community spec script: sports medicine

7/29/2019 Community Spec Script: Sports Medicine

1/34

COMMUNITY

Sports Medicine

By

Dino-Ray Ramos


2/34

COLD OPEN

INT. TROY, ABED, AND ANNIES APARTMENT - NIGHT

With a Friday Night Lights filming style, Troy is in a darkliving room watching old clips of his hey days of high

school football. He is getting a little bit emotional. Wesee Dean Pelton enter the room.

DEAN PELTONNostalgic, are we?

TROY(caught off guard)

How long have you been standingthere?

DEAN PELTONLong enough Troy. (Beat.)

Long enough.

TROYI recently had all my high schoolfootball DVDs transferred to videocassette tapes so that I couldfinally use the VHS part of myVHS/DVD combo player.

DEAN PELTONYou know Troy, the annual GreendaleCommunity College Varsity vs.Junior Varsity Football Game iscoming up soon. I like to call itG.C.C.V.V.J.V.F.G. for short --

TROYNo, Dean. I am not going to play.We already tried that once and once

was enough. Lets face it --my days of being the Greendale QBare over.

DEAN PELTONIm not asking you to play Troy. I

want you to do one better.

TROYDo you want me to dress up as theGreendale Human Being? I dont knowif I would be comfortable in thatoutfit. It looks like Silly Puttysmells.

(CONTINUED)


3/34

CONTINUED: 2.

DEAN PELTONOh God no! Ive always fantasizedabout Jeff in that costume. I wantyou to coach the J.V. team.

TROY

Thanks Dean, but I think I am donewith the game. Plus, I dont knowif I am qualified.

DEAN PELTONQualified schmalified Troy! You

were an all-star football player inhigh school and -- well -- thatsabout all the qualifications youneed. Plus, you get to wear asnazzy windbreaker everyday.

TROY

(at full attention)What about a headset and a whistle?

DEAN PELTONI think that can be arranged.

TROYWell, I guess youre looking at thenew coach of the GreendaleCommunity College J.V. footballteam.

DEAN PELTON

(shakes Troys hand)Glad to have you on board CoachBarnes!

TROYI do have one more question Dean.

DEAN PELTONWhats that?

TROYWhat are you doing in my apartmentin the middle of the night?

DEAN PELTONUm. (Beat. Shifts eyes.) Um.

END OF COLD OPEN

(CONTINUED)


4/34

CONTINUED: 3.

ACT ONE

BEGIN GREENDALE COMMUNITY COLLEGE MONTAGE

With continued Friday Night Lights shooting style, we hearGreendales Sports Radio show hosted by Fat Neil. He istaking calls from listeners about Troy being appointed as

the new coach of the J.V. team.

EXT. GREENDALE STUDENT QUAD - DAY

Students are hanging out casually in the quad. Theyare spirited and dressed in Greendale Community CollegeHuman Beings apparel: T shirts, facepaint, signature schoolcolors. Some are dressed as the Human Being mascot. They areclearly excited for the big game.

EXT. GREENDALE FOOTBALL FIELD - DAY

Troy, dressed in an admirable windbreaker, looks serious ashe yelps orders to his confused J.V. team. One of the team

members is carrying a lacrosse stick.

INT. GREENDALE HALLWAYS - DAY

We see shots of various super-spirited, hand-paintedGreendale banners and posters promoting the upcoming gameadorning the hallways of Greendale. There are variousposters and banners with the following slogans: "GREENDALEPRIDE!", "HUMAN BEINGS ARE WINNERS", "THERE IS NO I INTEAM", "FOOTBALL IS LIFE, THE REST IS JUST DETAILS", "READYTO RUMBLE", "VICTORY FOR VARSITY!", "WE BELIEVE IN JUNIORVARSITY!". We also stumble upon one of those old promoposters with Jeffs face on it. We see Jeff walk past it. Hedoes a double take and then tears it down.

FAT NEIL (V.O.)Good morning Greendale! This is FatNeil with Human Beings SportsRadio. We are days away from thebig Varsity vs. Junior Varsity gameand the biggest news is that Dean

Pelton has appointed Troy Barnes tobe the coach of the J.V. team. Ourphones have been going crazy aboutthe news so lets take some calls.

MALE CALLER #1 (V.O.)(with a heavy Southern accent)

Hi Fat Neil. I dont know what DeanPelton is thinking. Troy Barnes has

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)


5/34

CONTINUED: 4.

MALE CALLER #1 (V.O.) (contd)no business being on that field.Just because he was a football starin high school, that dont make himno coach!

FAT NEIL (V.O.)

OUCH! Those are fighting words!Lets take the next caller. Hello,youre on the air.

