hot spot issue #293

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  • 8/9/2019 HOT SPOT Issue #293

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    LOUNGES & CLUBS

    Mr. Wonderfuls icIsland Breeze 07Frozen Paradise icNetties Lounge 09Rosettes 19Inferno Lounge 33Raymonds Players Club 32Phar Cats 17Cyranos Lounge 24

    TRANSPORTATIONBobby Albright 35Supra Pre-Owned 30

    ENTERTAINMENTDr. I.M. Smartt Lottery 17HOT SPOT Maze 36SUDOKU 36SUDOKU Solution 39DJ Dirty Redd 35Got Balloons 31DJ Postman 09DJ Mack Daddy 05

    SERVICESMind of Creations 08Restore Your Photos 37HOT SPOT Printing 38Got Balloons 31One Time Pest Control 06

    CLOTHING & FASHIONSt. Paul Clothing 35

    EVENTSClub Inferno Monday Nights 33WolfMasters 2010 Dance 29Mothers Day 37Cyranos Birthday Parties 24

    FOOD & DININGShell Shoppe Seafood 22

    HEALTH & BEAUTYMedicaid Advantage 11AVON 39

    LEGAL & FINANCIALMAX$ TAXS 06Medicare Upgrade 27A Brighter Day Bail Bond 04

    TECHNOLOGYRestore Your Photos 37

    AROUND TOWNAround Town 20

    Around Town 21Around Town ExtraAround Town ExtraAround Town ExtraMore Around TownMore Around Town

    FEATURESHOT SPOT Reps 23HOT SPOT Subscribe 31One Mans Opinion 02HOT SPOT Schedule 06HOT SPOT Rates 15W. W. Law Foundation 03Thomas Barnes 27

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    Laughs

    A man arrives at the pearly gates, waiting to be ad-mitted. St. Peter is reading through the Big Book tosee if the guy's name is written in it. After severalminutes, St. Peter closes the book, furrows his brow,and says, "I'm sorry, I don't see your name written in

    the Book."

    "How current is your copy?" he asks.

    "I get a download every ten minutes," St. Peter re-plies, "Why do you ask?"

    "I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I was always thestubborn type. It was not until my death was immi-nent that I cried out to God, so my name probablyhasn't arrived to your copy yet."

    "I'm glad to hear that," Pete says, "but while we'rewaiting for the update to come through, can tell meabout a really good deed that you did in your life."

    The guys thinks for a moment and says, "Hmm, wellthere was this one time when I was driving down aroad and I saw a giant group of biker gang membersharassing this poor girl. I slowed down, and sureenough, there they were, about 20 of 'em torturingthis poor woman. Infuriated, I got out of my car,

    grabbed a tire iron out of my trunk, and walked up tothe leader of the gang.

    "He was a huge guy; 6-foot-4, 260 pounds, with astudded leather jacket and a chain running from hisnose to his ears. As I walked up to the leader, the bik-ers formed a circle around me and told me to get lostor I'd be next. So I ripped the leader's chain out of hisface and smashed him over the head with the tireiron.

    "Then I turned around and yelled to the rest of them,'Leave this poor innocent girl alone! You're all abunch of SICK, deranged animals! Go home before Ireally teach you a lesson in PAIN!'"

    St. Peter, duly impressed, says "Wow! When did thishappen?"

    "About three minutes ago

    Laughs

    God vs. Satan

    And God populated the Earth with broccoli and cauliflower andspinach and green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Manand Woman would live long and healthy lives.

    And Satan created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forththe 99-cent double cheeseburger.

    And Satan said to Man "You want fries with that?" And Mansaid, "Super size them". And Man gained pounds.

    And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keepher figure that Man found so fair.

    And Satan froze the yogurt, and he brought forth chocolate, nutsand brightly colored sprinkle candy to put on the yogurt. Andwoman gained pounds.

    And God said "Try my crispy fresh salad."

    And Satan brought forth creamy dressings, bacon bits andshredded cheese.

    And there was ice cream for dessert. And Woman gainedpounds.

    And God said "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables andolive oil with which to cook them."

    And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak from Cracker Bar-rel so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained pounds, and

    his bad cholesterol went through the roof.

    And God brought forth running shoes, and Man resolved to losethose extra pounds.

    And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control so Manwould not have to toil to change channels between ESPN andESPN2. And Man gained pounds.

