofhowtoachieveeachinyourcopy.

Element#1:Gainattention.Ifanadfailstogainattention,itfailstotally.Unlessyougaintheprospects

attention,heorshewontreadanyofyourcopy.Andiftheprospectdoesnt

readyourcopy,heorshewontreceivethepersuasivemessageyouveso

carefullycrafted.

Therearenumerouswaystogainattention.Sexcertainlyisoneofthem.

Lookatthenumberofproductsabdominalexercises,healthclubs,cars,Club

Med,clothes,beer,softdrinks,chewinggumthatfeatureattractivebodiesin

theiradsandcommercials.Itmaybesexistorbase,butitworks.

Similarly,youcanusevisualstogetprospectstopayattention.Parents

(andalmosteveryoneelse)areattractedtopicturesofbabiesandyoungchildren.

Puppiesandkittensalsostrikeachordinourhearts.Appealingvisualscanget

youradnoticed.


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Sincesomuchadvertisingisvagueandgeneral,beingspecificinyourcopy

setsitapartfromotheradsandcreatesinterest.Aletterpromotingcollection

servicestodentalpracticesbeginsasfollows:

Howwecollectedover$20millioninunpaidbillsoverthepast2yearsfor

thousandsofdentistsnationwide

DearDentist:

Itstrue.

Inthepast2yearsalone,ICSystemshascollectedmorethan$20millionin

outstandingdebtfordentalpracticesnationwide.

Thats

$20

million

these

dentists

might

not

otherwise

have

seen

if

they

had

nothiredICSystemstocollecttheirpastduebillsforthem.

Whatgainsyourattentionisthespecificfigureof$20milliondollars.Every

collectionagencypromisestocollectmoney.Butsayingthatyouhavegotten$20

millioninresultsisspecific,credible,andmemorable.

Featuringanofferthatisfree,lowinprice,orunusuallyattractiveisalsoan

effectiveattentiongetter.AfullpagenewspaperadfromGuaranteedTermLife

Insuranceannounces,NOW...$1aweekbuysGuaranteedTermLifeInsurance

forNewYorkersover50.Notonlydoesthe$1offerdrawyouin,butthe

headlinealsogainsattentionbytargetingaspecificgroupofbuyers(NewYorkers

over50).

Youknowthatinpublicspeaking,youcangainattentionbyshoutingor

talkingloudly.Thisdirectapproachcanworkincopy,especiallyinretail

advertising.AnadforLord&Taylordepartmentstoreproclaimsinlarge,bold

type:STARTSTODAY...ADDITIONAL40%OFFWINTERFASHIONS.Not

cleverorfancy,butofinteresttoshopperslookingtosavemoney.

Anothermethodofengagingtheprospectsattentionistoaskaprovocative

question.Bits&Pieces,amanagementmagazine,beginsitssubscriptionmailing


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withthisheadline:WhatdoJapanesemanagershavethatAmerican

managerssometimeslack?Dontyouwanttoatleastreadthenextsentence

tofindtheanswer.

Amailingforabookclubhasthisheadlineontheouterenvelope:

WhyistheMcGrawHillChemicalEngineersBookClubgivingaway

practicallyforFREEthisspecial50thAnniversaryEditionofPERRYS

CHEMICALENGINEERSHANDBOOK?

Tochemicalengineers,whoknowthatPerryscostsabout$125percopy,

thefactthatsomeonewouldgiveitawayisindeedacuriosityandengineers,

being

curious

people,

want

to

get

the

answer.

Injectingnewsintocopy,orannouncingsomethingthatisnewor

improved,isalsoaproventechniqueforgettingattention.Amailingoffering

subscriptionstothenewsletterDr.AtkinssHealthRevelationshasthisheadline

onthecover:

HereAreAstonishingNutritionalTherapiesandAlternativeTreatments

YoullNeverHearAboutFromtheMedicalEstablishment,theFDA,Drug

CompaniesorEvenYourDoctor...

3decadesofmedicalresearchbreakthroughsfromtheAtkinsCenterfor

ComplementaryMedicine...revealedatlast!

ThetraditionalMadisonAvenueapproachtocopysubtlewordplayand

clevernessoftenfailstogetattentionbecausemanypeoplereadingtheadeither

dontgetit,oriftheydogetit,theydontthinkitsthatfunny(ortheythinkits

funnybutthatdoesntcompelthemtoreadtheadorbuytheproduct).

AnewspaperadforNewJerseyhospital,promotingitsfacilitiesfortreating

kidneystoneswithoutsurgery(ultrasonicsoundwavesareusedtopainlessly

breakupanddissolvethestone),carriedthisheadline:

TheEndoftheStoneAge.


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Clever?Yes.Butasformerkidneystonepatients,wecantellyouthat

havingkidneystonesisnotafun,playfulsubject,andthisheadlinemissesthe

mark.Thekidneystonesuffererwantstoknowhecangotohislocalhospital,get

fasttreatment,avoidanoperationandahospitalstay,havetheprocedurebe

painless,andgetridofthekidneystonesthatarecausinghiscurrentdiscomfort.

Therefore,theheadline,

GetRidofPainlessKidneyStonesWithoutSurgery!

Whilelessclever,ismoredirect,andworksbetterwiththistopicand

thisaudience.

Element#2:

Focus

on

the

customer.

Whenwritingcopy,startwiththeprospect,notwiththeproduct.Your

prospectsareinterestedprimarilyinthemselvestheirgoals,theirproblems,their

needs,theirhopes,theirfears,theirdreamsandaspirations.Yourproductor

serviceisofsecondaryimportance,thedegreeofconcernbeingdeterminedbythe

potentialfortheproductorservicetoaddressoneoftheprospectswantsor

needs,orsolveoneoftheirproblems.

Effectivecopyspeaksdirectlytoaspecificaudienceandidentifiestheir

preferences,quirks,behaviors,attitudes,needs,orrequirements.Arecruitment

brochureforacomputerconsultantfirm,forexample,hasthisheadlineon

thecover:

Introducingauniquecareeropportunityonlyafewdozencomputer

professionalsinthecountrywillbeabletotakeadvantageofthisyear....

Theheadlineiseffectivebecauseitfocusesontheprospects(Information

Systemsprofessionals)andoneoftheirmainconcernsinlife(theircareer),rather

thantheconsultingfirmanditshistory,asmostsuchbrochuresdo.

Writefromthecustomerspointofviewe.g.,notour,Introducingour

GuardaHealthEmployeeBenefitProgrambutAtlastyoucancombatthehuge


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healthinsurancepremiumsthreateningtoputyoursmallbusinessout

ofbusiness.

WEKAPublishing,inadirectmailpackagepromotingtheElectronicsRepair

Manual,adoityourselfguideforhobbyistsandotherswhowanttorepairtheir

ownhomeandofficeelectronics,usescopythatspeaksdirectlytothepersonality

typeofthepotentialbuyer:

Ifyourehandy...fascinatedbyelectronicsandtheworldofhightech...are

happiestwithatoolinyourhand...andrespondtohouseholdproblemsand

brokenapplianceswithadefiant,Illdoitmyself...

...

then

fun,

excitement,

the

thrill

of

discovery,

time

and

money

saved,

and

thesatisfactionofajobwelldoneawaityouwhenyoupreviewournewly

updatedElectronicsRepairManualatnoriskforafull30days.

Agoodwaytoensurethatyouarefocusingontheprospects,andnot

yourselforyourproductoryourcompany,istoaddresstheprospectdirectlyin

thecopyasyou.Forexample:

DearHealthCareAdministrator:

Youknowhowtoughitistomakeadecentprofitmarginintodaysworld

ofmanagedcare...andhowtheHMOsandotherplansareputtingevenmoreofa

squeezeonyourmarginstofilltheirownalreadyswellingcoffers.

Butwhatyoumaynotbeawareofisthetechniqueshealthcareproviders

nationwideareusingtofightback...andgetpaideverydollartheydeserveforthe

importantworktheydo.

Thisdirectmailcopy,whichsuccessfullylaunchedanewpublication,

worksbecauseitfocusesontheprospectsandtheirproblems(makingmoney

fromtheirhealthcarebusiness),andnotonthepublication,itseditors,orits

featuresorcolumns.


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Copythatfailstofocusontheprospectoftendoessobecausethe

copywriterdoesnotunderstandtheprospect.Ifyouarewritingtometalshop

managers,attendametalworkingtradeshow,readafewissuesofthetrade

publicationstheysubscribeto,andinterviewsomeoftheseprospectsinpersonor

overthephone.Studyfocusgrouptranscripts,attendlivefocusgroupsessions,or

evenaccompanysalespeopleonsalescallstotheseprospects.Thebetteryou

understandyourtargetaudience,themoreyouhaveafeelforthewaytheythink

andwhattheythinkabout,themoreeffectivelyyoucantargetcopythatspeaksto

thoseconcerns.

Element#3:

Stress

benefits.

Although,dependingonyouraudience,yourprospectsmaybeinterested

bothinthefeaturesandthebenefitsofyourproductorservice,itisalmostnever

sufficienttodiscussfeaturesonly.

Virtuallyallsuccessfulcopydiscussesbenefits.Copyaimedatalay

audiencewouldprimarilystressbenefits,mentioningfeaturesmainlytoconvince

theprospectsthattheproductcaninfactdeliversthebenefitspromisedinthead.

Copyaimedatspecialistsoftengivesequalplaytofeaturesandbenefits,or

mayevenprimarilystressfeatures.Butwheneverafeatureisdescribed,itmustbe

linkedtoacustomerbenefititprovides.Buyersnotonlywanttoknowwhatthe

productisandwhatitdoes;theywanttoknowhowitcanhelpthemachievethe

benefitstheywantsuchassavingmoney,savingtime,makingmoney,being

happier,lookingbetter,orfeelingfitter.

