the fuddler december 2011

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re on line too at www.thefuddler.com!

D & G SHORT

NEED A LOCKSMITH?

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on page 12Plus - All aspects of

home security

NEED AN ELECTRICIAN? NIC-EIC Registered

All electrical work Testing and Certification

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AMPTHILLELECTRICAL

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C&R PEST MANAGEMENT

40 Yrs experience Fully Insured Special Rates for OAPS!

Wasps, Rats, Mice, Rabbits, Moles, etc

Free Estimate01525 288207

07500 431131

once again that ‘Whatever you need - you’ll find it in The Fuddler!’ We hope you all have a truly joyous and peaceful Christmas and may we thank all our advertisers, contributors and readers for keeping The Fuddler as popular as it is today!

Hi everybody and a big festive welcome to another jam packed Christmas edition of your Fuddler.You’ll find lots of fun and lots of nonsense inside, plus lots of useful information and of course those all important messages from our advertisers showing

Brush and vac service Bird guard installation Nest removal Blockage removal

Great service • Great prices

01525 860424 07858 688785

[email protected]

Festive

37 Russell Drive Ampthill MK45 2TX Phone: 01525 402509

Mon – Sat: 6.30 am to 6.00 pm Sun: 7.30 am to 12.30 pm

Bank Holiday: 7.30 am to 12.30 pm

OPENING TIMES:

Off licence, lottery, food, snacks, plus ... Newspapers delivered

to your door!And ... There’s parking right outside the shop!

Call Alison today on 07956 467352 4 Airedale Close, Flitwick, MK45 1FA

Daytime, Evening and Weekend appointments available Gift Vouchers available

Special offers & Loyalty Card

Bio Sculpture Gel Nails: Hands £20.00 Toes £15.00 Special offer - Book together

Hands & Toes £30.00

Party Season offer - Spray Tanning Full Body £15.00 (offer ends 31 Dec)

Book a tanning party and the host will receive a FREEspray tan.

Lush Beauty

Eye Treatments: Eyebrow shape £6.00 Eyebrow Tint £6.00 Eyelash Tint £8.00 Eyelash Extensions: Full set £40.00

THE CHEQUERS Park Road, Westoning

Tel: 07873 876 506 / 01525 715 337

PIZZERIA SPECIALS! Delicious home made pizzas to eat in or take away

NOW TAKING BOOKINGS FOR CHRISTMAS PARTIES

Lunch and evening all through December (No food Christmas day)

OPEN CHRISTMAS DAY 12.00 - 3.00 AND 7.00 UNTIL LATE

NEW YEAR’S EVE Special 4 course dinner - please ask for details

Happy Christmas and a prosperous New Year from Patrick, Deborah and the team!

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Mains Herb and garlic crusted Cod loin, with saffron risotto and spinach

Pan Roasted Fillet, oxtail croquette, triple cooked chips and a bone

marrow sauce Roast saddle of lamb, black pudding hash, celeriac and carrot puree and

mustard gravy Roasted breast of duck, parsnip puree, poached pear and roasted sweet potatoes with braised red

cabbage Stuffed Turkey legs with roast veggies and cranberry gravy

Parsnip, cranberry and chestnut loaf

Desserts Christmas pudding with brandy custard

Sussex pond pudding with maple syrup Treacle Tart with clotted cream ice

cream & raspberry coulis

Chocolate mousse tart, Chocolate Sorbet

and Cappuccino Mascarpone

Espresso Ice cream and shortbread biscuit

Boozy trifle Coffee & homemade

chocolates

Christmas Menu 2011 - £35.00 per head Starters

Spicy Butternut Squash Soup with a chestnut dumpling

Wood pigeon Wellington with tempura mushrooms, spinach

and port gravy Smoked Salmon Scotch Egg

with aioli Grilled black pudding with pan

fried Foie Gras, watercress salad with an apple and vanilla

chutneyPheasant and Guinea Fowl

Terrine, piccalilli and toasted brioche

Goose risotto

COME & JOIN US THIS NEW YEAR’S EVE & SEE IN “2012” IN SWINGING

50’S & 60’S STYLE For details please see our website

33, RUSSELL DRIVE AMPTHILL

With Winter here, isn’t it time you considered replacing those doors and windows? Or maybe a new conservatory to enjoy. Don’t compromise on style - call into our showroom and see our stunning range of doors and windows including “The Composite Door”.

No window or glazing job too small.


We have been asked to publish the following list of Church Services that are taking place over the Christmas period. We hope that you find this helpful.

LOCAL CHURCH

SERVICES Ampthill Baptist

Church10th December, 7.30 pm – Christmas Concert 18th December, 10.45 am – Children’s Christmas Celebration 18th December, 6.30 pm – Carol Service Christmas Eve 24th December, 11.30 pm – Communion

Christmas Day 25th December, 10.00am – Family service

Ampthill Church of England – St Andrews

3rd December, 10.00 am – 5.30 pm, Christmas Tree Festival 4th December, 11.00 am – 5.00 pm, Christmas Tree Festival 5.00 pm – Christingle Service 11th December, 3.00 pm – Caravan Club Service 18th December, 6.30 pm – Carol Service (St Lawrence, Steppingley) Christmas Eve 24th December, 3.30 pm – Nativity Service 8.00 pm – Civic Carol Service

11.30 pm – Midnight Mass (St Michael and All Angels, Millbrook) Christmas Day 25th December, 8.00 am – Holy Communion 9.30 am – Sung Eucharist 11.15 am – Holy Communion (St Lawrence, Steppingley)

Ampthill Methodist Church

18th December, 6.00 pm – Candlelight Carol Service (This is a joint service at Ampthill with Flitwick Methodist) Christmas Day 25th December, 10.00 am – Joint Christmas Morning Celebration at Ampthill Baptist Church

New Year’s Day 1st January, 10.30 am – Service

Flitwick Catholic Church – Sacred

Heart Church 18th December, 3.00 pm – Carol Service Christmas Eve 24th December, 6.00 pm – Children’s Mass (Sacred Heart Church, Flitwick) 9.00 pm – Vigil Mass (Sacred Heart Church, Flitwick) Christmas Day 25th December, 9.00 am – First Mass for Christmas Day 11.00 am – Christmas Day Mass

DEVELOPMENT SITE FOR SALE

2 acre Brownfield development site at Sampshill Road, Westoning, MK45 5LB

for sale or to be let. Previously the site being sold by British

Railway at public auction. If the site is not sold by private treaty, it would be auctioned by Allsop on the 13th December 2011.