FEMALE CALLER (V.O.)Coach Barnes has got a lot ofpressure on him. I mean, the JuniorVarsity team hasnt won against theVarsity team in God knows how long.I dont know if he is smartenough to change that. On theother hand, he is looking mightyfine walking around campus in that

windbreaker and those snug coachshorts. His calves are like to leanveal cutlets.

FAT NEIL (V.O.)Good point. Next caller, youre onthe air!

MALE CALLER #2 (V.O.)Ummmm. I just wanted to get thetime and the weather.

INT. STUDY ROOM - DAY

Annie, Shirley, Britta, Pierce, and Jeff are at the tablewaiting for Troy.

ANNIENow, when Troy walks in, I dontthink we should mention anythingabout all those nasty thingseveryone is saying about him.

BRITTA

Why not? In psychology, we learnthat we should confront adversity.The more we avoid it, the more it

will grow and fester.

JEFFLooks like someone has been havinga Dr. Phil marathon.

(CONTINUED)


6/34

CONTINUED: 5.

BRITTAJokes on you -- I get most of myinformation from Analyze This.

PIERCEI think its pronounced "Anal EyesThis".

The group looks disgusted and confused.

PIERCE (CONTD)You guys are talking about the 70sfetish documentary about farsightedproctologists, right?

Everybody groans louder.

SHIRLEYI agree with Annie. We shouldnt

mention anything. Troy can be very

sensitive. Remember when he foundout that Madgascar wasnt based ona true story?

JEFFAgreed. Lets just not talk aboutit unless he brings it up.

Troy walks in, with a middle-age coach swagger.

TROYHi everyone.

Everybody greets him with a cautious smile.

TROY (CONTD)What are you guys up to?

ABEDWe were just discussing whether ornot we should mention how everyoneis talking about how bad of ajunior varisty coach you are.

JEFF

(deadpans)Way to not talk about it Abed.

ANNIE(concerned)

We heard all that mean stuff peoplewere saying about you on the radiothis morning. How are you takingit?

(CONTINUED)


7/34

CONTINUED: 6.

TROYPeople on the radio arent real.Theyre just voices coming out of a

machine -- like the See n Say guyor Mario Lopez.

ANNIEWell, we are here to support youTroy. If theres anything you need,just let us know.

ABEDTroy has to overcome this situationas a new football coach just likeCoach Taylor.

SHIRLEYWhos Coach Taylor?

ABEDHes the protagonist of FridayNight Lights -- the underrated TVseries, not the overrated movie. Inthe show he is having a difficulttime adjusting to his new role as acoach of a winning football team.The local community isntsupporting him, but it is his jobto rise to the challenge, prove hisnaysayers wrong, and ultimately winthe big game -- which isnt just agame. Its a metaphor for life.

TROY(gives a wide-eyed smile)

Whoa! That is deep. (Turns to Abed)You want to be my assistant coach?I can use a good mind like yours onthe team. Plus, we get to wear

matching windbreakersand headsets.

ABEDCool. (they do their trademarkhandshake)

PIERCEId be happy to help too. You know,I was an all-star football playerback in my high school hey days.

(CONTINUED)


8/34

CONTINUED: 7.

JEFF(mocking)

You played football? Tell me Pierce-- how was it like wearing leatherhelmets and codpieces?

PIERCE

Dont mock me Jeff. I was the starplayer!

The group laughs mockingly.

TROYI think Abed and I will do fine onour own.

ABEDYeah. Were going along the storyarch of a underdog high schoolfootball team from Texas not a

mediocre football screwball comedyset in the 30s starring GeorgeClooney.

PIERCEJust so that you know, I was allstate my senior year in highschool.

Again, the group laughs mockingly as they pack up theirstuff and leave. Pierce sits there, obviously offended.

PIERCE (CONTD)I was!

They laugh louder.

INT. HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS

Jeff, Annie, Shirley, and Britta are walking from the studyroom and Dean Pelton approaches them, wearing a GreendaleCommunity College cheerleader uniform and carrying pom poms.

DEAN PELTON

(with Dean-esque spiritedenthusiasm, he startscheering)

Two bits! Four bits! Six bits! ADollar! All for Jeff, Annie,Shirley and Britta! Stand up andholler!

Everyone looks on with awkward amusement.

(CONTINUED)


9/34

CONTINUED: 8.

JEFFWhat do you want Dean?

DEAN PELTONAs you have noticed, the school hasbeen Dean-fected with the Human

Being spirit and we need your help!

JEFFWhat do you want us to do? Delousethe campus?

DEAN PELTONVery funny, Jeffery! I want you andyour rag tag group of buddies tohelp pump that spirit up even more!I am appointing all of you as theofficial booster club! In exchange,I will give each of you a credit

for kinesiology!