Incopyfortechnicalproducts,clearlyexplainingthefeaturemakesthe

benefitmorebelievable.Dontjustsayaproducthasgreatercapacity;explain

whatfeatureoftheproductallowsittodeliverthisincreasedcapacity.Abrochure

forLucentTechnologieswirelessCDMAtechnologyexplains:


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CDMAgivesyouupto10timesthecapacityofanalogcellularwithmore

efficientuseofspectrum.Useofawidebandblockofradiofrequency(RF)

spectrumfortransmission(1.25MHz)enablesCDMAtosupportupto60ormore

simultaneousconversationsonagivenfrequencyallocation.

AbrochureforacomputerconsultingfirmtellscorporateInformation

Systems(IS)managershowworkingwithoutsideconsultantscanbemorecost

effectivethanhiringstaff,thussavingmoney:

WhenyouaugmentyourISdepartmentwithourstaffconsultants,youpay

ourstaffconsultantsonlywhentheyworkforyou.Iftheneedendstomorrow,so

does

the

billing.

In

addition,

various

studies

estimate

the

cost

of

hiring

a

new

staff

memberat30to60percentormoreoftheannualsalary(anexecutivesearch

firmsfeealonecanbe30percentofthebasepay).Theseexpendituresare100%

eliminatedwhenyoustaffthroughEJR.

InanadforasoftwarepackagethatcreatesletterheadusingaPCanda

laserprinter,thecopystressesthebenefitsofease,convenience,andcostsavings

vs.havingtoorderstationeryfromaprinter:

Nowsavethousandsofdollarsonstationeryprintingcosts!

Everyday,lawfirmsstrugglewiththeexpenseandinconvenienceof

engravedandpreprintedstationery.

Now,inasweepingtrendtocutcostswithoutsacrificingprestige,many

aretradingintheirengravedletterheadforInstantStationerydesktopsoftware

fromDesignForwardTechnologies.

WithInstantStationery,youcanlaserprintyourWordPerfectdocuments

andletterheadtogetheronwhatevergradeofblankbondpaperyouchoose.

Envelopes,too.Whichmeansyouneverhavetosufferthecostofexpensive

preprintedletterheadortheinconvenienceofloadingstationeryintoyour

desktopprintereveragain.


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Element#4:Differentiateyourselffromthecompetition.Todayyourcustomerhasmoreproductsandservicestochoosefromthan

ever.Forexample,acustomerwalkingintoasupermarketcanchoosefrommore

thanXXdifferentbrandsofcereal,XXdifferentbrandsofshampoo,andXX

differentflavorsandbrandsofsoftdrink.

Therefore,tomakeyourproductstandoutinthebuyersmind,and

convincehimorherthatitisbetteranddifferentthanthecompetition,youmust

differentiateitfromthoseotherproductsinyourcopy.Crispixcereal,forexample,

wasadvertisedasthecerealthatstayscrispinmilk.PostRaisinBranwas

advertised

as

the

only

raisin

bran

having

two

scoops

of

raisins

in

each

box

of

cereal.Acookiemakerrecentlyranacampaignpromoting100chipsinevery

bagofchocolatechipcookies.

Companiesthatmakeacommodityproductoftendifferentiatethemselves

onthebasisofservice,expertise,orsomeotherintangible.BOCGases,for

example,promotesitselfasasuperiorvendornotbecausetheirproductisbetter

(theyselloxygen,andoneoxygenmoleculeisbasicallythesameasanother),but

intheirabilitytouseoxygenandtechnologytobenefitthecustomersbusiness.

Hereiscopyfromabrochureaimedatsteelmakers:

AnoxygensupplierwhoknowsoxygenandEAFsteelmakingcanbethe

strategicpartnerwhogivesyouasustainablecompetitiveadvantageintodays

metalsmarkets.AndthatswhereBOCGasescanhelp.

Ifyourproductisuniquewithinitsmarketniche,stressthisinyourcopy.

Forexample,therearedozensofstockmarketnewsletters.ButIPOInsiderclaims

tobetheonlyIPObulletinaimedattheconsumer(thereareotherIPOinformation

services,butthesetargetprofessionalinvestorsandmoneymanagers).Intheir

subscriptionpromotiontheIPOInsidersays:


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IPOInsideristheonlyindependentresearchandanalysisserviceinthe

countrydesignedtohelptheindividualinvestorgenerategreaterthanaverage

stockmarketprofitsinselectrecommendedIPOs.

LucentTechnologies,theAT&Tspinoff,competeswithmanyother

companiesthatmanufacturetelecommunicationsnetworkequipment.They

differentiatethemselvesbystressingthetestedreliabilityoftheirswitch,which

hasbeendocumentedassuperiortootherswitchesintheindustry.One

brochureexplains:

The5ESS2000Switchisoneofthemostreliabledigitalswitchesavailable

for

wireless

systems

today.

According

to

the

U.S.

Federal

Communication

Commissions(FCC)ARMISreport,the5ESS2000Switchhastheleastdowntime

ofanyswitchusedinU.S.networks,exceedingBellcoresreliabilitystandardsby

200%.Withaninstalledbaseofmorethan2,300switches,the5ESS2000Switch

currentlyservesover72millionlinesin49countries.

Element#5:Proveyourcase.Element#4,justdiscussed,claimsproductdifferentiation.Element#3

claimssubstantialbenefitstoproductpurchasers.Thereasonwhytheseelements

cannotstandaloneispreciselythattheyareclaimsclaimsmadeinapaid

advertisement,bytheadvertiser.Therefore,skepticalconsumersdonotusually

acceptthematfacevalue.Ifyousayyouarebetter,faster,orcheaper,andyoudo

notbackupyourclaimswithproof,peoplewontbelieveyou.

ICSconvincesdentistsitisqualifiedtohandletheircollectionsbypresentingfacts

andstatisticsasfollows:

Thenationwideleaderindentalpracticecollections,ICSystemshas

collectedpastdueaccountsreceivablesfor45,717dentalpracticessince1963.Over

20statedentalassociationsrecommendourservicestotheirmembers.


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ICSystemscancollectmoreofthemoneyyourpatientsoweyou.Ouroverall

recoveryratefordentalcollectionsis12.4%higherthantheAmericanCollectors

Associationnationalaverageof33.63%.(Formanydentalpractices,wehave

achievedrecoveryratesevenhigher!)

BOCGasestellscustomersthatthegasmixturestheysellincylindersare

accuratelyblended,andthereforethatthecompositionlistedonthelabeliswhat

thebuyerwillfindinsidethecontainer.Theymakethisargumentcredibleby

explainingtheirblendingandweighingmethodology:

Eachmixturecomponentisweighedintothecylinderonahighcapacity,

high

sensitivity

equal

arm

balance

having

a

typical

precision

of

+10

mg

at

95

percentconfidence.Balanceaccuracyisconfirmedpriortoweighingbycalibration

withNISTtraceableClassSweights.Electronicintegrationoftheprecision

balancewithanautomatedfillingsystemprovidesextremelyaccuratemixtures

withtightblendtolerances.

Manystockmarketnewsletterspromisebigwinnersthatwillmakethe

readerrichifheorshesubscribes.Sinceeveryonesaysit,thestatementisusually

greetedwithskepticism.ThenewsletterGoldStocksAdvisorycombatsthis

skepticismbyputtingtheirrecentsuccessesrightontheouterenvelopeandatthe

topofpageoneoftheirsalesletter:

AsampleofPaulSarnoffsrecenthighprofitgoldstockpicks:

Company: Purchase

Price:

Year

High:

%Increase

/Timeframe:

Potentialprofit*

on10,000shares:

Gold

Canyon C70cents C$10.50 2793%in14months C$195,500

CoralGold C$1.20 C$6.45 438%in8months C$52,500

BemaGold C$2.20 C$13.05 439%in20months C$108,500

Jordex C70cents C$3.75 435%in6months C$26,300


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Glamis

GoldUS$1 US$8.88 788%in84months US$78,800

Barrick

GoldUS$4.81 US$32.88 584%in96months US$280,700

Themostpowerfultoolforprovingyourcaseistodemonstrateagood

trackrecordinyourfield,showingthatyourproductorserviceissuccessfulin

deliveringthebenefitsandotherresultsyoupromise.Onewaytocreatethe

perceptionofafavorabletrackrecordistoincludecasehistoriesandsuccess

storiesinyourcopy.Testimonialsfromsatisfiedcustomersareanothertechnique

forconvincingprospectsthatyoucandowhatyousayyoucando.Youcanalso

impressprospectsbyshowingthemafullorpartiallistofyourcustomers.

Sharewithreadersanyresultsyourfirmhasachievedforanindividual

customerorgroupofcustomers.ICSystems,forexample,impresseddentistsby

tellingthemthatthecompanyhascollected$20millioninpastduebillsoverthe

past2yearsaloneanumberwhichcreatestheperceptionofaservicethatworks.

Element#6:Establishcredibility.Inadditiontothebenefitsyouoffer,theproductsandservicesyoudeliver

thatofferthesebenefits,andtheresultsyouhaveachieved,prospectivebuyers

willaskthequestion,Whoareyou?

Intermsofpersuasion,ofthethreemajortopicsyoudiscussinyourad

theprospect,theproduct,andtheproductvendorthecorporatestoryis

usuallytheleastimportant.Theprospectisprimarilyinterestedinhimselfandhis

problemsandneeds,andinterestedinyourproductorserviceonlyasameansof

solvingthoseproblemsorfillingthoseneeds.Theprospectisinterestedinyour

companyonlyasitrelatestoyourabilitytoreliablymake,deliver,install,and

servicetheproducthebuysfromyou.