    And God said "You are running up the score, Devil." And Godbrought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat andbrimming with nutrition.

    And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchycenter into chips and deep-fried them. And he created sourcream dip also. And Man clutched his remote control and ate thepotato chips swaddled in cholesterol. And Satan saw and said "Itis good."

    And Man went into cardiac arrest.

    And God sighed and created quadruple by-pass surgery...

    And Satan created HMOs...

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    Laughs

    Engineering classes at theUniversity of Maryland aretough, and struggling studentssometimes go to extremes inorder to pass. Grading examsone semester, I got to thisquestion: "What is the rela-tionship between kinetic andpotential energy?"

    One student, obviouslystumped, decided to get cleverand wrote, "As far as I know,they're just friends, but therecould be something else goingon there."

    For Advertising in theHOT SPOT Contact:

    Gary (843) 226-8829

    Check Out Our Website: TheHotSpotMagazine.com

    For Advertising in the

    HOT SPOT Contact:

    Denny (912) 428-3701

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    Our publication schedule is the 2nd and 4th Wednesdays

    of every month. The deadline for inclusion is the Fridaybefore the 2nd & 4th Wed. Our advertising rates are below.

    Size Color Black & WhiteCovers (Front or Back) $200.00 N/AFull Page $140.00 $70.00Half Page $75.00 $40.00Quarter Page $45.00 $30.00Business Card $25.00 N/A

    To Advertise: Phone: (912) 484-1143Email: [email protected]

    Web Site: TheHotSpotMagazine.com

    The Leader in Affordable Advertising

    Times are Tight. Your Advertising Budget is Being Squeezed. You Know You

    Must Advertise to Succeed. Make the Most of Your Advertising Dollars.

    Advertise in the HOT SPOTThe Leader in Affordable Advertising

    We Will Get Your Message Out.

    Phone: 912-484-1143

    Fax: 866-416-0074

    Email: [email protected]

    Email: [email protected]

    Website: www.thehotspotmagazine.com

    Being in Business and not Advertising is like Blinking your Eyes in a Dark Room.

    You know what Youre doing, but Nobody else does.

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    Laughs

    Patient says, "Doc, you must check my leg.Something's wrong. Just put your ear up tomy thigh, you'll hear it!"

    The doctor cautiously places his ear to the

    man's thigh only to hear, "Give me $10! I'mdesperate! I need $10!"

    "I've never seen or heard anything like thisbefore! How long has this been going on?"the doctor asked.

    "That's nothing, Doc. Put your ear to myknee."

    The doctor put his ear to the man's knee andheard it say, "Please! I really need $5! Just$5! Please! I'm desperate!"

    "Sir, I really don't know what to tell you. I'venever seen anything like this." The doctorwas truly dumbfounded.

    "Wait, Doc, that's not all of it. There's more.

    Just put your ear down on my ankle," theman urged him.

    The doctor did as the man said and wasamazed to hear his ankle plead, "Please, I

    just need $20! Please lend me $20, please! Iam really desperate!"

    "I have no idea what to tell you," the doctor

    said. "There's nothing about it in any of mybooks," he said as he frantically searched allhis medical reference books. "However... Ican make a well-educated guess.

    Based on life and all my previous experi-ences, I can tell you with some certainty, thatyour leg seems to be broke in three places."

    Laughs

    I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in my cellarand was told by my wife that I had a drinkingproblem, and to empty the contents of each andevery bottle down the sink, or else. I said Iwould and proceeded with the unpleasant task.

    I withdrew the cork from the first bottle andpoured the contents down the sink with the ex-ception of one glass, which I drank.

    I then withdrew the cork from the second bottleand did likewise with it, with the exception ofone glass, which I drank.

    I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle

    and poured the whiskey down the sink which Idrank.

    I pulled the cork from the fourth bottle down thesink and poured the bottle down the glass, whichI drank.

    I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next anddrank one sink out of it, and threw the rest downthe glass.

    I pulled the sink out of the next glass and pouredthe cork down the bottle. Then I corked the sinkwith the glass, bottled the drink and drank thepour.

    When I had everything emptied, I steadied thehouse with one hand, counted the glasses, corks,bottles, and sinks with the other, which weretwenty-nine, and as the houses came by Icounted them again, and finally I had all the

    houses in one bottle, which I drank.