SHIRLEY(excited)

Oooh! A booster club! That soundsuplifting!

ANNIE(just as excited as Shirley)

Yeah it does! Is it some sort ofanti-roofie club?

DEAN PELTON

Close! Its a club that organizesfundraisers and events that helpcollege organizations. In thiscase, its the football team!

SHIRLEYWhat do they need money for?

DEAN PELTONTo pay the electricity bill for thefootball stadium in time for thebig game. Otherwise, itll just bea bunch of sweaty guys in tightspiling on top of each other in thedark -- and not in a good way.

BRITTAWait a minute! Why is there abooster club for the football teamand not the psychology department?

(CONTINUED)


10/34

CONTINUED: 9.

JEFFBecause no one cares about thepsychology department except foryou and the professor who was aconsultant and Jodie Fosters bodydouble on Nell.

DEAN PELTON(under his breath, but stillaudible)

That is true.

BRITTANuh-uh! Our department is cuttingedge. We just learned how to useelectroshock therapy machines.Speaking of, we need new machines.Why cant the booster club raise

money for that?

JEFFMaybe its because electroshocktherapy machines are as current asthat pager you insist on carryingaround. (Turns to the Dean) AndDean, I dont think I can be a partof this booster club.

DEAN PELTONWhy not?

JEFFFirst off, unlike Shirley and

Annie, I dont get excited to raisemoney so that a bunch of footballplayers could have the latesttechnologically advanced moisture

wicking jockstrap. Secondly,because I dont want to.

DEAN PELTONWell, Jeff, you have to dosomething for your kinesiologycredit. Im not taking no for ananswer!

JEFFFine. Is there there anotheroption?

DEAN PELTONYou can join the junior varsityteam.

(CONTINUED)


11/34

CONTINUED: 10.

JEFFWhat?!

DEAN PELTONNow dont get all fussy. You willhave to join the team as the third

string quarterback. Im 99.9percent sure that you wont have toplay. All you will have to do ispour your taut body into thatskintight uniform and watch fromthe sidelines.

JEFF(after some pensive thought)

OK. Fine.

DEAN PELTONYay! (ruffles his pom poms) So it

is settled! Shirley and Annie willwork their magic as boosterbunnies; Jeff will slip himselfinto a nice pair of shoulder padsand a -- (sizes up Jeff) large?extra large cup? And Britta (Beat)

well Britta will --

BRITTABritta will be the Greendaleadvocate for Academics before

Athletics! Raising money forlearning is better than funding a

barbaic, sexist sport!

Everybody groans and goes their separate ways.

BRITTA (CONTD)Fine! I dont need your help orsupport!

She stands in the hallway for a beat in silence as halltraffic shuffles past her.

LEONARD (O.C.)Show us your boobs!

BRITTAShut up Leonard!


12/34

11.

EXT. GREENDALE FOOTBALL FIELD - DAY

Troy is yelling orders at the team as they train. He sees anunproductive Jeff on the sidelines in full uniform, flirting

with Quendra.

TROY

(infuriated, he takes off hiscoachs cap)

Winger! If you have time to fiddlewith that little filly, youshould have time to fiddleyourself on the field!(Beat) Yes, Irealize what I just said!

JEFF(with a cocky swagger, heshoos Quendra away )

Relax coach. I showed up, didnt I?

TROY(irritated, he gets closer tohis face)

You are walking a fine line son!Now you better watch that lipbefore I make you run suicidesuntil the day is done.

Jeffs phone rings.

JEFF(he grabs his phone and smilesarrogantly at Troy)

I have to take this. (he walksaway)

TROY(yelling, even more irritated)

Winger! You owe me 20 suicides!(Beat) You got that Winger?! 20suicides! (Beat) I dont know whata suicide is but it sounds like akiller punishment!

Abed walks over.

ABEDWhats the problem, Coach?

TROYSince Jeff is a third string QB hethinks he doesnt have to train

with the rest of the team.

(CONTINUED)


13/34

CONTINUED: 12.

ABEDLike every successful footballcoach, you need to be a fatherfigure to your team, no matter how

much they resist. Even more so withJeff because he never knew his

father. Youre like DenzelWashington in Remember the Titans.

TROYOr a black version of SandraBullock in The Blind Side?

ABEDRight. You need to fuel hisconfidence and dedication to theteam. He needs something to playfor and so far theres nothing. Youneed to inspire him.

The more confident varsity team comes on to the field withtheir coach - Chang. Troy and Abed are a bit shocked.

CHANGCoach Jackson, Coach Patel -- Ijust thought I would stop by andshow you what a winning team lookslike.