Contact:BLUE LINE PROPERTY

Tel: 01322 448270 Mob: 07958 433809

A M P T H I L L

CHRISTMAS GIFT IDEASSTUNNING GIFT SETS FROM GREAT PRODUCERS

12 Church Street, Ampthill, MK45 2EH Tel: 01525 405 929 Email: [email protected]

Fantastic gift ideas including beautiful gift

sets, gift wrapped wooden boxes plus

great deals on wines! Gift wrapped gifts

from just £5.50 and now over 80 Single

Malt Whiskies in stock

Back Neck Shoulder

Other muscle & joint pain

Tel: 01525 405759

The clinic is in Ampthill town centre, and you are most welcome to contact me for further advice about

osteopathy, and whether it could help you.

www.osteo-pathway.co.uk

1 Kings Arms Yard (off Church St)

Ampthill MK45 2PJ

OSTEOPATH Help for painful musculoskeletal conditions

Sharman LawS O L I C I T O R SIncorporating Sharman & Trethewy

The Solicitors who care for you,your family and your business

1 Harpur Street, BedfordTelephone: 01234 30 30 30

Email: [email protected]: www.SharmanLaw.co.uk

88 Dunstable Street, AmpthillTelephone: 01525 750 750


“The Fuddler” i s pub l i she d by MDA Publications and printed by Fidelity. The views expressed herein are not necessarily those of the publisher. No part of this publication may be copied in any form or by any means without written permission of the Publisher. Copyright MDA Publications.

Like to book an ad, or ask about our absurdly low rates please ring Martin on

LORD DEE’S PONDERINGS

I was recounting a conversation I had with the late great Check-It-Out and my old mate Duster about the time

when someone, who shall remain nameless, (actually it was Gracie)

telephoned me on a Sunday morning.

Right in the middle of the Archers!

Such impertinence! So now you know.

Seasons greetings to all Ciao

A BRIANISM I met someone today

who said their son had got a degree in maths

and art. I said they must be good at

painting by numbers.

Across: 1 Mullion, 5 Pails, 8 Dated, 9 Tarnish, 10 Chiropody, 12 Awl, 13 Misuse, 14 Rapier, 17 Ail, 1 8 C o n t a i n e r , 2 0 Untruth, 21 Mount, 23 Ended, 24 Redress.

Down: 1 Medic, 2 Let, 3 Indoors, 4 Notion, 5 Party, 6 Imitation, 7 Scholar, 11 Insulated, 13 Measure, 15 Alarmed, 16 Anchor, 18 Could, 19 Rates, 22 Use.

Visit our showroom. Over 70 modern andtraditional fireplaces and stoves on display.

1, Woburn Street, Ampthill, Beds

Tel: 01525 841199www.ampthillfireplaces.co.uk

Mon - Fri: 10am - 5pm Sat: 10am - 4pm

Ampthill Fireplaces are pleased to announce the

relocation of their showroom to new larger premises at1, Bedford Street,

Ampthill, early in the New Year

Times to suit you. 1st assessment FREE -

45 mins lessons ALL AGES

For further information contact Guy on 07811 364 328

AT HOME OR WORK Full and part valets, Hand washed and polished

Seats and carpets cleaned Call Nigel on 01525 261485

Mobile 07977 605987 email: [email protected]


Open from 10am for breakfast from Friday 23rd December through to Sunday 1st January

A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM ALL AT THE OSSORY ARMS

9 Arthur Street, Ampthill 01525 8411888 www.ossoryarms.co.uk

Thursday 15th December CHRISTMAS

CHARITYQUIZ NIGHT

All donations to Keech Cottage

Available throughout December “SKIP’S”

Homemade Mulled Wine

CHRISTMAS DAY Open 12 til 3pm

Join us for a complimentary mulled wine + mince pie

CHRISTMAS EVE ... PARTY THE NIGHT AWAY

LIVE MUSIC With OUR KEV

Seasonal Ales + Abbott Reserve available

throughout December

A variety of ‘different’ ciders available throughout December and the New Year!

EVERYBODY WELCOME

NEW YEAR’S EVE ...

See the new year in with a ..


Thanks for all your hard work Marjorie - Happy Christmas!!

Proximity

P

O

X

I

I Y

RT

M

Sandra’s working her way through another big book (dictionary?) so she’s found lots more words for us! See whether or not this one jumps put at you. (Answer at the bottom of the page if it doesn’t!)

Across:1 Absolute (5) 4 Pale fawn (5) 10 Confederate (7) 11 Undulate (5) 12 Dewy (5) 13 Cool Van anag (7) 15 Level (5) 17 Animal (5) 19 Begrudge (5) 22 Pest anag (4) 25 Sated (7) 27 Mandate (5) 29 Apparition (5) 30 More diminutive (7) 31 Hanker (5) 32 Talk foolishly (5)

Down: 2 Chronometer (5) 3 Ornamental shoulder piece (7) 5 Artist’s stand (5) 6 Junk (7) 7 Line of cliffs (5) 8 Town magistrate (5) 9 English county (5) 14 Long ago (4) 16 Entrust (4) 18 Berate (7) 20 Al Fresco (4,3) 21 Boasts (5) 23 Brief (5) 24 Austere (5) 26 Go in (5) 28 Small island (5)

1 2 3 4 5 6

7 8 9

10 11

12 13 14

15 16

17 18 19 20

21 22 23 24

25 26 27 28

29 30

31 32

*Maintenance *Drainage *Driveways

*Landscaping *Fencing *Patios

Contact: Andi Brackenridge T: 07789 681252Email: [email protected]

Your local specialist in UPVC for:- Windows, Doors, Patio Doors and

French Doors, Conservatories Fascia, Soffit and Guttering

Our windows and doors are 70mm internally glazed for security. All windows are fitted with fire hinges, locking handles, a twin action espagnolette mushroom headed bolt system, and with vent facility. Doors are fitted with claw and mortice lock, and panels are reinforced. Fully compliant with current FENSA Regulations, plus insurance backed guarantee.

