Parent Academy

March 2015

Presented by

Sandy Fehte, April Gonzalez

and Joanne Kerekes

Quiet: The Power of

Introverts

Based on Susan Cain’s,

Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a

World that Can’t Stop Talking

Do NowAre you an extrovert, introvert,

or somewhere in-between?

Take the Quiz:Hard Copy on Your Tables

OR...Go to:

http://www.thepowerofintroverts.comClick on Quiet the Book

Click on Quiet Quiz

OR... Click on the QR Code:

As we begin...

• Presenter Introductions

• Disclaimer

• The enduring

understanding or the big

idea behind tonight...

“It’s not introverts vs

extroverts. It’s just

giving voice to the more

quiet among us.”~ Susan Cain

Tonight’s Objectives

• Parents will be able to better

understand the needs of

introverts.

• Parents will be able to support

their introverted children and

recognize their social and

emotional needs.

The questions we will ponder...

• Knowing that preferences for

introversion and extroversion exist:

~How do you find your “sweet spot”?

~How do you survive when you’re not in

your optimal environment?

• Does one type have an easier road to

success over the other?

• Is it possible for members of the

“opposite type” to communicate?

• How can we cultivate both types of

children-- our introverts and our

extroverts?

Introverts are in good company!

Did you know that these people

were introverts?• Rosa Parks

• Mahatma Gandhi

• Eleanor Roosevelt

• Albert Einstein

• Warren Buffett

• J.K. Rowling

• Frederic Chopin

• Theodor Geisel (Dr. Seuss)

• Steven Spielberg

Part I:

Theory, Research and

FindingsThe North & South of Temperament

Characteristics of Introverts and Extroverts

The role of Destiny

Dandelions and Orchids

The “Extrovert Ideal” and perceptions over time

Preferences and a “just right” environment

The Foundational Theory

Jung’s Psychological Types• Two attitudes (The north and south of

temperament)

– Introversion

– Extroversion

Myers-Briggs Personality Test• Two Judging

– Thinking

– Feeling

• Two Perceiving

– Sensation

– Intuition

Extroverts usually…

• are influenced by the environment

• are confident in unfamiliar

situations

• tend to be optimistic and

enthusiastic

• like to make a good impression

• avoid being alone

• prefer action

• are risk-takers

Introverts usually…

• are happy alone and “recharge”

• have a rich imagination

• are more serious

• prefer reflection and thought to activity-

observe more

• are careful

• prefer less stimulation (quiet)

• seek meaning

The Extrovert IdealAncient Greeks, Carnegie, and a

Market Society

• Developed over time

• The belief that ideal “extrovert”

qualities include…

– Gregariousness

– Boldness

– Self-assuredness

– Charisma

– Magnetism

The Role of Destiny: Is it Nature or Nurture?

Longitudinal Studies of Jerome Kagan

Temperament- inborn, biological &

emotional base (nature)

Personality- what emerges after

influence and experience (nurture)

Studies of infants through adolescence

• High reactive infants - more introverted kids (20%)

• Low reactive infants - more extroverted kids (40%)

• And..in between infants- ambivert kids (40%)

• Can never shed genetic inheritance...but can be

nudged, nurtured and stretched

A Continuum:From Dandelion Kids,

To Orchid Kids

All affected by experience

All malleable-- for the better

But with orchids...• Invest the time

• Make the effort

• Read the cues

• Respect the individuality

• Be warm but firm with expectations

• Because…

“In the right conditions, they’ll grow strong and magnificent.”

The Rubber Band Theory

Individual Rubber Bands

–At rest (genetic self)

–Elasticity - Stretch

–Breaking points

–Recharge

–Return to homeostasis (at rest)

Know your “at rest” preferences and...

Know what you need in order to “recharge”

–Flow

–Optimal place

–Comfort zone

–Sweet Spot

–Just right place: “just enough” stimulation

–Where is yours? Your child’s? Other family members?

–What do you/your child do when forced out of it?

Part II: What happens

when the types come

together

Communication between

Coexistence with

Perceptions of success

Some successful pairings

The meeting of two

personalities is like the

contact of two chemical

substances; if there is any

reaction, both are

transformed

-Carl Jung

One Minute to think;

Two Minutes to respond.

Consider the members of

your family.

How do members of the

opposite type

communicate and co-

exist?

Short Video

Extrovert Ideal-RSA

Think and Write

When you think about

success in college,

career, and life, do you

think one type has an

easier road to success?

Why or why not?

Famous Pairings

● Sonny and Cher

● Penn and Teller

● Rosa Parks and Dr. Martin

Luther King, Jr

● Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt

● Bert and Ernie

● Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennett (Pride & Prejudice)

Now, think of your own “pairings.”

Part III:

Given all of this, now

what can a parent

do?

Cultivate and Celebrate

Tips for Nurturing Introverts

Tips for Nurturing All Children

Some Resources

A Closing Manifesto

How can we cultivate introverts

and celebrate extroverts?

Tips for how to cultivate

quiet kids in a world that

can’t hear them.

Tips for Nurturing Introverts

• Watch each situation & its

layout; avoid “high interaction”

areas for any length of time.

•Support your child’s entrance

into new situations: think gradual

release.

•Encourage “self talk” before

entering a stimulating or

potentially stressful environment.

•Use wait time-think time so your

child has time to process.

More Tips for Introverts•Don’t force it- start small.

•If your child is shy, don’t let

them hear you call them that.

•Have a think-ahead “exit

strategy” when your child is

feeling overstimulated.

•Help your child identify his/her

“just right” level: not too much

stimulation but not too little.

Tips for Nurturing All Children

• Be alert to your child’s passions

and encourage them.

• Don’t think of introversion or

extroversion as something that

needs to be “cured.”

• Capitalize on the strengths of

one another; celebrate and

communicate that to each other.

• Find the middle ground- the

intersection

More Tips for All

• Move yourself out of your

sweet spot (comfort zone);

model that for your child.

• Firmly (but kindly) nudge your

children to do the same.

• Finally, “Don’t just accept your

children for who they are-

treasure them.”

The Wind howls, but the

Mountain remains still.~Japanese Proverb

Introverts in Literature:

FerdiFerdinand the

Bull, in The

Story of

Ferdinand, by

Munro Leaf

Jane Eyre, in

Jane Eyre, by

Charlotte

Bronte

Sherlock

Holmes, in A

Study in

Scarlet, by

Sir Arthur

Conan Doyle

The Ugly Duckling, in

The Ugly Duckling by

Hans Christian

Andersen

Patroclus, from The Song

of Achilles, by Madeline

Miller

A Manifesto