TROYChang? Youre coaching the varsityteam?

CHANGDont act so surprised. Asians knowfootball just as well as anyoneelse. Who do you think came up withidea for the yellow penalty flag?

TROYIm not surprised because youre

Asian. Its because youre Chang.

CHANG(scoffs)

Whatever. You might as well give upnow. Your puny Tecmo Bowl teamdoesnt stand a chance against myvarsity boys. We wear letterjackets. Do your boys have letterjackets?

(CONTINUED)


14/34

CONTINUED: 13.

TROY(steps up to Chang, with hisfinger in his face)

No they dont! Because no oneshould be wearing a letter jacketin this warm weather! But you know

what we do have?

CHANG(scoffs again, with moreconviction)

Whats that?

TROYHeart -- and lots of it.

CHANGHah! Shows how much you know! Youdont need heart for football! Allyou need is a foot and a ball. It

says so in the name!

TROY(starts to get mad, but thensmiles)

I think you have spent enough timeinterrupting my practice. If youhave something to prove, bring itto the field on Friday.

CHANGWhatever. Youre wasting my timeanyway. I cant wait to humiliateyou and your poor excuse for ateam. Varsity team, out!

Chang snaps his fingers and like a pack of clydesdales, histeam shuffles off the field.

TROY(with intense seriousness)

Coach Nadir, get over here!

ABEDWhat is it Coach?

TROYI need to know one thing. (Beat) Dothey still sell Tecmo Bowl?

ABEDYes they do. One for Nintendo DSand PS3.

(CONTINUED)


15/34

CONTINUED: 14.

TROY(with relief)

Yes!

INT. GREENDALE CAFETERIA - DAY

Annie and Shirley are selling booster brownies and treatsat a booster club table with a long line. Britta is sittingacross the cafeteria. She sees them and rolls her eyes.Pierce and Chang sit at the table behind her. She knowstheyre up to something bad. She slouches down in the boothso they dont notice her eavesdropping.

PIERCESo I guess it is settled. I amofficially the assistant coach forthe varsity football team.

CHANGNow lets not jump the gun. Whatcan you bring to the table? I coachnothing but winners, so I expect mystaff to be winners. Are you winnerPierce? (leans in with intesity andpoints his finger at him) Are you?!

PIERCE(calmy)

I was an all-star player at my highschool. I took my team to two and ahalf state championships as team

captain.

CHANGTwo and a half state championships?

PIERCEYeah. The 1/2 game was against ahigh school of dwarves and amputees(Beat). Sure, your Oriental almondshaped eyes can zero in on the most

minute details of whats happeningon that field, but you need me.

At first, Chang is offended. Then he sees his point.

PIERCE (CONTD)In addition to my experience andresources, I have the money for newequipment. And most importantly, Iknow what makes Coach Barnes tick.I know he is weak and lacks

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)


16/34

CONTINUED: 15.

PIERCE (CONTD) (contd)confidence. You, on the other hand,are a Mongol.

CHANGYou mean mogul?

PIERCENo. Mongol -- like a mongoloid. Youare also a the most preeminentcommunity college football coach inthe 5-A community college district.

CHANGWe have districts? And what does5-A mean?

PIERCEExactly. (leans in) That is

why you need me.

CHANG(looks at Pierce intently)

Deal.

They shake hands. Britta listens on with concern and shock.

CHANG (CONTD)So what should be our first move tobring the junior varsity team down?

PIERCEDJ Fat Neil just reported onTwitter said that Jeff has beenassigned as the third stringquarterback.

CHANGHe wouldnt last a second as thequarterback of that team.

PIERCEMy thoughts exactly. We need tofind a way to get him to be the QB

by Friday night.

CHANG(with a devious smirk)

By doing so, Jeff will lead theteam to an epic failure.

(CONTINUED)


17/34

CONTINUED: 16.

PIERCEAnd Troy, Abed and all the rest ofthat patronizing study group willbe nothing but a joke at Greendale.I -- I mean we -- will be theheroes of this school.

CHANGI think its time to get to

work...Coach Hawthorne.

They get up and walk away.

CHANGHey, you want to split a Cobbsalad? Im simply famished!

Britta sits up straight, mentally plans what she should do.She immediately gathers her stuff and rushes off.

END OF ACT ONE

ACT TWO

INT. COACHS OFFICE - DAY

Troy and Abed are planning for the big game. Abed is drawingup what looks like an elaborate play with Xs and Os on adry erase board as Troy looks on with intense focus.

TROY

(stands up and looks closelyat the board)

I cant wait until football startsincorporating flyingbroomsticks and Golden Snitchesinto the game.