Yet,thesourceoftheproductorservicethecompanystillisafactorin

influencingpurchasedecisions.Intheearlydaysofpersonalcomputing,IBMwas


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thepreferredbrandnotbecauseIBMnecessarilymadeasuperiorcomputerata

betterprice,butbecauseifsomethingwentwrong,IBMcouldbecountedonfor

fast,reliable,effectiveserviceandsupport.AsPCsbecamemoreofacommodity

andlocalcomputerresellersandstoresofferedbetterservice,theservice

andsupportreputationofIBMbecamelessofanadvantage,andtheirPC

salesdeclined.

Herearesomeexamplesofcopyinwhichthevendorgivescredentials

designedtomaketheconsumerfeelmorecomfortableindoingbusinesswith

themandchoosingthemoverothersuppliersadvertisingsimilarproducts

and

services:

Weguaranteethebesttechnicalserviceandsupport.Iwasacompressor

servicetechnicianatIngersollRand,andinthelast20yearshavepersonally

servicedmorethan250compressorsatover80companies.

Fornearly100years,BOCGaseshasprovidedinnovativegastechnology

solutionstomeetprocessandproductionneeds.Wehavesuppliedmorethan

20,000differentgasesandgasmixturesinpuritiesupto99.99999percentto2

millioncustomersworldwide.

LionTechnologyisdifferent.Fornearlytwodecades,wehavededicated

ourselves100%totrainingmanagers,engineers,andothersinenvironmental

compliancerelatedsubjects.Since1989,ourfirmhasconductedmorethan1,400

workshopsnationwideonthesetopics.

YoullfindsomeofPaulsfundamentalresearchinpreciousmetals

summedupinhismorethan60bestsellingbooksincludingSilverBullsand

TradingwithGold.Paulsuniqueblendingofsolidresearch,combinedwith

anunprecedentedrecordofsuccessinpickinggoldstocks,mayhavebeen

whatmovedoneNewYorkTimesreportertodubhimthedeanof

commoditiesresearchers.


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Credentialsyoucanlistinyourcopyincludeyearfounded,numberof

yearsinbusiness,numberofemployees,annualrevenues,numberoflocations,

numberofunitssold,patentsandproductinnovations,awards,commendations,

publications,membershipandparticipationinprofessionalsocieties,sealsof

approval,agencyratings,independentsurveyresults,mediacoverage,numberof

customers,andinhouseresources(financial,technological,andhuman).

Element#7:Buildvalue.Itsnotenoughtoconvinceprospectsyouhaveagreatproductora

superiorservice.Youmustalsoshowthemthatthevalueofyourofferfarexceeds

the

price

you

are

asking

for

it.

You

may

have

the

best

widget

in

the

$100

to

$200

pricerangeofmediumsizewidgets,butwhyshouldtheprospectpay$200for

yourwidgetwhentheycangetanotherbrandforhalftheprice?Oneargument

mightbelowertotalcostofownership.Althoughyourwidgetcostsmoretobuy,

itsgreaterreliabilityandperformancesaveandmakeyourfirmmoneythat,over

thelongrun,farexceedsthedifferenceinpricebetweenyouandbrandX.

Stresscostofownershipvs.costofpurchase.Thepurchasepriceisnottheonly

costofowningsomething.Thereisthecostofmaintenance,support,repair,

refurbishment,operation,and,whensomethingwearsout,replacement.

Thereforetheproductthatcoststheleasttobuymaynotactuallycostthe

leasttoown;oftentimes,itisthemostexpensivetoown!

Example:Severalcompaniesarenowsellingartificialbonesubstitutesfor

orthopedicsurgeonstouseinbonegraftoperations.Asofthiswriting,asmall

containeroftheartificialbonesubstitute,containingenoughmaterialforonespine

surgery,cancost$500to$800.

Theshortsightedbuyerseesthisasexpensive,especiallysincebonegraft

canbetakenfromothersitesinthepatientsownbody,andthereisnocostfor

thismaterial.


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Butistherereallynocost?Collectingbonegraftfromthepatientsown

bodyaddsaboutanhourtothesurgicalprocedure.Withoperatingroomtimeat

about$1,000anhour,itmakessensetopay$750forbonematerialandeliminate

thisextrahourintheOR.

Thatsnotall.Oftenremovingthebonefromadonorsitecausesproblems

thatcanresultinanextradaysstayinthehospital.Thatsanother$1,000down

thetubes.Andtheremovalofbonefromthedonorsitecancauseinfection,which

mustbetreatedwithcostlyantibiotics.Also,theremovalprocesscancausepain;

howdoyoumeasurethecostofthepatientsaddedsuffering?Sowhile$750for

a

small

vial

of

artificial

bone

may

seem

initially

expensive,

it

is

in

fact

a

bargain

whencomparedwiththealternative(which,onthesurface,appearstohave

zerocost).

Heresasimplerexample.Youneedtobuyaphotocopierforyourhome

office.CopierAcosts$900.CopierBcosts$1,200.Thefeaturesareessentiallythe

same,andthereputationsofthebrandsarecomparable.Bothhaveanexpected

lifetimeof120,000copies.Mostpeoplewouldsay,Everythingsthesameexcept

price,sobuycopierAandsave$300.CopierAcomparesitselffeatureforfeature

withCopierB,andrunsanadwiththeheadline,CopierAvs.OurCompetition...

WeCanDoEverythingTheyCanDo...at25%OffthePrice.

ButyouarethecopywriterforthemakersofCopierB.Youaskthemwhat

itcoststomakeacopy.Theircostpercopyis2cents.YouinvestigateCopierA,

andfindoutthatthetonercartridgesaremoreexpensive,sothatthecostpercopy

is4cents.Youcannowadvertisecopiesathalfthecostofourcompetitor.

Whatsmore,asimplecalculationshowsthatifCopierBis2centsacopy

cheaper,andyouusethemachinetomake120,000copies,yoursavingsoverthe

lifeofthemachineis$2,400.Therefore,aninvestmentinCopierBpaysyoupack

eighttimestheextra$300itcosttobuy.Thisisadditionalammunitionyoucanuse


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inyourcopytoestablishthatpurchasepriceisnottheultimatefactordetermining

buyingdecisions,andthatCopierBoffersagreateroverallvaluetothebuyer.

Ifyourproductcostsslightlymoreupfrontbutactuallysavesmoneyinthe

longrun,stressthisinyoursalestalk.Everyoneknowsthatthecheapestproduct

isnotautomaticallythebestbuy;corporatebuyersarebecomingespecially

concernedwiththiscostofownershipconcept.Onlygovernmentbusiness,which

isawardedbasedonsealedproposalsandbids,seemstostillfocussolelyonthe

lowestprice.Andeventhatisslowlychanging.

Thekeytoestablishingvalueistoconvincetheprospectsthatthepriceyou

ask

is

a

drop

in

the

bucket

compared

with

the

money

your

product

will

make

or

savethem,ortheotherbenefitsitdelivers.Someexamples:

WhatwouldyoudoiftheEPAassesseda$685,000fineagainstyour

companyfornoncompliancewithenvironmentalregulationsyouwerenteven

awareexisted?

Nowgetthespecial50thAnniversaryEditionof

PERRYSCHEMICALENGINEERSHANDBOOK...

...foronly$4.97(listprice:$129.50)

withyourNoRiskTrialMembershipinMcGrawHills

ChemicalEngineersBookClub

Anotherwaytoestablishvalueistocomparethecostofyourproductwith

moreexpensiveproductsorservicesthataddressthesamebasicneed:

ThecostofTheNovellCompanion,includingthe800+pagereferencebinder

andNetWareutilitiesondiskette,isnormally$89plus$6.50forshippingand

handling.ThisislessthanaNetWareconsultantwouldchargetoadviseyoufor

justonehour...yetTheNovellCompanionistheretohelpyouadministerand

manageyournetwork,yearafteryear.


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Ifyourproductorserviceisusedoveraperiodoftime,asmostare,you

canreducethestickershockthatcomeswithquotingahighupfrontpriceby

showingthecostovertheextendedusageperiod.Forinstance,alifeinsurance

policywithanannualpremiumof$200givesyourlovedonesprotectionfor

just55centsaday.Thelatterseemsmoreaffordable,althoughthetwoprices

areequivalent.

Element#8:Closewithacalltoaction.Copyiswrittentobringaboutachangethatis,tocauseprospectsto

changetheiropinion,attitude,beliefs,purchasingplans,brandpreferences,or

immediate

buying

actions.

Toeffectthischange,yourcopymustbespecificabouttheactionthe

prospectshouldtakeiftheyareinterestedinwhatyouvesaidandhowtotake

advantageofyourofferoratleastfindoutmore.Tellthemtoclipandmailthe

coupon,callthetollfreephonenumber,visityourWebsite,cometoyourstore,

requestafreeestimate,orwhatever.Specifythenextstepdirectlyinyourcopy,or

elsefewpeoplewilltakeit.Someexamples:

Whenyoucall,besuretoaskhowyoucangetaFREEcopyofournew

audiocassette,HowtoGetBetterResultsFromYourCollectionEfforts.Injust7

minuteslisteningtime,youlldiscoveratleasthalfadozenofthetechniquesIC

Systemsusesandyoucanuse,tootogetmorepeopletopaywhatthey

oweyou.

ForacomplementarycopyoftheSECRETSOFBUILDINGAWORLD

CLASSWEBSITEaudiocassette,completeandmailthesurveyenclosedorfaxit

todayto1888FAX2IBM(18883292426).

PutBOCsqualitygassolutionstoworkinyourplantstartingtoday.

Thinkitstimetotalkwithagassupplierthatreallyknowsyourbusinessandhas


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realsolutionstoyourproblems?CallyourBOCGasesrepresentativetoday.Or

visitourWebsiteathttp://www.boc.com.

Section3

FeaturesbeforeBenefits

Perhapstheoldestandmostwidelyembracedruleforwriting

directresponsecopyis,Stressbenefits,notfeatures. Buteventhissacred

commandmentdoesntalwaysholdtrue.