ARAGON WINDOWSARAGON WINDOWS

CHRIS FREEMAN Tel/Fax 01525 403992

50 Russell Drive Ampthill Beds Established in 1990 and built on reputation

Electrical Contractor Domestic and Industrial

Your local Electrical Contractor All types of testing and certification undertaken

FREE QUOTATIONSNICEIC Approved Contractor

Working with Ampthill Town Council 11 Cedar Close, Ampthill, Bedford, MK45 2UD

Tel & Fax: 01525 714057

Brian WatersPainting and DecorationTel: 01525 405586 / 07771 [email protected]

■ Interior and exterior painting■ Wallpaper hanging■ Interior design and colour advice■ A professional eye for detail and finish

Quality decoratingdoesn’t cost more.


Registered Member of The British Chiropody and Podiatry Association

HPC Registration No. CH17913

THERESE GRAY FSSCh. Dip Pod Med. MBChA.Chiropodist/Podiatrist Surgery By Appointment

Telephone: 01525 841845 Email: [email protected]

ICE Integrated Clinical Excellence 35 Russell Drive

Ampthill MK45 2TX

SPOIL SOMEONE THIS CHRISTMAS......THE FEET ARE A

GOOD PLACE TO START. Corns, calluses, nails, bunions, verrucae,foot health advice, shoe advice, hot waxtreatments, reflexology and one hour

foot pamper.Gift Vouchers available

www.iceclinic.co.uk Everyone at ICE would like to wish their clients a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

Physiotherapy Acupuncture Osteopathy Podiatry Chiropody Massage Homeopathy Cranial Osteopathy Studio Classes

ICE Ampthill, 35 Russell Drive, Ampthill, Beds, MK45 2TX Tel : 01525 841845

ICE Olney, 10 Fountain Court, Olney, Bucks, MK46 4DG Tel : 01234 240117


Meerkat goes out with The Lady Margaret for ‘Posh Fish ‘n’ Chips’…

One would be forgiven wouldn’t one for thinking that ‘Posh Fish ‘n’ Chips’ – meant having ones delights wrapped in The Times or Telegraph rather than one of the considered ‘down market newspapers’ After all, one’s chips would not have to be subjected to tales of sensationalism or page 3! …so bad for the digestive system! But, oh no, Meerkat has got that idea completely wrong. On an outing with the Lady Margaret, Meerkat learned the true meaning of ‘Posh Fish

‘n’ Chips’…she explains…. “A group of us were all seated round the table at a local charity raising event; Our fish ‘n’ chips had been bought to our table each persons neatly wrapped in paper…so this is it…fingers to the ready or use that plastic cutlery which seems to snap when one just looks at it....but wait a minute….up onto the table came the bag…not just any old bag but a bag of quality and distinction with the name BUCKINGHAM PALACE written on it! A little bit of n a m e d r o p p i n g h e r e then!....right…. now what? Lady Margaret immediately delved into the bag and out came sets of fish knives and forks…not any old fish knives

and forks, O NO….ones with bone handles no less. Followed swiftly by decorative table napkins, a plate of already buttered and sliced bread, side plates to put this on and a cruet set! But that was not all…there was a wet wipe for all pairs of hands on completion of the meal…. ” Fish ‘n’ Chips with The Lady Margaret can be done with exquisite style and panache …It’s nice to know that not all standards have been dropped in this rather mixed up crazy world of ‘anything goes’!! HAPPY CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE …..Benedictus is back in February…

‘I don’t fink they will make me wear a Christmas hat as it’s December.’

Oh yes they will!

Happy Birthday Shirley for

3rd December COCKTAILS IN THE SUNSHINE!

Love Trevi xxx

Don’t forget Town Hall Antiques in Woburn. A wide variety of Antiques, the biggest stock of Moorcroft

around and always quirky things. If you’re looking to sell antiques speak to Elfyn

01525 290950.Market Place, Woburn, Beds. MK17 9PZ Open Every Day

email: [email protected]


THE OLD SUN Ampthill.

- CHRISTMAS EVE - THE OLD SUN CHRISTMAS PARTY

HOUSE SPIRITS BUY ONE GET ONE FREE

- SUNDAY 18TH DECEMBER - CHRISTMAS QUIZ AT 4:30PM

GET YOUR THINKING CAPS ON!!

- THURSDAY 22ST DECEMBER 8PM - AN EVENING OF CHRISTMAS CAROLS CONDUCTED BY MR RAFF AND LED BY MEMBERS OF AMPTHILL TOWN BAND

FUNCTIONS CATERED FOR PLEASE CALL FOR DETAILS

CONTACT TELEPHONE NUMBER 01525 405466

87 Dunstable Street , Ampthill MK45 2NQ

What’s on at CHRISTMAS 2011

- THROUGHOUT THE CHRISTMAS PERIOD - MULLED WINE AND OPEN FIRES

COME AND WARM UP AT THE OLD SUN

- NEW YEARS EVE - JOIN US TO SEE IN THE NEW YEAR - SCHOOL DISCO THEMED

PARTY LONG SHORTS OPTIONAL!!

THURSDAY 1ST DECEMBER 2011 OPEN MIC NIGHT FROM 8PM - SHOW OFF YOUR TALENT PRIZES FOR

BEST PERFORMER AND BEST JAMMING

- CHRISTMAS DAY - MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL OPEN 12 - 3


By Julio Van Peebles A slightly different format for this month - just one worry for Christmas ! 1) Has anyone ever been to buy a new bag for someone’s Christmas present and been asked "Do you want a bag?" The conversation goes on - "But I've just bought a bag" "Yes but do you want a bag for your bag?" "What a bag bag?" "Yes I suppose so." "Well, I wanted to put things in my bag, not my bag in a bag, that would be silly" "Yes, a silly bag" "Are you calling me a silly bag?" "No, I mean to put your bag in a bag would be silly, therefore the bag in which your bag is placed would be a silly bag" "Ah! so a silly bag bag?" "No, it would be a bag silly bag" " Anyway my new bag is already wrapped in a bag so putting it in another bag would make it a bag bag bag? Oh this is now really silly!!" "How about a bag for life?" "Don't start!!!!" Happy Christmas everybody Christmas top tip: Short of money this Christmas? Borrow some from a pessimist, then don't expect it back!!!

With Jimmy The Voice JTV is playing tricks with us again! He has been playing with his Christmas tree decorations and has created this for us ....

He reckons he can see a white square, but we don’t think it is really there! But what do you think?

Happy Birthday Hannah for

27th December.

Lots of love, Mum, Chris, David

and Jamie xxx

To Roxton and beyond!