ABEDI give it about 15 years, fiveyears after the fall of the RollerBall empire.

Britta lets herself into the office.

TROY(looks at herunenthusiastically)

What are you doing here?

(CONTINUED)


18/34

CONTINUED: 17.

BRITTAI think there is something youshould know.

ABEDWe already heard. You are the onlyone in the study group who refuses

to support the football teambecause of your passionate beliefsof academics before athletics. Thatkind of makes you a Julie Taylor.With a tad bit of Tami Taylor, yetstill maintaining the lesbianappeal of Tyra.

BRITTAWho?

TROY(matter of factly and upset)

Yeah. We read it on DJ Fat NeilsTwitter. You dont want to support

me and Abed as we lead the team toits first victory. Everyone else issupporting us, but Britta just hasbe different as usual. Why cantyou just be supportive?

BRITTA(a little melodramatic)

I didnt mean it that way. Isupport you! I just wish that theschool would support psychology. I

was angry! Please know my reactionwas in the heat of the moment!

TROY(a little more melodramatic)

I have had plenty of heat of themoments but that doesnt mean Iabandon my friends. Abed -- whatdoes that say? (he points to aninspirational poster hanging on the

wall)

ABEDFootball is life -- the rest isjust details.

TROY(melodramatic intensity)

Thats right! Football is life. Therest is just details. You are adetail Britta. You are a detail!

(CONTINUED)


19/34

CONTINUED: 18.

Troy turns around to compose himself.

BRITTA(on the verge of tears)

It may not show, but I support you.Otherwise, I wouldnt have come

here to tell you that Changhired Pierce as his assistantcoach. They are plotting someunderhanded scheme to bring yourteam down and I came here to warnyou.

TROY(looks at her in shock)

What?

BRITTAHow do you like that for a detail?

Britta walks out with a tomboyish strut.

ABEDShes definitely more of a Tyra.

INT. DEANS OFFICE - DAY

Troy enters the office and sees Jeff and Abed, heimmediately knows something is wrong.

DEAN PELTON

Coach, please come in and have aseat.

TROYId rather stand, thank you.

DEAN PELTONIll just cut to the chase. (sighs)It seems that your first and secondstring quarterback have gone

missing.

ABEDSo that leaves Jeff as QB1.

Troy is infuriated. Jeff, whose hair has grown a little,face turns into a mixture of anger and worry. Abed staresblankly.

(CONTINUED)


20/34

CONTINUED: 19.

TROYChang and Pierce are responsiblefor this. I know it. (turns toJeff) Winger, are you ready to stepup to the snap son?

JEFF(defeated)I dont think so. (stands up) Inever thought that I would actuallyhave to play this game. Im sorryCoach, but you cant win with me asyour QB. I quit.

Jeff walks out.

TROYDammit Winger! What are we going todo now? The game is tomorrow!

ABEDAnyone else notice how Jeffs hairhas grown longer in a just a week?

DEAN PELTONI like it. Its greasy-chic...likeBrad Pitt or Fiona Apple.

TROYCant we cancel the game Dean? Iknow Coach Chang and Pierce areresponsible for this! I cant get

another QB on such short notice.

DEAN PELTONIm sorry Coach, my hands are tied.I have a school full of HumanBeings who would maul me if I breakthis time-honored tradition. Plus,

weve already caused tons of mediabuzz for our half-time performanceof the Bare Naked Ladies.

TROYBNL?! Now we have to get Jeff toplay. Why does Jeff have to makethings so difficult?

Troy stomps out the door in a pouty temper tantrum. Abed andthe Dean sit there.

(CONTINUED)


21/34

CONTINUED: 20.

DEAN PELTONYou know Abed, I kind of lied.(Beat) I hired a hologram of theBare Naked Ladies to perform duringhalftime. It was way more expensivethan getting the real band.

ABEDEven cooler.

EXT. FOOTBALL FIELD - DAY

Chang and Pierce are sternly coaching the varsity as theywear old-timey football uniforms a la Leatherheads. Troy,angrily approaches them with a vengeance.

TROYPierce! Chang! I have a bone to

pick with you.

PIERCEYoure not coming anywhere near myboner, let alone with a pick.

CHANGIs that Barnes? I thought I smelledthe mix of Lemon Lime Gatorade andloser wafting my way. What do you

want? I have a winning team tocoach.

TROYJust so you know, I prefer coconut

water -- more electrolytes. (Beat)I know you two are responsible forgetting rid of our first and secondstring quarterbacks.

CHANGWe didnt do anything, Barnes.

TROYDo you think that picking off ourplayers one by one will help you

win the game?

CHANGI dont need help to beat yourlousy team.

(CONTINUED)


22/34

CONTINUED: 21.