Asadirectresponsecopywriter,Idomybesttowritecopythatfocuseson

benefits,saysfreelancerConnieClarkinalettertothismagazine(February1987).

Butsometimesinadmittedlyrarecircumstancesadifferentapproachcan

workaswellorbetter.

Specifically,Icanthinkoffivesellingsituationsinwhichfeaturesshouldbe

givenequal(ifnottop)billingoverbenefitsandpromiseorientedcopy.

1.Sellingtoexperts. Asanewhomeowner,Iknowbeansaboutinsulation.

SoIneedtobesoldonthebenefits:Howmuchwilltheinsulationreducemy

winterfuelbills? Whatsthebenefitofinsulatingmyatticfloorvs.theroof? Why

isanRvalueof11betterthan9? Willmyhouseactuallybecomewarmerand

lessdrafty?

But

could

you

imagine

repeating

this

discussion

in

a

mailing

aimed

at

insulationcontractorsandinstallers? Ofcoursenot,becausethesecontractorsare

expertsininsulation. Theyalreadyknowwhatinsulationcandoandwhyitis

important. SocopyshouldstressthefeaturesofinsulationRvalues,price,

volumediscounts,typesofmaterialsavailable,installationtechniques.


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Theseinsulationexpertsareinterestedinonlyonething:Doyouhavethe

productstheyneedtohelpthemdotheirjobcorrectlyandatagoodprofit? A

discussionoffeaturesandpricingwillgivetheseknowledgeableprosthe

informationtheyneedtomakeadecision.

2.Enthusiasts. Inmybusinesstobusinesscopywritingcourseat

NewYorkUniversity,IpickedaPorscheadoutofamagazineandheldit

upforridicule.

Listentothis,IsaidasIbegantoreadthecopy. The944hasanew2.5

liter,4cylinder,aluminumsiliconalloyPorscheenginedesignedatWeissach,

and

built

at

Zuffenhausen.

It

achieves

maximum

torque

of

137.2

ft

lbs

as

early

as3,000rpm,andproduces143hpat5,500rpm. The944alsohasthePorsche

transaxledesign,PorscheaerodynamicsandPorschehandling.

Ifinishedmycritiquebysaying,Thisisatextbookexampleofaclassic

copywritingmistake:stressingfeaturesinsteadofbenefits.Thisadisnothing

morethanaspecsheetofengineeringstatistics,anddoesapoorjobofsellingthe

benefitsofowningaPorsche.

Astudentraisedhishand. Imsorrytodisagreewithyou,butitsobvious

youdontknoworcaremuchaboutcars. ImacarnutIownaCorvetteanda

Jagandthatadgetsmedroolingtotrythe944ontheroad. WhenIhear143hp

at5,500rpm,Icanfeelthataluminumsiliconalloyenginehummingunder

thehood!

Lookingback,Ithinkhewasright. Imthetypewhocouldcarelessabout

carsorwhichoneIdrive...butthenagain,Improbablynotthekindofbuyer

Porscheisafter. IfthePorscheadwasaimedatautomobileenthusiasts,then

perhapsitsfeatureorientedapproachwasjustrightforticklingtheirfancy.

Remember,enthusiastsandhobbyistshavealovefortheirobsessionthatis

quitealientotherestofus. Butveryrealtothem.


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Forinstance,adiscussionofwoofersandtweetersmaybeboringtothe

vastmajorityofpeoplewhobuystereos. Butthehifinutwantstoknow. Inthe

sameway,ahackerhasafascinationforbitsandbytestheaveragecomputeruser

doesnotshare.

Moral:Whenwritingtoenthusiasts,thinklikeanenthusiast. Dontassume

thatthehobbyistsharesyourlackofinterestinthenutsandboltsaspectsof

whateveritisyouareselling.

3.Engineersandscientists. VivianSudhalter,directorofmarketingfor

MacmillanSoftware,isresponsibleforsellingexpensivesoftwaretoscientistswho

use

computers

to

analyze

complex

laboratory

data.

I

asked

Vivian

what

works

for

herindirectmailandwhatdoesnt.

Despitewhattraditiontellsyou,theengineeringandscientificmarket

doesnotrespondtopromiseorbenefitorientedcopy,shesays. Theyrespond

tofeatures. Yourcopymusttellthemexactlywhattheyaregettingandwhatyour

productcando. Scientistsandengineersareputoffbycopythatsoundslike

advertisingjargon. Theyresentitifyoutalkdowntothem. Whenwritingcopy,

donttrytobeclever,justgiveinformationabouttheproduct.

SudhaltersleadgeneratingselfmailerforMacmillansAsystandAsystant

softwarefollowsthismodel. Thecopyhasascientisttoscientisttoneandtalks

aboutsucharcanemattersasHermitianmatrices,spectralslicingandQR

factorization. Yet,itissuccessful,havinggenerateda4percentresponsewith

Macmillansinhouseprospectlist. Viviantellsmethatshehasconductedmany

testsoffeatureorientedvs.benefitorientedmailings,andthefeatureoriented

mailingswineverytime.

4.Equipment. Copythatsellsequipmentandsystemsmustnotonly

stressthebenefits,butitmustalsodescribehowtheproductworksandwhat


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itcando. Anditmustlistcompletespecificationssothebuyercanmakean

intelligentdecision.

IfIbuyanewsletter,IsubscribebecauseofhowIllbenefitfromthe

informationitcontains. Features,suchaswhetheritis8or12pageslong,or

whethertheeditorreads287publicationsinsteadof240,aresecondary. Eitherthe

informationisusefultome,oritisnt.

Butthesituationisdifferentwithtangibleitems. Irecentlyreceiveda

catalogthatsellscomputerfurniturethroughthemail. Iwasthinkingofbuying,

butthecatalogdidntprovidetheinformationIneeded. Forexample,the

drawing

failed

to

show

dimensions,

so

I

couldnt

tell

whether

my

printer

would

fit

ontheprintershelforevenwhetherthedeskwouldfitthroughmyfrontdoor.

Moral:Benefitsmaygenerateinitialinterestinaproduct. Butwithmany

customers,youmakeorlosethesalebasedonwhetheryoumentionaparticular

feature. Copythatdoesnthighlightallthekeyfeaturescancostyousales.

5.Practicality. Isyourproductsoldonglitzandglamour,hopesand

dreams? Orisitboughtformorepracticalreasons? Productswithpractical

appealmustbesupportedbyfeatureorientedcopythatgivesyourprospectthe

assurancethathesbuyingagoodsolutiontohisproblems.

Forexample,thedozensofHowtoGetRichQuickbookssoldthrough

mailorderadsareappealingtothebuyersdreamsratherthanhardreality. (How

manyofthepeoplewhobuysuchbooksactuallybecomerich?) Andsothecopy

quiteappropriatelyconcentrates100percentonthepromiseofrichesbeyondthe

dreamsofavarice,withoutrevealingtheactualfeaturesoftheplan...whichwould

onlybeadisappointment.

Ontheotherhand,ifthesamepersonneededanewgasfurnaceforhis

home,hewouldlookatyourproductwithmuchmoreattentiontodetail. Here,

copywouldhavetoconcentrateonexplainingtechnicalfeatures,andonbuilding


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confidenceintheperformanceoftheproductandthereliabilityofthe

manufacturer. Featureswouldlikelyhaveequalbillingwithbenefitsinyour

brochureormailpackage.

OK.Letssayyouwanttoincludesomefeaturesandtechnical

specificationsinyournextpieceofcopy. HerearesomeofthemethodsIusefor

integratingtechnicalinformationintoasalesorientedpiece.

FEATURES/BENEFITSTABLE. Thisissimplyatwocolumntable

orchecklist. Thelefthandcolumnlistsallthefeaturesofyourproduct,while

therighthandcolumndescribesthebenefitsthecustomergetsasaresultof

each

feature.

Manycopywritingbooksandcoursessuggestthatyoumakesuchalistas

preparationforwritinganypieceofcopy. Imsuggestingyougoonestepfurther

andactuallyreprintthefeatures/benefitslistasapageinyourbrochure.

TWOPARTCAUSEANDEFFECTSTATEMENTS. Withthis

technique,usedinheadlinesandbodycopy,youfirstdescribeafeatureofyour

brochure,thentalkaboutthebenefitsthatresultfromthisfeature. Youaresaying:

BecauseourproducthasFeatureX,yougetBenefitY. Someexamples:

BecausethesystemusesLbandfrequencyandimprovedMTI(moving

targetindication),itcandetecttargetsupto50timesfartherawaythanSband

automobileradars.

Nomechanicalsystemsormovingpartsarerequired. Whichmeans

HydroCircconsumeslessenergyandtakeslessspacethanconventional

sumppumps.

Thegeometricshapeofthesealringamplifiestheforceagainstthedisc. As

thepressuregrows,sodoesthevalvesperformance.


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SPECBOX. Aspecboxisaseparateboxpresentingalltechnical

specificationsandfeaturesofaproductinlistform. Agoodplaceforthespecbox

isthebackpageofyourflierorbrochure.

Haveyourartistputaborderaroundthespecboxtoseparateitfromthe

maintext. Anothertechniqueforvisuallyseparatingyourspecboxfromtherest

ofthebodycopyistoprintthespecsoveralighttint.

VISUALS. Usetables,graphs,charts,diagrams,illustrations,photosand

othervisualstohighlightfeaturesandtechnicalinformation. Savebodycopyfora

discussionofbenefits.

Section4

HowtoWriteaGoodAdvertisement

Todefinewhatconstitutesgoodprintadvertising,webeginwithwhata

goodprintadisnot:

Itisnotcreativeforthesakeofbeingcreative. Itisnotdesignedtopleasecopywriters,artdirectors,agencypresidentsor

evenclients.