Reasonable Rates Experienced Mechanic

Servicing Spares Repairs ON ALL MAKES OF CARS, MOTORCYCLES

LIGHT COMMERCIALS OLD AND NEW MOT’S ARRANGED, MOT WORK CARRIED OUT

Dick MolloyLocal

Painter & Decorator Free quotations

07872 93803728 years experience

Dunstable Street

Ampthill

Santa is Visiting Come and see him in our special grotto

Weekends of 10/11 & 17/18 December plus Christmas Eve Call 01525 840271

To pre-book a time to see Santa to avoid disappointment

Local Lower Schools will receive a donation from visits this weekend £6.00 1st child £11 for 2 £15 for 3 (same family)

ALSO… You can post your wish letters in his chimney

DON’T FORGET Children aged 4-13 yrs to enter the window scene competition


My friend’s husband is so silly that he had a photographic memory that was never developed. Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat sweets out of your socks? There’s nothing wrong with any relationship that a discussion with your girlfriends can’t worsen. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled Christmas is a time when people want their past forgotten but their present remembered. Did you know ‘listen’ and ‘silent’ use the same letters? Remember, no matter what anyone says, there is only one person that is you. Do you think that Santa’s helpers would be subordinate clauses? Never admit to being able to change a tyre. They have to feel superior at something. One good turn gets most of the duvet. Dear Santa, all I want for Christmas is a big, fat bank account and a slim body. Please don't mix them up, like last year.

Merry Christmas everyone! 1 Mistletoe, 2 Cranberry Sauce, 3 1818, 4 Hen, 5 Early 17th century, 6 Franklin Pierce, 7 1843, 8 364, 9 1647, 10 Claustrophobia!!!

1. What is another name for the Christmas plant ‘Viscum?’

2. ‘Marsh Warts’ make which Christmas food?

3. When was ‘Silent Night’ written?

4. What is a female turkey called? 5. When was Tinsel invented? 6. Who was the 1st American

President to decorate the White House Christmas tree?

7. In which year was ‘A Christmas Carol’ written?

8. If you received all the gifts in ‘The 12 days of Christmas’ how many would you have?

9. In which year was Christmas declared illegal in England?

10.What is a fear of Father Christmas called?

One day Babs decided to pop along to her doctor as she was having a recurring weird dream every night. The doctor asked her what the dream was all about. Babs explained that in her dream she was being chased by Father Christmas and his reindeer, and that she always came to a door which she could not open now matter hard she pushed it. The door just would not budge. The doctor asked Babs if there were any letters on the door, and if so what did they spell. ‘Pull’ replied Babs sensibly.

Enjoy 10% Discount off all Nail and Beauty Treatments at Pinkneys Beauty with this advert this Christmas. Come and relax in a home based Beauty Room environment located in Ampthill, where you will receive professional and personal Care and Service. Leave the stress of Christmas at the door while you receive a little treat for yourself!!!

Treatments Available: Bio Sculpture Gel Overlays Hands & Toes From £23

Shellac Manicure From £18 Jean Marin Prescription Facials £25

Plus many more - please ring for full list! Gift Vouchers also available

To make an appointment please call Jodie on 07776 190 510

‘Sparkle With Radiance this Christmas.’

50’s

70’s 80’s

60’s EXPERIENCED VOCALIST/GUITARIST

JOHN P All your golden oldies ROCK - SOUL - BLUES - DISCO - COUNTRY

ANY OCCASION

PRIVATE PARTIES - CLUBS - PUBS - OUTSIDE VENUES

TO BOOK YOUR FESTIVE ENTERTAINMENT CALL JOHN

Telephone: 01525 405992 / 07702 717587

THE ROYAL OAK 40 George Street,

WOBURN MK17 9PY

Tel: 01525 290 576 WOBURN’S BEST KEPT SECRET

NEW CHEF! NEW MENU!

Christmas parties catered for. Disco and Pop Quiz

Christmas Eve.

A full range of original and compatible ink cartridges and toners paper, envelopes, pens, binders etc

all at competitive prices

2012 DIARIES NOW AVAILABLE Unit 1, 101 Ampthill Road Flitwick Behind the Shell Garage

tel: 01525 633336www.businesspoint.uk.com


CANCER (June 22-July 23) It seems a move may be on the cards. However do not believe it will solve anything. It will only take your mind off it.

LEO (July 24-August 23) Always remember the old maxim ‘Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.’ Read into that what you will.

VIRGO (Aug 24-Sept 23) Be patient with the person that has become a little overbearing. You won’t want to cause a rift by upsetting them.

LIBRA (Sept 24-Oct 23) Travel appears to be at the forefront of your mind. It is unclear whether it is to the pub, a holiday or business. Whichever it is enjoy it.

SCORPIO (Oct 24-Nov 22) Career prospects look exciting and certainly a change in fortunes. Whatever you do, don’t let the doubters deter you.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 23-Dec 22) Now is the time to put into action all those thoughts that keep whirring round in your mind. 2011 looks set to be a splendid year for you.

CAPRICORN (Dec 23-Jan 20) Your outlook seems to be changing in a more positive way. Some people may raise an eyebrow as your new persona becomes more confident.

AQUARIUS (Jan 21-Feb 19) The planetary aspects indicate a tremendous amount of fun and joy heading your way. Ignore the others and follow your heart.

PISCES (Feb 20-March 20) Something seems to be in the air right now. It could mean a change in your career direction. Money worries fade into insignificance.

ARIES (March 21-April 20) Take a peek at the sillier side of life from time to time rather than take things too seriously. Lots of happiness is coming your way.

TAURUS (April 21-May 21) If things don’t seem to be going your way just now, you may not be using the right approach. Try keeping calmer.

GEMINI (May 22-June 21) You may find that you have an incredibly high level of energy. Whatever you do don’t waste it, put it to work to your advantage.

Outlook this month: Watch out for a large jolly man in a red suit

36 Dunstable Street, Ampthill Telephone 01525 634857

Xmas Grand 1p Prize DrawTop Prizes £500: £300: £100:

(tickets available at bar: £50 to Midshires Search and Rescue Charity) Drawn on Sunday 18th December 8.30pm

Open Xmas Day 12 - 3pm: Relaxing pre-Xmas Dinner atmosphere

New Years Eve: 8 til Late. Live music entertainment with John P Don’t miss 'Bootsie' in her fancy dress!

Russell and staff thank you all and wish you aMerry Christmas and Happy New Year

'Happy have we met. Happy may we part. And happy meet again.'


THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMASOnce upon a Christmas, Santa came to town,

He looked very worried, as he was going to let the children down. You see on his way to Ampthill his sleigh had broken down And while waiting for his little elfers the presses fell to the ground.

So now there all smashed and damaged, he didn’t know what to do, So he called his local Martins and said please help, I NEEEEED

YOU. That’s no problem they said to Santa, we have just what you need, So come park up old Rudolf while we give him a good feed. So

Santa enters Martins with a worried look in his eyes, But all of a sudden, what a great surprise.

The shelves are full of goodies, with toys and sweets all around, Santa is so happy, with the great shop that he has found.

There’s selection packs, any 2 for £5, Tubes of sweets, and they’re still only just a £1.

Boxes of chocs, crackers, diaries, hats, gloves, socks, scarves to name just a few,

And hey Santa, look at this chocolate, it looks just like you. Soon Santa is loaded, packed and off on his way

Saying thank you Martins, for saving Christmas day. So as my Christmas story, comes to the end,

It just leaves me to say happy Christmas to all our customers and friends.

So if you like to contact us please do in the normal way, It just leaves me to remind you we are only shut Christmas day.

The end MARTINS NEWSAGENT 17 CHURCH STREET

AMPTHILL. 01525 404096 (We are open till 16.30 on the last Sunday before Christmas please

see in store for details) OPENING HOURS

MON–WEDS: 10–5 THURS-FRI: 10–8SAT: 10–5 SUN: 11–4

FIND ‘BUCKLES’ DOWNSTAIRS AT ‘BUCKLES & BOWS’, OPPOSITE WAITROSE,CHURCH STREET, AMPTHILLMK45 2PL

CALL

FELIX ON 01525 406689 or 07734 837911

BUCKLESDESIGNER MENSWEAR

FUDDLED FOR ACHRISTMAS GIFT?

DON’T BE......YOU’LL FIND JUST THE RIGHT THING AT AMPTHILL’S NEWEST

MENSWEAR BOUTIQUE

BRING THIS ADWITH YOU FOR A 10% DISCOUNTOR LEAVE IT SOMEWHERE OBVIOUS

AS A GIFT BUYiNG HINT!DISCOUNT VALID UNTIL 24th DECEMBER

Buckles(&Bows)MenswearFACEBOOK

TWITTER @Bucklesmenswear

www.bucklesmenswear.co.uk

MENSWEAR FOR ALL AGES

Services include: Companionship Light housekeeping Local transportation

& errands Meal preparation Respite Support Convalescence support Shopping Personal care Specialist dementia &

Alzheimer’s careand much more...

Home Instead in (YOUR OFFICE) is part of a national organisation rapidly building a reputation as one of the UK’s leading care companies allowing older people to continue living in their own homes.

Call us on 01582 433749or email: [email protected]

110 Butterfield, Great Marlings, Luton, Bedfordshire LU2 8DLwww.homeinstead.co.uk

Being able to live at home can be one of the most important comforts in an older person’s life and because family and friends can’t always be there, Home Instead Senior Care are here to help.

From just a couple of hours a day, to full time care, our service is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

Home Instead in Luton &Central Bedfordshire is part of anational organisation rapidlybuilding a reputation as one ofthe UK’s leading care companiesallowing older people tocontinue living in their ownhomes.


Once again as part of its community commitment, Ampthill & District Rotary Club is inviting you to remember someone special by dedicating a light on the Ampthill Christmas Tree in the Market Square to them. Cards & envelopes are now available in churches, shops & the library. They will be handed out both at the Light’s Switch on on Sunday 27th November and in Waitrose at the beginning of December. Completed cards will be displayed in Phonus Insurance opposite the Market Square Christmas tree. You may wish to remember someone, thank someone who has helped you or wish someone a happy Christmas. We suggest a donation of £2.00 but you may give more or less; if you pay tax please fill in the details on the envelope so that we can claim gift aid on your donation. All money collected goes to local charities including the Mayor’s chosen charities. In the last three years, from this initiative alone, over £3,000 has been raised & distributed locally to organisations such as Keech, Jigsaw Club, See Saw Club, Ampthill Festival & the local schools. Please take your envelope with completed card and donation to Cheesemans the chemist or Phonus Insurance both in Church Street by 21st December. As well as raising money for local charities, we see this as an opportunity to engender community spirit whilst giving us all the opportunity to honour a loved one.

3rd December Happy Birthday Graham

x's from KT, Roo and all the cats!

Happy Crimbles Granni with love from Roo,

Mummy, Dasha and the boys xxx

Nisa Local & Post Office

D i s c o u n t

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Gentle Touch Healing is offering free healing at their new Healing Centre at Wrest Park Enterprise Centre, Wrest Park, Silsoe. You are able to book an appointment from 10.00am to 16.00pm Monday to Friday (Telephone 01525 863906) and other times are available upon enquiry. Alternatively use their drop-in service where no appointment in necessary on Tuesday evenings from 7.30pm to 9.00 pm, or Sunday afternoons from 2.00pm to 4.00pm. For more information and directions see www.gentletouch.co.uk.

On December 12th at 7.30 pm there is Ampthill and District Choral Society Christmas Concert. Tickets are £7.00 adults, and £1.00 children including seasonal fare. Drinks will be available to purchase. The programme will include a wide variety of music, poetry and other readings

There will be Carols on the Cobbles in Woburn on Monday 19th December at 6.30pm. More information from Kate at Matilda Bay in the village. • Also in Woburn, the last Farmers Market before Christmas is to be on Sunday December 18th.

Also on the 19th December there will be Christmas Carols round the tree in Ampthill, starting at 6.30pm accompanied by Ampthill Town Band.

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Thursday 22nd DecemberLive music from

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With Hayley - D.I.

OK - This is very serious. Where’s the

Stanley Knife? The Boss is fed up cutting things with the scissors on his Swiss Army Knife!

R e a d e r s h a v e b e e n commenting that when referring to the anachronistic ex-Landlord that I seem to pay particular attention to his aged, bewildered state. I will justify this by explaining that he is the only person I know who after viewing the ‘Antiques Roadshow’ is f i rmly convinced that he has just watched an episode of ‘Tomorrows World’!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO KATY FOR 25th DECMBER!