TROY(turns to Pierce)

I expected this from Chang, but youPierce? I thought you were a better

man than that. We were roommatesman!

PIERCEYou had your chance for my help,but you laughed at me when I toldyou I was a football player!

TROYBecause it was funny!

PIERCEIt wasnt not funny. Whats funnyis picturing Jeff trying to be aquarterback. Sure, hell be

breaking boundaries for the gaycommunity, but he throws like agirl -- and by girl, I mean gayguy.

CHANG(scoffs)

Lets face it Barnes. You lose. Iwin. You and your buddies will godown in flames. You cant win thisgame with Winger as your QB!

TROY

(waits a beat and then buildsup confidence)

Yes we can.

CHANGNo you cant.

TROY(louder)

Yes. We. Can. (Beat) Not only isWinger one of the most underratedhair bands of the 80s, but itsalso the name of a man with pecsthe size of Pangea. And those pecs

will help us win.

CHANGI would like to see them try.

(CONTINUED)


23/34

CONTINUED: 22.

TROY(goes face to face with Chang)

Believe you me -- its going tohappen. And you will be the onegoing down in flames.

CHANGIll believe it when I see it.

TROYDid you have a Cobb salad forlunch?

CHANGYes I did. Why?

TROYI smell the egg on your breath andits making me crave one.

CHANGThe Greendale cafeteria serves thebest in the district.

TROYI know.

Troy starts to walk away, but stops.

TROY (CONTD)And Pierce...

PIERCEWhat?

TROYIm sorry I laughed at you. Imsure you were a great footballplayer back in the day. (Beat) Andits your turn on our Words WithFriends game.

Troy walks away. Pierce starts to feel upset for what he hasdone.

CHANGYoure on Words with Friends? Whydidnt you tell me? Lets start agame. Are you on Draw Somethingtoo?

(CONTINUED)


24/34

CONTINUED: 23.

END OF ACT TWO

ACT THREE

INT. HALLWAY LOCKERS - DAY

In spirited Greendale regalia, Shirley an Annie aredelivering spirit gifts to members of the football team.They approach Jeff, flirting with a cheerleader. His hairhas grown scraggily, yet he still looks ruggedly handsome.He has a hangover swagger as he carries a brown paper bag

with a bottle of beer in it.

ANNIEJeff, are you drunk?

JEFFWhy do you care?

SHIRLEYOh Jeff! You smell like the insideof a bowling ball. Whens the lasttime you took a shower?

JEFFWhy? Do you want to bathe me bigbooster momma? (pulls Shirley incloser)

SHIRLEY(shocked and offended)

Jeffrey!

ANNIEJeff! What has gotten into you?!You are in no shape to play intomorrow nights game!

JEFFIm not playing.

ANNIEBut you have to play! Youre thequarterback and without aquarterback, we dont have a teamand without a team we dont have agame!

SHIRLEYAnd without a game, all thoseendless hours of making boosterbrownies were for nothing! And that

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)


25/34

CONTINUED: 24.

SHIRLEY (contd)means you owe me money for my heftyCostco bill!

JEFFIt doesnt matter. The school

doesnt believe in me. Im thethird string quarterback. Im abenchwarmer. Im hot dog filler.Im a useless appendage. Im an"Americas Next Top Model" winner.

ANNIEYou may hate being the third stringQB, but you took that position fora reason -- not because you didnt

want to be a part of the BoosterClub but because you enjoyed thethought of being the leader of a

team.

SHIRLEYWe believe in you Jeffrey. Wealways do and we always will -- and

were just not saying that becauseof your irresistable charm, rockhard abs, and your patronizingsarcasm.

ANNIEYou are a born leader Jeff. Youlead us every week through some

crazy crisis. This is your chanceto prove everyone wrong and leadthe entire school through a crisis.You always inspire people bytalking about loyalty, respect, anddedication. If you pass up thisopportunity to personify theinspiration you subscribe to, thenyou are not only a hypocrite, but adisappointment.

SHIRLEY(she gives Annie a no-lookhigh five)

Truth.

Annie and Shirley start to walk away but Annie stops in hertracks and comes back to Jeff.

(CONTINUED)


26/34

CONTINUED: 25.

ANNIE(she hands him a spirited giftbag)

Here. Shirley and I had this madefor you.

Annie catches up with Shirley in the distance. Jeff opensthe bag. Its a Greendale Human Beings football jersey with"Winger" on it. The guilt has set in. He is now inspired.


Britta is sitting in the room at the table by herself. Troyenters.

TROYHi.

BRITTAHi.

Theres a crosstalk of apology. They both laugh.

TROYYou go first.