Itsmainpurposeisnottoentertain,winawardsorshoutatthereaders,Iamanad.Dontyouadmiremyfinewriting,boldgraphicsand

cleverconcept?

Inotherwords,ignoremostofwhatyouwouldlearnasastudentinany

basicadvertisingclassorasatraineeinoneofthebigMadisonAvenueconsumer

adagencies.


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Okay.Sothatswhatanadshouldntbe.Asforwhatanadshouldbe,here

aresomecharacteristicssharedbysuccessfuldirectresponseprintads:

Theystressabenefit.Themainsellingpropositionisnotcleverlyhiddenbutismadeimmediatelyclear.Example:HowtoWinFriendsand

InfluencePeople.

Theyarousecuriosityandinvitereadership.Thekeyhereisnottobeoutrageousbuttoaddressthestrongestinterestsandconcernsofyour

targetaudience.Example:DoyouMakeTheseMistakesinEnglish?

appealstothereadersdesiretoavoidembarrassmentandwriteand

speak

properly.

Theyprovideinformation.TheheadlineHowtoStopEmissionProblemsatHalftheCostofConventionalAirPollutionControlDevicesluresthe

readerbecauseitpromisesusefulinformation.Prospectstodayseek

specific,usableinformationonhighlyspecializedtopics.Adsthatprovide

informationthereaderwantsgethigherreadershipandbetterresponse.

Theytalktothereader.Whyaresomanysuccessfulcontroladswrittenbydirectresponseentrepreneursratherthetopfreelancecopywritersand

directresponseagencies?

Mytheoryisthatwhenpeopleseeanondirectresponsead,theyknowits

justaremindertypeadandfiguretheydonthavetoreadit.

Because,althoughtheseentrepreneursmaynotbeprofessionalwriters,

theyknowtheirproduct,theiraudienceandwhatholdstheiraudiencesinterest.

Andthatisfarmoreimportantthancopywritingtechniqueorstyle.

Theyareknowledgeable.Successfuladcopyreflectsahighlevelofknowledgeandunderstandingoftheproductandtheproblemitsolves.An

effectivetechniqueistotellthereadersomethinghealreadyknows,


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provingthatyou,theadvertiser,arewellversedinhisindustry,application

orrequirement.

Anoppositestyle,ineffectivelyusedbymanyprofessionalagency

copywriters,istoreduceeverythingtothesimplestcommondenominatorand

assumethereaderiscompletelyignorant.Butthiscaninsultthereaders

intelligenceanddestroyyourcredibilitywithhim.

Theyhaveastrongfreeoffer.Goodadscontainastrongeroffer.Theytellthereaderthenextstepinthebuyingprocessandencouragehimtotake

itNOW.

All

ads

should

have

an

offer,

because

the

offer

generates

immediate

responseandbusinessfromprospectsthatarereadytobuynoworatleast

thinkingaboutbuying.Withoutanoffer,theseurgentprospectsarenot

encouragedtoreachouttoyou,andyoulosemanypotentialcustomers.

Inaddition,strongoffersincreasereadership,becausepeoplelikeadsthat

offerthemsomethingespeciallyifitisfreeandhashighperceivedvalue.

Writersofimageadvertisingmayobject,Butdoesntmakinganoffer

cheapenthead,destroyourimage?Afterall,wewantawareness,notresponse.

Buthowdoesofferingafreebookletweakentherestofthead?Itdoesnt,of

course.Theentirenotionthatyoucannotsimultaneouslyelicitaresponseand

communicateamessageisabsurdandwithoutfoundation.

Theyaredesignedtoemphasizetheoffer.Graphictechniquessuchaskickersoreyebrows(copylinesabovethe

headline),boldheadlines,liberaluseofsubheads,bulletedornumbered

copypoints,coupons,sketchofatelephone,tollfreenumberssetinlarge

type,picturesofresponsebookletsandbrochures,dashedborders,

asterisks,andmarginalnotesmakeyouradsmoreeyecatchingand

responseoriented,increasingreadership.


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Why?Mytheoryisthatwhenpeopleseeanondirectresponsead,they

knowitsjustaremindertypeadandfiguretheydonthavetoreadit.Butwhen

theyseeresponsetypegraphicdevices,thesevisualssaytothereader,Stop!This

isaresponsead!Readitsoyoucanfindoutwhatweareoffering.Andmailthe

couponsoyoucangetitNOW!

Theyareclearlyillustrated.Goodadvertisingdoesnotuseabstractartorconceptsthatforcethereadertopuzzleoutwhatisbeingsold.Ideally,you

shouldbeabletounderstandexactlywhattheadvertiserspropositionis

withinfivesecondsoflookingatthead.AsJohnCaplesobservedalong

time

ago,

the

best

visual

for

an

ad

for

a

record

club

is

probably

a

picture

ofrecords.

Ataboutthispoint,someonefromDDBwillstandupandobject:Waita

minute.Yousaidthesearethecharacteristicsofasuccessfuldirectresponsead.

Butisntgeneraladvertisingdifferent?

Maybe.Butoneofthewaystomakeyourgeneraladvertisingmore

effectiveistowriteanddesignitasadirectresponsead.Applyingallthestockin

tradetechniquesofthedirectmarketer(coupons,tollfreenumbers,freebooklets,

reasonwhycopy,benefitheadlines,informativesubheads)virtuallyguarantees

thatyouradvertisementwillbebetterreadandgetmoreresponsethanthe

averageimagead.

IagreewithHowardRuffwhenhesaysthateverythingamarketerdoes

shouldbedirectresponse.Ithinkthegeneraladvertisingpeoplewhoclaimthata

couponorfreebookletofferruinstheirlyricalcopyorstark,dramaticlayoutare

ineffectualartistsmoreinterestedinappearanceandportfoliosthanresults.


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7waystocreatebusinesspublicationadvertisingthatgetsresults

Howdoyoucreateanindustrialortradeadthatgetsattention,winshigh

readershipscores,andgeneratesasteadyflowofvaluableinquiriesthatconvert

easilytosales?

Herearesomeideas,basedonstudy(conductedtogathermaterialfor

mybook,AdsThatSell)ofsomeadvertisementsthathaveprovensuccessfulin

themarketplace:

1.Putabenefitintheheadline.

ThemostsuccessfuladIeverwrote(whichwasthenumberoneinquiry

producer

in

four

consecutive

insertions)

had

the

headlines:

HOWTOSOLVEYOUREMISSIONSPROBLEMS...

...athalftheenergycostonconventionalventuriscrubbers.

Theheadlinecombinesapowerfulbenefit(halftheenergycost)withthe

promiseofusefulinformation(howto)addresseddirectlyatthereaders

specificproblem(solveyouremissionsproblems).

2.Askaprovocativequestion.

MyfriendBobPallacewroteanadthatgeneratedanimmediate$1million

increaseinbillingsforhisadagencyinSilverSpring,Maryland.Theheadlinewas:

AREYOUTIREDOFWORKINGFOR

YOURADAGENCY?

Theadranonlyonetimeineachofthreemagazines(HighTechMarketing,

BusinessMarketing,Inc.)andimmediatelybroughtinfivenewclients.

3.Bedirect.

Anadagencyaskedmetowriteanadtogeneratesalesleadsforaclient

thatrepairsandrestoresoldsurgicaltables.Whentheysentmetheirliterature,I

usedtheheadlineontheirbrochureastheheadlineforthead.

Itread:


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SURGICALTABLESREBUILT

FreeLoanersAvailable

Theadwassuccessful,anddemonstratesthatwhenyouaretheonlyone

advertisingaparticularproductorservice,orwhenthenatureofyourofferis

hardtograsp,directheadlinescanbeextremelyeffective.Anotherdirectheadline

IlikeappearedinanadrunninginNetworkWorld:

LINK8PCSTOYOURMAINFRAME

ONLY$2,395

Donald

Reddy,

president

of

the

firm,

said

the

ad

was

extremely

effective

in

generatingasmallbutsteadyflowofhighlyqualifiedsalesleads.

4.Givethereaderusefulinformation.

Onewaytoincreasereadershipistopromisethereaderusefulinformation

inyourheadline,thendeliveritinyouradcopy.

Foranadofferingbusinesspeopleabookonhowtocollectoverduebills,

MiltPiercewrotethisheadline:

7WAYSTOCOLLECTYOUR

UNPAIDBILLS.

NewfromDowJonesIrwin...

ASuccessfulandProvenWay

toGetYourBillsPaidFaster.

Theinformationtypeadishighlyeffectiveinbusinesstobusiness

advertising.Why?Becausethereasonbusinesspeoplereadtradejournalsisfor

information,notentertainment,andsuchadscontributetothatvaluablestore

ofdata.

5.Offerafreebooklet,brochure,orinformationkit.


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Offeringsomethingtangibleabrochure,booklet,informationkit,

videotape,audiocassette,researchreport,checklist,orothermaterialthereader

cansendforhasneverfailedtoincreaseresponseformeinnearlyadecade

ofadwriting.

Attheendofyourad,putinasubheadofferingthematerial(forexample:

Getthefacts FREE!).Thendescribeyourbrochureorbooklet,showapictureof

it,andexplainwhatthereadermustdotogetit.

Ifyoucanaddsomethingtoasalesbrochuretomakeitoflastingvalue,

somuchthebetter.Morepeoplewillrequestyourpieceandmorepeoplewill

keep

it.

6.Useacoupon.

Couponsvisuallyidentifyyouradasdirectresponse,causingmore

peopletostopandreadit(becausetheyknowthatcouponadsusuallyofferfree

thingsofvalue).Iftheadisonethirdpageorless,putadashedborderaroundthe

entireadtocreatethefeelandappearanceofacoupon.Copytheninstructsthe

reader.Formoreinformation,clipthisadandmailwithyourbusinesscardto

{companyname,address}.