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‘It’s always there, taken for granted, a last port of call when all else has failed. Samaritans (it dropped ‘The’ ten years ago), one of the last bastions of the caring, community-minded world many believe is being eroded, is still very much here. And like most organisations selflessly working for others, it receives no funding from central Government. Can shaking’s just the tip of the iceberg for these essential charities scandalously overlooked for taxpayers’ help, a sad state of affairs on many levels. Take the Bedford branch of Samaritans; around 100 volunteers are required all-year ‘round for it to function effectively. It needs approximately £25,000 a year to stay afloat. Minimum. A very quick history lesson; vicar, Chad Varah, set it up in 1953 after attending the funeral of a teenage girl who had taken her own life. It galvanised him to do something which resulted in the formation of the Samaritans Within a decade there were several dozen branches. Now there’s 200. But, and this is key to the Samaritans’ ethos, its 17,000 volunteers do not dispense advice. “We don’t take people’s choices away – we simply listen,” explains Steve, a volunteer of more than 20 years (a stupendous stat as the average barely extends beyond three). “We ask questions, we listen and try to understand, but we’re in no position to offer advice. We’re just there for people who feel they have nowhere left to turn.” So why do it? Why give up days, evenings, nights to sit in an office waiting for that call? “Everyone has different reasons,” adds Steve. “It can be tough. We deal with some deeply distressing, situations. When I first started I used to take it all home with me... but we have a support system for our volunteers that is second to none, we have to.” Samaritans now offers an SMS and email service, as it evolves with the times. Its emotional support extends to music festivals and prisons. Steve adds: “It’s hard to quantify how many lives Samaritans saves. We’re just there to offer emotional support to those who need it ...” Competition for donations grows ever fiercer in the charity sector. Maybe it’s time to give Samaritans a helping hand back or may be even become a volunteer...’ Bedford Samaritans 23 Foster Hill Road Bedford MK402ES 08457 909090 Email [email protected] SMS text 07725909090

Extensions Conservatories & Windows Kitchens & Bathrooms Fencing PatiosElectrical And … Lots More!


1. ‘Here’s Granddad, you’ll recognise him by his smell.’

2. ‘Have you got any kids?’ ‘No, only grandchildren.’

With Flora the Explorer There are some people who just shouldn’t travel! ... A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, ‘Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state.’I got a call from a man who asked, ‘Is it possible to see England from Canada?’ I said, ‘No.’ He said ‘But they look so close on the map.’ Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour lay over in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ‘I heard Dallas was a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the gates to save time.’ A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!

3. ‘How old was your baby when he was born?’

4. ‘I’ve been playing drums for 20 years now.’ ‘I’ve been playing for 3 years.’ ‘What, so you play the drums then?’

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process again, but once the well-travelled feline arrived at Littleport for the second time it was given to the Cat Protection Agency, where it stayed until it was reunited with a happy owner a few days later. Of course, all this attention focussed on the ‘Fenline Feline’ will make WAGN’s celebrity cat slightly jealous. Pickles, a black and white tom, lives and works at Hornsey Depot. He is not just any old cat, but has featured in Your Cat magazine on severa l occasions and is held in high esteem by his work colleagues. His thoughts on this interloper should be best reported as ‘No comment’. Article found in a local newspaper in Ely by your very own Mammoth Man

A cat with definitely a mind of its own joined the 11.58 train from Kings Lynn one day last November (without, it must be said, a valid ticket). The train’s host spotted the stowaway, believed to have boarded at Littleport, and handed him in to a member of the platform staff at Ely station. The relaxed and friendly tabby was put in a box and handed to the host on the next train bound for Kings Lynn, and was taken off at Littleport and set free. Determined to travel, however, the moggy tried it again, crossing the line and boarding the next available London bound train. Arriving at Ely at 13.28, WAGN staff went through the whole

Happy birthday Shirley for the 7th from all your slightly over-refreshed

friends xxx

Happy Birthday Miggins for the 2nd January!!

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• • •

• •


From everyone at The Fuddler!

If you would like an ad in the New Year please ring Martin on 01525 841434

CHRISTMAS @ THE ENGINE

& TENDER

Come and try our mulled wine and cyder throughout

December

OPEN CHRISTMAS DAY

12.00 - 2.00

Join us to celebrate

New Year with Louise’s Chilli (!) and glass of champagne

Try your luck on the

Christmas Prize Board!

Dunstable Street Ampthill Tel: 01525 403319

email: [email protected] Engine & Tender - Bar

Organization

Gift vouchers also

available For more

information contact Simon on

07939 541 941

Xmas special

SIMON SHELTON PHOTOGRAPHY AMPTHILL

This special Xmas package includes

An individual or group studio portrait shoot

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At your request, we bring you again Philip Head’s recipe for

HOMEMADE MINCEMEAT

Mince pie time is coming up so forget all that shop bought stuff and make your own filling! First fill a long stemmed glass with a wine of your choosing and then assemble the following ingredients after a good slurp: 500 g Bramley apples cored and chopped into small pieces 250 g shredded suet 400 g raisins 250 g sultanas 250 g currants 250 g mixed candied peel - chopped small 400 g dark soft brown sugar Zest and juice of 2 oranges Zest and juice of 2 lemons 50 g almonds chopped small

5 tsps mixed ground spice 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon 1 tsp ground nutmeg 8 tablespoons brandy Put all the ingredients into a mixing bowl (BUT NOT THE BRANDY). Mix thoroughly and leave for 24 hours in a cool place. Pre heat oven to gas mark 4 (230o F, 120o C) cover bowl with foil and put in oven for about 3 1/2 hours. Remove from oven and as it cools stir occasionally. When cold stir in the brandy and pack into clean airtight jars which you cover with waxed paper discs and seal. Open more wine and refresh your long stemmed glass and enjoy a leisurely drink. The fruits of your labours may now be turned into pies or store for up to 2 years in a cool dark place. Thanks again Philip.

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4th December HAPPY BIRTHDAY

HELEN!!

Lots of love FG and Emma xxx

Happy Birthday Mr Hardie for the 3rd January

Love Gretchen

May I ask you on this festive occasion to select a number between 1 and 50. The number must have 2 digits and both digits must be a differing odd number. Then take your pencil and write down the number you have arrived at. Now look at the bottom of the page to see if I was right!