BRITTAIm sorry for being such a poopypants about you being the J.V.football coach. I know I should be

more supportive.

TROY

And Im sorry for jumping down yourthroat.

BRITTAIts OK. I understand how much thisgame means to you. Plus, theinjustice inflicted upon the J.V.team takes far more precedence overfunding for the psychologydepartment. We can always use

waterboarding instead ofelectroshock therapy. Its morecost effective.

TROYThanks for your support, but Idont even know if there will be agame anymore -- not without a QB.

(CONTINUED)


27/34

CONTINUED: 26.

BRITTAWhat happened to Jeff?

TROYHe quit.

BRITTAThat sucks. (Beat) Well, you knowwhat you need to do.

TROY(excited)

Break out into song TroyBolton-style?

BRITTANot quit.

TROY

(disappointed)Oh. But we share the same name.

BRITTAJust because Jeff quit doesnt meanyou have to. You have come this farTroy. You will figure somethingout. You will make it work and you

will come up on top. Im proud ofyou Troy.

TROYThanks Britta.

BRITTAPlus, Jeff is the mostself-absorbed person I know. He

will not turn down the opportunityto lead a winning team -- a winningteam with a winning coach. Justgive him time. Hell come around.

TROYHopefully hell come around bytomorrow night.

BRITTAOh! Theres one more thing.

Britta stands up and starts unbottoning her jacket. Troyeyes widen with a combination of excitement and fear.

(CONTINUED)


28/34

CONTINUED: 27.

TROYUmmm. Britta, if you are wearing a

whipped cream bikini under there --

BRITTA(she exposes her "GreendaleFootball is life, the rest is

just details" T shirt)You like it?

TROY(relieved)

I love it.

They hug in reconciliation. They smile. They look at eachother.

BRITTA(starts her bellowing ghettospeak)

Whatchya know about dem GreendaleHuman Beings!

TROY(awkwardly supportive)

Yaaaaay.

INT. GYM - DAY

Both teams and the rest of the school are gathered for a peprally the day before the big game. Dean Pelton (dressed in a

majorette uniform) is at the podium in front of a rowdycrowd in the bleachers -- with Shirley and Annie causing the

most overzealous spirited ruckus. Britta is in the audiencedoing her share of cheering. Troy & Abed are with theirfootball team standing to the Deans right, while Chang &Pierce are with their team (still in old timey uniforms) onhis left. Jeff is no where in sight.

DEAN PELTONHelloooooooooo Human Beings! Areyou ready for some football?!

The crowd erupts with cheering.

DEAN PELTON (CONTD)Before we begin, a couple ofhousekeeping rules. First off, weare only accepting cash for ticketsto the game. Unfortunately, we haveyet to implement a farm animalbartering system. So cash only! Noexceptions!

(CONTINUED)


29/34

CONTINUED: 28.

A small group of members from Future Farmers of Americastart booing in the audience.

DEAN PELTON (CONTD)Secondly, Id like to send aspecial thanks to Shirley and Annie

from the official Greendale boosterclub. They raised enough money to"electrify" the football stadium!

The crowd cheers. Annie and Shirley are proud.

DEAN PELTON (CONTD)They still have some brownies onsale so buy them while theyre hot!They are delicious and feel as goodgoing down as they do coming out!(Beat) Now, I would like tointroduce you to Coach Chang of the

varsity football team.

The crowd cheers. Chang steps up to the podium witharrogance.

CHANG(motions for the crowd to shutup)

What makes a winning team?

Silence from the crowd.

CHANG (CONTD)

Ill tell you one thing thatdoesnt make a winning team -- aloser ex-high school quarterback asa coach. Am I right or am I right,folks?

He scoffs and motions to Troy. Pierce is offended by hishateful words. The crowd remains silent.

CHANG (CONTD)Whatever. Varsity rules, juniorvarsity sucks. Were so going toChang Bang you on that field. Itslike that -- and thats the way itis.

Chang abruptly leaves the podium. The crowd is confused withscattered emphatic applause.

(CONTINUED)


30/34

CONTINUED: 29.

DEAN PELTONOK! Lets hear it again for CoachChang! (Pause) Now, coming to thestage is Coach Barnes of the juniorvarsity football team.

Troy steps up to the podium with emotional uncertainty. Hescans the cheering crow and sees Britta smiling at him withpride.

TROYYou know, Coach Chang is right. Iam a washed-up high school footballquarterback -- but when in ourlives have we not failed? We allfail. (starts pointing at randompeople in the audience) You willfail. You will fail. All of us willfail.

DEAN PELTON(under his breath)

Well this is kind of downer.

TROYBut...um....but... (freezes up)

The gym door slams in the silence of the gym. Its Jeff inhis jersey that Annie and Shirley gave him.