7.Useaheadlinewithmultipleparts:

Aheadlinedoesnothavetocontainjustonesentenceorphrasesetinone

uniformtypesize.Often,youcancreateamoreeyecatchingandeffective

headlineusingwhatisessentiallyathreepartheadline.

Thefirstpart,orkicker,isaneyebroworshortlinethatgoesintheupper

leftcornerofthead,eitherstraightorataslant.Onegooduseofthekickeristo

selectaspecifictypeofreaderforthead(e.g.,AttentionCOBOLProgrammers).

Anothereffectivetechniqueistoletthereaderknowyouareofferingsomething

free(SpecialFreeOffer SeeCouponBelow).


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Next,setinlargertype,comesyourmailheadline,whichstatesyourcentral

benefitormakesapowerfulpromise.Then,inthesubhead,youexpandonthe

benefitorrevealthespecificnatureofthepromise.Examples:

$500ADAYWRITERSUTOPIA

Heresthebreakthroughofferthatopens

upawholenewworldforwritersorthose

whohopetobecomewriters:

FORHIGHSPEEDHIGHPERFORMANCE

DATAINTEGRATION,LOOKINTOMAGIC

MIRROR.

Now

you

can

move

data

instantly

from

oneprogramtoanotherrightfromyourPCscreen.

Ifyourheadlineisdesignedtoarousecuriosityorgrabattentionanddoes

soattheexpenseofclarity,thenbesuretomakethenatureofyourproposition

immediatelyclearinasubheadorwithinthefirstsentence.Otherwiseyouwill

losetheinterestofthereaderwhoseattentionyouworkedsohardtogain.

Section5

TheMagicofFalseLogic

Falselogic,atermcoinedbymyfriend,mastercopywriterMichael

Masterson,

is

copy

that

manipulates

(but

does

not

lie

about

or

misrepresent),

throughskillfulwriting,existingfacts.Theobjective:tohelpreaderscometo

conclusionsthatthosefacts,presentedwithoutthetwistsofthecopywriterspen,

mightnototherwisesupport.


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AcatalogforHarry&Davidsaysofitspears,Notonepersonin1,000has

evertastedthem.Thestatistic,aspresentedbythecatalogwriter,makesthe

productsoundrareandexclusiveandthatshowtheaveragereaderinterpretsit,

justasthecopywriterintended.

Butalogiciananalyzingthatstatementmightsaythatitsimplyindicates

thatthepearsarenotverypopularalmostnoonebuysthem.

Itspossibletoarguethatsomefalselogicbordersondeception,butthe

marketerhastomakethatcallforhimself.

Ametalsbrokeradvertised95%ofordersshippedfromstocktoindicate

ready

availability.

But

he

ran

his

business

out

of

an

office

and

had

no

warehouse.

Howcouldheclaimheshippedfromstock?

Wedoship95%ofordersfromstock,themarketerexplains.Butnot

fromourstockfromthemetalsuppliersstock.Wearejustabroker.Butwedo

notadvertisethat,sincebeingabrokerisperceivedasanegative.

Apromotionsellingastockmarketnewslettertoconsumerscompares

the$99subscriptionpricewiththe$2,000theeditorwouldchargeifhewere

managingyourmoneyforyou,basedona2%feeandaminimuminvestment

of$100,000.

ThereaderthinksheisgettingMr.Editortogivehim$2,000worthof

moneymanagementservicesfor$99,andquicklyglossesoverthefactthatthe

newsletterisnotpreciselythesameasamanagedaccount.

AsimilarexampleisthepromotiondonebymyfriendDonHauptmanfor

AmericanSpeaker,alooseleafserviceforexecutivesonhowtogivegoodspeeches.

Inhispromotion,hepointsoutthatthisproductcanhelpyouwithyourspeeches

allyearlong(ithasperiodicsupplements)vs.the$5,000itcoststohavea

professionalspeechwriterwritejustonespeech.Butofcourse,AmericanSpeakeris

notactuallywritingyourspeechforyou.


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Thereisanongoingdebateaboutwhetherpeoplebuyforemotionalor

logicalreasons,butmostsuccessfulmarketersknowthattheformerismore

dominantasabuyingmotivethanthelatter.Itiscommonlysaid,Peoplebuy

basedonemotion,thenrationalizethepurchasedecisionwithlogic.

Becausetheyhavemadethebuyingdecisionbasedonstrongfeelingsand

ingrainedbeliefs,theyareinessencelookingforjustificationandsupportforwhat

theyalreadywanttodo.

Therefore,aslongasthelogicalargumentseemscredibleandsensible,they

willacceptit.Theydonotprobeintoitasscientificallyordeeplyaswould,say,

Ralph

Nader

or

an

investigative

reporter

for

Consumer

Reports.

Somecriticsviewdirectmarketingasastepbelowgeneralmarketingin

respectability,ethics,andhonesty.Andperhapstheymightreasonthatmy

advocatingtheuseoffalselogicaddsfueltotheirargument.

Butinfact,falselogicisnotjustthepurviewofdirectmarketers;general

marketersuseitroutinely,somewithgreatsuccess.

Foryears,McDonaldsadvertisedbillionssoldtopromotetheir

hamburgerleadingcustomerstothefalseconclusionthatjustbecausesomething

ispopular,itisnecessarilygood.Publishersusesimilarlogicwhentheytrumpeta

bookasaNewYorkTimesbestseller.

Isallthisunethical?Youcandrawyourownconclusion,butinmy

opinion,no.

Acopywriter,likealawyer,isanadvocatefortheclient(orhisemployer).

Justasthelawyerusesalltheargumentsathisdisposaltowinthecase,sodoes

thecopywriteruseallthefactsathisdisposaltowintheconsumeroverto

theproduct.

Certainly,weshouldmarketnoproductsthatareillegal,dangerous,or

immoral,thoughonemansVictoriaSecretscatalogisanothermanssoftporn.


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Buttonotuseallthetoolsatourdisposal(includingfalselogic)topersuadethe

buyeriseitherincompetence,failuretodischargefiduciaryduties,orboth.

Section6

HowtoWriteSubjectLinesThatGetYourEmail

OpenedandRead

Whenprospectsgetyouremailmarketingmessage,theymakeaquick

decision,

usually

in

a

couple

of

seconds,

to

open

or

delete

it

based

largely

on

the

subjectline.Butgiventheglutofpromotionalemailtoday,howcanyouconvince

abusyprospectinjustafewwordsthatyourmessageisworthyofattention?

The4Uscopywritingformulawhichstandsforurgent,unique,ultra

specific,andusefulcanhelp.

OriginallydevelopedbymycolleagueMichaelMastersonforwritingmore

powerfulheadlines,the4Usformulaworksespeciallywellwithemailsubject

lines.Illshareitwithyounow.

Accordingtothisformula,strongsubjectlinesare:

Urgent.Urgencygivesthereaderareasontoactnowinsteadoflater.Youcancreateasenseofurgencyinyoursubjectlinebyincorporatingatime

element.Forinstance,Make$100,000workingfromhomethisyearhasa

greatersenseofurgencythanMake$100,000workingfromhome.A

senseofurgencycanalsobecreatedwithatimelimitedspecialoffer,such

asadiscountorpremiumifyouorderbyacertaindate.

Unique.Thepowerfulsubjectlineeithersayssomethingnew,orifitsayssomethingthereaderhasheardbefore,saysitinanewandfreshway.For

example,WhyJapanesewomenhavebeautifulskinwasthesubjectline


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39

inanemailpromotingaJapanesebathkit.Thisisdifferentthanthetypical

Save10%onJapaneseBathKits.

Ultraspecific.Boardroomistheabsolutemasterofultraspecificbullets,knownasfascinations,thatteasethereaderintoreadingfurtherand

orderingtheproduct.Examples:Whatnevertoeatonanairplane,Bills

itsokaytopaylate,andBesttimetofileforataxrefund.Theyusesuch

fascinationsindirectmailasenvelopeteasersandinemailassubjectlines.

Useful.Thestrongsubjectlineappealstothereadersselfinterestbyofferingabenefit.InthesubjectlineAnInvitationtoSki&Save,the

benefit

is

saving

money.

Whenyouhavewrittenyoursubjectline,askyourselfhowstrongit

isineachofthese4Us.Useascaleof1to4(1=weak,4=strong)torankitin

eachcategory.

Rarelywillasubjectlineratea3or4onallfourUs.Butifyoursubjectline

doesntratea3or4onatleastthreeoftheUs,itsprobablynotasstrongasit

couldbeandcanbenefitfromsomerewriting.

Acommonmistakeistodefendaweaksubjectlinebypointingtoagood

response.Abetterwaytothinkisasfollows:Iftheemailgeneratedaprofitable

responsedespiteaweaksubjectline,imaginehowmuchmoremoneyyoucould

havemadebyapplyingthe4Us.

Asoftwaremarketerwrotetotellmehehadsentoutasuccessfulemail

marketingcampaignwiththesubjectlineFreeWhitePaper.Howdoesthis

stackupagainstthe4Us?

Urgent.Thereisnourgencyorsenseoftimeliness.Onascaleof1to4,with4beingthehighestrating,FreeWhitePaperisa1.

Unique.Noteverysoftwaremarketeroffersafreewhitepaper,butalotofthemdo.SoFreeWhitePaperratesonlya2intermsofuniqueness.


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Ultraspecific.CouldthemarketerhavebeenlessspecificthanFreeWhitePaper?Yes,hecouldhavejustsaidfreebonusgift.SowerateFree

WhitePapera2insteadofa1.

Useful.Isupposethereaderissmartenoughtofigurethewhitepapercontainssomehelpfulinformationhecanuse.Ontheotherhand,the

usefulnessisinthespecificinformationcontainedinthepaper,whichisnt

evenhintedatintheheadline.Anddoestherecipient,whoalreadyhastoo

muchtoread,reallyneedyetanotherFreeWhitePaper?Irateita2.