You chose 37

With James Shue Here’s a handy exercise that I came across to start on that all important road to fitness and well being. The exercise is designed to develop muscle strength in the arms and shoulders. As it seemed quite simple I thought I should pass it on. Stand on a comfortable surface where you have plenty of room around you. With a 2lb potato bag in each hand, extend your arms outwards from your

body and hold them there for as long as you can. Ideally try for a full minute. Repeat the exercise daily and you should find that you can hold the position a little longer. After a week or so move up to a 5 lb potato bag and then later even a 25 lb potato bag. Try each time to hold the bags for a full minute. Once you are feeling confident and comfortable try putting a potato in each bag.

Honky Tonk Music By Paul Roberts

Solo performing Trumpet player and vocalist with backing tracks Pubs, Clubs, Bars, Weddings

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Tel: 01525 404069 or Mob: 07973 971 209

A BIG Happy Birthday to Mike for the

31st December!!

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Home made Italian Food Vegetarian DishesBirthdaysPartiesSpecialOccasionsSeats up to 80 People

Any choiceof Starters

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THE RECORDING GIFT VOUCHER!

2 hours recording studio time with guaranteedresults to keep forever. Give a unique gift to thestar in your family!! Let them come and sing theirsong, play their guitar or keyboard and make a

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Top session guitarist and music producerKeith Atack has just opened his new studio inAmpthill and welcomes everyone if it is your

favourite karaoke tune you dream ofrecording, or guitar solo and track

come and make it happen!!

2 hour recording gift package / backing tracksand CD supplied

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Call Keith now for full details07962 373773

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I NEED A CO-DRIVERTO CROSS

THE GIBSON. Alice Springs to Well 35 on the Canning Stock Route 1976

Day 2 We moved on and nothing much happened! The map in this area is a sand coloured sheet with a vaguely horizontal dotted line wandering across it going WNW. We did dump two barrels of petrol under the meagre shade o f a C a s a u r i n a t r e e , (Allocasuarina Decaisneana, Desert Oaks). We would need it on the way back and why carry it both ways? Everyday, for one hour around

midday, the radio frequency of the Flying Doctor Service is available, subject to emergency traffic, for other civilian use by people such as us. It should have been possible for us to get through to Jan’s two way radio in the Alice Springs camp, but the lightening storms in the area made reception and transmission impossible. There was no visible lightening but the racket on the radio was unmistakable! Around mid afternoon, it clouded in and got so dark we thought it was twilight, then the rain really started and soon the track was a puddle of mud with lightning blasted tress falling in the water and still burning all around us. We felt rather vulnerable, both sitting in one of the higher objects, and the only one made of metal but it seemed more important to keep

going. After a while the storm relented and we made camp. I am sure I have mentioned before, that most bush travellers like to select a camp site in daylight so they can do a thorough recce’ in daylight, it really helps if you need to address an emergency later when the lights have gone out! We camped on wet sand but managed to stay fairly dry during the night, Gerry had a massive tarpaulin, about the size of a squash court, we stretched it over the ground and folded it once to make a water proof cover both under and over us, it was big enough to ensure we did NOT disturb each other in the night!! I used a similar “Swag” during many of my bush trips with the Cattle Station some time later, but mine was smaller and lighter. Probably a bit boring but the

design and utility of a swag is worthy of a short story in its own right, maybe later. The following morning it was clear and bright and we realised we were camped in a valley between two enormous sand dunes, there were hundreds more, extending for miles in both directions, WNW and ESE, I climbed the 20 metres to the top, the view was.. “different”, I looked down at our tiny camp and realised that was the only man made object for about 150 miles. I looked at my feet and thought, I am the first person to stand here. Rubbish I know, but it was a strange feeling and has an element of truth.

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David Bass, presenter of ‘ITV at the Movies’ writes: “I have to say I'm impressed. This is the first local festival I've enjoyed watching afterwards. With a four camera set up, fantastic sound quality and some wonderful local moments, the

Ampthill Festival disc set offers a unique chance to experience or relive a great event.”

or by mail order from the Ampthill TV website www.ampthill.tv/buy.html


CONTINUATIONOF ROCKET’S

GRAND TOUR ON A BMW

MOTORCYCLE(copied from his daily journal) Day 11 - 28th October 2010Woke up around 7-20am, going to lay here until 9am Spanish time. Then down to sample the hotel buffet breakfast. I have quite a few hours to kill before checking in my bike at the ferry at 1pm. Had to have a bottle of water from the mini bar, cost me €2-45! How can they justify that! I have just been down to the breakfast buffet. What a pig I have just made of myself at €8-32. I had 2 croissants, 2 choc au pain, 4 little chorizo sausages, 4 little normal sausages, 2 slices of cheese, 2 bits of bacon, 1 slice of an unknown potato and egg pie. Various ham and sausage slices, 2 pots of tea, 1 peach juice, 1 pineapple juice and 1 glass of orange juice. I feel stuffed, but at least I can justify paying over the top for a bottle of water earlier! Going to have another shower to kill time. Checked out and paid my bill. Went for another wander around Santander, this time I got into the Cathedral. Checked into the ferry port at 10-42am, then had a walk around the duty free came out and met a man with a brand new Ducati Motorbike which

he had just used for touring round Spain with a company. Then started chatting to another motorcyclist with a London accent, he had just returned from Morocco, having been there 3or 4 times before. Had a long chat with him about Morocco and got all the info I need, so will go there again some time! He and 6 others were going on a trek to Timbuctoo, but they were not allowed to go through the border so they had also cut short their holiday and were returning two weeks early. The bit of Morocco I stayed in was apparently the worst part. He said if I had ridden just a few miles south it all changes and is a lovely place. We all then boarded the boat, I found my allocated seat and then went straight to the bar where I met up with two more English bikers and the others I had been talking to earlier. Its funny how motorcyclist and bars go together! It was a night ferry so entertainment was provided in the form of a “tacky “ magician and quite a good Elvis impersonator. I then had a meal of Ham and Veg and went to find my seat to settle down for the night. Next time I go on this ferry I shall book a cabin to sleep in, but I just had to take what accommodation was available under the circumstances. To be continued ... And it’s the final part next month!

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DON’T LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU!Daniel’s legendary all day Sunday Lunches are proving to be more and more popular! But it is essential to book your table so you don’t arrive and see this sign!

CHRISTMAS PARTY BOOKINGS NOW BEING TAKEN

Daniel’s Christmas menu is now available so please ring or pop in for the details or to make a booking for your Christmas Party!

CHRISTMAS DAY LUNCHESDaniel is now fully booked for

Christmas Day Lunches.