    I'm not under the affluence of incohol as somethinkle peep I am. I'm not half as thunk as youmight drink. I fool so feelish I don't know who isme, and the drunker I stand here, the longer Iget.

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    MORE AROUND TOWN

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    Laughs

    A Little Mixed Up

    Just a line to say I'm living,That I'm not among the dead.Though I'm getting more forgetful

    And more mixed up in the head.

    For sometimes I can't remember,When I stand at foot of stairs,If I must go up for something,Or if I've just come down from there.

    And before the fridge so oftenMy poor mind is filled with doubt

    Have I just put food away?...orHave I come to take some out?

    And there's times when it is dark out,With my night cap on my headI don't know if I'm retiringOr just getting out of bed.

    So...if it's my turn to write youThere's no need of getting sore,

    I may think that I have writtenAnd don't want to be a bore!!

    So, remember..I do love youAnd I wish that you were here,But now it's nearly mail time,So I must say good-bye my dear.

    There I stood beside the mail box

    With a face so very redInstead of mailing you my letter,I had opened it instead!!

    My bifocals fit - my dentures are fineMy hearing aid works...but ..I do miss mymind!!!

    Laughs

    I wanted to buy a CD player, but was completelyperplexed by one model's promotional sign. So Icalled the salesclerk over and asked, "What does'hybrid pulse D/A converter' mean?"

    He said, "That means that this machine will readthe digital information that is encoded on CDs andconvert it into an audio signal."

    "In other words," I said, "this CD player playsCDs."

    "Exactly."

    My wife has not spoken to me in three days. I

    think it has something to do with what happenedon Sunday night when she thought she heard a

    noise downstairs. She nudged me and whispered,

    "Wake up, wake up!" "What's the matter?" I

    asked.

    "There are burglars in the kitchen. I think they're

    eating the tuna casserole I made tonight."

    "That'll teach them!" I replied.

    A lawyer named Strange died, and his friendasked the tombstone maker to inscribe on histombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, anda lawyer."

    The inscriber insisted that such an inscriptionwould be confusing, for passersby would tend tothink that three men were buried under the stone.

    However he suggested an alternative: He wouldinscribe, "Here lies a man who was both honestand a lawyer."

    That way, whenever anyone walked by the tomb-stone and read it, they would be certain to remark:

    "That's Strange!"

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    MORE AROUND TOWN

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    MISSED YOUR

    HOT SPOT?Now You Dont Have To.

    You Can See Your HOT SPOT Online at the

    Following Web Sites

    Website: TheHotSpotMagazine.com

    Website: Scribd.com Keyword: The Hot Spot

    Website: Facebook.com Ronald GilliardWebsite: Facebook.com The Hot Spot Magazine

    Youtube: SavHotSpot

    Watch Our Videos from HOT SPOT TV

    On the HOT SPOT Channel

    Keep in Touch and Find Out Whats

    Going On in the Clubs and at Events,

    As It Happens.

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    Laughs

    A Woman's Random Thoughts

    If you love something, set it free.If it comes back, it will always be yours.If it doesn't come back, it was never yours to beginwith.

    But, if it just sits in your living room, messes up yourstuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes yourmoney, and doesn't appear to realize that you had setit free... You either married it or gave birth to it.

    Insanity is my only means of relaxation.

    Reason to smile: Every 7 minutes of every day,someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.

    Women over 50 don't have babies because theywould put them down and forget where they leftthem.

    One of life's mysteries is how a 2 pound box of candycan make a woman gain 5 lbs.

    Laughs

    NASA's Ballpoint Pen

    During the heat of the space race in the1960's, NASA decided it needed a ball point

    pen to write in the zero gravity confines of itsspace capsules.

    After considerable research and development,the Astronaut Pen was developed at a cost of$1 million U.S. The pen worked and also en-

    joyed some modest success as a novelty itemback here on earth.

    The Soviet Union, faced with the same prob-

    lem, used a pencil.

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    SUDOKU

    The rules of Sudoku are simple. Enterdigits from 1 to 9 into the

    blank spaces. Every row must containone of each digit. So must

    every column, as must every 3x3square. Each Sudoku has a

    unique solution that can be reachedlogically without guessing.

    The Solution is at the end of the Book.No Peeking.

    HOT SPOT MAZE

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    1998-2010

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