Specifyingthetopicwouldhelp,e.g.,FreeWhitePapershowshowtocut

training

costs

up

to

90%

with

e

learning.

Iurgeyoutogothroughthisexercisewitheveryemailsubjectlineyou

write.Youcanalsoapplytheformulatoothercopy,bothonlineandoffline,

includingdirectmailenvelopeteasers,adheadlines,letterleads,Webpage

headlines,subheads,andbullets.

RatethelineyouvewritteninallfourUs.Thenrewriteitsoyoucan

upgradeyourratingonatleast2andpreferably3or4ofthecategoriesbyat

least1.Thissimpleexercisemayincreasereadershipandresponserates

substantiallyforverylittleeffort.

Section7

ReachYourProspectsonaDeeperLevel:

TheBFDFormulaforUncovering

YourCustomersCoreBuyingComplex

Howwelldoyoureallyknowyourcustomers?

Readingthelistdatacardsisagoodwaytofindoutsomethingaboutthe


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41

folksyouaremailingto,butitsnotenough.Knowingthatyouarewritingto

farmers,InformationTechnology(IT)professionals,orplumbersisjustthestart.

Youhavetodigdeeper.Buthow?

Towritepowerfulcopy,youhavetogobeyondthedemographicsto

understandwhatreallymotivatesthesepeople:whotheyare,whattheywant,

howtheyfeel,andwhattheirbiggestproblemsandconcernsarethatyour

productcanhelpsolve.

Onedirectmarketertoldme,Wewanttoreachprospectsonthreelevels

intellectual,emotional,andpersonal.

Intellectual

is

the

first

level

and,

while

effective,

not

as

strong

as

the

other

two.Anintellectualappealisbasedonlogice.g.,Buythestockswerecommend

inourinvestmentnewsletterandyouwillbeatthemarketby50to100percent.

Morepowerfulistoreachtheprospectonanemotionallevel.Emotionsthat

canbetappedincludefear,greed,love,vanity,and,forfundraising,benevolence.

Goingbacktoourexampleofastockmarketnewsletter,theemotionalappeal

mightbe,Ouradvicecanhelpyoucutyourlossesandmakemuchmoremoney,

soyoubecomemuchwealthierthanyourfriendsandneighbors.Youllbeableto

paycashforyournextcaraLexus,BMW,oranyluxuryautomobileyoucareto

ownandyoullsleepbetteratnight.

Themostpowerfullyyoucanreachpeopleisonapersonallevel.Again,

fromourexampleofastockmarketnewsletter:Didyouloseasmallfortunein

theApril2000techstockmeltdown?Somuchthatitputyourdreamsof

retirementorfinancialindependenceonhold?Nowyoucangainbackeverything

youlost,rebuildyournetworth,andmakeyourdreamofearlyretirementor

financialindependencecometrue.Alotsoonerthanyouthink.

Toreachyourprospectsonallthreelevelsintellectual,emotional,and

personalyoumustunderstandwhatcopywriterMichaelMastersoncallsthe


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buyersCoreComplex.Thesearetheemotions,attitudes,andaspirationsthat

drivethem,asrepresentedbytheformulaBFDbeliefs,feelings,anddesires:

Beliefs.Whatdoesyouraudiencebelieve?Whatistheirattitudetowardyourproductandtheproblemsorissuesitaddresses?

Feelings.Howdotheyfeel?Aretheyconfidentandbrash?Nervousandfearful?Whatdotheyfeelaboutthemajorissuesintheirlives,businesses,

orindustries?

Desires.Whatdotheywant?Whataretheirgoals?Whatchangedotheywantintheirlivesthatyourproductcanhelpthemachieve?

For

instance,

we

did

this

exercise

with

IT

people,

for

a

company

that

gives

seminarsincommunicationandinterpersonalskillsforITprofessionals.Heres

whatwecameupwithinagroupmeeting:

Beliefs.ITpeoplethinktheyaresmarterthanotherpeople,technologyisthemostimportantthingintheworld,usersarestupid,andmanagement

doesntappreciatethemenough.

Feelings.ITpeopleoftenhaveanadversarialrelationshipwithmanagementandusers,bothofwhomtheyservice.Theyfeelothersdislikethem,look

downuponthem,anddonotunderstandwhattheydo.

Desires.ITpeoplewanttobeappreciatedandrecognized.Theyalsoprefertodealwithcomputersandavoidpeoplewheneverpossible.Andthey

wantbiggerbudgets.

Basedonthisanalysis,particularlythefeelings,thecompanycreateda

directmailletterthatwasitsmostsuccessfulevertopromoteaseminar;

InterpersonalSkillsforITProfessionals.Theratherunusualheadline:

Importantnewsforeverysystemsprofessionalwhohaseverfeltliketellinga

user,Gotohell.


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Beforewritingcopy,writeoutinnarrativeformtheBFDofyourtarget

market.Sharethesewithyourteamandcometoanagreementonthem.Then

writecopybasedontheagreedBFD.

Occasionallyinsightsintotheprospectsdesiresandconcernscanbe

gleanedthroughformalmarketresearch.Forinstance,acopywriterworkingona

cookingoilaccountwasreadingafocusgrouptranscriptandcameacrossthis

commentfromauser:Ifriedchickenintheoilandthenpouredtheoilbackinto

ameasuringcup.Alltheoilwasthereexceptoneteaspoon.

Thiscomment,buriedintheappendixofafocusgroupreport,becamethe

basis

of

a

successful

TV

campaign

dramatizing

the

selling

point

that

food

did

not

absorbtheoilandthereforewasnotgreasywhencookedinit.

VeteranadmanJoeSaccooncehadanassignmenttowriteacampaignfora

newneedleusedbydiabeticstoinjectinsulin.Whatwasthekeysellingpoint?

ThediabeticsSaccotalkedtoallpraisedtheneedlebecauseitwassharp.

Anonuserwouldprobablyviewbeingsharpasanegative.Butifyouhave

evergivenyourselforanyoneelseaninjection,youknowthatsharperneedles

goinsmoother,withnopain.AndSaccowroteasuccessfuladcampaignbased

ontheclaimthattheseneedlesweresharp,thereforeenablingeasier,painfree

insulininjection.

CopywriterDonHauptmanadvises,Startwiththeprospect,notthe

product.WithBFD,youcanquicklygainadeeperunderstandingofyour

prospectsbeforeyouattempttosellthemsomething.Strongermarketing

campaignsusuallyfollow.


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Section8

TipsonUsingTestimonials

Wheneveracustomersendsaletterwithpositivecommentsaboutyour

companyorproduct,immediatelyseekpermissiontousethistestimonialinyour

ads,brochures,directmail,andotherpromotions.

Theeasiestwaytodothisistosendareleaselettertotheclient(along

withaphotocopyofthetestimonialletter,withthepassagesyouwanttoreprint

highlightedinyellow).

Yourreleaselettercanfollowthisbasicformat:

Mr.MikeJones

AdvertisingManager

WorldEnterprises

Anytown,USA

DearMike:

Thanksforyourletterof12/12/87(copyattached). Imglad

yourepleasedwithourproduct!

Idliketoquotefromyourletterintheads,brochures,directmail,

andotherpromotionsweusetomarketourproductwithyour

permission,ofcourse.

IfthisisOKwithyou,wouldyoupleasesignthebottomofthisletter

andsenditbacktomeintheenvelopeenclosed.

Thesecondcopyisforyourfiles.

Manythanks,Mike.

Regards,

JaneSmith


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45

YES,YOUHAVEMYPERMISSIONTOQUOTEFROMTHE

ATTACHEDLETTERINADS,BROCHURES,MAILANDOTHER

PROMOTIONSUSEDTOMARKETYOURPRODUCT.

Signed____________________Date________________

Ialwaysencloseaselfaddressedstampedreplyenvelopeplusasecond

copyofthepermissionletter(fortherecipientsfiles).

SolicitingTestimonials

Ifyourcustomersdontsendyoulettersofpraise(andmanywont),then

you

can

ask

them

to

give

you

a

testimonial.

How?

Simply

send

a

letter

to

clients

andcustomerswhoarehappywithyourproductorserviceandaskfortheir

comments. HeresaletterIuse(feelfreetocopyoradaptit):

Mr.AlexSamuels

ProductSupervisor

XYZCorporation

Anyplace,USA

DearAlex:

Ihaveafavortoaskofyou.

Imintheprocessofputtingtogetherabookletoftestimonials

acollectionofcommentsaboutmyservices,fromsatisfiedclients

likeyou.

Would

you

please

take

a

few

minutes

to

give

me

your

opinion

of

my

consultingservices?

Theresnoneedtodictatealetterjustjotyourcommentsonthe

backofthisletter,signbelow,andreturntomeintheenclosed

envelope. (Thesecondcopyisforyourfiles).


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46

IlookforwardtolearningwhatyoulikeaboutmyservicebutI

alsowelcomeanysuggestionsorcriticisms,too.

Manythanks,Alex.

Regards,BobBly

YOUHAVEMYPERMISSIONTOQUOTEFROMMY

COMMENTS,ANDUSETHESEQUOTATIONSINADS,

BROCHURES,MAILANDOTHERPROMOTIONSUSEDTO

MARKETYOURSERVICES.

Signed___________________Date_________________

NotethatIamaskingforanopinioninsteadofatestimonial,andthatI

urgeAlextogivemecriticismsaswellaspositivecomments. Inthisway,Imnot

justaskingforafavor,Imgettinginformationthatwillhelpmeservemyclients

betterinthefuture. Thus,Imnottheonlyonewhoprofits;webothdo.