QUIZ NIGHT EVERY WEDNESDAY

With our resident guest Quizmasters - starts at 9.00 pm. No entry fee and everyone welcome!

REAL ALESUp to 8 real ales available

Something to look out for in the New Year ... THE QUEEN’S HEAD

KNITTING CLUB!!Watch this space for more details!

CHRISTMAS EVE AND NEW YEAR’S EVE

Join us for a gentle celebrations in true Queens Head style! - Music, fun and surprises! And a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

to everyone from Richard, Daniel and the team!

Answers by email to [email protected] or on a postcard to The Fuddler, PO Box 756 Ampthill Bedford MK45 2WZ Answer next month!

With Lauren Louella Boughalls Hello once again everybody and many thanks to all of you who correctly identified last month’s picture as being the old pill box at the top of Ampthill Hill opposite the turn to Houghton House. Well done to Alan, Charles, Robbie, Paul, Bob, Howard, Miriam, Mitch plus everyone else who got it right who we haven’t got the space here to mention! This month Algi and I have been out and about and found this rather splendid sign outside a smashing country pub! Do you recognise it? Have a lovely Christmas everyone and a Happy new Year an I’ll see you in January!

Happy birthday Donna (Mrs Devil) for the 7th all our love Graham, KT and Roo (your honorary child!) xxx


Hello everyone. I am not an actress, but I am currently appearing on your television sets do all sorts of outdoorsy type scary things! But who do you think I am? You’ll find the answer at the foot of the page.

Dr Charlotte Uhlenbroek

By Henry Flagstaff I had hoped to get a game of golf in with Archie during this wonderful sunny weather of late, but alas he has been too busy! Gladys is in the kitchen baking cakes as I sit quietly in the wingback gently supping my malt and listening to a beautiful piece of Brahms on the wireless. (It was Piano Quintet in F minor if you must know). I have found a tome by the excellent Stephen King called Lisey’s Story which the nice lady in the library

recommended. Described on the cover as ‘Perhaps Stephen King’s most personal and powerful novel to date, Lisey’s Story is a beautifully textured suspense narrative about the wellsprings of creativity, the temptations of madness and the secret language of love’, I found myself drawn into the pages so much so I couldn’t put the darn book down! It’s a fantastic story, well worth a trip to the library, the malt was brilliant and the cakes turned out well too!

HF

Katy and Chris on the birth of ‘Albie’ on

November 27th weighing in at 8lbs 4½ ozs!!

If you are looking for economical local advertising - you have found The Fuddler! If you would like to book an

advertisement for the New Year or wish to enquire about space availability please ring Martin on 01525 841434


‘Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year from all at Bennetts’


Here we bring you some more observations and tales from the whimsical world of Montgolfier: I have a pot of paint - it says see instructions. The only thing it says is ‘Do not swallow’. Could it be OK to gargle with? Notice in the rear window of a car: ‘If you can read this - where the blazes is my caravan?’ Did you know that the shortest commercial flight is 34 miles and takes 20 minutes? It is from Gibraltar to Tangier. The Canary Wharf doesn’t have a thirteenth floor. So I wonder how they join the two sections together. A friend of mine who enjoys his whisky with water, for Lent he always gives up the water and drinks it neat. I’ve just had a slice of carrot cake which I really enjoyed. I wonder what Brussels Sprout cake or even runner bean cake would taste like. On a trip to the Orkneys I pitched my tent on the campsite in Thurso to catch the noon ferry. There was one at 6.00 am which I thought was too early. At 4.30 am two girls unzipped my tent, grabbed me by the legs and said ‘Come on, it’s time to get up.’ They thought I was part of their group for the 6.00 am ferry. They must have been embarrassed but I thought it was hilarious. Enjoy Christmas and have a lucky New Year.

Montgolfier

Sending festive love to California for Thomas and Kasey, lots of love from Mum, KT and Roo xxx

CCovanta Incinerator

The Fight Continues...

Marston Moreteyne Action Groupwww.mmetag.com

Clearly everyone who fought the Covanta proposal will be deeply

disappointed and angry to learn that despite overwhelming local &

national opposition the IPC have approved the monster incinerator.

This is not the end of the road. The Environment Agency are yet

to give its approval and to date Covanta have no significant

customers so the economics of the incinerator don’t stack up.

What You Can Do

�The On-Line Petition is still open. Please visit - show your support - sign and

encourage others to do so.

�Central Beds Council are examining the IPC process for possible non adherence, in order that they can instigate a possible judicial review. If you felt that the IPC were obstructive or that the process failed in some way - visit

for details on how you can register your comments.

�Posters and Leaflets are still available to download at - please use these to help spread the

www.mmetag.com

www.mmetag.com

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Episode 26 pt V............ Quite Bazaar

We left our adventurer in the last instalment, playing table tennis with his chums on the deck of the liner whilst steaming towards Tunisia and a whole new continent....Africa. We were to spend a day exploring the capital, Tunis and would split into groups again according to our projects. As mine was on tourism, I was going to concentrate on the ‘Souk’ or the markets t h a t m a k e u p t h e commercial quarter of many Arabic cities and towns. Later that afternoon

everybody would regroup and visit the ruins of Carthage, now a World Heritage Site. The market in Tunis was situated in the ‘medina’ a district that is typically walled, containing many narrow and maze-like streets, as well as historical fountains, palaces and mosques. Because of the very narrow streets, the medinas are free from car and motorcycle traffic and in places can be less than a metre wide. You can imagine how busy these bustling areas could get. Some medinas were deliberately designed to

slow down and confuse invaders; or in this case an unsuspecting young tourist. We were told and warned to stay in our groups and not drift off, but when you are being constantly pestered and dragged in some cases into a bartering ordeal, it’s quite difficult to keep tabs on your fellows. It was during one such exchange, a deal over a hat, that I became detached from my group. It was on a crossroads of the market and the group could have gone in any direction; panic, distress and desperation all came and went and came again. All the while I was being asked to buy carpets, hubbly bubbly pipes,

livestock, spices and fruit & vegetables that I’d never even seen before. More out of luck and probably blind panic I had stayed relatively close to the point where I had become lost, the teacher who was leading our group on realising one of her flock had become separated, went back to the point where I was last seen haggling over the hat. I was just about to be swapped for a goat to an Arab trader when I was reunited with the teacher and the safety of my chums.....albeit being the subject of much ridicule for the rest of the day.......... to be continued Once I was lost, then I was found

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