JEFF(interrupts the speech)

But we are all vulnerable -- andthats what makes all of usspecial.

Troy looks over at Jeff as he approaches the podium.

JEFF (CONTD)When I was asked to man up and bethe quaterback of the juniorvarsity team, I ran away. I was acoward -- but then two spiritedpeople talked some sense into me.

He looks at Annie and Shirley and they smile.

JEFFI was afraid of failure -- but weshouldnt be afraid of failure. Itis what tests us. Its what makesus stronger and wiser. (Pause) Youknow, Changs poorly executed trash

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)


31/34

CONTINUED: 30.

JEFF (contd)talk should not and will not breakour spirit. At the end of the day,failure is a version of quittingand Coach Barnes and my team neverquit me, so I wont quit them or

myself. Most of all I wont quitGreendale.

Jeff looks over at Troy. Troy nods. Jeff nods back.

JEFFGreendale forever!

The crowd erupts with cheers as Troy and Jeff give eachother a hearty handshake.

TROYSo I take it that youre back on

the team.

JEFFOnly if you have me.

TROY(smiles)

You already have the jersey...Ithink we can make room for you.

JEFFFull eyes.

TROYClear hearts.

JEFFAlways win.

TROYAlways win.

The pep rally starts to disperse. Jeff and Troy stand therelooking at each other and share a moment.

TROY (CONTD)What the hell are you waiting for?

A hug or something? Get out ofhere!

Jeff walks off to meet up with Annie and Shirley. Troy seesBritta in the distance and they exchange glances of pride.He gets a message on his phone. Pierce has played the word"SARI" on their Words With Friends game. He turns around and

walks up to Pierce.

(CONTINUED)


32/34

CONTINUED: 31.

PIERCEI didnt have the letters for"sorry". Plus, I thought spellingit the way Abeds people spell it

would have much more meaning.

TROYLook, Pierce -- kidnapping ourfirst and second string QBs wasunderhanded and unfair. This isexactly the kind of thing that

makes Liam Neeson angry -- and youdont want to see him angry.

PIERCEWhat? I didnt kidnap anyone. Ijust wanted to apologize to you forbeing a traitor to our group andjoining Chang -- which was a major

mistake. He claimed using theretro-cool uniforms was his idea

when it was all me.

TROYWait -- you didnt kidnap them?Then what happened to them?

DEAN PELTON(sneaking in and interrupting)

Oh. I forgot to tell you. It turnsout that the two missingquarterbacks werent missing after

all! They ran off to try out forThe Glee Project. They are doingreally well. They made the finalcut!

The Dean prances off.

PIERCE(relieved)

So they werent kidnapped. Theywere just gay.

Chang sees Pierce happily talking to Troy and angrilyapproaches them.

CHANG(to Pierce)

What do you think you are doingcohorting with the enemy? You workfor me. You belong to me!

(CONTINUED)


33/34

CONTINUED: 32.

PIERCEI belong to no one. (Pause) And youknow what? I dont like the way youtreat me or the players. I quit.

CHANG

Fine! We dont need you anyway! Yousmell like Ben Gay and chicken potpie! (mocking) I now pronounce youMr. and Mrs. Loser-son. Boo-yah!

Chang snaps his fingers and his team prances away with him.

PIERCESo what do you say? Do you forgive

me?

TROY(smiles at Pierce)

I forgive you just as long as youforgive me for accusing you ofbeing a kidnapper.

They shake hands.

TROY (CONTD)You know, we do need an equipment

manager.

PIERCEIll take it. How much does it pay?

They walk out of the gym together.

END OF ACT THREE

TAG


Troy and Abed are in full "Troy and Abed in the Morning" --except with a more Sportscenter feel, ready to interview FatNeil about his radio show.

TROYTroy and Abed in the

morning! (Beat) Sports!

ABEDTroy and Abed in the


(CONTINUED)


34/34

CONTINUED: 33.

ABEDWelcome to a special post-game showTodays guest is Fat Neil, the DJof Greendales Peabody-winningsports radio station.

FAT NEILWait -- what? I thought I was hereto interview you about winning lastnights football game.

TROYFunny! How long have you beeninterested in football and is ArenaFootball a real thing?

ABEDAnd how is it like to be therecipient of a Peabody award for

radio? Where do you keep youraward?

FAT NEILI dont have a Peabody award. Imconfused.

TROYIts interesting you bring that up,but we are all out of time!

ABEDPlease come back anytime, you are

always a joy to have on the show!

FAT NEILHuh?

TROYTroy and Abed in the


ABEDTroy and Abed in the


END OF SHOW

community spec script: sports medicine

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