Ifyousolicittestimonialsfromyoursatisfiedclientsandcustomers,and

youalwaysgetpermissiontouseanyunsolicitedtestimonialsthatpeoplesend

you,youllsoonbuildathicktestimonialfile. Becauseyouvegottenpeopleto

giveyouablanketreleasetousetheircommentsanywayyouchoose,youcan

usethesetestimonialsinanyorallofyourmarketingmaterialsfromadsand

salesletters,tobrochuresandcatalogs.

Onequickandeasywaytousethesetestimonialsissimplytotypethemup

singlespacedandreprintthemonan8by11inchsheetofpaper. Theheadline

reads:

WHAT

THEY

SAY

ABOUT

(your

company

or

product).

If

you

have

a

lot

oftestimonials,youcanprintonthereversesideorgotoasecondsheet. Dont

forgettoincludeyouraddressandphonenumberatthebottomofthepage. Use

thetestimonialsheetasahandout,asanadditionalenclosureindirectmail

packages,orasasupplementtoyoursalesbrochure.


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Alwaysgivethesheetandaduplicateofyourfulltestimonialfiletoanyad

agency,copywriter,ormarketingconsultantyouhire. Itwillbetremendously

helpfultothemwhentheycreateads,brochures,anddirectmailpackagesforyou.

Onusingtestimonials

Usingtestimonialsquotationsfromsatisfiedcustomersandclientsis

oneofthesimplestandmosteffectivewaysofaddingpunchandpowerto

brochure,adanddirectmailcopy.

Buthowdoyougettestimonials? Howdoyouusethem?

Herearesometipsforusingtestimonials:

1.

Always

use

real

testimonials

instead

of

made

up

ones.

Even

the

most

skilled

copywritercanrarelymakeupatestimonialthatcanmatchthesincerityand

credibilityofgenuinewordsofpraisefromarealcustomerorclient.

Ifyouaskacustomertogiveyouatestimonial,andheorshesays,Sure,

justwritesomethingandIllsignit,politelyreply:Gee,Iappreciatethat,but

wouldyoumindjustgivingmeyouropinionsofourproductinyourown

words? Fabricatedorselfauthoredtestimonials(thosewrittenbytheadvertiser

ortheircopywriter)usuallysoundphony;genuinetestimonialsinvariablyhave

theringoftruth.

2. Preferlongtestimonialstoshortones. Manyadvertisersarehookedon

usingveryshorttestimonials. Forinstance:

...fabulous!...

trulyfunny...thoughtprovoking...

...excellent...wonderful...

Ibelievethatwhenpeopleseetheseultrashorttestimonials,theysuspect

thataskillfuleditingjobhasmaskedacommentthatwasnotasfavorableasthe

writermakesitappear. Inmyopinion,longertestimonialssay,twoorthree

sentencesversusasinglewordorphrasecomeacrossasmorebelievable.


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Forexample:

Frankly,Iwasnervousaboutusinganoutsideconsultant. Butyourexcellentservicehas

mademeabeliever! Youcanbesurethatwellbecallingonyourfirmtoorganizeallour

majorsalesconferencesandothermeetingsforus. Thanksforajobwelldone!

Sure,itslonger,butitsomehowseemsmoresincerethanaoneword

superlative. Whichbringsusto....

3. Preferspecific,detailedtestimonialstogeneralorsuperlativetestimonials.

Uponreceivingaletterofpraisefromacustomer,ourinitialreactionistoreadthe

letterandfindthesinglesentencethatdirectlypraisesourcompanyorour

product.

With

a

blue

pencil,

we

extract

the

words

we

think

are

kindest

about

us,

producingablandbitofpufferysuchas:

Weareverypleasedwithyourproduct.

Actually,mosttestimonialswouldbestrongerifweincludedmoreofthe

specific,detailedcommentsourclienthasmadeabouthowourproductorservice

helpedhim. Afterall,theprospectswearetryingtoselltomayhaveproblems

similartotheoneourcurrentcustomersolvedusingourproduct. IfweletMr.

CustomertellMr.Prospecthowourcompanycametohisrescue,hellbehelping

usmakethesale. Forinstance:

WehaveinstalledyournewChemiCoatsystemineachofourbottlinglinesandhave

alreadyexperienceda25percentsavingsinenergyandmaterialcosts. Thankstoyour

system,wehavenowaddedanadditionalproductionlinewithnoincreaseinenergycosts.

Thishasincreasedprofits15percentandalreadypaidbacktheinvestmentinyour

product. Weareverypleasedwithyourproduct.

Again,donttrytopolishthecustomerswordssoitsoundslike

professionaladcopy. Testimonialsareusuallymuchmoreconvincingwhenthey

arenoteditedforstyle.


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4. Usefullattribution. Weveallopeneddirectmailpackagesthatcontained

testimonialsfromJ.B.inArizonaorJimS.,SelfMadeMillionaire. Isuspect

thatmanypeoplelaughatsuchtestimonialsandthinktheyarephony.

Toincreasethebelievabilityforyourtestimonials,attributeeachquotation.

Includethepersonsname,cityandstate,and(ifabusinesscustomer)theirjob

titleandcompany(e.g.,JimK.Redding,vicepresidentofmanufacturing,Divmet

Corporation,Fairfield,NJ). Peoplearemorelikelytobelievethissortoffull

disclosurethantestimonialswhichseemtoconcealtheidentityofthespeaker.

5. Groupyourtestimonials. Therearetwobasicwaystopresenttestimonials:

You

can

group

them

together

in

one

area

of

your

brochure

or

ad,

or

you

can

scatterthemthroughoutthecopy. Athirdalternativeistocombinethetwo

techniques,havingmanytestimonialsinaboxorbuckslipandasmatteringof

othertestimonialsthroughouttherestofyourcopy.

Iveseenbothapproachesworkwell,andthesuccessofthepresentation

depends,inpart,ontheskillofthewriterandthespecificnatureofthepiece. But,

allelsebeingequal,Ipreferthefirstapproach:togroupallyourtestimonialsand

presentthemasasingleblockofcopy. Thiscanbedoneinabox,onaseparate

pageoronaseparatesheet. Myfeelingisthatwhentheprospectreadsahalf

dozenorsotestimonials,onerightafteranother,theyhavemoreimpactand

powerthanwhenthetestimonialsareseparatedandscatteredthroughout

thepiece.

6. Getpermission. Makesureyougetpermissionfromyourcustomerto

reprinthiswordsbeforeincludinghistestimonialinyourcopy.

Isuggestthatyousendaletterquotingthelinesyouwanttoreprintand

askpermissiontoincludetheminads,directmail,brochures,andothermaterials

usedtopromoteyourfirm. NoticeImaskingforageneralreleasethatgivesme

permissiontousethecustomersquotationinallcurrentandfuturepromotions,


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notjustaspecificadorletter. Thisletsmegetmoremileageoutofhisfavorable

commentandeliminatestheneedtoaskpermissioneverytimeIwanttousethe

quoteinanewadorletter.

Abouttheauthor:

BOBBLYisanindependentcopywriterandconsultantwithmore

than20yearsofexperienceinbusinesstobusiness,hightech,industrial,and

directmarketing.

Bobhaswrittencopyforover100clientsincludingNetworkSolutions,

ITTFluidTechnology,MedicalEconomics,Intuit,Business&LegalReports,and

BrooklynUnionGas.AwardsincludeaGoldEchofromtheDirectMarketing

Association,anIMMYfromtheInformationIndustryAssociation,twoSouthstar

Awards,

an

American

Corporate

Identity

Award

of

Excellence,

and

the

Standard

ofExcellenceawardfromtheWebMarketingAssociation.

Heistheauthorofmorethan50booksincludingTheCompleteIdiotsGuide

toDirectMarketing(AlphaBooks)andTheCopywritersHandbook(HenryHolt&

Co.).HisarticleshaveappearedinnumerouspublicationssuchasDMNews,

WritersDigest,AmtrakExpress,Cosmopolitan,InsideDirectMail,andBits&Pieces

forSalespeople.

Bobhaspresentedmarketing,sales,andwritingseminarsforsuchgroups

astheU.S.Army,IndependentLaboratoryDistributorsAssociation,American

InstituteofChemicalEngineers,andtheAmericanMarketingAssociation.


51/51

Healsotaughtbusinesstobusinesscopywritingandtechnicalwritingat

NewYorkUniversity.

Bobwritessalesletters,directmailpackages,ads,emailmarketing

campaigns,brochures,articles,pressreleases,whitepapers,Websites,

newsletters,scripts,andothermarketingmaterialsclientsneedtoselltheir

productsandservicestobusinesses.Healsoconsultswithclientsonmarketing

strategy,mailorderselling,andleadgenerationprograms.

Priortobecominganindependentcopywriterandconsultant,Bobwas

advertisingmanagerforKochEngineering,amanufacturerofprocessequipment.

He

has

also

worked

as

a

marketing

communications

writer

for

Westinghouse

Defense.BobBlyholdsaB.S.inchemicalengineeringfromtheUniversityof

RochesterandhasbeentrainedasaCertifiedNovellAdministrator(CNA).Heis

amemberoftheAmericanInstituteofChemicalEngineersandtheBusiness

MarketingAssociation.

BobhasappearedasaguestondozensofTVandradioshowsincluding

MoneyTalk1350,TheAdvertisingShow,BernardMeltzer,BillBresnan,CNBC,

WinninginBusiness,TheSmallBusinessAdvocateandCBSHardCopy.Hehas

beenfeaturedinmajormediarangingfromtheLATimesandNationsBusinessto

theNewYorkPostandtheNationalEnquirer.

ForaFREECopywritingInformationKit,orafree,noobligationcost

estimateoncopywritingforyournextproject,contact:

BobBly,Copywriter

22EastQuackenbushAvenue,3rdFloor,Dumont,NJ07628

Phone(201)3851220,Fax(201)3851138

Email:[email protected]

robert w bly - world's best-kept copywriting secrets

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